Sporadic Profanity

I can be quite poetic,

It seems

When I put my mind to it

This one serving to remind me

It doesn’t always need

To be ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’


The Birds

Looking up to the sky

This foreboding feeling grows

As I see the unkindness of ravens

And hear the murder of crows

(Originally Posted 31.03.2021)

So It Seems

It’s not just coping

With the grief

For your beloved one

Who dies

It is also dealing

With the loss

Of everyone else

You leave behind


True Colours

What
else
did
you
lose

She
asked

On
the
day
he
died?

All
the
love
and
respect

I
once
had
for
you

She
bitterly
replied

(Originally Posted 31.03.2020)

Wow Part #2

In difference to the year before

I’d travelled down to Glasgow here

I met up with an old friend

To discuss another one over beer

What a difference a year can make

Along with some heavy anti-depressants

As you can see I was far happier

And had never felt more present


Old Faces

I
loved
talking
to you
so much
tonight

It
bought
a tear
to my
eye

It seems
there’s
no one
else I
want to
sit with

And
watch
the
world
go by

(Originally Posted 30.03.2020)

Wow Part #1

Jesus.

How depressed was I?

I’d travelled over to Dublin

Albeit with a heavy sigh

I remember all those people

And all the fun they had

I remember trying to fit in

Even though I was pretty much mad

It’s sad to think back now

On just how much I missed

As I may well have been there in person

But I clearly did not want to exist


Travel

It doesn’t matter where in the world you go.

How beautiful the country you visit,

How fascinating the people you meet,

How much booze you drink.

You can’t run away from your thoughts.

You might have a different view from your window but your soul will remain as black as the night sky and, beneath it all, you’ll still be the same fuck up you always were.

Travel solves nothing.

(Originally Posted 30.03.2019)

The Midland Hotel

I met him again

Last week in town

Just me and him

No one else around

It was quite nice

When we went to bed

I didn’t pay much mind

To his empty head

But upon waking

I knew it was a mistake

So I said my goodbyes

Saving myself the headache


Sex With The Ex

There’s a small amount of comfort

But it quickly becomes a chore

And when he tries

To converse

You remember why he’s such a bore

(Originally Posted 29.03.2021)

Still A Worthy Actress

Still here

Still play-acting

And still, no one has noticed


Pretence

People are easy to fool, I find, on the whole.

They are so wrapped up in themselves they don’t notice me standing there, amongst them, pretending to be happy…

(Originally Posted 29.03.2019)

Alphabet Heart (Part II)

Aware. Authentic.
Bold. Brave.
Charming. Creative.
Different. Defiant.
Enlightened. Expert.
Fearless. Feisty.
Grateful. Grounded.
Honorable. Hopeful.
Impassioned. Impressive.
Joyful. Jovial.
Knowledgeable. Kindhearted.
Lively. Loyal.
Mysterious. Memorable.
Novel. Noteworthy.
Original. Outrageous.
Passionate. Powerful.
Quirky. Quick-witted.
Realistic. Reliable.
Self reliant. Safe.
Thoughtful. Tender.
Upright. Unique.
Visible. Valued.
Worldly. Willing.
Xxx
Young. Yielding.
Zealous.


Alphabet Heart (Pt I)

Atrophied. Abandoned.
Bleak. Barren.
Crumpled. Cracked.
Dark. Dank.
Embittered. Enraged.
Failed. Forgotten.
Garotted. Gutted.
Hateful. Haunted.
Indignant. Idle.
Jagged. Jaded.
Knocked. Knotted.
Longing. Lost.
Maudlin. Morose.
Nightmarish. Numb.
Obstructed. Obliterated.
Paralysed. Prone.
Quiet. Queasy.
Rotten. Ravaged.
Stolen. Shattered.
Traumatised. Tainted.
Unloveable. Undone.
Violated. Vanquished.
Weeping. Wasted.
Xxx
Yearning. Yawning.
Zero.

(Originally Posted 28.03.2019)

Those Treacherous Bastards

I know how I can come across

Yet I am actually quite forgiving

But there are some for who

Bile I will spew

Every day that I am living


Et Tu, Brute?

