The Romance Of It All

No matter how

I try to improve

Or alter my behaviour

It seems I’m destined

To forever seek

The beauty in my failure

In Vain

Each
time
I try

I always
seem
to fail

Spectacularly

(Originally Posted 05.01.2020)

2

Viewpoint

All these years

I’ve been writing

Calling you each

And every name

But perhaps I’ve been mean

Because it’s actually been

My attempt

To shift the blame

Who Gives A Shit

Have
I done

The
wrong
thing
again?

I
suppose
only
time

Will
tell

Until
then
I’ll try

To keep
myself
sane

While
I prepare

To
burn
in hell

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

0

Minutiae

You think that when

Someone dies

It’s the big things

That you’ll miss

But what causes pain

To grieving brain

Is missing the small things

That they did

Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day

I can’t
even
change

The time
on the
oven

It’s just
one more
thing

I have
discovered

Since
you’ve
gone

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

2

Hush

What we did in that room

Despite our gloom

Certainly served its purpose

Now all those things we said

Lying in that bed

Need never again resurface

Unobtainable

Maybe one day we’ll meet again

And maybe one day we won’t

But one things for sure

It won’t be for much more

Than either of us had hoped

(Originally Posted 04.01.2021)

2

Debilitating

That really does sound lovely

She said

But I can’t come out to play

Depression wins again

She said

Much to my dismay

An Illicit Kiss

I can’t
think of
anything
more
exciting

Than
sitting
under
subdued
lighting

With
your
lips
pressed
to mine

That
feeling,
divine

Now
doesn’t
that
sound
inviting?

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

4

Living On The Edge

All those years

Spent with you

Silently

Being driven mad

But there’s no denying

(So it’s pointless trying)

That they were the best

I’ve ever had

Taking Things For Granted

I always
thought
being
with you
was hell

Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse

Xxx

(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)

2

Jusqu’à La Fin

I still loved you

Down to your bones

Even without

Those dulcet tones

Xxx

Robbed

I wish
you
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever

The
voice
of my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

0

Turning Night Into Day

Sleep at 3pm

No problem

But at 3am

Not a chance

What the fuck

Is wrong

With me

That sleep

At night

Just won’t

Advance

The Insomniac’s Paradox

Why should I bother
Going to bed
When there’s nothing
To wake up for

Why should I bother
Waking up
When I enjoy sleeping
So much more

(Originally Posted 03.01.2021)

12

Missing The Bus

It seems I missed

The trip that day

You went

To the optimism farm

I was probably at home

With an ‘on silent’ phone

Sleeping soundly

Through the alarm

Optimism

If I
had
any
spare

I’d
give
some
to you

But
I only
have
enough

To
get
myself
through

This
bullshit
they call
life

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

0

Getting By

I know you put

A brave face on

I know as I did it

Myself

Not just because

You’re thinking of others

But more to protect

Yourself

Are You Okay?

I want to ask

But I’m far too scared

For I already know

As into those depths

I’ve stared

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

4

…In With The New

Who cares if I stayed in bed all day

Watching The World’s Strongest Man

I did it because I enjoy it

I did it because I can

Out With The Old…

At least yesterday

I missed your feast

It was always the part

I liked the least

Faking a smile

Whilst passing the peas

Thank fuck that now

I can eat in peace

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

6

On The Safe Side

Your question may have been rhetorical

She said

But I fear that you’ve angered fate

So you’d better take it back

She said

Before it proves to be too late

Shit Show

It
can’t
get
much
worse,
can it?

He
said

Than
the
year
that
has
just
passed

Well
you’ve
fucking
jinxed
it
now

She
said

That
you’ve
gone
and
bloody
asked!

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

0

Silence

It’s funny to see

How a younger me

Struggled with her

Own company

Yet now I love

To live that way

On New Year’s Eve

Or any other day

For Whom The Bell Tolls

I’m not ashamed
to admit

I shed a tear or
two last night

As the clock
struck twelve

It was all
a bit shit

Sitting here
by myself

(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)

2

Stalled

We’ve reached that time

In our run

Where things are beginning

To come undone

Words once so profound

Are now old and cruddy

Our parts played mostly

By the understudy

It’s such a shame

To see it end this way

And that soon our house

Will stage a different play

Theatrics

Of the love

I feel for you

I have never been

More certain

So much so

It is now time

To drop

The safety curtain

So then we can

With a fiery gusto

Both just get on

With performing our show

(Originally Posted 01.01.2021)

0

Inside And Out

I hope you don’t

Just mean your hair

But your personality too

For you’ve been such

A miserable cunt

Throughout 2022

A Change Is As Good As A Rest

A
new
year
begins

Bringing
with it a
new look

I really
hope you
like it

Considering
how long
it took

(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)

