Harsh Truth

It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn

When
you’re
at the
point of
no return

That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit

Whether
you decide
to stay
or to
end it

Healing

Some
days

You are
so close
to me

Some
days

You
are so
far

Some
day

I’ll have
nothing to
remind me

Other than
this scar

What I Feel Inside

This shadow

Is too hard
to explain

But it’s
reared it’s
ugly head again

Wailing and
moaning
and gnashing
it’s teeth

The only
way out
is to
hide
beneath

Hoping
and
praying
one day
it’ll
let me go

And I’ll
be freed
from
the pain
of this
enduring
sorrow

The Black

It’s only
when you
reach the
bottom

You
realise
there’s no
way back

You
know then
you’re too
far gone

But all
you can
see is
The Black

Purgatory

I guess that
only time will tell

How long I’ll spend
living in this hell

Waiting for
the axe to fall

Wondering when
to end it all

Bleak As Fuck

I
told you
a lie
yesterday

I said
I felt better
and that I
am okay

When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray

That I
won’t live
to see
another day

Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

Not Long Now

Each day
brings another
false hope

And an earth
shattering
new low

I’m really just
biding my
time now

Waiting
until it’s my
turn to go

Scissors

It’s time
to put you
back in
your box

To fasten
the lid
and change
the locks

I cannot
continue
down this
path

For if I
do there
is no way
back

The Noose Tightens

Today has
been like
scratching
a brick wall

I didn’t
see this
one coming
at all

Everything
I’ve done
has made me
feel worse

I cannot
shrug this
nightmarish
curse

It feels
ridiculously
melodramatic
to say

But I
really don’t
think there’s
another way

All that
appeals
to me now
is that rope

As finally
it seems I’ve
abandoned
all hope

Eternity

Counting the days
Counting the hours

You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers

Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds

We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons

When Will It End?

Biting my nails
until they bleed,
doesn’t give me
the relief I need.

Scratching my skin
until it’s breaking,
doesn’t stop my
heart from aching.

When will it end,
this pain I’m feeling?
When does it stop,
when do I start healing?

Depression (Part 2)

Eat until you’re sick
Snap until you bruise
Run until you’re limp
Drink shit loads of booze

Spend until you’re skint
Sleep until you’re sore
Cry until you’re empty
Sleep around like a whore

Shout until you’re hoarse
Cut until you bleed
Work until you drop
Smoke a shedload of weed

Lie until you’re spent
Smile until you’re alone
Write until you’re wrung
Forget all you’ve ever known

The Deep

Do you think
we’ll make it
out alive,
she asked,
hoping for
the truth.

I’m sure
we’ll be fine,
he said,
with all the
bluster and
naivety of youth.