Category: Him

Dragging It Out

Another hour

Another day

Wishing I didn’t

Feel this way

Another second

Another minute

Life sure is shit

Without you in it

Xxx

3

The Endless Search

If I could turn

Back the clock

I’d say yes

To that walk

If only the sands

Of time would stop

I’d stay awhile

And talk

But for a return

Through time and space

There is no point

In wishing

If wherever I’d go

Whatever the place

You will still

Be missing

Xxx

10

Saturday

It wasn’t written 

In the stars

Or foretold through 

Your wanky cards 

It was just by chance 

We met that day 

And I wouldn’t have had it 

Any other way

Xxx

4

Caught Sleeping

I knew as soon

As we touched

All wasn’t

What it seemed

Yet it still hurt

My heart

When I woke

With a start

To realise

It was a dream

0

I Miss That More Than Anything

I remember

Driving to see you

In the middle

Of the night

I didn’t want

To talk

I just needed

To feel your might

Because I knew

When you kissed me

You’d wrap your arms

Around me tight

And that you

Would be the one

To make everything

Alright

Xxx

4

An Audience Of One

I write a bit

Now you know

Nothing special

Or much to show

But just enough

To get me though

And show how much

I still miss you

0

Our Spot

You took my hand

As we crossed the sand

And I knew then

What I still know now

That’s why I come back here

Every year

To talk to you again

Out loud

0

Night Nurse

With medications

To administer

And all those wounds

To dress

I think I said

Goodbye to you

Before you even left

Xxx

2

Taken Unawares

I stand at the window

Waiting to see you get off

But the bus whistles past

Without needing to stop

Because, of course,

You never got on

As I remember, with force,

That you are gone

Xxx

2

Kismet

I took the fact

He listened

As you sending me

A sign

So wherever you are

I hope you know

Your best friend

Is now mine

Xxx

The Soirée

It
was
exactly

One
year
ago

That
we all
sat in
that
tent

But
there
was
only
one

Who
truly
heard

My
broken
hearted
lament

From
that
day

We’ve
kept
in touch

Forging a
connection
of our
own

And
that’s
because

You
chose
us

To
reap
what
you
had
sown

(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)

2

Joyeux Anniversaire

It’s taken me by surprise

This year

As I thought I’d be OK

Yet I feel utterly desolate

Lying here

Washing my tears away

Xxx

What Should Have Been

Twenty two years

Just me and you

Sitting on the sofa

With wine and food

But it’s not to be

As you’re three years gone

So any romance today

Just feels wrong

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)

2

Every Rose Has It’s Thorns

There is a tendency

When your partner dies

If thinking back

To romanticise

Every little thing

They ever did or said

To remember nothing wrong

In the years you were wed

But as time rolls by you realise

This wasn’t always the case

And putting them on that pedestal

Is just your grief misplaced

It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them

Or that their death isn’t terrible

But to acknowledge their flaws

Is important because

It makes your life slightly

More bearable

Xxx

Wasted Time

If I regret anything now

It’s all the arguments we had

The silent treatment I gave you

The things I did to make you mad

Now you’re no longer here

I can’t put those wrong things right

And I have no choice but to live with that

For the rest of my fucking life

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

8

Trust Me

Hold your partner

Close today

Show them your love

In every way

Because when all this

Is said and done

You’ll fucking miss them

When they’re gone

Xxx

‘Wishing I Was Lucky’

Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely

As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

2

Traumatising

There are things

About that day

That out loud

I’ll never say

It’s bad enough

They’re in my head

I don’t need

To hear them said

Pulling The Plug

You did
it on
purpose,
didn’t
you?

Don’t
worry,
it
didn’t
show.

But
I knew
you
had
decided

It
was
time
for you
to go.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)

0

It Doesn’t Take Much

My heart aches just

That little bit more

As I read this

With a sigh

Remembering the time

With your hand in mine

Crying

We said goodbye

Xxx

‘Everything Must Go’

Don’t
say
anything
else

He
said

Please,
just
hold
my
hand

I’ll
stay
until
we
reach

She
said

Our
line in
the
sand

(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)

2

Defiant

It may have been me

Who was the one

That was strong enough

For two

But the person I was

The most proud of

In the end

Was you

Xxx

With Me

Your
words
tattooed
on my
brain

Forever

A reminder
of facing
that
pain

Together

(Originally Posted 18.01.2020)

0

Ethereal

To this day

He finds a way

To let me know

He’s near

True to his word

He makes sure

He’s heard

And his presence

Crystal clear

Xxx

Comforting

I don’t know what I’ll do

She said

When it’s time for you to go

You may never see me again

He said

But when I’m next to you

You’ll know

(Originally Posted 13.01.2021)