2

Hogmanay (Part 5)

Let’s do something

She said

Different this year

I’ve had enough

Of drinking beer

I don’t mind

He said

Whatever we do

As long as it involves

Me and you

Hogmanay (Part 3)

Time

Creeping

Mine

Sweeping

Dicks

Sleeping

Women

Weeping

Hogmanay 2020 (Part 2)

Staring into a new year

Together

Holding hands

I can’t believe

Out of everyone

It’s you who understands

Hogmanay 2020 (Part 1)

I’ll give you one day

Where the sun will shine

And that day is Friday

This week

But after that

It’ll all fall flat

And it’s back

To the future that’s bleak

(Originally Posted 31.12.2020)

2

Missing The Boat

It’ll most likely be

Like the last four

Wondering what the fuck

I stuck around for

20/20

However
will I
make it
through

Another
year
without
you?

(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)

2

Going Without

Yet
I know
I’ll
never be
absolved

For our
friendship
now is
all but
dissolved

New Year’s Eve(n)

Nothing
will
ever be
resolved

Until from
all blame,
I am
absolved

(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)

2

Random #269

There was a naughty boy
And a naughty boy was he,
He ran away to Scotland
The people for to see–
Then he found
That the ground
Was as hard,
That a yard
Was as long,
That a song
Was as merry,
That a cherry
Was as red–
That lead
Was as weighty,
That fourscore
Was as eighty,
That a door
Was as wooden
As in England–
So he stood in his shoes
And he wondered,
He wondered,
He stood in his shoes
And he wondered.

4

The Kindest Thing To Do

It’s not that I don’t want to

He said

But we have been here before

I can’t give you what you need

She said

So I won’t ask you any more

It’s Not Real

I think
I love
you

He
said

But
I cannot
wait

If you
loved
me

She
said

You
wouldn’t
hesitate

(Originally Posted 30.12.2019)

0

Getting Off Lightly

Grief affects everyone

In many different ways

Yet some among us

Prove lucky enough

To escape the daily malaise

Poles Apart

I still cry myself to sleep

Not that you’d know

You selfish creep

You think because

We all lost him

That we both feel the same

But you haven’t got

A fucking clue

Of how I live each day in pain

(Originally Posted 30.12.2020)

2

Sucked In

To be honest

I always knew

Psychopathy

Was your main trait

It’s just a shame

That I played your game

Losing out

When it was too late

Psychopathic

Looking through old photos

It’s only now I’m struck

By how much your eyes

Betray your lies

And your smile is fake as fuck

(Originally Posted 29.12.2020)

0

Needs Must

My heart

May well

Be locked

Away

But my body

Is not

So come on

Over

If you like

And let’s see

What

You’ve got

Tough Shit

You can
try it on
all you
like

But
we can
never be
together

For my
heart
belongs
to another

And it
will stay
that way
forever

(Originally Posted 29.12.2019)

0

Maybe Next Year…

I know it’s only

One year on

But I’m still quite proud

Of this

Yet if I’ve had one thought

It’s that I should’ve sought

A better word

To rhyme with Elvis

Until Next Year…

As the calendar page turns once more

We are granted our reprieve

Thank you so much Mariah

Now you can fucking leave

Take that whiny choirboy with you

And that dick who thinks he’s Elvis

Bing and Bowie can piss off too

With their ‘pa rum pum pum pum’ bullshit

We’re happy to wave you off John

Although your message is appreciated

Best take your mate Paul with you though

Before we have his keyboard castrated

It’s time to step out and away now Elton

With The Jacksons, Jonah and Chuck

And as for the ‘NYPD choir’

We couldn’t give less of a fuck

We’ll really only miss you George

Like we do nearly every day

So perhaps, this year, we could keep you

Instead of giving you away

(Originally Posted 29.12.2021)

9

Relentless

I’d love to say

That things have changed

And I no longer feel

So hopeless

But the intervening time

Since writing this rhyme

Has been equally

As atrocious

Nothing

Nothing makes
me happy

Nothing makes
me smile

There’s nothing left
to look forward to

At least nothing that
feels worthwhile

(Originally Posted 28.12.2019)

6

Obviously

He was right

As it turns out

As it only took me

A minute

To abandon the joy

I’d tried to employ

As I had reached

My limit

Whatever You Say

I’m going to be happy today

She said

And push this sadness from my mind

I’ll give you half an hour

He said

And even then that’s being kind

(Originally Posted 28.12.2021)

