There wouldn’t be any problem
If I didn’t wake up tomorrow
At least I wouldn’t be in pain
Or suffocating in this sorrow
Two Steps Back
Words don’t cut it
Anymore
So it’s back to the knives
Instead
I really thought
I was over this
But the trauma demon
Has to be fed
In The Gutter Looking Up
Under a
crushed
velveteen
skyI lie here,
alone,
and want
to die
That’s It Settled Then
There’s really no point anymore
Now that joy seems so out of reach
It’s better to go now, than to linger
And to practice what I preach
The End Of The Road
Pretending gets tiring
After a while
So in the end you stop
With no cylinders left firing
And an inibility to smile
It’s back up to that rooftop
The Support Group
I do not come here
Every week
Looking for praise or reward
For I don’t deserve
Any of those things
Of that I have been assured
A Gradual Process
With my self care
On the floor
The noose tightens
That little bit more
‘Sputtering Out’
Life is hard
But so am I
That is why
Despite my efforts
I am yet to die
All Is Not Well
Words spill
Onto the page
Just like the blood
From my veins
Peace
It’s hard to explain what happens
When I’m standing alone up there
I’m just willing it all to end
To no longer have to care
I forget about everyone
And every little thing
It’s just me and the breeze
With the comfort it can bring
My mind is crystal clear
And I don’t hear a sound
As all of my focus is trained
On finally hitting the ground
I Can’t Be Arsed
Is this all there is now
Just sitting here killing time
Waiting for the next one to come along
Getting stoned and drinking wine
You see I’d rather not bother
Wasting all this time and effort
I’d prefer to end it here and now
And all my earthly ties sever
Try Harder Next Time
The monster who lives
Under my bed
Whispers again
Why aren’t you dead
Berating me
For writing instead
When all the time
That rope’s still in the shed
Hold Tight
That roof is calling my name.
I know it is.
I can hear it.
Every day its voice gets louder and louder.
Every day I’m drawn closer and closer.
I went up there tonight.
Just to the edge.
Just to look.
I held on to the safety rail.
I cannot promise that tomorrow,
I won’t let go.
(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)
Are You Sure About This Thelma?
As the car plunges
Over the cliff
I can’t help but wonder,
What if…
‘Think Of Those You’ll Leave Behind…’
Throwing up the contents
Of yet another hateful day
Wondering why I ever made
This ridiculous choice to stay
Beinn Eighe
My heart
belongs
to the
Highlands
Of
that
there
is no
doubt
I
pray
for
the
day
I
drive
all
that
way
And my
heart
just
gives
out
Hanging Around
I know it’s there
In the shed
Waiting for when
I choose death instead
‘Slash & Burn’
Skin somewhat healing
Yet I’m still left reeling
As my heart slowly withers
Is there a more appealing
Way of coping with this feeling
Other than by using scissors?
Clarity
In the time it took
To load the gun
He realised how
His demons won
Happy Place
Take me back
To the sea
For it is where
I need to be
But please don’t think
That just because
You’ve emptied my pockets
It’ll be enough to stop it
For in the end
It will just be me
Sinking deep down
Into the depths of the sea
Off The Hook
I’ve worked it out
How all this will end
And you’ll be pleased to know
I won’t need you, my friend