4

Just Watching TV

There’s no point explaining

What this one means

As I’d never get it right

But suffice it to say

I was blown away

By how I felt that night

Xxx

Big Star

The coincidence

Inexplicable

The evidence

Inadmissible

But I know it’s you

Xxx

(Originally Posted 13.01.2022)

0

Jusqu’à La Fin

I still loved you

Down to your bones

Even without

Those dulcet tones

Xxx

Robbed

I wish
you
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever

The
voice
of my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

0

‘the weirdness flows between us’

The worst is in the office

With the radio on

And no-one bats an eyelid

When they play our favourite song

Xxx

Name That Tune

People play
those songs

With no notion
of this pain

No idea that
when I hear them

My heart bleeds
for you again

(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)

0

Super Human

The extent of your brilliance

They never could see

But you were always more

Than just a man to me

Xxx

Afterlife

You still
save me
in so
many ways

Even
from
beyond
the grave

(Originally Posted 15.12.2019)

0

Letting You Go

I really did love you, you know

I wish I’d told you so before

And now you’re gone

Nothing can be done

But to regret it

Forevermore

Xxx

(Originally Posted 02.12.2021)

0

Ain’t Life Grand

We
only
really
reached
halfway

When
you
went
and
died
on me

Now
what
was
once
bright
is grey

As
I deal
with
life’s
debris

(Originally Posted 02.12.2020)

4

The View

Waves crash,
As memories smash,
Against the walls of my heart.

That we were once here,
Full of youthful cheer,
Just tears my soul apart.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 02.12.2019)

0

Once Upon A Time

Another
day passes

And I
miss you
like mad

As through
rose tinted
glasses

I remember
what we had

Xxx

(Originally Posted 02.12.2019)

4

The Death Of Me

The Death Of Me

Nearly twenty years together

And what do I have to show

Just a blackened heart

Now we’re three years apart

And sadness the status quo

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.12.2021)

4

Six Years Ago

Walk down the aisle with me?

She said

The bakery aisle, that is

I thought you were being serious

He said

And my heart just skipped a beat

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.12.2021)

2

Still

Thunder rolls

Lightning strikes

As grief still cuts me

Like a knife

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.12.2020)

2

Tu Me Manques

I just wish you were still here.

That’s it.

No flowery language.

No poetic licence.

I just wish you hadn’t died.

Simple.

Xxx.

(Originally Posted 01.12.2020)

2

To The Minute

There’s nothing
else to do

There’s nothing
else to say

For my love was
lost to me forever

One year
ago today

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.12.2019)

2

Your Last Breath

I
remember
like
it
was
yesterday

All
the
doctors
had
walked
away

And
it was
just
me
and
you

Holding
hands
in
that
hospital
room

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.12.2019)

6

Solace

Where is it you’re going

He asked

To the mountains

She replied

I need the peace and quiet

She said

To get through the day he died

This Next Wee While

If you
notice
that I’ve
gone

There is
no need
to worry

Sometimes
I have
to run
away

From
situations
in a hurry

But
do not
doubt my
return

Please,
fret
ye not

I will
be back
very
soon

To
fully
reclaim
my
spot

(Originally Posted 30.11.2019)

6

To The Day

Many more moons

Have passed since then

And plenty of suns

Now too

In fact it’s been

1,458 days

That I’ve been here

Without you

Xxx

Many A Moon

As that
day draws
ever closer

The pain
cannot be
avoided

To think
it was just
a year ago

When my
whole world
imploded

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

2

Magnitude

You may well have been dead

Nearly four years to the day

Yet you still have the power

To take my breath away

Xxx

A Different Coat

I cried for
hours this
morning

I found your
notebook in
my pocket

Now I’ve
started to
read it

I don’t
know how
to stop it

(Originally Posted 19.11.2019)

10

One Decision, One Thousand Lifetimes

I’m not sure if this notion

Of there only ever being one person

For us to love is true

But what I can say for sure

Is even if there were a hundred more

I would only ever want you

Galaxies

If
I was
to
decide

To
leave
this
place

I’d
still
find
you
again

In
any
time or
space

(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)

4

House Warming

Especially now

The weather is turning

I wish our home fires

Were still burning

Slippers

I
miss
you

When
my
feet
are
cold

And
how
you

Would
always
warm
them
so

Xxx

(Originally Posted 16.09.2020)

0

There’s Always One

I’m sure that we can all recount

How we met our lovers

But some such stories

Of our former glories

Are more significant than others

Xxx

That Split Second

When I saw you
sleeping there

I couldn’t help
but stop and stare

Probably because
I was drunk too

Although nowhere
near as drunk as you

(Originally Posted 15.09.2019)

4

The Bookshop (2)

I went back into that bookshop

Just for old times sake

And although they played

A different song today

I still remembered our first date

The Bookshop (1)

I went
in there
just now

The one
I went into
with you

They were
playing
your song
on the radio

And because
you would
have smiled,
I smiled too

(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)

6

His Best Friend

We both met up again last night

And as we held each other tight

We reveled in our connection to you

Before parting in the morning hue

Your Birthday

Yesterday
we
remembered
you.

