Category: Coping

DIY

I wish
I could
sleep

But I
simply
can’t
relax

I just don’t
have the
strength
to keep

Painting
over the
cracks

6

Inferno

I’ve been here before

I know this place so well

Seems I’ll never get up to heaven

From this far down in hell

7

GameFace

All I do is let
people down

They want
me to smile

But I can
only frown

For I no longer
have the energy

To be the person
they want me to be

10

Poison

What
once
runneth
over

Is
now
empty

What
once
was
painless

Now
there’s
plenty

0

Doomed

Nothing
ever
seems
to work
out for
me

Perhaps
I’m
just
destined
to be
unhappy

To
forever
wander
around
wanting
more

Never
quite
accepting
I’m
already
done for

5

Sick Of It All

I feel
so small
my skin
crawls
with the
itch of a
thousand
years
eyes
bawl
from the
pain
while
all the
time you
laugh
from
behind
the wall
ready to
hurl
your
next
curveball
my way

6

In My Eyes

No one
sees
me as
anything
more

Than a
sad and
lonely
depressed
old bore

A pathetic
waste of
space for
sure

Just
another
nuisance
to ignore

8

The Asylum

I don’t
think
there’s
a way
out

I don’t
even
know
how I
got in

Perhaps
I should
just
scream
and shout

And
wait
for the
voices
to begin

1

The Pits

Darkness
swirls
inside
the pit of
emptiness
as it
screams
and
sprawls
around
me

Perhaps
I should
take
heart
now
that the
pit of
loneliness
is
behind
me

8

Happy Pills

I think
we’ll
increase
your dose,

She
said,

To stop
you
feeling so
morose.

I’ll
easily
give it
a try,

I
said,

But I’m
pretty sure
the end
is nigh.

3

The Blood Red Moon

Wide
awake
night
after
night
screaming
at the
ghostly
twilight
trying
with all
of my
might
to summon
the courage
to continue
the fight

 

11

Wonderland

It’s nice
to think
I matter

That what
I feel is
shared

But really
I’m as mad
as a hatter

Surely no one
else is this
impaired?

0

For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would just
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

6

Down

I can’t
do anything
any more

All I do
is sit
and stare

Questioning
myself all
the time

Moaning
how life
isn’t fair

In truth
I actually
bore myself

So fuck
knows why
you care

10

Prey

The
wolves
are on
their
hunt
again

I can
hear
them
whine
and
howl

They
are
already
stalking
me I
know

As
you’ve
told
them
where
to prowl

0

Acceptance

I
asked
the
doctor

When
will the
tablets
work?

When do
they take
away my
hurt?

Nothing
will
do that,
she said

Tablets
only
make it
easier to
get out
of bed

I
asked
the
doctor

Are
you
sure?

Won’t
you do
something
more?

There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said

You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead

12

Moods

Ups and downs,

Peaks and troughs,

But the darkness?

That never stops…

7

The Self Pity Party

So many nights I’ve cried,

Feeling dead inside,

Whilst wrestling with my neurosis.

I can’t help but discern,

Despite all your supposed care and concern,

That you haven’t even noticed.

8

Side Effects

If I
clench
my jaw,
anymore,
my teeth
will
crumble
to dust.

It’s so
unfair,
that for
my own
welfare,
these
tablets
are a must.

5

Car Trouble

Nothing makes this better

Everything makes it worse

A body straining in first gear

And a mind stuck in reverse

22

Hidden

There’s
so much
of me

You
never
see

So many
things
I do

That are
hidden
from view

I know you
won’t believe
it’s true

But it’s
my way of
protecting you

16

Forty Winks

Why do
I bother
coming
to bed

It’s not
like I
can
sleep

All I
do is
fucking
lie here

Overthinking
and
counting
sheep

0

Run Like The Wind

After
every
high

There is
the inevitable
low

And she’s coming
for me again,
I know

I feel her
getting closer
and closer each day

And this time
she’s going
to make me pay

2

Yes Sir, No Sir

Okay,
okay,
I accept
defeat.

I’ll get up,
get dressed,
drink tea,
eat.

I’ll take
the pills
you say
I need.

I’ll be a
good girl
like we
agreed.