Out of
everyone
it could
have been

I didn’t
expect
it to
be you

I thought
you’d side
with me
forever

Not be
first
in the
queue

(Originally Posted 27.03.2020)

Becoming Unstuck

Back in the day

The only way

Was to express my grief

In paragraphs

I avoided talking

Like the plague

And couldn’t look

At photographs

I knew that it

Was wrong of me

But in my sadness

I was frozen

There was no option

For me back then

No other path

I could have chosen

But now I find

Day in day out

I can move

A little bit more

I am becoming unstuck,

It seems

Of that much

I am sure

I can only hope

As time goes on

Things continue

In this vain

And I’m never physically,

Mentally or emotionally

So immovable

Again


Immovable

It’s like wading through a swamp. Trying to lift your limbs from quicksand. Pushing against an invisible wind with a colossal weight strapped to your back. Everything takes so much longer. So many hours are lost. Motivation is impossible to muster. Action comes only in waves. Trivial tasks are insurmountable and nothing makes sense.

I’ve become physically, mentally and emotionally immovable.

Please, send help.

(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)

The Restoration

It’s sad to think

I was on the brink

With thoughts so dark

Back then

At least now

I feel better, somehow

So won’t need that knife

Again


Cards On The Table

So this is
what it
amounts to

All I have
to show for
my life

Do you
know

I can’t
actually
be arsed

Please,
just pass me
the knife

(Originally Posted 26.03.2020)

Random #183

‘Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know some day it’ll all turn around…’

Random #182

“We are going to emancipate ourselves from mental slavery because whilst others might free the body, none but ourselves can free the mind.”

Too Easy

It seems she took back to it

Just like a duck to water

But just because

She dropped her drawers

It doesn’t mean we should applaud her


(Hot)Wired

How
will
it
feel

She
asks

As
I don’t
think
I know

I’ve
forgotten
what it
means

She
says

When
something
stirs
below

(Originally Posted 25.03.2020)

Learning The Hard Way

I remember the inspiration

For this one

It was based on

A session I’d had

With a particularly

Shitty therapist

Back when I

Was clinically mad

He said my struggles

Were my own fault

And to get better

I ‘must try harder’

Yet I was the one

Who apologised to him

Like I was forced to

With my father

I’ve realised since

That I’d been conditioned

To seek out

The approval of men

To say sorry

For my shortcomings

To promise never

To do it again

But I

Am getting older now

And I can feel

The strength in myself

So all those men

Who have fucked me over

Can go and rot

In hell


Must Try Harder

You must try harder, he says

Harder to smile

Harder to laugh

Harder to forgive

Harder to forget

Harder to live again

Harder to love again

You must try harder, he says

I can’t, she whispers

I’m sorry

(Originally Posted 24.03.2019)

Truths

I still stand by this.

Completely.


Lies

There is no better place.
Those we love don’t walk beside us.
There are no other rooms.
You will stand at that grave and weep.
There are more than five stages.
There are more than two parts.
Tears are not silent.
There is no peace or comfort to find.
Time heals nothing.
You’ll always walk alone.

And grief is like a fucking tsunami,
so good luck learning to swim in that.

(Originally Posted 23.03.2019)

Pretentious

I guess I could say

I wanted to make

A few different points here

About the ‘disconnection’

Between body and mind

The betrayal of desire made clear

But I’d be lying

If I said these things

When the truth is actually thus

It was more that I wanted

To find a way

Of using the word egregious


Disconnection

She betrayed me again today

The little bitch

She always wants what I do not

Now I must fix

Her egregious mistake

Before both of us get caught

(Originally Posted 22.03.2021)

Solidarity

I wrote this one

Two years ago

When the pandemic

The world had changed

Yet reading it again

It could well be written now

By those poor souls

In Ukraine


Surreal

It is
just so
unbelievable

That things
have come
to this

Who or
what will
save us?

