"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I felt that way
For a really long time
After you rounded on me
That night
But now I’ve moved on
And boy I’ve grown
So I’m stepping back
Into the light
Nyctophilia
I’m
better
alone
than in
company
Just
like I’m
happier
in the
dark
That
way
I never
have to
see anyone
Or
hear
another
disparaging
remark
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
She has long been
The target
For all of my insults
And slurs
But your fakery
Fucking disgusts me
Almost as much
As hers
Celebrity Suicide Breeds Public Dishonesty
So you can
empathise
with her
Someone
you only
saw on TV?
But when
my shit hit
the fan
You couldn’t
sympathise
with me?
Well fuck your
social media
petition
And your
boycott of
that rag
Why not look
a little closer
to home?
You
disingenuous
old hag
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
I took the fact
He listened
As you sending me
A sign
So wherever you are
I hope you know
Your best friend
Is now mine
Xxx
The Soirée
It
was
exactly
One
year
ago
That
we all
sat in
that
tent
But
there
was
only
one
Who
truly
heard
My
broken
hearted
lament
From
that
day
We’ve
kept
in touch
Forging a
connection
of our
own
And
that’s
because
You
chose
us
To
reap
what
you
had
sown
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
I’m not sure
What I was protecting here
My mind, body or soul
Either way, it seems,
I’d go to extremes
To keep whatever makes me whole
Access Denied
What I have
Is not for you
It is mine and mine alone
If you want
What I have got
Fuck off and find your own
(Originally Posted 15.02.2022)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I know Valentine’s
Was yesterday
But I still fucking hate you
No Love Lost
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I may very well
Have been a cunt
But so, my dear, have you
(Originally Posted 15.02.2021)
It’s not that I’m inconsiderate
Or incapable of being kind
But when I’m surrounded by idiots
I just have to speak my mind
Never A Truer Word (Unspoken)
“If you haven’t got anything nice to say,
Don’t say anything at all.”
*Silence*
(Originally Posted 15.02.2020)
It’s taken me by surprise
This year
As I thought I’d be OK
Yet I feel utterly desolate
Lying here
Washing my tears away
Xxx
What Should Have Been
Twenty two years
Just me and you
Sitting on the sofa
With wine and food
But it’s not to be
As you’re three years gone
So any romance today
Just feels wrong
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)
There is a tendency
When your partner dies
If thinking back
To romanticise
Every little thing
They ever did or said
To remember nothing wrong
In the years you were wed
But as time rolls by you realise
This wasn’t always the case
And putting them on that pedestal
Is just your grief misplaced
It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them
Or that their death isn’t terrible
But to acknowledge their flaws
Is important because
It makes your life slightly
More bearable
Xxx
Wasted Time
If I regret anything now
It’s all the arguments we had
The silent treatment I gave you
The things I did to make you mad
Now you’re no longer here
I can’t put those wrong things right
And I have no choice but to live with that
For the rest of my fucking life
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
Hold your partner
Close today
Show them your love
In every way
Because when all this
Is said and done
You’ll fucking miss them
When they’re gone
Xxx
‘Wishing I Was Lucky’
Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely
As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
When you only have a little
A little can mean a lot
So even living off a trickle
Feels like winning the jackpot
Hostages
I
can’t
let
go
You’re
all
I’ve
got
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
I have so much to offer
He said
As well as this body of mine
I don’t need anything else
She said
So just the sex is fine
Whirlpools
When
I look
deep
Into
your
eyes
I must
admit
I’m
pleasantly
surprised
As
I actually
feel
Something
down
below
Which
I thought
I’d lost
Years
ago
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
Just keep taking the pills
He said
And they’ll eventually quieten
the voices
I suppose I can persevere
She said
Through a lack of any
other choices
‘It’s Nice To Be A Lunatic…’
Am I over
tired
Or am I just
plain sad
Am I far
too wired
Or simply
going mad
Does it
really matter
For I think
we can deduct
That as I can’t
stop this chatter
Either way,
I’m fucked
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
At least when it all
Happened to me
I had what I’d call
The luxury
Of only having myself
To pull through this shit
And not have any kids
To help cope with it
Inconceivable
Mind
racing
Legs
pacing
Sheer
disbelief
At what
you’re
facing
(Originally Posted 12.02.2020)
The urge to bow out
With a bang
Has been never fucking ending
So let’s wait and see
Whether, tomorrow, said spree
Will be a killing or spending
The Spree
I’m
leaving
first
thing
in the
morning
And I’m
unsure
if I’ll
return
For I
have
so
many
scores
to settle
And a
shitload
of bridges
to burn
(Originally Posted 11.02.2020)
“There shouldn’t be this radio silence
But what are the options?”