2

Looking On

Of course I remember

How it feels

Down to the very last letter

But it wouldn’t matter

What I tried

Nothing can make it better

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

Give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

10

Firsts

There was nothing else

That I could do

Nothing else

That I could say

Other than

To remind them all

That it’s just

Another day

Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take

Your
pain
away

Tell
you
everything

Will
be
okay

But
I know
the truth

It
doesn’t
get
better

When
what
you had

Is lost
forever

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

2

‘Meat Is Murder’

Well I hope you’ve enjoyed

Your murdered bird

I can’t think of anything

More absurd

Than to eat your friends

On Christmas Day

Proclaiming such abuse

As the Christian way

(Originally Posted 26.12.2020)

16

The Ballad Of Boxing Day

Is that it now

He said

Have the bells rung out?

As I cannot eat

Another sprout

Oh shut your face

She said

All you’ve done is moan

You’ll be spending next year

On your own

(Originally Posted 26.12.2020)

0

Random #268

Shaking cream on Christmas Day while listening to Mary of the Fourth Form by the Boomtown Rats

Playing record
my Christmas present
shaking cream
after turkey treat,
lid open, cream spills,
Dad’s jacket ruined
Dad’s temper flares
record broken
Terrible Christmas.

Dad’s Version

Turn music down
Awful hangover
Sean shake cream
I’m starving
What happened?
You’re sorry!
Jacket ruined
My Christmas present
That’ll teach you.
Terrible Christmas.

– Sean Hughes

0

Christmas Kudos

I’m neither little

Nor quite charming

In fact my words

Can be most alarming

But the friends I’ve made

In different ways

All serve to brighten

My darkest days

So thanks to you all

For reading my shit

It warms this dark heart

Just a little bit

(Originally Posted 25.12.2020)

10

Christmas Dinner

I really
can’t be
arsed
today

I’d
rather
just stay
in bed

I’m not
in the
mood

For
such
jollity

Preferring
melancholy,
instead

(Originally Posted 25.12.2019)

5

Random #267

“What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said? asked the boy.

‘Help’, said the horse.”

– Charlie Mackesy

0

Naughty Or Nice?

Only ever

Fleetingly happy

But always

Desperately sad

Forever trying

To be good

Whilst contemplating

Being bad

(Originally Posted 24.12.2019)

4

It’s Not Wonderful For Everyone

This is my favorite time of year

He said

With these scents of cinnamon and pine

As I endure the merriment of others

She said

I thank fuck for cheese and wine

(Originally Posted 24.12.2021)

2

Random #266

‘When you’re used
Bruised
Black and blued
Don’t think about it
Never doubt it

I’ll walk beside you…’

4

Blunted

This new one

Is my favourite

Of all those pills

And potions

As it leaves me feeling

Numb inside

And just going

Through the motions

Regime #7

These
pills
have
stopped
working

They
are now
simply
a token

As
they
don’t
take away
the hurting

From a
heart
that’s
truly
broken

(Originally Posted 23.12.2019)

2

“I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday”

If some of my poems

Are humorous

Albeit

A little dark

This one

Is deadly serious

And not just

A flippant remark

Hanging Around

I know it’s there

In the shed

Waiting for when

I choose death instead

(Originally Posted 23.12.2020)

2

“If You Didn’t Laugh You’d Cry”

Some people must think

My words are so bleak

That they no longer

Wish to scroll

But all I see

With poems like these

Is a humour

As black as coal

‘Mistletoe & Whine’

Just piss
off with your
Christmas shit

All this
Ho, Ho,
Fucking Ho…

Not
everyone
appreciates it

Some of us
are depressed,
you know

(Originally Posted 23.12.2019)

8

‘Blue Christmas’

It’s the time of year

Again

For that age old

Platitude

The one I’m expected

To receive

With a kindly

Gratitude

“It must be hard for you”

They say

“Especially at this time of year”

I want

To say

It’s hard

Every day

But that’s not

What they want to hear

Who The Fuck Are ‘They’ Anyway?

Time heals

Or so they say

Well, let me tell you

They fucking lie

Time does nothing

But march on

And you’re left

With no right to reply

(Originally Posted 22.12.2021)

0

Terminal

I’m not sure
Who suffers more
Those who are
Oblivious
Or those who know
What’s in store

Identity Crisis

In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you

(Originally Posted 22.12.2019)

0

Apologies To The Author

I’d obviously been reading

A lot of Stevie Smith

So much so, it seems,

That I ripped her off a bit

Strong Currents

I’m all
at sea

But no one
sees me

Gesticulating
wildly

Against
the tide

(Originally Posted 21.12.2019)

10

What A Difference Three Months Makes

Run around

Jump up and down

That arrogant prick

Has just left town

As it turns out

He was a brutish lout

Intent on flinging my heart about

Next time I’ll know

Not to lower my wall

And for romantic bullshit

I will not fall

Quickstep

Run around

Jump up and down

There’s a new love in town!