9

Disneyland

So it’s
off to
the land
of no
return

Where
shadows
loom and
nightmares
burn

Where
evil
rules and
darkness
creeps

Where
lost souls
lurk and
happiness
sleeps

22

The Black Dog

When I heard
the black dog
barking outside

I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide

When I heard
the black dog
at my door

I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore

Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder

All I feel
is relief
that it’s over

5

Sleep Is Futile

What’s the
point in
going to bed

With all
this shit
inside my head

It’s not
like I’ll be
allowed to rest

With this
sickness deep
inside my chest

4

Sham(e)

I got
bored of
this shit
a long
time ago

These
endless
tales of
sadness
and woe

With eyes
that burn
from the
tears that
flow

I loathe
myself
more than
you’ll
ever know

11

Hand Luggage

This weight
is too heavy

Its burden
is too great

Yet I struggle
on regardless

Resigned
to my fate

0

Careless

Waking up to find that,
once again,
I’ve lost my mind
at some point
during the night…

0

No Air

It’s too hot to think
as I sit here on the brink
of yet another nervous breakdown…

4

I Already Know

I already
know I’m
a piece
of shit

I don’t
need you
to remind
me of it

I already
know I’m
a bitter
old crone

I don’t need
you pointing
out that I’ll
forever be alone

I already
know my
cuts are
too deep

I don’t
need you
to watch
them weep

I already
know that
I’m dead
inside

I don’t need
you telling me
there’s nowhere
left to hide

4

Wednesday 11am (Pt 2)

So I managed,
in the end,
to get out of bed

And it’s been a
shitty day so far,
just as I said

So I was right,
I should never
have tried

For I’ll never
escape this
pain inside

5

Wednesday 2.30am (Pt 1)

I can’t even
bear the thought
of what’s to
come tomorrow

No doubt
it’ll just
be more misery
and sorrow

Perhaps I’d
be better
off staying
in bed

Then I might
just escape
these thoughts
in my head

3

Down By The River

It’s so peaceful here.

Quiet. Serene.

If only the incessant chatter in my head would quieten down,

I might just be able to enjoy it.

0

Apologies

I’m sorry I act like I don’t care,

I’m sorry it seems like I’m rarely there.

I’m sorry it looks like I don’t even try,

I’m sorry that you’ve never see me cry.

I’m sorry I never appear in a hurry,

I’m sorry I always make you worry.

I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be.

But most of all I’m just sorry for being me.

4

The Reverse

I’ve never felt happiness,
I don’t know what it is.

I’ve never seen happiness
But I’m sure that it’s not this.

0

Night Terrors (Part 1)

I sense you,
stalking me from behind.
I won’t let you win.

I see you,
prowling outside my window.
I won’t let you in.

I hear you,
scratching at my door.
I won’t let you win.

I feel you,
gnawing on my bones.
How did you get in?

0

Living with Hypochondria

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

I get headaches. 
Crushing, pounding headaches.
Cannot finish cigarettes, 
because of the headaches.

I'm always itching,
Skin crawling.
Can't stay in one position for too long,
 as my bones ache.
Sickness burns in my stomach,
constantly queasy.
My sleep patterns are disturbed.

I have bruises on my arms and legs, 
Lumps and bumps everywhere.
I feel dizzy all the time, 
Stumbling when I walk. 
I cannot concentrate my mind.
My own wheeze wakes me up. 

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

But there's no way I can see a doctor. 
I'm too scared for that.
They might just confirm I'm really ill,
after all...

6

Insanity

Upon making the journey,
to the furthest corners
of my mind,
it occurs to me.

What if I can’t remember
the way back?

0

Out

The days march on,
But I trail behind.
Out of step,
Out of place,
Out of time.
0

Travel

It doesn’t matter where in the world you go.

How beautiful the country you visit,

How fascinating the people you meet,

How much booze you drink.

You can’t run away from your thoughts.

You might have a different view from your window but your soul will remain as black as the night sky and, beneath it all, you’ll still be the same fuck up you always were.

Travel solves nothing.

0

Alphabet Heart

Atrophied. Abandoned.
Bleak. Barren.
Crumpled. Cracked.
Dark. Dank.
Embittered. Enraged.
Failed. Forgotten.
Garotted. Gutted.
Hateful. Haunted.
Indignant. Idle.
Jagged. Jaded.
Knocked. Knotted.
Longing. Lost.
Maudlin. Morose.
Nightmarish. Numb.
Obstructed. Obliterated.
Paralysed. Prone.
Quiet. Queasy.
Rotten. Ravaged.
Stolen. Shattered.
Traumatised. Tainted.
Unloveable. Undone.
Violated. Vanquished.
Weeping. Wasted.
Xxx
Yearning. Yawning.
Zero.
0

The Meaning of Life

Half laughing at some shit joke

Badly told by some prick you can't stand

One eye trained on the nearest exit

But too scared to take your hand

And run

 

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