As we
stare into
the abyss…

(Originally Posted 22.03.2020)

Too Graphic

I have never set out

To offend

To hurt,

Or cause anyone displeasure

But I do understand

The words from my hand

Are too heavy for some to treasure


Dear Reader

Sometimes
my words
are so
savage

I even
surprise
myself

It’s like
the page
I must
ravage

With no
care at
all for
yourself

(Originally Posted 21.03.2020)

Elastic Bands

I try far less

Nowadays

And for that I am glad

For there’s only so many

Scars I can bear

And so many stitches

To be had


Hiding The Knives

No amount
of blood,
sweat and
tears

Will ever
be enough
to assuage
these fears

Believe
me

I’ve
tried

(Originally Posted 21.03.2020)

‘A Waste Of Petrol, Time And Hope’

If only I was able

To be more optimistic

But I’ve been around enough

To know life is tough

So it’s better to be fatalistic


Fuck It

It doesn’t matter

How hard we try

We still fuck it all up

In the end.

(Originally Posted 21.03.2019)

The Substitute

I don’t want to drink with you

I don’t even want to smoke

I just need you to fuck me

For you’re my only hope


The Two Of Us

I don’t want just anyone,

I only want you.

To feel you,

Touch you,

Wrap my arms around you.

Hold you,

Squeeze you,

Bring me to my knees,

You.

It’s always been you.

(Originally Posted 20.03.2020)

Answers

Never
Of course not
I shouldn’t think so
Don’t be stupid
Obviously not
You should
You won’t
Fuck knows
Of course
Yes


Questions

When does this pain end?
Have I not suffered enough?
Will things ever change?
Does time heal everything?
Am I done?
Do I care?
Shall I?
Go where?
Alone?
Forever?

(Originally Posted 20.03.2019)

It Wasn’t Right

I’m glad that we

Both walked away

Before things went too far

Now I can see

It wasn’t the way

To mend our broken hearts


Immoral

This
can’t
go on

We
mustn’t
continue

As the
guilt is
seeping

Into
every
sinew

It
has to
stop

It
shouldn’t
have
started

As
we’re
making a
mockery

Of our
dearly
departed

(Originally Posted 19.03.2020)

You’re Gone

It took me a while to accept it

But now I know that it’s true

So all I have are these memories

From those days of me and you

Xxx


Still Hear

I still hear
Your key rattle in the door
I still hear
Your footsteps across the floor
I still hear
Your rubbish music playing
I still hear
Your awesome temper fraying
I still hear
You impart your innate wisdom
I still hear
You berate with fierce criticism
I still hear
You sing your daft wee songs
I still hear
The bubble of your endless bongs
I still hear
You chew too loudly when you eat
I still hear
The thump of your heart beat
I still hear
Your laugh and your wry chuckle
I still hear
Your beloved belt unbuckle
I still hear
Your enticing voice roar
I still hear
Your thunderous snore
I still hear
Your exasperated sigh
I still hear
Your exhausted cry

Oh, how I wish you were
Still Here

(Originally Posted 19.03.2019)

Random #181

‘Say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come
From out of this world
Leave the real one far behind’

Random #180

“You know, being approachable isn’t that important, anyway. The Queen hasn’t smiled since the ’70s, and her birthdays are still very well attended.”

– David Rose

Fridays

Still,

It’s fun at the time


Two Day Hangovers

You can take a tablet

To halt a head ache

You can eat a sandwich

To settle a queasy stomach

You can sleep a while

To revive your weary bones

But the self loathing?

