People
like me
can never
be lovedIt’s something we
won’t allowPeople
like me
can never
be lovedWe simply don’t
know how
The Night Shift
Is it
too late
to phone
in sick?
For life…
Aspirations
Off on
my travels
again
Hoping to
find some
peace
Perhaps I’ll
meet someone
new
And this
heartache will
cease
Sense (less)
I’m starting to forget.
Your face,
Your voice,
Your touch.
I don’t like it.
Apathy & Deception
How the
fuck am
I going
to get
through
today
when I
can’t even
open my
eyes?Why the
fuck am
I even
bothering
today
when
my life
is just
a myriad
of lies?
Guilty
I got lost
in his eyes
when he spoke to me
and, for a moment,
I wondered what
it would be like
to hold his hand.I’m sorry.
No Way Back
To carry
on living
is proving
too hardWith my mind
and my body
so irrevocably
scarred
Creaky Floorboards
Tonight is
the first time
I’ve felt real fear
Being
home alone
without you here
What if someone
breaks in during
the night?
Will I survive
now you’re not
here to fight?
The Jumble Sale
I rummage around inside my head as I search for what to say
But the silence means all you hear is that I don’t want you to stay
I rummage around inside my head as I look down to the floor
But the silence means all you hear is that I don’t love you anymore
What is painfully sad for both of us is that neither of these things are true
But this jumble sale of words in my head prevents me from being honest with you
A Long Forty Eight Hours
If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
a fifth can start
to appear.Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
realise that
the end is near.If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
your mind can
start to bend.Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
know it’s the
beginning of the end.
Life as a Relic
It’s like
I’m now
a museum
exhibitEveryone
is welcome
to stop
and stareBut there
is no
touching
allowed
Another Day, Another Hangover
I really
should
get out
of bedAnd do
something
less boring
instead
Our Waltz
My joy
is in your
weakness.
Your solace
is in my
pain.
Both
forever
destined,
To dance
together
in the rain.
Seven Pints In…
Drunk
Happy
Drunk
Sad
Fridays
are a
bitch
The Tempest
I don’t care for sun
I don’t care for rain
What I need is thunder
So that I can breathe again
The Drudgery
Another
day spent
trudging
through
the
sludge
of life
still
refusing
to budge
forever
trying to
avoid the
judgement
of those
who secretly
hold a
grudge
against me
Pretty Sure
I’ll look again,
if you like,
but I’m pretty
sure there’s none.
Fun, happiness,
joy, laughter,
I’m pretty sure
they’ve gone.
Careless
Waking up to find that,
once again,
I’ve lost my mind
at some point
during the night…
The Back of the Wardrobe
I foolishly
made a
mistake
today
I opened
the box
I’d hidden
away
Where the
memories of
my life
are kept
Along with
all the silent
tears I’ve
wept
No Air
It’s too hot to think
as I sit here on the brink
of yet another nervous breakdown…
Connections
It’s easier to connect with other artists these days than it is to any of my friends.
It’s because we understand how shit things are, I think, when the madness descends.
Not Today
No-one can shield me,
from this pain within.Nothing can soothe me,
now the rot has set in.
Week 34
You all think
I’ve forgotten,
but you
have no idea.
I could never
be that tasteless,
or so fucking
insincere.
The Trip
I’m done
with
this shithole
todayI’m packing
up and
running
awayFar
from where
the sun
can catch meAnd to where
the pleasure
of pain
distracts me
Rose Tinted Glasses
Sometimes a
wander down
memory lane
is no bad
thing
So long
as you can
remember
your way
back
The Knight
You would come charging in on your white horse
Thinking you’re going to save the world, of course
But you’ve got nothing to offer underneath all of that armour
You don’t fool me, you know, you little charmer
I Already Know
I already
know I’m
a piece
of shit
I don’t
need you
to remind
me of it
I already
know I’m
a bitter
old crone
I don’t need
you pointing
out that I’ll
forever be alone
I already
know my
cuts are
too deep
I don’t
need you
to watch
them weep
I already
know that
I’m dead
inside
I don’t need
you telling me
there’s nowhere
left to hide
Bonding
Admit it.
You hate this as much as I do.
It’s what keeps us together.
Hide & Seek
When I
think back
I realise
that I
lost myself
way before
I lost you
Photographs
A
camera
snaps a
memory
Of a
single
moment
in time
I’m glad
there’s not
that many
of us
My
one time
partner
in crime
I don’t want
anyone to
see our
photographs
Because
our
memories
are mine
Random #17
‘It’s never too late to be what you might have been’
– George Eliot
Help Me
I never used to be like this, she said,
I used to be brave.
What happened to you, he asked,
Why did you cave?
The world happened, she replied,
You wouldn’t understand.
Why don’t you try me, he implored,
As he reached for her hand.
