It’ll Need Stitches

I can clean it with antiseptic

He said

And cover it with a plaster

It won’t make any difference

She said

It’s still a fucking disaster


Bleeding

It feels
like I’ve
been
robbed,
she said,

Of the
only
love
in my
life

This
pain
just
runs
so deep,
she sobbed,

As it
cuts
through me
like a
knife

(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)

To The Day

Many more moons

Have passed since then

And plenty of suns

Now too

In fact it’s been

1,458 days

That I’ve been here

Without you

Xxx


Many A Moon

As that
day draws
ever closer

The pain
cannot be
avoided

To think
it was just
a year ago

When my
whole world
imploded

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

Death Changes Everything

This is still my answer

To most questions nowadays

All since that day

He went away

And I inherently changed


Passive

Who knows

And, quite frankly,

Who cares

(Originally Posted 27.11.2020)

Magnitude

You may well have been dead

Nearly four years to the day

Yet you still have the power

To take my breath away

Xxx


A Different Coat

I cried for
hours this
morning

I found your
notebook in
my pocket

Now I’ve
started to
read it

I don’t
know how
to stop it

(Originally Posted 19.11.2019)

Upping Sticks

When I think over

These last few years

I really have suffered a lot

So my house may well

Now be up for sale

But my heart definitely is not


Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)

Random #253

“What you really want is someone you can hang around with on a Sunday afternoon and watch a TV show with, and do nothing, and feel like it’s the most fun ever.”

– Aziz Ansari

Birthdays & Christmases

It’s alright for you

As all you need to do

Is remember him

On special occasions

Well I feel that way

Every fucking day

So you’ll never know

My frustrations


Clueless

You
think
you
know

But
you
have
no clue

What
I’ve
had to
let go

Or
what I
still go
through

(Originally Posted 30.10.2019)

One Decision, One Thousand Lifetimes

I’m not sure if this notion

Of there only ever being one person

For us to love is true

But what I can say for sure

Is even if there were a hundred more

I would only ever want you


Galaxies

If
I was
to
decide

To
leave
this
place

I’d
still
find
you
again

In
any
time or
space

(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)

Too Much Effort

Why don’t you just move on

They ask

And find another man

I’ve neither the inclination

I reply

Or the attention span


Stupid Questions

Do
you
still
think
of him

They
ask

Every
single
day

I
reply

Will
you
ever
stop

They
ask

Not
until
the
day
I die

(Originally Posted 08.10.2020)

House Warming

Especially now

The weather is turning

I wish our home fires

Were still burning


Slippers

I
miss
you

When
my
feet
are
cold

And
how
you

Would
always
warm
them
so

Xxx

(Originally Posted 16.09.2020)

There’s Always One

I’m sure that we can all recount

How we met our lovers

But some such stories

Of our former glories

Are more significant than others

Xxx


That Split Second

When I saw you
sleeping there

I couldn’t help
but stop and stare

Probably because
I was drunk too

Although nowhere
near as drunk as you

(Originally Posted 15.09.2019)

Random #236

“And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again”

Death Trumps Divorce

It doesn’t compare

It’s not the same thing

I lost the man completely

Not just my wedding ring


That Morning

You
can
try
to
imagine

But
you
can
never
know

How
much
it
tore
me
apart

When
I had
to let
him go

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

Letting It Out

Sometimes it is sadness

Sometimes it’s deep frustration

But mostly it’s just

That I still feel lost

In this whole fucking situation


Hold Me

Words
can
not
describe
the
hurt

As my
tears
fall
onto
your
shirt

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

This

I reach
for his
hand

Every
day

But
nothing
makes

The
pain
go away


That

It’s
just not
right

That you
won’t be
here when
I look
tonight

It’s
just not
fair

That I’ll
reach for
your hand
and it won’t
be there

(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)

#25 The Conductor

I wrote this one

On a train

Making my way

Back home again

I remember she asked me

Why it was I cried

‘Because he’s dead’

I replied


The Removal Van

All
my dreams
are dead.

All that’s left
is this room
inside my head,

Where you
once lived.

I wish
you’d move
back in.

(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)

A Poor Substitute

I made one into a pillow

To keep with me in bed

But there’s no point in denying

I’ve spent many a night crying

Wishing it was you instead


Your Shirt

I still have it.

Your shirt.

I can feel it.

I can smell it.

I just wish you were still here.

Wearing it.

(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)

Time Off

It takes me by surprise

Every year

If I can just yet through that day,

I think,

Then everthing will be ok

But it’s not


A Hard Week

Now that
the darkness
has descended

All my
happiness
has ended

Deep into
my soul
I have delved

And all
future plans
I have shelved

(Originally Posted 06.09.2019

Death Hurts

This was so true

For much of that first year

In fact it’s only now

I have realised

How much his illness

And his death

Had left me

Paralysed


The Robbery

Your illness
robbed you
of your life

And it
robbed me
of my mind

Your death
still cuts me
like a knife

So now
to madness
I am inclined

(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)

Never A Truer Word Written

If I ever get round

To publishing that book

This will be the inscription

Not only does it sound

Like a pretty good hook

It’s also an accurate description


Last Year

It wasn’t
just the
end of us

It was
the end of
everything

Xxx

(Originally Posted 29.08.2019)

‘Taking Different Roads’

Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back

For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack

But
regardless
of that,
you should
know

I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go


Love Lost

If I
promise
to love
you
more

Than
I ever
did
before

Would
you
come
back
to me?

Xxx

(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)

With Time Comes Acceptance, Supposedly

Stain free

Pain free

Neither really

Matter to me

As I’m still mad

And deeply sad

That this is how

It has to be


Only Sadness Remains

I wander barefoot
in the rain

Trying to wash
away your stain

Now that I’m left
in eternal pain

I’d give anything
to laugh again

(Originally Posted 12.08.2019)

Birthdays Are The Worst Days

I still don’t know

What the fuck to do

Even though today

I’m forty two


Entering My Fifth Decade

So I
turned
forty
today

And
what
exactly
did
I do?

Nothing

But
drink,
smoke
and cry
too much

Like
every
other
day

Without
you

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.08.2020)

It’s The Little Things On A Day Like This

A card left for me

On the pillow

Flowers and a bath bomb or two

I’ll buy them myself

Again this year

As there’s no way I can get them from you

Xxx


O Unhappy Day

I never
thought
you
wouldn’t
be here
today

It’s
still
hard to
accept
that you
went away

Perhaps
you’re
still
with me
here in
spirit

I just
wish
your
presence
was more
explicit

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.08.2020)

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