Spies

I’m not who you think I am

She said

There’s been many times I’ve lied

I knew from the moment we met

He said

That this wouldn’t be cut and dried

Slipping

What’s the point

In laying down grit

When there’s all that ice

Still underneath it

The Birds

Looking up to the sky

This foreboding feeling grows

As I see the unkindness of ravens

And hear the murder of crows

After The Exorcism

Things should be better now

He said

They certainly shouldn’t be worse

I really hope so

She said

For I can’t live with this curse

Rolling Out The Red Carpet

Presenter 1: ‘And the award for the biggest lie of them all goes to…’

(drum roll)

Presenters 1 & 2 in unison: ‘…I’m Fine!’

(applause)

Voiceover: ‘And collecting the award tonight are Honestly and I Promise, who both played a key role in supporting I’m Fine in the 2020 film ‘How Are You Today’

The Bakery Aisle

You’re in the supermarket on a cold winters day.

You’re minding your own business, pushing your trolley and checking items off your list when your nose twitches at the smell of freshly baked bread. Tempted, you wander over to the bakery.

Your stomach grumbles as you peruse the counter. Your eyes widen as they drink in the glorious delights on offer. Loaves, rolls, buns, cakes, pastries, biscuits, tarts: each as tantalising as the next. After much internal deliberation you finally decide which one to buy.

A chocolate eclair.

You signal your selection to the assistant who hands you your prize in a cardboard box, neatly tied with ribbon. You carefully place the box at the far end of your trolley, safely stowed away from heavier household goods that might roll around and crush it.

You finish the rest of your shopping a little quicker now, somehow lighter of step, and stride with purpose to the checkout.

You hastily pack and pick up your shopping bags but you grip the box tightly in your hand, carrying it safely all the way out to your car.

You drive along with the box calling to you, provocatively, on the passenger seat. You glance over every few minutes, stretching out a protective hand and smiling in anticipation.

You get home and unpack your shopping whilst waiting, impatiently, for the kettle to boil. The box consumes your thoughts as you drum your fingers on the counter top, and your excitement continues to build.

You sit down in your favourite chair and make yourself comfortable. You tenderly untie the ribbon and lift the lid of the box. You lick your lips as your heart quickens and you finally take a bite of the glistening chocolate eclair.

You begin to realise, as you chew, that it doesn’t taste as good as you thought it would.

The cream is artificial and bland. The pastry is soggy and sticks to your cheeks. The chocolate is saccharine and hurts your teeth.

Disappointed, you put the remaining piece of the chocolate eclair back into the box, close the lid and re-tie the ribbon. You throw the box in the bin without a care in the world.

And that’s what love is like.

Being lured in by the chocolate eclair when, all along, you really should have picked the strawberry tart.

(Originally Posted 07.03.2019)

 

Ode To A Cockroach

You have no heart

You have no soul

Just crawl back

Into whatever hole

You came from

And die, motherfucker, die

(Originally Posted 03.08.2019)

Recording

It’s like living in a film

Where someone else has pressed Play

You are unable to Rewind

And you cannot hit Pause

To Fast Forward is inconceivable

As all you want to do is Stop

And Eject

(Originally Posted 17.05.2019)

Quickstep

Run around

Jump up and down

There’s a new love in town!

He’s really neat

And ever so sweet

This black heart skips a beat

I think that now

I’m ready for more

I want him to whisk me

Across the dancefloor

One Night Only

This bed’s not big enough

For the both of us

So I’ll be the one to leave

We should just be glad

For the time we’ve had

And the little bit of reprieve

Cited

From
everyone else

At the
time

I picked
you out

To be
mine

To love,
honour

And
obey

And
I did

Until
you

Walked
away

Temptation

Although
it seems
I’ve
lost
my way

I’d
like to
make it
back
someday

Now all
I can
do is
hope
and
pray

That
you
won’t
lead me
further
astray

Overpaid Playboys

It’s
been
great
to hear
so much
more

Without
the
noise
of the
crowd

I
only
wish
it would
stay like
this

So we
hear
their
passion
out loud

Quicksand

I’ve
no
idea

How
I got
in

But
I know
I can’t

Get
out

There’s
no one
here

To
lend
a hand

Or
act
upon

My
shout

The Transaction

Give it to me hard

Give it to me rough

I honestly won’t mind

If you act a little tough

Squeeze me a little too tightly

Pinch me a little too hard

I just want to feel something

That doesn’t leave me scarred

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