“You cannot stir things apart”
– Thomasina
Sometimes I read these and wonder
With all my insults and barbs
If I really have missed my calling
Writing alternative greetings cards
Black Letter Days
Are
you
sure
we’re
done
here
He
said
You’ve
got
nothing
more to
say?
Other
than
shove
those
candles
up your
arse
She
said
Oh, and
happy
birthday!
(Originally Posted 10.02.2021)
I wouldn’t expect you
To understand
Your skin acts
As a protective layer
But mine is a seal
To be broken
For discharging misery
And despair
Scenes Some Viewers May Find Upsetting
It’s
not
self harming
It’s
self
soothing
(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)
With the cost of living rising
And my prospects going down
It may well be time
For me to leave
This tired old humdrum town
Overdrawn
Another
day
Another
dollar
Fuck
knows why
We even
bother
(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)
It’s not that I have
A heart of stone
I just don’t have one
At all…
The Driest Of Wells
Sometimes I wish
That I cared
About everything
You said
But as I have
Already declared
I’ve no tears left
To shed
(Originally Posted 09.02.2021)
On those days
When I feel depressed
And I can’t carry on
Or hope for the best
I know to avoid
The great outdoors
As they’d end up scraping me
Off the floor
You Have Been Warned
I’m
too
scared
to go
out
today
For
the
dark
thoughts
haven’t
gone away
I’m
worried
I’m so
far into
this
slump
That
I may
well
just
decide
to
jump
(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)
There are things
About that day
That out loud
I’ll never say
It’s bad enough
They’re in my head
I don’t need
To hear them said
Pulling The Plug
You did
it on
purpose,
didn’t
you?
Don’t
worry,
it
didn’t
show.
But
I knew
you
had
decided
It
was
time
for you
to go.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)
I don’t think
I’m entirely blameless
I’m not that
Self absorbed
Or shameless
But it wasn’t my doing
Nor was it my fault
That things came to such
To an abrupt halt
I said some things
That were unkind
But in my defence
I had lost my mind
Whereas her behaviour
Had no justification
She practically revelled
In my flagellation
So when it comes
To my ‘tirades’
At least it’s with words
And not razor blades
The Tirade
Don’t stop me now
I’m on a roll
Saying my piece
Letting this shit go
It was you who did this to us
You see
You’re the arsehole here
Not me
(Originally Posted 08.02.2022)
Do you think we could be intimate
He said
Without you drinking wine first
I doubt it very much
She said
As you’re not enough to quench my thirst
Legless
Play that song
one more time
She
said
And pour me
another drink
I want to
feel it all
She
said
But without me
having to think
(Originally Posted 08.02.2020)
You won’t find me
In the kitchen at parties
I’ll be in the library
Where my mind is
Lost in my own little world
Of infinite story books
And far, far away
From your disapproving looks
Bookworms
Solace
comes
swiftly
to
those
who
read
For
those
who
devour
words
are
freed
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
It’s too long a story
To explain why
But I’ll stand by this
Until the day I die
Toxic
Blood
isn’t
thicker
Than
happiness
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
Have faith
In the afterlife
They say
Even just
A little bit
But if all there is
Is coming back to this
Then ‘they’
Can fucking stick it
Over And Over Again
It was always pretty reckless
And possibly quite mad
But I have fallen for you
Over and over again
In each lifetime I’ve had
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.02.2022)
My heart aches just
That little bit more
As I read this
With a sigh
Remembering the time
With your hand in mine
Crying
We said goodbye
Xxx
‘Everything Must Go’
Don’t
say
anything
else
He
said
Please,
just
hold
my
hand
I’ll
stay
until
we
reach
She
said
Our
line in
the
sand
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
Looking at the others
She said
I really think we have a shot
Then we’d better pack our jumpers
He said
As where we’re headed won’t be hot
Dante’s Board Meeting
So
who
do we
have
next
He
said
To
endure
this
pain
and
sorrow
We
don’t
really
know
She
said
Until
the
vote
tomorrow
(Originally Posted 06.02.2020)
Nothing makes you
Feel more alive
Than the sound
Of a lovers verse
But nothing will ever
Hurt you more
Than the sting
Of a lovers curse
Love(less)
I
really
do
love
you
She
said
But I
don’t
like
you
very
much
Your
words
leave
me
reeling
She
said
And
feeling
cold
to the
touch
(Originally Posted 06.02.2020)
It may not
Have been a dream
But it certainly was
A trick
As he left her so cruelly
She knew well and truly
He was a complete
And utter dick
When Love Runs Smoothly
Is
this
really
true
She
said
Are
you
sure
this
isn’t a
dream
I
promise
with
all my
heart
He
said
Some
things
really
are
what
they
seem
(Originally Posted 06.02.2020)
Truth is
I’m getting older
I just wish
It was wiser too
Perhaps with that
Would come the ability
To find
A little stability
And I’d maybe make it
All the way through
The Spiral
It feels like
every day I fall
A little further
down the hole
Losing just
a wee bit more
Of my body,
mind and soul
(Originally Posted 05.02.2020)
I’ll never be
The bigger person
I won’t take
The higher moral ground
As I know for a fact
Any contrition is an act
And so my rationale is sound
Not Then / Not Now / Not Ever
What will we do when this feud ends?
