But

If only I could ask you,
But I never should.

If only I could show you,
But I never would.

If only you could tell me,
But you never should.

If only you could love me,
But you never would.

Tomorrow

I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m forced to remember you, tomorrow.

Forced to remember those torturous nights.

Forced to remember those heart breaking conversations.

They were so private, so personal, so intense.

Those words only ever destined to leave your lips and reach my ears.

There will be others there that feel the same way about their loved one, I’m sure.

And there will be others there just to watch. To steal someone else’s story to tell as their own.

Fuck them.

I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m forced to remember you, tomorrow.

I just wish you were still here.

And that I didn’t have to go.

Still Hear

I still hear your key rattle in the door,
I still hear your footsteps across the floor.
I still hear your rubbish music playing,
I still hear your awesome temper fraying.
I still hear you impart your innate wisdom,
I still hear you berate with fierce criticism.
I still hear you sing your daft wee songs,
I still hear the bubble of your endless bongs.
I still hear you chew too loudly when you eat,
I still hear the thump of your heart beat.
I still hear your laugh and your wry chuckle,
I still hear your beloved belt unbuckle.
I still hear your enticing voice roar,
I still hear your thunderous snore.
I still hear your exasperated sigh,
I still hear your exhausted cry.

I Wish You Were,
Still Here.

Sleepless in Riddrie

It's when I think about you the most.
In the wee small hours,
When I can't sleep.
Because of you.

It's your fault.
I say it often and it's true.
You have no right to make me feel the way you do.
Constant simultaneous conflicting emotions.

I know it's just sex between us.
But I feel more.
I know it's not the same for you.
You love another, after all.

I feel more of a connection.
Not just physically but mentally too.
I know when you are going to call or send a message.
It's no surprise: I sense it.

But I am scared.
I don't know the rules to your game.
I don't have the capacity to learn.
Perhaps I never will.

It's okay for you.
You have been here before.
But I know you will get sick of me, eventually.
And I won't know what else to do.

Xxx