"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
No matter how hard you strive
To keep a memory alive
They’re always forgotten
In the end
At All
I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.
I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.
(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)
No one talks about you
Anymore
It’s like you were never here
And for that
I’ll never forgive them
On all that I hold dear
Commitment
You were
always so
terrified
that I
would leave.
When,
after all
was said
and done,
I was the
only one
who stayed.
(Originally Posted 05.06.2019)
Call me pessimistic
But I’m just being real
This isn’t just
What I think
This is exactly how I feel
Cruelty
In a perfect world,
There is someone for everyone.
You meet each other.
You fall in love.
And you stay together,
Forever.
Ours, however, is a cruel world.
There is someone for everyone,
But you might never meet them.
You might never fall in love.
And you might not stay together,
Forever.
Because they might die,
Before you do.
And then, you’re fucked.
(Originally Posted 03.05.2019)
Nearly nineteen years of my life
That’s what you had when you were alive
And now three years on
Since you’ve been gone
It still feels like me who died
The Debt Collector
You’ve
stolen
my life
from me
In
oh so
many
ways
It may well
have been
you that
died
But
I’m
the one
who pays
(Originally Posted 17.03.2020)
I felt like this
To begin with
When I still thought I could move on
But now I know
How fucking hard that is
I wish it was me that had gone
Who Goes First
It’s better that I’m living without you
Rather than you living without me
You’d never cope with this pain
It has wrecked me
But it would have destroyed you
And I would have hated that
(Originally Posted 14.03.2019)
And still your agony continues
In difference to me
She continues to linger on
Whilst he’s already been set free
Foreboding
It’s all just so wrong
This shouldn’t be happening to you
Not as it hasn’t been that long
Since it happened to me too
I’m not sure how to act
And I’m not sure what to say
For there’s nothing that can take the pain
Of what’s to come away
(Originally Posted 06.03.2020)
It was she
Who stopped my hands from shaking
She
Who stopped my head from aching
She
Who stopped my voice from quaking
So why can’t she stop
My heart from breaking?
From all the articles I’ve found
And the many tips I’ve read
There’s no plan of attack
To win your lover back
When he is cold and dead
You can run
But you can’t hide
For I will never
Be defied
You could have been
So much more
But you drank it all away
I know deep down
Your heart was sore
And that you didn’t want to stay
But I wish you knew
How much we cared
And only wanted the best
Now you’re no longer here
We hope
You are finally at rest
(For O.R)
The rain
May well
Have passed
She said
But sadly
So has
My prime
I took care of everything
But no one took care of me
Did it even occur to you
All that I had been through
And what was then my reality
I miss you today
More than ever
Sitting outside in
This stunning weather
If only we could meet again
Even after all this time
As we’d still have
Such a fucking laugh
And drain a bottle (or two) of wine
It’s been two years since you left me
Sitting all alone in that church
Cold, confused and crying
So painfully in the lurch
But it’s not really his death you know,
That has been the most pernicious
It’s how the rest of you have chosen to be
So incredibly fucking malicious
Fuck you death
She said
You really don’t scare me
That’s what you all say
He said
But through your lies I see
How long will it take
He said
For you to see
The wood for the trees
I don’t know
She said
But one thing’s for sure
In the end, everyone leaves
When he asked if she was OK, she smiled and nodded her head.
She didn’t have the heart to tell him she wished that she was dead.
When he brushed the tears from her eyes, she winced and turned away.
She didn’t have the heart to tell him she wished that he could stay.
When he held her for the last time, she knew she would get her wish.
She didn’t have the heart to tell him she’d already planned for this.
(Originally Posted 23.06.2019)
I hear her calling my name,
Luring me to the murky depths.
Her song, beckons me.
Her promise, tantalises me.
I am compelled to listen.
I am urged to respond.
But she is all the way out at sea,
And I never learned to swim.
(Originally Posted 23.04.2019)
My heart is empty now;
it can never be filled.My life is over now;
my spirit you have killed.(Originally Posted 16.07.2019)
‘Choppy waters ahead, Captain, but I see dry land on the horizon’.
‘Drop anchor here then, Sailor, for I’d prefer to die in the storm’.
(Originally Posted 27.03.2019)
Leave
this
place,
the
light
shape
whispers,
for
it
is
not
your
time.I’m
staying
here,
the
dark
shape
whispers,
for
now
I
want
what’s
mine.(Originally Posted 16.05.2019)
Widowed when you're 38
He said
That's my plan for you
Well all I can say to that
She said
Is seriously, fuck you
(Originally Posted 14.4.2019)
Death leaves
scars on the
hearts of
the living.
Unstitchable
wounds
destined to
irritate those
forced to
bear them,
forever.
(Originally Posted 13.5.2019)
Plus the grief
Of their families
Too
You can shove
Your sorrys
Up your arse,
Boris
As this buck stops
With you
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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