You really shouldn’t wait
He said
Who knows what could happen next
It really wouldn’t matter
She said
As I’m far too fucking depressed
The Long Dark
There are some nights
That never stop
Even when you look
That silent clock
Just seems
To stay the same
Time appears
To have stopped
And although you lie
There and watch
You know that everything
Has changed
Like A Canary
With my head at rest
On the chopping block
I now think it best
That I start to talk
Universal
She said she’d written it
About herself
When I saw her
On TV
But there’s no way
She could portray
The exact same feelings
As me
On With The Show
Save your cheers
Your whoops and applause
I don’t deserve it
I’m inherently flawed
And please don’t say
That’s why you love me
Because that’s even worse
Than just clapping would be
What Do You Want From Me?
You don’t see it, do you?
She said
The sadness in my eyes
That’s because you hide it
He said
So you shouldn’t be surprised
Imaginary Friends
I have
More fun
In my head
That’s why
I prefer
To stay in bed
Gritted Teeth
The hardest part
About being depressed
Isn’t crying
Every day
The hardest part
About being depressed
Is pretending
You’re OK
‘They Fuck You Up…’
I’ve always felt
Misunderstood
Wrong, somehow
And not much good
But I’ve come to learn
As I have aged
I wasn’t born this way
I was made
Unqualified
If you needed help
He said
Why didn’t you just ask
Because I knew
She said
You weren’t up to the task
Adequate
I’ll never have
The perfect body
I’ll always be
An imperfect soul
So to get through each day
Without further decay
That
Is the fucking goal
Winter
Here I am
Pretending again
Faking a smile
To hide my pain
I fucking hate this weather
Charming Collaborations #8
Never Give Up
Don't give up now
He said
You have come so far
The moment you give in
Is the moment
You fuck up
You can't afford to regress
He is not there to catch you
When you fall flat
On your pretty face
Written in collaboration with Cassa Bassa at http://www.flickerofthoughts.com ©2023
A Well Trodden Path
Tell me about yourself
He said
I’m here to listen
Not talk
There’s nothing left to say
She said
As every ware I’ve had
I’ve hawked
You’ll Find
No one cares
In the end
Not even family
Or your friends
Liquidity
You can’t drink from an empty cup
He said
Your throat is still left parched
To have a cup in the first place
She said
Would be a fucking start
Deadened
I wish
That things
Were different
And I could be
More in control
But my drive
Is non existent
So I’m stuck here
In this hole
Thank You And Goodnight
I am going home
And locking the door
As I do not care
For this shit anymore
Detrimental
There’s nothing worse
Than when it hurts
And that
Is all the time
Yet I’ll pretend
To the bitter end
That everything
Is fine
Eyes Off The Ball
There’s only so much you can take
He said
Before you’ll break down for good
If you don’t think I’m screwed already
She said
Then you’ve clearly misunderstood
On Mute
I don’t think
You were hiding
But you just genuinely
Didn’t know
When I would ask
“How are you feeling”
About
The impending blow
The Shield
It doesn’t matter
What you say
Because however much
You try
Nothing will ever
Hurt me now
As I am dead
Inside
Therapeutic Relationships
Life is better
He said
Than it was
Your progress
You can’t deny
That doesn’t mean
She said
I don’t still dream
Of stabbing you
In the eye
“More Espresso – Less Depresso”
Why don’t you come along
They said
We’re going for coffee and cake
To force such joy upon me
She said
Would only be a mistake
Off The Rack
It took me a while
To realise it
However, it seems,
I’m built for this shit
Taking to Bed
Some days
I feel ok
And how I present
Is true
But on other days
This deep malaise
Makes faking it
Too hard to do
Cognito
Now that all
The talking’s done
And those strategies
Have been deployed
It is time to face
The reality
I’ve tried so hard
To avoid
Seeing It Coming
Paranoia can be
Our best friend
As it often saves us
In the end
Fatalism
The lighter’s scritch
Scratches the itch
Of yet another
Nicotine hit
So I flick the switch
And cross the stitch
On yet another day
I didn’t quit
A Reflection
Why are you so depressing
He said
Why are your words so dark
Because my life is fucking distressing
She said
And so, therefore’s, my art
Thinking Out Loud (Bonus Post)
I watch you from
Across the room
And see your face fill
With dread
If only you
Could see what I do
And quiet that voice
Inside your head
Internal Monologue
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
Just cheer up,
you miserable cunt
Your wallowing
is excruciating
And your self
pity an affront
(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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