Category: Coping

Entering The Stream

A simple girl

With simple needs

Willing to wander

Through the weeds

Searching for something

True to find

While leaving all

Her doubts behind

3

That’s Life

Wearing away

My heart and soul

Destroying me was

Your only goal

So with your daggers

You proceeded

Until I was broken

And you’d succeeded

2

I Didn’t Believe You Anyway

Remember

When you told me

I’d never get hurt again

That it didn’t matter

How my heart was shattered

As there wouldn’t be

Any more pain

Well, you lied

This is worse

0

Self Preservation

Stop giving

It all away

And save some

For yourself

If you carry on

It’ll all be gone

And you’ll destroy

Your mental health

0

Lesson Learned

Every time

I tried to speak

I realised

I couldn’t

Because

Every time

I opened up

You’d show me why

I shouldn’t

0

Ghosts Of The Past

I think it’s unfair

To suggest

I use my childhood

As a shield

When, in fact,

It’s the way they act

That makes me

Unwilling

To yield

0

Beautifully Ruined

For the first time

In a long time

I felt myself

Today

Full of lumps

Bruises and bumps

Yet I still took

My own breath away

2

Staying Power

I understand

It takes time

For wounds

Like these

To heal

But I got bored

Of myself

Years ago

So fuck knows

How you feel

6

“Mine, Yours and The Truth”

When you said

I should leave

I did what

You asked me to do

I used that day

To run away

From everything

I knew

All those years

You took the blame

For me pressing

Self destruct

When, in truth,

It was just an excuse

That I used

To get fucked

2

Without A Fuss

Don’t you want to get better?

No, she politely replied

I think folks would be happier

If I just quietly died

4

Clean

All those worries

Doubts and fears

Washed away

Through a river

Of tears

2

Like Candy From A Baby

You seem to spend more time

Smiling

He said

Than you ever did

Before

I’ve just gotten better 

At hiding

She said

So you won’t ask me

Anymore

8

Shadows

They say

You are

No longer here

But I see you

Clear as day

I hear you

Talking

In your sleep

As I while

The hours away

They want me

To think

It can’t be true

That I’m mad

And must take

A pill

But I know you

Will never leave

And I am not

Mentally ill

4

Absence

I guess you could say

I’ve been in mourning

With no desire to see

Yet another day dawning

And despite me trying

To relieve this burden

It would only be lying

To say my future is certain

30

“You Wouldn’t Understand…”

You want advice?

I’m full of it

She exuberantly claimed

On any topic or theme

I can intervene

And so help to ease your mind

I can think of nothing worse

She sighed

Than spilling my guts to you

Because all I’d hear back

Is a load of crap

From your asinine point of view

6

Desperate

I think I thought 

I’d be alright 

That it would all

Work itself out

And yet

I’m still here

Suffering

From loneliness

And self doubt

4

Tapping Out

That’s it

I’m done

I have had

Enough

There is no

More smooth

To soften

The rough

And I know

That I seem

Pretty hardy

And tough

But trust me

I’m made

Of nothing like

The stuff

10

I Remember

You cannot say

You didn’t know

Or that I wasn’t clear

When I said no

The fact that you

Were “just a kid”

