Aspirations

Off on
my travels
again

Hoping to
find some
peace

Perhaps I’ll
meet someone
new

And this
heartache will
cease

Apathy & Deception

How the
fuck am
I going
to get
through
today
when I
can’t even
open my
eyes?

Why the
fuck am
I even
bothering
today
when
my life
is just
a myriad
of lies?

Guilty

I got lost
in his eyes
when he spoke to me
and, for a moment,
I wondered what
it would be like
to hold his hand.

I’m sorry.

Creaky Floorboards

Tonight is
the first time
I’ve felt real fear

Being
home alone
without you here

What if someone
breaks in during
the night?

Will I survive
now you’re not
here to fight?

The Jumble Sale

I rummage around inside my head as I search for what to say

But the silence means all you hear is that I don’t want you to stay

I rummage around inside my head as I look down to the floor

But the silence means all you hear is that I don’t love you anymore

What is painfully sad for both of us is that neither of these things are true

But this jumble sale of words in my head prevents me from being honest with you

Who Am I?

I think
I forgot
myself

Somewhere
along
the way

So not only
have I
lost you

But I have
a whole life
to replay

A Long Forty Eight Hours

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
a fifth can start
to appear.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
realise that
the end is near.

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
your mind can
start to bend.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
know it’s the
beginning of the end.

Our Waltz

My joy
is in your
weakness.

Your solace
is in my
pain.

Both
forever
destined,

To dance
together
in the rain.

The Drudgery

Another
day spent
trudging
through
the
sludge
of life
still
refusing
to budge
forever
trying to
avoid the
judgement
of those
who secretly
hold a
grudge
against me

Pretty Sure

I’ll look again,
if you like,
but I’m pretty
sure there’s none.

Fun, happiness,
joy, laughter,
I’m pretty sure
they’ve gone.

Connections

It’s easier to connect with other artists these days than it is to any of my friends.

It’s because we understand how shit things are, I think, when the madness descends.

My Younger Self

If I spent time with my younger self, what would I say?

Well done for putting up with this bullshit every day

If I spent time with my younger self, what would I see?

A weary acceptance that life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

If I spent time with my younger self, what would I feel?

An overwhelming sadness that time will never heal

If I spent time with my younger self, what would I do?

Tell them to pack a bag and run away with you

If He Goes, I Go

When he asked if she was OK, she smiled and nodded her head.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him she wished that she was dead.

When he brushed the tears from her eyes, she winced and turned away.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him she wished that he could stay.

When he held her for the last time, she knew she would get her wish.

She didn’t have the heart to tell him she’d already planned for this.

Week 34

You all think
I’ve forgotten,
but you
have no idea.

I could never
be that tasteless,
or so fucking
insincere.

The Trip

I’m done
with
this shithole
today

I’m packing
up and
running
away

Far
from where
the sun
can catch me

And to where
the pleasure
of pain
distracts me

The Knight

You would come charging in on your white horse

Thinking you’re going to save the world, of course

But you’ve got nothing to offer underneath all of that armour

You don’t fool me, you know, you little charmer