"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I watch you from
Across the room
And see your face fill
With dread
If only you
Could see what I do
And quiet that voice
Inside your head
Internal Monologue
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
Just cheer up,
you miserable cunt
Your wallowing
is excruciating
And your self
pity an affront
(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)
I’ve seen so many
Of them now
You’d think one
Would’ve broken through
But not one
Of their degrees
Has helped cure
My disease
Or informed me
Of what to do
The Trick Cyclist
I’d
like to
cancel my
appointment
I don’t
want
to see
you today
What’s
the point
in getting
out of bed
When
you can’t
help me
anyway?
(Originally Posted 25.02.2020)
Now I can take
Longer strokes
And can draw
Bigger breaths
Perhaps one day
I’ll swim away
And escape
These murky depths
(Compass)ion
It must
be so easy
for you
Loving
your life
as you do
But spare a
thought for
the likes of me
Who drown
in a sea of
melancholy
(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)
I eat
I drink
I sleep
I breathe
But with
Very little else
Inbetween
I Fucking Hate Tuesdays
Trudging through this half a life
Really just subsisting
Knowing I’d be
Better off dead
Than merely just existing
(Originally Posted 22.02.2022)
You can stop
Telling me
That it helps
To talk about
This shit
As you have
No notion
Of why
I’ve chosen
To keep
A lid on it
The Shrink
The
pain
is
buried
so
deep
She
said
I
don’t
think
it’ll
ever
re-surface
Then
we
should
leave
it
where
it is
He
said
Breaking
your
heart
(again)
isn’t
worth
it
(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)
You must start moving on
My friend
As it won’t be long
Until the end
And when you look back
You’ll rue the day
That you gave all
Of your time away
Overheard
All
you
do is
bitch
and
moan
And
I listen,
with
a sigh
For you
can’t
seem
to see
what
I do
That’s
your
life,
passing
you by
(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)
This isn’t actually
Strictly true
It’s not like I’ve never
Had fun
It’s more that my weakness
For bleakness
Hasn’t ever quite been undone
‘Twilight’
I wish
I could
remember
The
good
old
days
But I
fear they
were just
a lie
For
I cannot
recall
Any
time in
my life
When
I didn’t
want
to die
(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)
I felt that way
For a really long time
After you rounded on me
That night
But now I’ve moved on
And boy I’ve grown
So I’m stepping back
Into the light
Nyctophilia
I’m
better
alone
than in
company
Just
like I’m
happier
in the
dark
That
way
I never
have to
see anyone
Or
hear
another
disparaging
remark
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
I’m not sure
What I was protecting here
My mind, body or soul
Either way, it seems,
I’d go to extremes
To keep whatever makes me whole
Access Denied
What I have
Is not for you
It is mine and mine alone
If you want
What I have got
Fuck off and find your own
(Originally Posted 15.02.2022)
Just keep taking the pills
He said
And they’ll eventually quieten
the voices
I suppose I can persevere
She said
Through a lack of any
other choices
‘It’s Nice To Be A Lunatic…’
Am I over
tired
Or am I just
plain sad
Am I far
too wired
Or simply
going mad
Does it
really matter
For I think
we can deduct
That as I can’t
stop this chatter
Either way,
I’m fucked
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
Truth is
I’m getting older
I just wish
It was wiser too
Perhaps with that
Would come the ability
To find
A little stability
And I’d maybe make it
All the way through
The Spiral
It feels like
every day I fall
A little further
down the hole
Losing just
a wee bit more
Of my body,
mind and soul
(Originally Posted 05.02.2020)
If we speak to them
With smiles on our faces
There’s no chance we’ll get back
Into their good graces
We need to show them
Our regrets are huge
Even if that’s only
Half of the truth
Remorse
As we
return
to face
the music
Remember,
this is
no time
for hubris
(Originally Posted 31.01.2020)
I envy those people
Who are not deep thinkers
Who never peek out
From behind their blinkers
They all must live
Such carefree lives
Whilst I toil away
Hiding the knives
Stood At The Urinal
Do you
ever
think
there’s
more to
life
than
this?
Fuck
knows
mate,
to be
honest,
I only
came in
for a piss
(Originally Posted 30.01.2020)
Washing your hands
Checking the locks
Labelling your cans
Sorting your socks
You call them all
Your ‘OCD’
But you’ve got no idea
What it really means
All The 8’s
And so it begins
The incessant counting
The overthinking
The fear mounting
That impending doom
Will certainly strike
If I do not get
This pattern right
(Originally Posted 25.01.2021)
It’s only when
The meds kick in
That you realise
The truth
The only person
On that ward
Being fooled
Was you
Psych Ward 101
Just keep calm
Don’t let them see
They’ll leave you alone
If you just agree
(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)
It’s hard to consider
Giving much more
When your mind is weak
And your heart is sore
Cardiac Arrest
My heart
has been
aching
all day
Nothing
has made
the pain
go away
Perhaps
this will
finally be
the end
And I’ll
no longer
have to
pretend
(Originally Posted 21.01.2020)
“Raindrops keep falling on my head”
As that old sentimentalist croons
Well for me,
It’s not just raindrops
It’s a slew of fucking monsoons
Left Guessing
Time moves on
Yet I’m stood still
Fading away
Losing the will
As each second
Passes me by
I can’t seem to forget
Or stop asking why
(Originally Posted 19.01.2021)
I feel I should
Apologise again
For burdening you
Last night
I understand
It’s not your problem
And I know
It’s not your fight
Nice Try
Thank
you
for the
offer
But I
really
must
say no
There is
no need
for you
to listen
To any
more of
my tales
of woe
(Originally Posted 19.01.2020)
Has it ever occured to you
He said
That the source of your discord
Is your inability
To end the hostility
By changing the fucking record?
‘My Only Friend, The End…’
We
mustn’t
ever
forget
She
said
That
the
worst
is yet
to come
How
bloody
long
exactly
He
said
Do you
plan to
bang
that
drum?
(Originally Posted 11.01.2021)
Not everyone finds it easy
To go out and be social
Some of us need
A little time to breathe
While considering
Such a proposal
Leave Me Alone
Although the walls
Are closing in
I have no desire
To leave
I don’t understand
Why you find that
So fucking hard
To believe
(Originally Posted 11.01.2021)
‘For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack’
– Rudyard Kipling
Even if I wanted
To get up
And seize the day
It’s far too cold
For one so old
Outside anyway
Anhedonic
Trying
hard
to
survive
This
thing
called
life
Hoping
to fend
off the
madness
Striving
to find
Some peace
of mind
Underneath
this
duvet of
sadness
(Originally Posted 06.01.2020)
No matter how
I try to improve
Or alter my behaviour
It seems I’m destined
To forever seek
The beauty in my failure
In Vain
Each
time
I try
I always
seem
to fail
Spectacularly
(Originally Posted 05.01.2020)
That really does sound lovely
She said
But I can’t come out to play
Depression wins again
She said
Much to my dismay
An Illicit Kiss
I can’t
think of
anything
more
exciting
Than
sitting
under
subdued
lighting
With
your
lips
pressed
to mine
That
feeling,
divine
Now
doesn’t
that
sound
inviting?
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
Sleep at 3pm
No problem
But at 3am
Not a chance
What the fuck
Is wrong
With me
That sleep
At night
Just won’t
Advance
The Insomniac’s Paradox
Why should I bother
Going to bed
When there’s nothing
To wake up for
Why should I bother
Waking up
When I enjoy sleeping
So much more
(Originally Posted 03.01.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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