That shit lingers inside your head for days

And there’s nothing you can do to help that

God, hangovers are awful

(Originally Posted 18.03.2019)

The High Life

With bubbles fizzing

On my tongue

And sugar sticking

To my teeth

I can’t help but laugh

At that photograph

Knowing now what lay beneath


On (A) High

I
hope
you
will
remember

The
next
time
you
are
sad

I
could
have
been
there
for you

But
you
blew
every
chance
you had

So
now
you
will
find
me

Sitting
in my
ivory
tower
instead

Eating
strawberries
and
glugging
champagne

From
the
comfort
of my
bed

(Originally Posted 18.03.2020)

If Only I’d Done It Sooner

If there is anything

I regret at all

It’s that leaving took me so long

I wouldn’t usually struggle

To get out of trouble

Or to right such a fucking wrong


Emancipation

I’m so
happy
I got
out of
there

As my
mind
was
going
fuck
knows
where

At
least
now
a smile
I can
wear

Whilst
I walk
around
without
a care

(Originally Posted 18.03.2020)

Less For Murder

Nearly nineteen years of my life

That’s what you had when you were alive

And now three years on

Since you’ve been gone

It still feels like me who died


The Debt Collector

You’ve
stolen
my life
from me

In
oh so
many
ways

It may well
have been
you that
died

But
I’m
the one
who pays

(Originally Posted 17.03.2020)

Perspectives

God, I remember that night so well

Along with the guilt that ensued

It took quite a while

To realise my smile

Didn’t leave his memory devalued


Open Ending

It was nice talking to you last night.
I forgot, for a moment, that my heart is broken.

It felt good to laugh, to smile, to dance.
It’s been a while since I did those things.

I’m happy we randomly met, but I’m also glad you left when you did.

Now I have the memory of our open ending, to help mend my grieving heart.

(Originally Posted 17.03.2019)

Still Mad

I told you they’d quiten down

He said

That you just had to give it time

The reason I don’t hear them

She said

Is because now they tend to mime


Psycho(tic) Babble

It’s
past
midnight
again

And
still
I’m not
in bed

When will
they stop
driving
me insane

These
voices
inside
my head?

(Originally Posted 16.03.2020)

Someone’s Hero Somewhere

I am still amazed

To this day

That anyone continues reading

Who knew there could be

Such a community

For those with hearts that are bleeding


Nobody’s Hero

Please
take no
notice
of me

For I’m
as fucked
as anyone
can be

So don’t
let what
I write
enthrall

As they
are just
words,
after all

(Originally Posted 16.03.2020)

Him

When I was at

My lowest ebb

It was you who was there

For me

You’ll never know

How much you did

To help my heart

Run free


Hope

Your words help guide my wayward step

And shine light in to my darkened heart

Your smile breaks my fall to the kitchen floor

And stems the tears from my haunted eyes

Your touch quietens the incessant voice in my head

And replenishes my embittered soul

You allow me to believe that love might be possible again

One day

(Originally Posted 16.03.2019)

Still Laughing At Bad Jokes

I definitely laugh more now

She said

I feel like that

Is damn good progress

I would tend to agree with you

He said

If it didn’t hinge

On my joke telling prowess


‘Laughing At Bad Jokes’

Seriously

He said

That was funny

Can’t you just crack a smile?

Wait a minute

She said

While I remember how

As it’s honestly been a while

(Originally Posted 15.03.20)

‘Take All That Away, And What’s Left?’

I never did thank you

For teaching me

How to respond

To insincerity

I have never been happier

Than the day I realised

That sealing up

Your crypt for good

Meant you would die inside


Grief Vampire

Paltry, trite sentiment
Faux hurt and pain
Superficial, artificial compassion
Feigned sadness and tears

You’ve got no fucking idea 
How this really feels
Just piss off back to your crypt
And leave me in peace

(Originally Posted 15.03.2019)

A Simple Solution

I took the easier route,

In the end,

And just sold the car


Country Roads

I should stop driving

So late at night

Especially

On country roads

It is far too tempting

Not to press the brake

And it’s not like

I’m afraid of the dark…

(Originally Posted 15.03.2019)

A Temporary Fix

I have since toiled

Without that guide

Pasting my heart

With water and flour

I just have to hope

It continues to hold

Though it’s looking less likely

By the hour


My Heart

My heart is smashed into a thousand tiny pieces.

I don’t have the glue to put it back together.

And I lost the instruction manual years ago.