Will never justify

What you did

4

Compadre

There’s no way

I could know

The depths of your hell

But I’ve known

My own

All too fucking well

2

Piecemeal

As the punches roll

Time takes it’s toll

And I lose more

And more

Each day

I can’t be wrong

Thinking

It won’t be long

Before I fully

Fade away

0

Fitting In

All that

Effort

All that

Stress

And still

You looked

Like a hot

Fucking mess

But whether

They noticed

Your distress

Or even

Cared

Is anyone’s

Guess

8

With A Smile

When all around me

Is falling to shit

I let my stomach hurt

And my sides split

Because I know whatever

Is in my path

Is best to be greeted

With a fucking laugh

2

Food For Thought

To be honest

Most folks

Are doing

What you do

Just trying

Their best

To make

It through

So please

Don’t believe

All that

Bullshit’s true

Because, trust me,

It’s not all

About you

0

From The Gallows

I remember,

Once,

He asked me

How I cope

With all these trials

I just use the darkest

Of humours,

I said,

Along with

The wryest of smiles

0

Peachy

As the juice

Runs down

My fingers

Those feelings

Diffuse

Yet the malady

Lingers

2

Fatal Errors

I don’t see

Too much damage

He said

You could get

Yourself on track

From all the shit

I’ve done

She said

There is

No coming back

0

Filling The Void

In an

Attempt

To convince

Herself

That it really

Was ok

She sat down

With the required

Amount

To eat

Her feelings

Away

2

Manic Panic

I know

You’ll think

I’m stupid

And say

I’m off 

My head

But the seeds

Of doubt

Have rooted

And now

I’m filled

With dread

6

Like A Bad Penny

Maybe

I should move

She said

Start again

Somewhere new

It doesn’t matter

Where you go

He said

The guilt

Will follow you

8

The Dilemma

As I sit here

In the dark

All alone again

I wonder

If it’s worth it

Living a life

So plain

It would

Perhaps

Be different

If I thought

That anyone

Cared

But an opinion

On my existence

Not a soul

Has aired

So it is back

To my

Conundrum

Do I stay

Or do I go?

Waste away

Amidst

This humdrum

Or just end it now,

You know?

19

Just My Lot In Life

I suppose

I’ve never

Really cared

For people,

Places,

Or things

But just dealt

With the

Endless

Melancholy

That abject

Depression

Brings

6

Overthinking Again

I don’t think I can cope

She said

With all this worry

And stress

My heart

Just won’t stop pounding

And my head’s

A fucking mess

Maybe I’ll just end it

She said

That could be

For the best

As within

The peace and quiet

I might finally

Get some rest

4

A Swinging Brick

As I sit here

Alone again

Staring

At the wall

I know it’s not

That I don’t

Feel love

It’s that I

Don’t feel

At all

7

Motormouth

I am always here

He said

If you ever want

To talk

We could sit

And have a coffee

He said

Or go out

For a walk

Thank you

For the offer

She said

But I’d really

Rather not

If I start taking now

She said

I don’t think

I’d ever stop

0

Snakes & Ladders

I don’t think

You appreciate

How hard it is

To stay on track

When the only steps

Available

Are two forward

And three back

4

Pot Luck

Feel free

To take it all

She said

The Valium,

Zoloft and Prozac

They never really

Worked for me

So it’s not like

I’ll need them back

0

It’s Been A Long Week

I’ll go out with you

Again tonight

But don’t expect

I’ll be too much fun

I mean, I’ll be okay

But will slip away

When my social battery

Is done

2

Bored To Tears

There was a time

I’d humour you

But that has long

Since passed

It’s not like I ever

Wanted to know

That’s why I

Never asked

0

Glassy Eyed

This isn’t the most painful

She said

Or the worst hardship

I’ve endured

My armour’s doing fine

She said

Though I’m not too sure

About yours

9

Knowing Our Luck

Where will it end

She said

When will it all

Just stop

I’ve got no fucking idea

He said

But I know we’re both

For the chop

0

Silence Kills

I thought that you

Were telling the truth

When you said

You were here to help

Yet despite my decline

I realised in time

You were only ever out

For yourself

0

Mere Mortal

If I could learn

To love myself

I know how happy

I could be

But the effort required 

Would be superhuman

And I don’t have that much

In me

4

Worth A Try

I’ll get up to eat

Some food today

As opposed to staying

In bed

Maybe then I’ll find

Ways to busy my mind

Instead of laying there

Like I’m dead

3

Another Kick In The Teeth

There was once a time

When I could go home

Shower

And wash myself clean

But now there’s no let up

No matter how hard I scrub

From the pain

My body has seen

5

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