Bleak As Fuck

told you
a lie

I said
I felt better
and that I
am okay

When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray

That I
won’t live
to see
another day

18 thoughts on “Bleak As Fuck

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    1. That’s such a kind offer my friend and it really does mean a lot to me.
      But there’s no need to worry, honestly.

      This last year has been tougher than most, but I’m slowly working through it all. Writing – openly and honestly – again has been helping enormously but I suppose I need to be more mindful of how my words can affect others at times…

      Sometimes what I write is autobiographical, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes I post in real time, sometimes I don’t. But the anonymity I protect here affords me the opportunity to reflect on (and work through) some of the darker sides of my psyche – something I’ve always struggled to do in real life.

      Saying that, I did surprise myself a bit with this one – hence the title – but I am OK. Really.

      I’ll try harder to mix the lighter with the darker in future 🖤🖤

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I understand. But when you see such obvious red flags, it would be wrong to leave without making sure.
        I’ve read all your posts and comments recently, it’s clear there is something in your personal life that plagues you. You’ve found a great way, it seems, to vent those emotions.
        Don’t change on my part, or anyone else’s. We are here to read what you offer, not change you 💚

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your comment my friend, and for your concern. It’s touching to know that there are people out there who care…

      At the risk of repeating sentiment expressed in a previous reply – sometimes my words are an accurate reflection of what I think or feel at any given time and sometimes they are not.

      Or, more truthfully perhaps, they are all rooted in some kind of personal experience but the dramatic licence I employ to express that shouldn’t be underestimated.

      One of the reasons why I write anonymously is so that I can explore – and work through – the darker aspects of these experiences openly and honestly. This is something I’ve always found easier to do in a written form as opposed to verbally.

      I hope my words have not put you off reading further. Although the darkness will always be a feature, there will be lighter moments at some point in the future too. Promise. 🖤

      Liked by 3 people

      1. You don’t have write light and fluffy pieces to appease anyone; they are your words and should not be ungenuine. And anonymity is a precious thing, I know. Maybe include a comment or one of your signature hearts after the darker ones so we know not to worry? Or don’t. I don’t know, it’s not really my place to tell you how to run your site. Glad you’re okay though. And the poem was well written, of course. You didn’t lose a reader.

        Liked by 3 people

  1. Are we both on the path of lying to those we don’t want to hurt (what about ourselves?)…..My back is riding back to burning. I’m going to rest. GN …..I’ll be looking forward to cotton candy & lollipop writing when & if I wake….keep flowing & never let it be the end… flowic friend!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Bed is such a punishment for me…..
        Cotton candy & lollipops……first one uses hot air to blow spun sugar the other you suck it off. Yeah, IDK….there are many variance of what could mean cotton candy & lollipops…no unicorns rushing out of the surging sea? Dang…I need a little magic! haha…Ty

        Liked by 1 person

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