(Originally Posted 14.03.2019)

The Self Fulfilling Prophecy

It doesn’t seem to matter

Who tries to talk me up

I cannot ever escape the feeling

That I am a total fuck up

It started when I was young

When I was told I was a peice of shit

That I’d never amount to anything

Despite whatever it was I did

Even into adulthood

That was always on my mind

Although I have since met people

Who are all supportive and kind

But now as I stand here

At another fork in my life’s tale

I just wish I could believe them

Instead of those who convinced me I’d fail


Flightless Bird

If only
I believed
you

Things
would be
so different

If only I
was who
you see

Life
could be
magnificent

(Originally Posted 14.03.2020)

Switching Sides

I felt like this

To begin with

When I still thought I could move on

But now I know

How fucking hard that is

I wish it was me that had gone


Who Goes First

It’s better that I’m living without you

Rather than you living without me

You’d never cope with this pain

It has wrecked me

But it would have destroyed you

And I would have hated that

(Originally Posted 14.03.2019)

The Naivety Of Youth

He had a lucky escape

To be fair


Passing Notes in Class 6GA

I think we should stop seeing each other.

I can’t stop thinking that something is going to go wrong and we are going to get found out. I feel so much guilt about what we’ve been doing – it’s not fair on her, you or me. It’s not right that we have to keep our relationship a secret. It means I cannot let you get close to me and you deserve more than that. You need someone who can show off what a brilliant guy you are. Not someone who has to hide you away. Like me.

I want you to know that the times we have shared have been really special to me. I’ve enjoyed every second I’ve spent with you and that’s what makes this so much harder. But it has to be done. Although it kills me to say it: we cannot carry on. I love you with all my heart but putting an end to this now will be the best thing for us both in the long run.

I’ll never forget our time together. I’ll treasure the memories of our clandestine meetings forever.

Please don’t forget me. I know I’ll never forget you.

I’m sorry.

(Originally Posted 13.03.2019)

Too Soon

It all goes back

To that one day

When you stole

My childhood away


Getting Your End Away

If I
hadn’t
been so
confused,
then.

I
wouldn’t
feel so
used,
now.

(Originally Posted 12.03.2020)

The One Who Lost It All

I wasn’t really

Truthful here

There were others

Who also cried

But no one else

Ever came close

To feeling what I did

When he died


The Only One

You said I was the only one who made you laugh.
You said I was the only one who made you cry.
You said I was the only one who made you feel safe.
You said I was the only one who you could trust.
You said I was the only one who made you feel special.
You said I was the only one who mattered.
You said I was the only one who taught you patience.
You said I was the only one who taught you to be happy.
You said I was the only one who taught you to love.

Then you left.

And I was the only one who cried.

(Originally Posted 12.03.2019)

Random #178

‘When I was a child I truly loved: Unthinking love as calm and deep as the North Sea. But I have lived. And now I do not sleep.’

– John Gardner

A Wry Chuckle

Yet another based in fact,

This one,

From a past life indescretion

Thank fuck I found,

In the end,

Less painful forms of expression


Conflicting Stories

I gave you everything I could

He said

Even if you don’t remember it

You gave me hell, heartbreak and hepatitis

She said

And your dope was shit

(Originally Posted 11.3.2021)

Lovers Lament

In a parallel life somewhere

In another space and time

Things would be very different

And you would still be mine


Different Hymn Sheets

Shall
we
just
stay
here

She
said

And be
happy
forever
more?

I
don’t
think
I can

He
said

For
there’s
another
I love
more

(Originally Posted 10.3.2020)

Making Do

I remember this

Only too well

Wandering around

In a daze

Living life

On autopilot

Trying to navigate

The maze

That conflict inside me

Never stopped

I still feel it

To this day

It’s just easier now

To do what I can

And to push the cannot

Away


I Can / I Cannot

I can forever buy token things,

But I cannot answer my phone if it rings.

I can try to plug the cavernous gap,

But I cannot avoid that same old trap.

I can seek out frames for your daft wee photos,

But I cannot keep all of your old clothes.

I can find different ways to while away the hours,

But I cannot keep watering those dead flowers.

I can pray today will be warm and sunny,

But I cannot walk around and pretend to be funny.