Just sit around and all be friends?
Forget the hatred and bile that’s been spilled,
And hope our relationships we can rebuild?
Well it’s not for me,
You can count me out.
Of that there can be absolutely no doubt.
Because I will hold onto this grudge forever.
And I want nothing to do with you whatsoever.
(Originally Posted 04.02.2020)
You’d love to think
You’re in my head
Day in and
Day out
But the truth is
For last few years
It’s been so easy
To block you out
My Truth
I wish
I could
say I was
sorry
I wish
I could
say that
I care
But
I’m
actually
not
And
I really
don’t
So to
lie
would
be unfair
(Originally Posted 04.02.2020)
‘I guess I should have let you win…’
‘“In my world, I am constantly torn between killing myself or everyone around me.”
– Ragnar
Thankfully
I made the decision
To live without
Your endless derision
Before any more of my time
Was wasted
Poisonous Bitch
We
only
get
one
life
She
said
And
it’s
far
too
short
To
spend
with
you
(Originally Posted 03.02.2020)
I can’t seem to shake the feeling
He said
That you’re just trying to lure me in
But all I do is sing songs
She said
With wickedly flirtatious grin
Windows To The Soul
I
stare
into
your
eyes
He
said
And
wonder
what’s
buried
so deep
Songs
to
make
you
smile
She
said
With
words
to
make
you
weep
(Originally Posted 03.02.2020)
I know this comes off
As pretty strong
And there are many out there
Who’ll say I’m wrong
That I’ll wake up one day
And see the light
But with my godless life
I’m more than alright
All Religion Is A Cult
I see
you
standing
up there
Before
those
huge
stained
glasses
Spouting
out
your
scripture
Designed
to
terrify
the
masses
You
may
well
fool
some
people
Maybe
the ill
or weak
of mind
But
I’ll be
free
of you
one day
Leaving
the
bullshit
you
preach
behind
(Originally Posted 03.02.2020)
How much would it cost
He said
For everything combined
You might pay me for my body
She said
But you could never buy my mind
Money Talks
Don’t just fucking humour me
She said
Listen to what I’m saying
But my job is to indulge you
He said
Isn’t that why you’re paying?
(Originally Posted 02.02.2021)
Don’t
Underestimate
Those who
Are damaged
As we’ll
Always find
A way
To manage
Stand Well Back
I’ve
never
thought
of myself
as strong
But I
suppose
I have
stuck
it out
this
long
Although
somewhat
broken,
bloodied
and
bruised
I’m
very
much
still
here
to light
the fuse
(Originally Posted 02.02.2020)
We put so much faith
In the words we use
When they’re so open
To misinterpretation
We quite often think
We all mean the same thing
When it’s actually just down
To perception
Meaningless
I
really
do love
you
She
said
I love
you
with
all my
heart
But
you
also
love
tomato
sauce
He
said
So
this
whole
thing’s
just a
farce
(Originally Posted 02.02.2020)
I saw you just
Sitting there
All alone
And looking scared
So I thought
I’d offer
A kind word or two
In the hope
You might stop
Feeling so blue
A Forgone Conclusion
It’s
very
nice of
you to
be kind
But
please,
don’t
pay me
any mind
For
I am
now
a cause
that’s
lost
As
onto
the
pyre my
heart’s
been
tossed
(Originally Posted 01.02.2020)
Complicated relationships
May be all I’ve ever known
Yet it seems the baggage
That you come along with
By far outweighs my own
Tussle
I don’t want to just be friends
I don’t want to let this go
You may be able to walk away
But this is all I know
(Originally Posted 01.02.2021)
Oh don’t get me wrong
Their tears will throng
As they stand forlornly
At your grave
But I’ll certainly know
That it’s all for show
As it’s just their face
They’re trying to save
Daughters
I am
so glad
You’re
not here
To
see
What
they’ve
become
Both
bitter and
twisted
Individuals
Who’ve
lost the
love
You
taught
them
(Originally Posted 01.02.2020)
If I were to take
One as prescribed
No doubt I’d feel
The same inside
If I were to take
Two or three
I could cope
Quite easily
If I were to take
Four or five
I’d most likely still
Make it out alive
If I were to take
Six or seven
I’d start knocking on
The door of heaven
If I were to take
Eight or nine
I’d be pretty close
To the finish line
But if I were
To take ten
I’d make sure you never
Saw me again
Dosage Instructions
Please
give me
another
pill to
swallow
For I
don’t
want to
wake up
tomorrow
(Originally Posted 31.01.2020)
If we speak to them
With smiles on our faces
There’s no chance we’ll get back
Into their good graces
We need to show them
Our regrets are huge
Even if that’s only
Half of the truth
Remorse
As we
return
to face
the music
Remember,
this is
no time
for hubris
(Originally Posted 31.01.2020)
You need to get out more
She said
Get yourself back on the market
There’s no point in either
She said
As I doubt I’d be anyone’s target
Overlooked
What do you think
It would it take
For you
To notice me
Should I wear
A skimpy dress
Paint my lips
So readily?
