Something Old / Something New

I wandered lonely as a cloud

Screaming the words fuck you out loud

As, like the night, she walked in beauty

I wished someone would just come along and shoot me

As I, in the wood, took the road less travelled

I sat and cried as my mind unravelled

And as we talked between the rooms

I closed my eyes and succumbed to the fumes

Masochism

Every time
I hear
this song

It brings
tears to
my eyes

And pain
to my
heart

A reminder of
all I’ve come
to despise

And how
we’ll forever
be apart

I should
just press
stop

Switch
off the
laptop

And
walk
away…

Harm Reduction

I’ve been
trying
so hard
to break
this chain

So I’ve
drawn on
my arms
with Biro
again

At least,
this time,
it’s just
a token

And my
skin,
for now,
remains
unbroken

I Surrender

It’s the
first
thought
I have

When
I
wake

A
desire
so
dark

My heart
starts
to
shake

As the
hour of my
certain
end draws
near

Will today
be the
day I
release
my fear?

Harsh Truth

It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn

When
you’re
at the
point of
no return

That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit

Whether
you decide
to stay
or to
end it

Healing

Some
days

You are
so close
to me

Some
days

You
are so
far

Some
day

I’ll have
nothing to
remind me

Other than
this scar

What I Feel Inside

This shadow

Is too hard
to explain

But it’s
reared it’s
ugly head again

Wailing and
moaning
and gnashing
it’s teeth

The only
way out
is to
hide
beneath

Hoping
and
praying
one day
it’ll
let me go

And I’ll
be freed
from
the pain
of this
enduring
sorrow

The Black

It’s only
when you
reach the
bottom

You
realise
there’s no
way back

You
know then
you’re too
far gone

But all
you can
see is
The Black

Purgatory

I guess that
only time will tell

How long I’ll spend
living in this hell

Waiting for
the axe to fall

Wondering when
to end it all

Bleak As Fuck

I
told you
a lie
yesterday

I said
I felt better
and that I
am okay

When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray

That I
won’t live
to see
another day

Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

Not Long Now

Each day
brings another
false hope

And an earth
shattering
new low

I’m really just
biding my
time now

Waiting
until it’s my
turn to go

Scissors

It’s time
to put you
back in
your box

To fasten
the lid
and change
the locks

I cannot
continue
down this
path

For if I
do there
is no way
back

The Noose Tightens

Today has
been like
scratching
a brick wall

I didn’t
see this
one coming
at all

Everything
I’ve done
has made me
feel worse

I cannot
shrug this
nightmarish
curse

It feels
ridiculously
melodramatic
to say

But I
really don’t
think there’s
another way

All that
appeals
to me now
is that rope

As finally
it seems I’ve
abandoned
all hope