"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Have faith
In the afterlife
They say
Even just
A little bit
But if all there is
Is coming back to this
Then ‘they’
Can fucking stick it
Over And Over Again
It was always pretty reckless
And possibly quite mad
But I have fallen for you
Over and over again
In each lifetime I’ve had
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.02.2022)
I don’t know why
I was spared that day
And he was taken
Instead
But my life
Is hell without him
So I’d still
Be better off dead
Hindsight
If I
could
go back
to that
night
Knowing
what
I now
know
I would
hold you
in my
arms so
tight
And
never
let
you
go
Xxx
(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)
Those oceans feel
A little calmer now
As those days
Have passed me by
So from here
I’ll just tread water
Hoping for help
Before I die
The Drowning Girl
Tears
run into
oceans
Hours
bleed into
days
As I go
through
the motions
Trapped
between
the waves
(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)
I think we both knew
Deep down
That she would soon
Become another
That you’d be left
A husband bereft
And your kids
Without their mother
Now I know
That she had longer
And to her death
You had all faced up
Still it pains me so much
To see you
In the Under 50’s
Widow’s club
The News Nobody Wants
I hope
it all
goes well
today
I hope
with
all my
heart
For I
couldn’t
bear
for you
To live
as I
now do
And
have
your lives
torn apart
(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)
I think he does this
From time to time
Sends me something
To ease my mind
Some small reminder
Of what once was
Knowing I find no comfort
In the words of God
From Beyond The Grave
There’s no
such thing
as a sign,
she said
Apart from
when you
need one,
he said
(Originally Posted 14.10.2019)
We can all claim
To be considerate and kind
To look after each other
In both heart and mind
But what I have found
If the truth be told
Is that people only care
When you’re dead and cold
Harsh Truth
It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn
When
you’re
at the
point of
no return
That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit
Whether
you decide
to stay
or
end it
(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)
I will keep saying it
Until I am blue in the face
That I was effectively widowed
At thirty eight years old
Is an absolute fucking disgrace
Leaving
Now it’s
time
for me
leave
Please
don’t
make a
fuss
It’s not
the end
of the
world
It’s
just
the end
of us
(Originally Posted 08.10.2019)
It is hard to accept
Death is the last
That nothing more
Will come to pass
There is no healing
Or making sense of it all
When you’re the one left reeling
On the other side of the wall
One Night In Heaven
Now
we’ll
never
hold
hands
again
Walk
in the
park
or
kiss in
the rain
That
only my
fading
memory
of us
remains
Just
breaks
my heart
and blows
my
brains
(Originally Posted 04.09.2020)
I thought it was just me
Back then
But now I know I’m just one of many
Death affects everyone
As we all feel loss, innately
Only You
With my
heart
in my
mouth
And my
head
in my
hands
It saddens
me to realise
That no one
understands
(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)
Go well my friend
Into the night
Through the darkness
To find the light
The Trade Off
It’s with a heavy heart
And a mournful sigh
That the time has come
To say our goodbye
I’m eternally grateful
For all you have done
For you soothed my pain
And left me with none
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
To find out if
It’s eternal damnation
Is the worst kind
Of anticipation
Bad News
The
wait
is
almost
worse
than
the
call
itself
(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)
If death teaches you anything
It’s the importantance of a will
As without such frugality
You’ll find that your family
Will be arguing, still
Around The Corner
It’s
true
that
life
is
short
But
for
some
it’s
shorter
still
They
never
even
see
it
coming
Let
alone
have
made
a
will
(Originally Posted 11.09.2020)
Now I don’t bother
With feelings at all
They wouldn’t get it
Even if I tried
No one cares
As it was my man,
Not theirs,
Who so unexpectedly died
Locked Away
As the
chasm
between
us
Continues
to grow
It gets
harder
and
harder
My
feelings
to show
Xxx
(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)
No one would believe it
Not even wrapped up in a bow
Even those who trust
In reincarnation
Would find this one hard to swallow
Making (Sh)It Up
Who
could
believe
we’d
get
this
That
we’d
ever
again
share
a kiss
That
both
of our
hearts
a beat
would
miss
That
we’d be
together
bathed
in bliss
(Originally Posted 29.08.2020)
If only if was like that
All sentimental and romantic
But believe you me,
In reality,
Death throes are far more frantic
9.15am
I
was
high
As
were
you
When
we said
goodbye
In the
morning
hue
(Originally Posted 28.08.2019)
It’s always the little things
That you miss
Like never leaving the house
Without a kiss
Goodbye
Be careful
when you
dismiss me
As one day
I won’t
come
back
(Originally Posted 26.08.2019)
Back then my head
Was in such a mess
I couldn’t even wish myself
A peaceful death
Out With A Bang
What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?
