Category: Coping

Staying Put

Life seems so simple here

I wish that I could stay

Breathe fresh air

Without a care

As my anxiety floats away

And yet, I know,

To reality

I must very soon return

Leaving behind

My peace of mind

In exchange

For misery and concern

0

Still Standing

I haven’t

Really done much

In my forty six years

On Earth

There’s nothing of note

To really show off

That has any value

Or worth

But one thing

I am proud of

If you can excuse

My indulgence

Is I’ve survived the days

When, deep in a haze,

I really thought

I fucking wouldn’t

8

Easy Meat

My brain

Will not stop circling

Like a vulture

Overhead

I can feel it

Fucking worsening

So I may as well

Just play dead

0

The Parish Notice

Whatever

You’re running

Away from

There is no

Salvation

Here

All you will find

Is what you left

Behind

Still comes through

Loud

And clear

0

Good Morning

Monday morning

Same old story

Trying to pretend

I’m hunky dory

If only weekends

Lasted longer

Maybe I’d start the week

Feeling stronger

But as it stands

I never feel refreshed

So how this week will go

Is anyone’s guess

2

Deep And Meaningless

I’m sorry

If I’m boring

And the conversation

Way too deep

It’s not that I like

Being awake

I’m just too scared

To go to sleep

2

2pm: CBT

Fiona

Finds the biscuits

As Paula

Pours the tea

Stuart

Starts the talking

While Luke laughs

Affectedly

As I sit here

And listen

It all becomes 

Abundantly clear

So I relax, safe,

In the knowledge

I’m not the only

Fuck up here

8

Fuck My Life

I told myself

I wouldn’t do this again

I’d never put myself

Through all this pain

Yet here I am

Overthinking

It’s no fucking wonder

I feel like drinking

I really should

Have learned by now

No good ever comes

From such nagging self doubt

Now I can but hope

That my brain shuts down

While I circle the drain

And get ready to drown

2

Volumes

There’s nobody to wake me

Or offer me a drink

No one here to greet me

Or ask me what I think

I always thought I’d be happy

If I was on my own

But I’d never considered

How I’d become so withered

From the silence of being alone

0

For Your Eyes Only

I read those letters

Yesterday

The ones I sent

To push you away

And yet you stayed

Seeing through my plan

And that is why

You’re my favourite man

0

Calling In Sane*

Why do we even bother

She said

When it’s such a fucking farce

It really makes you wonder

She said

How anyone can be arsed

*title courtesy of Philip Brent Harris at thepensmight.com

2

Boring

If we ever

Met again

I’d explain why

I walked away

It wasn’t that

I didn’t want to chat

But I simply

Had nothing to say

2

Dead Cert

You’re a gambling man

She said

What odds would you give me?

On you seeing it though

He said

I’d give you 2 to 3

0

A Fate Worse Than Death

I will always say

That I’m doing well

And that nothing

Could ever annoy me

Because if I didn’t

That look

On your face

Would absolutely destroy me

4

Hitting Back

What you said

That day

Hurt me

How you treated me

Was wrong

So I’ll make sure

You get yours

To rapturous applause

Before

Too fucking long

0

Spilled Guts

If only you knew

You’re heaven sent

How you just listening

Helps me to vent

But you never will

‘Cause I’ll never say

As I wouldn’t risk

You walking away

0

You Never Listen Anyway

I’m starting to think

It’s time

For someone else

To help you instead

You’re far too reliant

And much too incompliant

For me

To sort out your head

0

Entering The Stream

A simple girl

With simple needs

Willing to wander

Through the weeds

Searching for something

True to find

While leaving all

Her doubts behind

5

That’s Life

Wearing away

My heart and soul

Destroying me was

Your only goal

So with your daggers

You proceeded

Until I was broken

And you’d succeeded

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