Category: Drinking

The Agave Blues

Lying here prone

On the bathroom floor

Praying my sins be absolved

If I can just resolve

To show tequila the door

4

Maudlin

Perhaps I should consider

Meeting someone else instead  

But I can’t help thinking 

(Especially when drinking) 

That I’d be better off dead

8

You Coming?

If only I looked

And felt okay

Then I’d be there

Without delay

But as it is

It’s been a pretty bad day

So I’ll stay in and wish

My life away

2

As The Night Wears On

Turning up here

An armful of beer

The epitome of niceness

But the look on your face

As I call you a disgrace

Is absolutely fucking priceless

2

Insufficient

Do you think we could be intimate

He said

Without you drinking wine first

I doubt it very much

She said

As you’re not enough to quench my thirst

Legless

Play that song
one more time

She
said

And pour me
another drink

I want to
feel it all

She
said

But without me
having to think

(Originally Posted 08.02.2020)

2

Measure For Measure

You’ve already kissed the Blarney Stone

She said

So let’s just call it a night

You’ve necked just as much as me

He said

And spoken as much shite!!

The Other Irish Rover

I’m
sorry
I told
you
I love
you

He
said

I
just
did it
for
the
craic

There’s
no
need to
apologise

She
said

Just
don’t
expect
I’ll
say it
back

(Originally Posted 20.10.2020)

6

An Expensive Distraction

It’s been nearly three weeks now

That I’ve been off the booze

Choosing to cope instead

With the pain in my head

By getting some new tattoos

Therapy?

No
matter
what
the
guidelines
say

Or
how
many
braincells
may be
lost

I’ll
slay
my
dragons
my way,
thanks

And
live
with
whatever
the
cost

(Originally Posted 05.10.2020)

8

Small Mercies

I’m not sure

If it was the booze

Or all the tablets

I was taking

But, ultimately,

I was pretty lucky

To survive all my (bad)

Decision making

Drunk

Looking in
the mirror
gives me
a fright,

But I think
I had a
good time
last night.

I don’t
remember
much or how
I got home,

So thank
fuck I’ve
woken up
alone.

(Originally Posted 29.09.2019)

2

La Vie En Tequila Rose

I went out a lot

In twenty nineteen

To live,

To laugh,

And to everything in-between

The Shot Glass

Drink,
drink,
and drink
again.

You know
that I’m
your only
friend.

(Originally Posted 25.09.2019)

2

The Torrance Inn Champions 1998

It was the last round

Music, of course

When I’d already sunk a few

But it was my knowledge

Of old Liverpudlian Soul

That really pulled us through

The Pub Quiz

What was I saying?

What was I..?

Ach, don’t mind me,

I’m drunk.

*Hic*.

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

0

Drowning It Out

Do you think

He said

That you drink too much

Trust me

She said

It’s nowhere near enough

The Trouble With Juniper

Nobody
knows
the
trouble
I’ve seen

The loves
and the
losses and
everything
in-between

On one
too many
gin bottles
I have
relied

To keep
all of my
secrets
hidden
inside

(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)

0

Delaying The Inevitable

No more for me

He said

That was the wife on the phone

I think that I’ll stay out

She said

As there’s no one for me at home

Temptress

We
really
shouldn’t
do this

She
said

If it’s
something
you’ll
regret

I won’t
know
until
we’re
done

He
said

And I
haven’t
started
yet

(Originally Posted 06.09.2020)

0

*Grabs Coat*

Why don’t you come over

He said

It’s just me and a group of my friends

That’s very kind of you to offer

She said

I get so lonely at weekends

I’d Only Stand in the Kitchen Anyway…

For the third night in a row there are people having a party, somewhere, along my street.

I can hear them talking and laughing in their garden.

I can smell their cigarette smoke through my open window.

I can hear the rattle of beer bottles as they are thrown into the recycle bin.

Music blares away until the early hours.

I’m so jealous sitting here, miserable and alone, night after night.

I mean, I can be fun too you know.

Well, kind of.

(Originally Posted 28.08.2019)

0

Nearly 25 Years Later

‘The Drugs Don’t Work’

Sang the man from Wigan

Just as I’d turned seventeen

Back then it was fun

As real life hadn’t begun

But now I know what he means

Quieten Down(er)

I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give

Drink,
smoke,
or sedative

As the
voices
inside
my head
these
days

Are
far too
competitive

(Originally Posted 15.08.2020)

2

Stick Your Tongue Out

You may be surprised

To learn in fact

This one doesn’t refer

To a suicide pact

It is actually based

On my favourite date

When we took MDMA

And left the rest to fate

Eternity

Counting the days
Counting the hours

You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers

Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds

We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons

(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)

0

‘Help Is On The Way, Dear’

Tea

She said

Is that it?

Don’t you have anything stronger

I’ll have a look in the back

He said

But it might take a little longer

Stiff Upper Lip

I
feel
so
sad

She
said

Can
you
help
me?

I’ll
certainly
try

He
said

Here’s
some
tea

(Originally Posted 09.08.2020)

4

‘Let Us Smile Each Chance We Get’

I lost that badge

Later that night

In a drunken haze

On Fleet Street

My arm was twisted

So the fun embargo lifted

And my fears, for once,

I managed to beat

Temple Bar

The hordes gather outside your hotel window.

Laughing,

Joking,

Having fun.

You wish you could be more like them.

Prettier,

Funnier,

More confident.

Instead you’re sitting in your room alone with the curtains drawn.

With nothing but your ‘I Hate People’ badge for company.

(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)

8

Time Gentlemen, Please!

And into those fires of hell

We jumped

Both of us head first

We should’ve just stopped

When the doors were locked

Rather than stay to quench our thirst

Drinking Irresponsibly

From
the
depths
of the
cold

Into
the
dancing
fires of
hell

I
just
cannot
help but
feel

That
this
will not
end
well

(Originally Posted 02.08.2020)

4

Not All Mushrooms Are Magic

The microdosing experiment was shortlived, thankfully

As if it continued

I think I would’ve broken through that fifth wall

And bricked it up behind me

Never to return

A Long Forty Eight Hours

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
a fifth can start
to appear.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
realise that
the end is near.

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
your mind can
start to bend.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
know it’s the
beginning of the end

(Originally Posted 28.07.2019)

4

And The Blues Continues

Five cans

Six cans

Seven cans

Eight

No point

Stopping now

It’s already

Too late

Six Pack Blues

One can

Two cans

Three cans

Four

Perhaps

I should eat

Before

I drink

Any more

(Originally Posted 19.06.2020)

4

Draining The Glass

Yet the fantasy

That promises so much

Rarely delivers

In the end

IPA

Beer

Bridging the great divide
between dreams and reality

Since 1993

(Originally Posted 26.04.2019)

11

My Saviour

Thank God you came over

She said

I was starting to get bored

Now the real fun begins

He said

Of that you can rest assured

With A Twist

Is
it
too
early
to start
drinking

She
asked

As
this
is
too
much
to bear

That’s
exactly
what
I was
thinking

He
said

As
he
pulled
up a
chair

(Originally Posted 17.04.2020)

3

Fridays

Still,

It’s fun at the time

Two Day Hangovers

You can take a tablet

To halt a head ache

You can eat a sandwich

To settle a queasy stomach

You can sleep a while

To revive your weary bones

But the self loathing?

That shit lingers inside your head for days

And there’s nothing you can do to help that

God, hangovers are awful

(Originally Posted 18.03.2019)

11

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