‘Always Look On The Bright Side Of… ‘
Death.
The ultimate break up.
Just Because I’m Yawning, Doesn’t Mean I’m Tired
The restlessness
has startedSleep is refusing
to advanceBody and soul
have departedHaving led me
a merry dance
Written In The Stars
When you
fall in
love with
complicated peopleBe prepared
for it to
end in a
complicated wayAnd for you
to be left
searching for
an explanationForever
Wednesday 11am (Pt 2)
So I managed,
in the end,
to get out of bed
And it’s been a
shitty day so far,
just as I said
So I was right,
I should never
have tried
For I’ll never
escape this
pain inside
Wednesday 2.30am (Pt 1)
I can’t even
bear the thought
of what’s to
come tomorrow
No doubt
it’ll just
be more misery
and sorrow
Perhaps I’d
be better
off staying
in bed
Then I might
just escape
these thoughts
in my head
When Will It End?
Biting my nails
until they bleed,
doesn’t give me
the relief I need.
Scratching my skin
until it’s breaking,
doesn’t stop my
heart from aching.
When will it end,
this pain I’m feeling?
When does it stop,
when do I start healing?
Water
It’s
amazing
the
difference
a shower
can makeInside
and
out…
The Time Waster
I cannot
believe
after all
this time
I’m still
stuck in
your trap.Quietly
putting up
with your
bullshit and
listening
to all
your crap.If I have
to spend one
more minute
with you
I think
that I’ll
be sick.Never
before
have I
wasted my
time on
such an
arrogant
little prick.
Depression (Part 2)
Eat until you’re sick
Snap until you bruise
Run until you’re limp
Drink shit loads of booze
Spend until you’re skint
Sleep until you’re sore
Cry until you’re empty
Sleep around like a whore
Shout until you’re hoarse
Cut until you bleed
Work until you drop
Smoke a shedload of weed
Lie until you’re spent
Smile until you’re alone
Write until you’re wrung
Forget all you’ve ever known
Family Dinners
Can I be arsed with this?
No.
Do I still have to go?
Yes.
Fuck.
The Struggle
When you see me, you see the finished article.
Washed, dressed, hair in place, make up on and a smile on my face.
But you don’t see what it takes to get there.
You don’t see me trying to muster the strength to open my eyes in the morning.
You don’t see me forcing my weary bones out of bed.
You don’t see me berating myself as I sob in the shower.
You don’t see me looking in the mirror as I question whether or not today is the day.
You don’t see me wracked with indecision on what to wear.
You don’t see me soothing my pain as I twist and pull out my hair.
You don’t see me apply make up in the hope it makes me disappear.
You don’t see me riddled with anxiety as I lurk in the doorway.
You don’t see me breathing deeply before finally pushing open the office door.
When you see me, you see the finished article.
But just because you don’t see the struggle, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
Just because you see me smile, it doesn’t mean it’s real.
How I look, is not how I feel.
Leftovers
A weary,
confused mind.
A hollow,
empty heart.
As bleak as it is,
it’s all I have.
As my life has
fallen apart.
Dwelling
Pain helps, momentarily.
It provides a fleeting relief.
Then the numbness returns.
And living inside this emotionless abyss, continues.
Crutches
I fear
I have
lent on
you once
too often,
and now
you are
as broken
as me.I should
never have
asked for
your help,
to be
honest,
as now
you’ll never
be free.
The Office
Momentory conversations
With temporary people
Sharing fleeting emotions
Providing non-permanent relief
The Deep
Do you think
we’ll make it
out alive,
she asked,
hoping for
the truth.
I’m sure
we’ll be fine,
he said,
with all the
bluster and
naivety of youth.
At Her Majesty’s Pleasure
You were keen to kidnap my kindness
and you were happy when you hijacked my heart.
You smiled when you stole my soul
and you laughed when you looted my life.
So why is it me that has been sentenced to life in this prison?
While you’re walking around out there scot-free?
Push And Pull
Love me
or
loathe me
you’ll
never
escape me
so why
would you
even try?
Kiss me
or
kill me
you’ll
always
want me
so there’s
no use
in saying
goodbye.
A Tale Of Two Cities
I don’t
want to
leave,But I
know I
can’t stay.I’ll be alone
wherever
I go,So really
I’m screwed
either way.
The Art Gallery
Sometimes
I think
I’m too
stupid to
understand
Sometimes
it feels
like I’m
the only
one that
does
Glasgow
Everything has
changed
while everything
has stayed
the same
In this city
I once
so proudly
called
‘hame’
Royal Exchange Square
I had to come back here,
How could I not?
Because it all started here,
On that night I’ve never forgot.
Xxx
Homecoming
As the
days go on
I guess
we’ll see
If I can
go back
to the person
I used to be