Well all I have
Is my words
So I guess
That counts me out
As there’s nothing at all
About them
That suggests
I’d like to hangout
(Originally Posted 30.01.2021)
I envy those people
Who are not deep thinkers
Who never peek out
From behind their blinkers
They all must live
Such carefree lives
Whilst I toil away
Hiding the knives
Stood At The Urinal
Do you
ever
think
there’s
more to
life
than
this?
Fuck
knows
mate,
to be
honest,
I only
came in
for a piss
(Originally Posted 30.01.2020)
Most days I do
Enjoy my work
And I welcome
The distraction
But as time goes by
It’s getting harder to try
And fake a positive reaction
(Anti) Social Work
I
think
I would
be
So
much
more
forgiving
If
I didn’t
have
To
work
for a
living
(Originally Posted 30.01.2020)
Don’t try to sweet talk me
She said
I’ve met your type before
Just come a little closer
He said
And we’ll see who’s the bore
Once Bitten
I’ve dreamt of you before
She said
And I didn’t fall for you then
Well I’m here in real life now
He said
So let me try again
(Originally Posted 29.01.2021)
If only I’d have listened
To people back in the day
Everyone who told me
This would end in disarray
Then I wouldn’t ever have known
Such misery and dismay
But I’d never have felt love either
And for that I was willing to pay
Mum Knows Best
Why
didn’t
you
follow
your
dreams?
She
said
Using
your
good
humour
and wit
Now
you’ve
got no
choice
She
said
But
to put
up with
his
bullshit
(Originally Posted 29.01.2020)
You’ve thought about a book
He said
For quite a number of years
You’ve got to find a way
He said
To let go of your fears
I feel more confident now
She said
That it is something I could do
But really what still bothers me
She said
Is which name I should use
Self Help
Why
do you
write
these
poems
He
said
If
you’re
not
going
to show
everyone?
Because
these
words
are
my life
She
said
They
are
not
for
just
anyone
(Originally Posted 29.01.2020)
I don’t know why
I was spared that day
And he was taken
Instead
But my life
Is hell without him
So I’d still
Be better off dead
Hindsight
If I
could
go back
to that
night
Knowing
what
I now
know
I would
hold you
in my
arms so
tight
And
never
let
you
go
Xxx
(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)
We don’t have to do it all
He said
We can meet up another day
I need to do it now
She said
Just to get it out of the way
The Trial
You don’t
have to
prove
anything
He said
Least
of all
to me
But I
need to
prove it
to myself
She said
Otherwise
I’ll never
be free
(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)
At least you
Can look away
When the misery
Ensues
But these aren’t just
Words to me
They are actually
My issues
Well, You Asked…
Although
I find
your
writing
talent
genuinely
quite
considerable
Reading
your
words
over
again
really
does just
make me
miserable
(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)
‘I was sick and tired of everything
When I called you last night from Glasgow’
“People say they love you, but what they mean is they love how loving you makes them feel about themselves”
– Eli
Suffice it to say
If I had my way
There’d be no fucking risk assessment
I don’t need protecting
Despite your objecting
As in life I have no investment
999
God
knows
why I
didn’t
wake up
dead
Or why
I didn’t
think
to plan
this far
ahead
(Originally Posted 27.01.2020)
As much as I love
That you read my words
And you praise them
Like you do
You have to know
As I deliver each blow
That I write more for me
Than you
Hecklers
Has
anyone
ever
told
you to
stop
He
said
With
these
bullshit
rhymes
you
spew
Oh
many,
many
times
She
said
And
I told
them
to piss
off
too
(Originally Posted 27.01.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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