One In Four

I think we both knew

Deep down

That she would soon

Become another

That you’d be left

A husband bereft

And your kids

Without their mother

Now I know

That she had longer

And to her death

You had all faced up

Still it pains me so much

To see you

In the Under 50’s

Widow’s club


The News Nobody Wants

I hope
it all
goes well
today

I hope
with
all my
heart

For I
couldn’t
bear
for you

To live
as I
now do

And
have
your lives
torn apart

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

Human Intervention

I think he does this

From time to time

Sends me something

To ease my mind

Some small reminder

Of what once was

Knowing I find no comfort

In the words of God


From Beyond The Grave

There’s no
such thing
as a sign,
she said

Apart from
when you
need one,
he said

(Originally Posted 14.10.2019)

Changing Your Tune

We can all claim

To be considerate and kind

To look after each other

In both heart and mind

But what I have found

If the truth be told

Is that people only care

When you’re dead and cold


Harsh Truth

It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn

When
you’re
at the
point of
no return

That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit

Whether
you decide
to stay
or
end it

(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)

Fuck Cancer

I will keep saying it

Until I am blue in the face

That I was effectively widowed

At thirty eight years old

Is an absolute fucking disgrace


Leaving

Now it’s
time
for me
leave

Please
don’t
make a
fuss

It’s not
the end
of the
world

It’s
just
the end
of us

(Originally Posted 08.10.2019)

‘Break On Through (To The Other Side)’

It is hard to accept

Death is the last

That nothing more

Will come to pass

There is no healing

Or making sense of it all

When you’re the one left reeling

On the other side of the wall


One Night In Heaven

Now
we’ll
never
hold
hands
again

Walk
in the
park
or
kiss in
the rain

That
only my
fading
memory
of us
remains

Just
breaks
my heart
and blows
my
brains

(Originally Posted 04.09.2020)

A Shared Experience

I thought it was just me

Back then

But now I know I’m just one of many

Death affects everyone

As we all feel loss, innately


Only You

With my
heart
in my
mouth

And my
head
in my
hands

It saddens
me to realise

That no one
understands

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

Go Well My Friend

Go well my friend

Into the night

Through the darkness

To find the light


The Trade Off

It’s with a heavy heart

And a mournful sigh

That the time has come

To say our goodbye

I’m eternally grateful

For all you have done

For you soothed my pain

And left me with none

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

Judgement Day

To find out if

It’s eternal damnation

Is the worst kind

Of anticipation


Bad News

The
wait
is
almost
worse
than
the
call
itself

(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)

Years Down The Line

If death teaches you anything

It’s the importantance of a will

As without such frugality

You’ll find that your family

Will be arguing, still


Around The Corner

It’s
true
that
life
is
short

But
for
some
it’s
shorter
still

They
never
even
see
it
coming

Let
alone
have
made
a
will

(Originally Posted 11.09.2020)

Different For Us All

Now I don’t bother

With feelings at all

They wouldn’t get it

Even if I tried

No one cares

As it was my man,

Not theirs,

Who so unexpectedly died


Locked Away

As the
chasm
between
us

Continues
to grow

It gets
harder
and
harder

My
feelings
to show

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)

Absurd

No one would believe it

Not even wrapped up in a bow

Even those who trust

In reincarnation

Would find this one hard to swallow


Making (Sh)It Up

Who
could
believe
we’d
get
this

That
we’d
ever
again
share
a kiss

That
both
of our
hearts
a beat
would
miss

That
we’d be
together
bathed
in bliss

(Originally Posted 29.08.2020)

Self Torture

Back then my head

Was in such a mess

I couldn’t even wish myself

A peaceful death


Out With A Bang

What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?

Why is it
causing me
such unrest?

Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack

Then I
can leave
this place

And never
come back

(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)

‘The Sleeping Death’

Who am I trying to kid

She said

If anyone comes for me

It’ll be the evil queen

She said

With a poisoned apple or three


Kissing Frogs

I sit here on the sofa

All alone

With the hope of love

Completely gone

Yet I dare to dream

That perhaps one day

My prince will come

To kiss the pain away

(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)

The Chosen One

I have long wanted to end it all

But you were always so full of purpose

As most can attest

Fate is a fickle mistress

But did she really have to curse us?


Do You Hear Me?

I’m still angry

You see

That you died

Before me

It’s just not

The way

It was meant

To be

Xxx

(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)

A Digital Death

You should be given a manual

For when your loved one dies

Not just on how to cope with grief

But practical advice

There’s so many things you have to do

When you’re under all that pressure

It’s no wonder some things are forgotten

And then they’re lost, forever


I Should Have Done It Back Then

The last link

Has been ripped away

Our final tether

Is severed

And all I can hear

Is your voice

Telling me

That I really should’ve done better

Xxx

‘Taking Different Roads’

Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back

For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack

But
regardless
of that,
you should
know

I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go


Love Lost

If I
promise
to love
you
more

Than
I ever
did
before

Would
you
come
back
to me?

Xxx

(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)

I Should Have Known

The ultimate head fuck

For an obsessive planner like me

Is the loss of his soul

Was outwith my control

And something I did not forsee


(In)Competent

Out
of
all
the
things

I
can
say
or
do

What
hurts
me
the
most

Is
that
I couldn’t
save
you

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.07.2020)

Switching Off The Machine

I had forgotten

Ever writing this

But reading it now

It’s so clear to see

Why the overwhelming trauma

I endured that morning

Will never leave

My memory


Sigh

Sorry
it must
end
this way

She
said

But
I need
to let
you go

Please
don’t
forget
what we
had

He
said

Or
how
I loved
you
so

(Originally Posted 07.07.2020)

It’s Still Theft

You would never just take an item

If it didn’t belong to you

Just because someone

Has since died

It doesn’t make that any less true


Too Big For Your Boots

I’d rather watch them burn

Than see them in your hands

How you even think

You could ever lay claim

I will never understand

(Originally Posted 28.06.2021)

‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’

You appear to me in a way

That is beyond my cognition

Emerging slowly into the light

As a ghostly apparition

I hear you whisper softly

How it is now your mission

To close the void between us

And put an end to Deaths partition


Mausoleum

In
the
graveyard

Of
my
mind

Is
where
the
memories

Of
us
reside

So
when
I’m
alone

In
the
dead
of
night

I
walk
the
tombs

Of
our
love’s
plight

(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)

Only Traces Left

No matter how hard you strive

To keep a memory alive

They’re always forgotten

In the end


At All

I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.

I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.

(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)

That It Comes To This

No one talks about you

Anymore

It’s like you were never here

And for that

I’ll never forgive them

On all that I hold dear


Commitment

You were
always so
terrified
that I
would leave.

When,
after all
was said
and done,
I was the
only one
who stayed.

(Originally Posted 05.06.2019)

‘What Do I Do Now?’

Call me pessimistic

But I’m just being real

This isn’t just

What I think

This is exactly how I feel


Cruelty

In a perfect world,

There is someone for everyone.

You meet each other.

You fall in love.

And you stay together,

Forever.

Ours, however, is a cruel world.

There is someone for everyone,

But you might never meet them.

You might never fall in love.

And you might not stay together,

Forever.

Because they might die,

Before you do.

And then, you’re fucked.

(Originally Posted 03.05.2019)

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