‘You Can’t Handle The Truth’

If you were to see

Who I am inside

You would simply run

Away and hide

It’s not as though

I have ever lied

But to quell the beast

I’ve always tried


Hidden

There’s
so much
of me

You
never
see

So many
things
I do

That are
hidden
from view

I know you
won’t believe
it’s true

But it’s
my way of
protecting you

(Originally Posted 22.09.2019)

Short Sleeves

Once, I thought

I had no choice

But my innermost feeling to hide

But now I know

That given room to grow

I can wear my scars with pride


Another Notch

A
little
nick
here

A
little
cut
there

It
doesn’t
hurt
anymore

Not
that
I’d
care…

(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)

Bonne Idée

It would’ve been all too easy

To enact the ultimate ‘au revoir’

So just in case I was tempted

I made sure to sell my car


#8 The Optimist

This is

A message

From your favourite

Depressive

To say all

Is well with me

Here’s hoping

It lasts

That those days

Have passed

And I don’t drive

Into a tree

(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)

A Tough Read

I really am quite thankful

I no longer feel like this

Even though day to day

Things aren’t always okay

At least I’ve stopped thinking that shit


Shotgun

At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything

She
said

It
can’t
do any
harm

Then
you
should
take
this
one

He
said

It’ll
work
like a
charm

(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)

A Different Box Of Tricks

There are other ways

To deal with pain

Instead of creating your own,

Again


Scissors

It’s time
to put you
back in
your box

To fasten
the lid
and change
the locks

I cannot
continue
down this
path

For if I
do there
is no way
back

(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)

Long Sleeves All Year Round

You can work through your issues

Until they’re no longer discernable

But it’s important to remember

Not all the results are reversible


The Sting

If
I had
never
gone
down
this
path

It
wouldn’t
hurt
so
much
in the
bath

(Originally Posted 19.08.2020)

Seared

I guess

That is

The thing

With scars

They remain

In place

Forever

A showcase

Of the body’s

Memoirs

All those links

It cannot sever


No Way Back

To carry
on living
is proving
too hard

With my mind
and my body
so irrevocably
scarred

(Originally Posted 29.07.2019)

Pain Free

It was always a promise

And never a threat

I just haven’t decided

How I’ll do it, yet


Crying Wolf

Remember when I told you

I wished that I was dead

And you thought it was all

Just nonsense in my head

Well maybe now you’ll realise

You will finally get to see

The worst thing that you ever did

Was not to believe me

(Originally Posted 23.07.2021)

‘I Don’t Need A Gun To Blow My Mind’

This was just one route

That I’d considered

Amongst the many others

I had planned

I’d completely lost the plot

I think

In a way not many

Would understand

It seems that I

Had turned that choice

Into some kind of

Romantic notion

Which, it seems

For a while at least

Is how I coped

With my emotions

It took me some time

To best those thoughts

And to comprehend

The brutality of falling

But that’s not to say

They truly went away

And all I’m doing now, really

Is stalling


Look Out!

Falling

Tumbling

Through the air

Wondering

What it’s like

Down there

People standing

Faces aghast

Yet I don’t care

As I breathe my last

(Originally Posted 19.07.2020)

The No Escape Room

It’s a word I use a lot

‘Abyss’

Reading back now

I have noticed

I hadn’t quite realised

How numb

I’d become

Or how dissociated I was

When I wrote this


Dwelling

Pain helps, momentarily.

It provides a fleeting relief.

Then the numbness returns

And living inside this emotionless abyss, continues.

(Originally Posted 12.07.2019)

‘I Keep Mine Hidden’

Cuts that were made

Long ago

Given time do

Eventually heal

But their scars

Will remain

To remind you

Of the pain

You couldn’t reveal


No Sharps Please

The
cut
on
my
wrist

Has
now
healed

As
I was
told
not
to
pick
it

The
delicate
skin

Is
now
sealed

So
I will
try
not
to
nick
it

Again

(Originally Posted 02.07.2020)

Hard Times Ahead

I sense more of this type coming

And to be honest

I’m a little afraid

Not only to reread them

But also to relive them

Knowing how I’m capable of such again


The Note

It was the lonliness

That got to me

If I’m honest

In the end

Sitting here

Just quietly

But all alone

Yet again

Desperately trying

But failing

My broken heart

To mend

And all the while

Convinced

That the rope

Was my only friend

(Originally Posted 16.06.2020)