I can look for answers in the cold grey sky,

But I cannot continue to painfully cry.

I can avoid scenes of actual violence,

But I cannot ensure my wilful silence.

I can try with all I have to get myself through,

But I cannot ever stop myself from loving you.

(Originally Posted 10.3.2019)

All Rights Reserved

Tomorrow didn’t come

Back then

Which I’m sure

Made some people happy

But it’s still an option

That I keep in mind

For when life, once again,

Turns crappy


The Bridge

Today, I choose not to jump.

Tomorrow, who knows.

I am already on the edge…

(Originally Posted 09.03.19)

The Grudge Still Holds

We may not have spoken

For three years now

All since I cut you

Out of my life

But please believe me

When I say

That my anger

Still runs rife


Slow Clap

Well done you

Seriously

I really am

So pleased

That’s another

Innocent person

You have brought

To their knees

You’ve achieved

Legendary status

To that

We can all attest

For when it comes

To fucking people up

You really

Are the best

(Originally Posted 09.03.2020)

In Truth

I love how this one

Makes me sound

Like a player extraordinaire

When really I’d rather

Read a book

Than have my legs in the air


Bluntly

Do you believe in soulmates

He asked

As he lay back in the bed

No

She said, bluntly

Now can we just fuck instead

(Originally Posted 08.03.2021)

The Return Journey

It is becoming ever clearer

That I’ve spent too long

In amongst the mundane

Now enough time has passed

With me being downcast

And I want that high life again


The Train Home

Why
can’t
it be
like that
all the
time

Talking,
laughing
and
drinking
wine

It
always
feels
like
such a
crime

When I
have to
return
to this
life of
mine

(Originally Posted 08.03.2020)

The Best Confirmation Name Ever

Patrick James ‘Judas’ Brady
Oh what can I say about you

One of the first boys I ever loved
That is most certainly true

We only had one night together
And you returned from whence you came

But after our briefest of interludes
I never saw cricket the same way again


Random #8

Sitting on a wall with Judas dressed in cricket whites

I guess we’ll never know

19.6.1997

(Originally Posted 07.03.2019)

That First Lockdown

It’s funny to look back now

And see when this was written

Only three short weeks before

The first lockdown in Britain

Who’d have known how much I’d rue

Those days when I couldn’t be arsed

As I’d hardly leave the house again

Until the following March


Pre Booked Fun

Are you
sure I
have to
come out
tonight

As I
really
can’t
be
arsed

Apart
from
anything
my face is
a fright

And the
will
to get
dressed
is sparse

(Originally Posted 07.03.2020)

Something I’m Not

It never did sit right with me

That night when I led him on

Not only was I embarrassed

But all my principles had gone

I could’ve just blamed the vodka

Or the fact that he was a flirt

But if I’m honest

I’d become a chauvinist

And had stopped caring who I hurt


Embarrassment

I didn’t think

I could fuck things up

Any more if I tried

But then I got drunk

And kissed you back

And now I want to die

(Originally Posted 06.03.2021)

A Semi Shared Experience

And still your agony continues

In difference to me

She continues to linger on

Whilst he’s already been set free


Foreboding

It’s all just so wrong

This shouldn’t be happening to you

Not as it hasn’t been that long

Since it happened to me too

I’m not sure how to act

And I’m not sure what to say

For there’s nothing that can take the pain

Of what’s to come away

(Originally Posted 06.03.2020)

In The Pawn Shop

How much could I get for it

He said

I know it’s pretty thin

Fuck all I’m afraid, mate

He said

You’re better throwing it in the bin


Cheapskate

You may as well keep the ring

He said

I’ve got no use for it

I’d rather keep my dignity

She said

Than this worthless piece of shit

(Originally Posted 05.03.2021)

Really Rather Good

Not much to add to this one

As of it I am quite proud

All I will say

Is like the play

It’s best if you read it out loud


A Modern Day Soliloquy

To text,

Or not to text:

That is the question:

Whether ’tis best just to disappear or perhaps

Continue this same conversation with you,

On a face to face and in person basis,

And by doing so end us.