He’s really neat

And ever so sweet

This black heart skips a beat

I think that now

I’m ready for more

As I wait for him to whisk me

Across the dancefloor

(Originally Posted 21.12.2020)

0

The Final Appointment

I don’t need this, any more

I’m doing a lot better

She said

Now I just hear screaming

Once or twice a week

And only inside my head

The Circus Is Back In Town

I wish
I spent
more time
sleeping

Instead
of all
this
weeping

It would
be nice to
do some
dreaming

As
opposed
to all this
screaming

(Originally Posted 21.12.2019)

0

Best Thing I Ever Did

Full of your own

Self importance

Never short

Of a winning performance

You had vanity at your core

All those years

You implored us

Until that day

We saw your distortions

And I walked out the door

I’m Fine Thanks

I’m sorry you think I’ve missed you

As I haven’t given one fuck

If you thought you mattered

And my life is shattered

Well then, you’re shit out of luck

(Originally Posted 20.12.2021)

0

‘I’ll Never Be Anybody’s Hero Now’

I used to be

Quite kindly

Cheerful

And fresh of face

Then something happened

That kicked off a pattern

Of both misery

And disgrace

Pedestals

They say you don’t know

What you mean to people

Whom you may never see

Well all I can say

Is I hope and pray

That no one relies on me

(Originally Posted 20.12.2020)

0

A Distinct Lack Of Merriment

All those years

All those lists

When all I wanted

Was to eat and get pissed

Thoughtless

Not only is it the time of year for giving

But the time for receiving too

You’ve no idea how glad I am

There’s no more bullshit gifts from you

(Originally Posted 19.12.2020)

6

He’ll Find Out For Himself

I’ll meet him

Myself one day

When his childhood lens

Has fallen away

And I’ll explain

What happened to us

And we’ll see if you threw me

Under the bus

Vindictive Cow

I
wonder
what
you’ve
told him

Now
I’m
no
longer
there

Have
you
bothered
to tell
the truth?

Or
just
said
I no
longer
care?

(Originally Posted 19.12.2019)

2

An Unlikely Source

Not only was he handsome,

Smart and debonair

It also transpired

After he had inquired

That he was a millionaire

Currency

I’ll
give
you a
penny
for
them

He
said

Tell
me
your
ups
and
downs

You
can
put
your
coppers
away

She
said

As
to hear
those
you’ll
need
pounds

(Originally Posted 18.12.2020)

2

‘the weirdness flows between us’

The worst is in the office

With the radio on

And no-one bats an eyelid

When they play our favourite song

Xxx

Name That Tune

People play
those songs

With no notion
of this pain

No idea that
when I hear them

My heart bleeds
for you again

(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)

0

Cutting It Short

He never did

Text me back

No Facebook, Insta,

Or Whatsapp

Not that I really

Gave a shit

As it proved that he

Could never commit

The Final Fling

I hope
I’ve done
the right
thing

For as
yet, you
haven’t
replied

Perhaps
this is
finally
the end

I guess
I’ll wait
for you
to decide

(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)

2

“Winner… By A Knockout”

How funny it was to read this

It’s almost prophetic in a way

As I hadn’t actually bumped into her

When I wrote this back in the day

This was actually what I hoped I’d do

If such a meeting ever arose

How I wouldn’t even acknowledge her

If we were to be up close

I had no real way of knowing

If I was capable of such a thing

As I might’ve just ran and hid

From the sight of her shit eating grin

But as it is I needn’t have worried

As I saw her just last week

In the most utterly random encounter

That you could ever wish seek

And I did, indeed, just saunter by

Leaving her mealy mouth struck dumb

Whereas I walked away both victorious

And comfortably numb

Getting Better At Caring Less

I walked
past you
today

And didn’t
even turn
my head

I just
quietly
sauntered
by

And felt
nothing
for you
instead

(Originally Posted 17.12.2019)

7

I’m Loving Life

I hope you’re feeling

The cold up there

On what you think

Is the moral high ground

Sad, lonely

And freezing to death

While I’m down here

Safe and sound

Toy Soldiers

Did it ever occur to you

That I didn’t want you to know

What would you have done anyway

Other than used it as ammo

In this ridiculous war against me

That you felt the need to wage

Well I’m glad I never said a word

And from your battle, just disengaged

(Originally Posted 17.12.2020)

0

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