Together,
in this
city, just
us two.

We laughed,
and smoked
and drank
too much beer.

Both of us
wishing you
were still
fucking here.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)

2

Taking Back Control

I know what you did

That day

How you made sure

Your pain

Stopped

Were You Afraid Of Dying?

It
was
awful
to see
you
waste
away

Neither
of us
knowing
why

Now
my
only
hope

Is
you
are
smoking
dope

At
that
great
gig in
the
sky

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

2

Death Trumps Divorce

It doesn’t compare

It’s not the same thing

I lost the man completely

Not just my wedding ring

That Morning

You
can
try
to
imagine

But
you
can
never
know

How
much
it
tore
me
apart

When
I had
to let
him go

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

0

Letting It Out

Sometimes it is sadness

Sometimes it’s deep frustration

But mostly it’s just

That I still feel lost

In this whole fucking situation

Hold Me

Words
can
not
describe
the
hurt

As my
tears
fall
onto
your
shirt

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

2

This

I reach
for his
hand

Every
day

But
nothing
makes

The
pain
go away

That

It’s
just not
right

That you
won’t be
here when
I look
tonight

It’s
just not
fair

That I’ll
reach for
your hand
and it won’t
be there

(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)

4

#25 The Conductor

I wrote this one

On a train

Making my way

Back home again

I remember she asked me

Why it was I cried

‘Because he’s dead’

I replied

The Removal Van

All
my dreams
are dead.

All that’s left
is this room
inside my head,

Where you
once lived.

I wish
you’d move
back in.

(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)

0

‘Til Death Us Do Part

Nineteen years of ups and downs

Of keeping the wolves at bay

But looking back now

We always got through, somehow

Doing things our own way

A Living Hell

Damned am I
who has been
torn in two

Damned am I
who fell in
love with you

(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)

0

A Poor Substitute

I made one into a pillow

To keep with me in bed

But there’s no point in denying

I’ve spent many a night crying

Wishing it was you instead

Your Shirt

I still have it.

Your shirt.

I can feel it.

I can smell it.

I just wish you were still here.

Wearing it.

(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)

4

The Sadness In My Soul

I wish I could update this one

Comment on how it has aged

Yet it seems that when

I pick up the pen

It’s only my tears that fill the page

I Hope So

Sing
to me
some
more

She
said

For
your
voice
I hold
so dear

I’ll
always
sing to
you

He
said

Even
when
I’m no
longer
here

Xxx

(Originally Posted 01.09.2020)

8

Mixed Results

There are those cut out

For DIY

And those who simply are not

You were always one

Who may have had fun

But were never as good as you thought

Xxx

Precipice

Grab
onto
this

He
said

It’ll
be
okay

It’s
one
I made
myself

I’m
not so
sure

She
said

That
it’ll
be
safe

I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf

(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)

8

It’s The Little Things On A Day Like This

A card left for me

On the pillow

Flowers and a bath bomb or two

I’ll buy them myself

Again this year

As there’s no way I can get them from you

Xxx

O Unhappy Day

I never
thought
you
wouldn’t
be here
today

It’s
still
hard to
accept
that you
went away

Perhaps
you’re
still
with me
here in
spirit

I just
wish
your
presence
was more
explicit

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.08.2020)

6

Eating Dinner In Fancy Restaurants

There were quite a few before him

As I tried each one for size

But if there’s no more after him

Then I wouldn’t be surprised

Like Lightning

I remember

When
I thought
it was
you

And I
made my
feelings
plain

But
then
I met
him

And
within
seconds
I knew

I’d never
think
about
you

Again

(Originally Posted 26.07.2020)

2

Tea For Two

At that café

Drinking tea

I wished you were there

Sitting opposite me

But I soon realised

Even though we’re apart

You’ll always be with me

Inside my heart

Xxx

Royal Exchange Square

I had to come back here,

How could I not?

Because it all started here,

On that night I’ve never forgot.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 03.07.2019)

13

I Dreamt About Him Last Night

I dreamt about him last night

You know

For only the third time since he died

At least we had fun

In this one

And it was when I woke up I cried

A Heavenly Reunion

What
are
you
doing
here

He
said

I
told
you
not
to
follow

I
couldn’t
take
any
more

She
said

Life
without
you
left
me
hollow

Xxx

(Originally Posted 29.06.2020)

9

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