(Originally Posted 05.03.2020)

Random #176

‘Some people write letters to some people and some don’t. I’m not complaining, but there it is’

– Eeyore

How The Table Turned

Just for that one

Moment in time

I thought, perhaps,

That I had won

But then I saw you

Holding her hand

And I knew then

That we were done


Across The Table

I love how you know,

To hold my hand,

Just by the croak in my voice.

I am so grateful,

That you understand,

Just how much I need that choice.

Feeling that you’re there,

And how much you care,

Means everything you see.

But not forcing me to speak,

When you sense I’m weak,

Is why you’re the one for me.

(Originally Posted 04.03.2020)

Who’s That Girl?

I don’t remember who wrote this

But I can see that she was sad

Understandable, to be fair,

As she’d lost everything she had


2am

I am broken
I am hurt
Words unspoken
Emotion curt

I am sad
I am wrong
Mind mad
Tears throng

I am tired
I am lonely
Memories mired
Despair only

I am weak
I am frail
Burning cheek
Limbs fail

I am down
I am done
Brows frown
Love gone

(Originally posted 04.03.2019)

G42 Revisited

Just a month or so ago

Sitting here alone

I took a notion to Google

That place we once called home

And there in the depths of YouTube

I found a stylish video tour

Filmed by an estate agent, apparently

As part of their brochure

I sobbed as I watched the camera

Pan from room to room

All of those happy memories

Now bathed in brokenhearted gloom

And yet I am so thankful

That such a thing does exist

As a peice of our history digitised

Is such a wonderful gift


G42

Was it really

The best of times?

Or was it just

The worst?

I’ve got nae idea, pal

Ma heid’s fuckin’ burst

(Originally Posted 03.02.2020)

Rising Above

Nobody ever did throw that lifeline

So I learned to swim on my own

It was better that way

Than to wait for the day

When I wouldn’t be alone


Loving You…

Feels like I’ve been thrown
Into the loch
The freezing water
Sucking me down
With no one on land
To throw me a lifeline

(Originally posted 03.03.2019)

Try Manchego Instead

If only it took

Just a wee bit of cheese

To give my heart

A playful squeeze

Yet to succeed

Requires further endeavour

As I have no desire

(For cheese or otherwise)

What so fucking ever


Middle Class Wooing

Don’t
bother
picking
flowers

They
will just
make me
sneeze

If you
really
want to
impress me

Just
bring
a wheel
of cheese

For an
‘expensive’
bottle
of wine

And a
little
bit of
Brie

Is
really
all it
takes

To get
into
bed
with me

(Originally Posted 02.03.2020)

Saving Both Heartbreak And Time

As my head spun round

And the thunderbolt struck

I couldn’t help but think

If only I’d ducked


Pubs, Clubs & Other Establishments

It is strange.
You are told that when these things happen, you’ll just know.
You won’t be able to catch your breath,
your stomach will be in knots 
and a thunderbolt will fly through the sky.
But it doesn’t … it didn’t.
It is strange.

It is not that you are particularly handsome – you are not.
But it’s the way you make me feel.
You make me laugh.
You make me smile.
I look forward to seeing you.
I look forward to you coming to see me.

But I know there is no future in it.
It will not go anywhere.

I want the thunderbolt.
I need it.

(Originally Posted 02.03.2019)

1994

This may have been posted

In 2019

But it was written long ago

In the back of a French class

As I recall

Looking out into the snow


Je Suis Morte

I’ve been here so many, many times before

I’m just fucking bored now.

Bored with the fucking lot of it.

It’s pointless now.

Not that there ever was a point, obviously.

Je Suis Morte.

I Fucking Wish.

(Originally Posted 02.03.2019)

The Experience Since

Indeed she did

And she did it well

Or so some people said

Yet somehow now

Three years on

She’s still fucked in the head


The Beginning

‘Don’t be afraid to start poorly’

The kind man wrote

‘I will try’

The sad woman replied

And she did

(Originally Posted 01.03.2019)

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