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Darkest thoughts

On my darkest day

I can but hope

The worst is away


Found

Hearing
how
sad
you
would
be

Doesn’t
make
me
change
my
mind

All
it
does
is
remind
me
to
choose

A
method
that
is
kind

(Originally Posted 11.06.2020)

How It Manifests

It isn’t just restricting

That should raise a red flag

Sometimes when you’re binging

It can be just as bad


Once More For The Cheap Seats

If
only
I was
wasting
away

Maybe
it would
be easier
to explain

Why my
heart is
broken and
my tongue
is tied

And
I live
each day
in pain

(Originally Posted 20.05.2020)

Seeing Stars

As my cuts bleed

I beg and plead

That this pain

Will be my last


Internal Bleeding

Words
can’t
explain

This
eternal
ache

It
hurts
so much

When
I’m
awake

(Originally Posted 17.05.2020)

‘Standing On The Edge…’

There must be something to live for

He said

Just one reason to stick around

If there is then I can’t see it

She said

Those bastards have ground me down


Please

If this

Is all there is

Then who are you

To tell me no?

You have no idea

How hard this is

So please,

Just let me go

(Originally Posted 15.05.2019)

K(not) Anymore

I threw out that rope

A few weeks ago

When I cleared out the shed

Now I’ll try to forgo

My life of woe

And hope for better instead


K(not)

All
I can
say is
I live
in hope

That
one day
I will
tie that
rope

As
tightly
as I see
it in
my mind

And
all my
troubles
I’ll leave
behind

(Originally Posted 06.05.2020)

Alive

That is the difference

Between you and me

I have no interest

In all of this

Whilst you are happy to be


The Silent Killer

I’m just sitting here,

Waiting it out,

Biding my time.

Soon,

The axe will fall.

And it’ll all be over.

Thankfully.

(Originally Posted 30.04.2019)

A Healthy Slice

Upon my skin

Those scars abound

A better release

I’ve never found


Precision

Just be
careful
not to
slip

Not one
ounce of
blood to
drip

For you
do not want
them to
see

Just how
messed
up you
can be

(Originally Posted 27.04.2020)

Should’ve Used Housebricks

You lived to see another day

He said

Why aren’t you happy about that

Because I had made my choice

She said

And in the end my plan fell flat


Lifeline

The rubber ring
floats
towards me.

Thank you
for throwing
it down.

But I have
no desire
to grab it.

The rocks
in my pocket
are all
I need.

(Originally Posted 20.04.2019)

The Edge Of The World

It’s been a while

Since I’ve been up there

And for that I am glad

As I know next time

I climb those steps

I won’t ever be coming back


Indecision

It’s a long way to the bottom
from all the way up here.

As I stand and shiver
I can’t help but think…

What happens if I change my mind
halfway down?

(Originally Posted 15.04.2019)

Come Time

I spend less time by the river

Nowadays

It’s not my preferred option

Anyways


Drowning

The girl in the river,

She never thought she would be.

The girl in the river,

She didn’t want you to see.

The girl in the river,

She just wanted to be free.

The girl in the river,

She is me.

(Originally Posted 06.04.2019)

Relieved

The scars I carry

Across my body

May well be off the chart

But now I focus

On pulling myself together

Instead of tearing myself apart


Relief

As I
open
up my
scars

The
blood
flows
once
more

As I
begin
to see
stars

I fall,
sated,
to the
floor

(Originally Posted 03.04.2020)

The Restoration

It’s sad to think

I was on the brink

With thoughts so dark

Back then

At least now

I feel better, somehow

So won’t need that knife

Again


Cards On The Table

So this is
what it
amounts to

All I have
to show for
my life

Do you
know

I can’t
actually
be arsed

Please,
just pass me
the knife

(Originally Posted 26.03.2020)

Elastic Bands

I try far less

Nowadays

And for that I am glad

For there’s only so many

Scars I can bear

And so many stitches

To be had


Hiding The Knives

No amount
of blood,
sweat and
tears

Will ever
be enough
to assuage
these fears

Believe
me

I’ve
tried

(Originally Posted 21.03.2020)

Up ↑