Why is it
causing me
such unrest?
Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack
Then I
can leave
this place
And never
come back
(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)
Who am I trying to kid
She said
If anyone comes for me
It’ll be the evil queen
She said
With a poisoned apple or three
Kissing Frogs
I sit here on the sofa
All alone
With the hope of love
Completely gone
Yet I dare to dream
That perhaps one day
My prince will come
To kiss the pain away
(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)
I have long wanted to end it all
But you were always so full of purpose
As most can attest
Fate is a fickle mistress
But did she really have to curse us?
Do You Hear Me?
I’m still angry
You see
That you died
Before me
It’s just not
The way
It was meant
To be
Xxx
(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)
You should be given a manual
For when your loved one dies
Not just on how to cope with grief
But practical advice
There’s so many things you have to do
When you’re under all that pressure
It’s no wonder some things are forgotten
And then they’re lost, forever
I Should Have Done It Back Then
The last link
Has been ripped away
Our final tether
Is severed
And all I can hear
Is your voice
Telling me
That I really should’ve done better
Xxx
Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back
For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack
But
regardless
of that,
you should
know
I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go
Love Lost
If I
promise
to love
you
more
Than
I ever
did
before
Would
you
come
back
to me?
Xxx
(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)
The ultimate head fuck
For an obsessive planner like me
Is the loss of his soul
Was outwith my control
And something I did not forsee
(In)Competent
Out
of
all
the
things
I
can
say
or
do
What
hurts
me
the
most
Is
that
I couldn’t
save
you
Xxx
(Originally Posted 08.07.2020)
I had forgotten
Ever writing this
But reading it now
It’s so clear to see
Why the overwhelming trauma
I endured that morning
Will never leave
My memory
Sigh
Sorry
it must
end
this way
She
said
But
I need
to let
you go
Please
don’t
forget
what we
had
He
said
Or
how
I loved
you
so
(Originally Posted 07.07.2020)
You would never just take an item
If it didn’t belong to you
Just because someone
Has since died
It doesn’t make that any less true
Too Big For Your Boots
I’d rather watch them burn
Than see them in your hands
How you even think
You could ever lay claim
I will never understand
(Originally Posted 28.06.2021)
You appear to me in a way
That is beyond my cognition
Emerging slowly into the light
As a ghostly apparition
I hear you whisper softly
How it is now your mission
To close the void between us
And put an end to Deaths partition
Mausoleum
In
the
graveyard
Of
my
mind
Is
where
the
memories
Of
us
reside
So
when
I’m
alone
In
the
dead
of
night
I
walk
the
tombs
Of
our
love’s
plight
(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)
No matter how hard you strive
To keep a memory alive
They’re always forgotten
In the end
At All
I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.
I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.
(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)
No one talks about you
Anymore
It’s like you were never here
And for that
I’ll never forgive them
On all that I hold dear
Commitment
You were
always so
terrified
that I
would leave.
When,
after all
was said
and done,
I was the
only one
who stayed.
(Originally Posted 05.06.2019)
Call me pessimistic
But I’m just being real
This isn’t just
What I think
This is exactly how I feel
Cruelty
In a perfect world,
There is someone for everyone.
You meet each other.
You fall in love.
And you stay together,
Forever.
Ours, however, is a cruel world.
There is someone for everyone,
But you might never meet them.
You might never fall in love.
And you might not stay together,
Forever.
Because they might die,
Before you do.
And then, you’re fucked.
(Originally Posted 03.05.2019)
Nearly nineteen years of my life
That’s what you had when you were alive
And now three years on
Since you’ve been gone
It still feels like me who died
The Debt Collector
You’ve
stolen
my life
from me
In
oh so
many
ways
It may well
have been
you that
died
But
I’m
the one
who pays
(Originally Posted 17.03.2020)
I felt like this
To begin with
When I still thought I could move on
But now I know
How fucking hard that is
I wish it was me that had gone
Who Goes First
It’s better that I’m living without you
Rather than you living without me
You’d never cope with this pain
It has wrecked me
But it would have destroyed you
And I would have hated that
(Originally Posted 14.03.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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