Random #216

‘I was born standing up

And talking back’

01/07/2022 10

Random #215

“We are the same, you and I – two odd, lonely children, reaching for eternity.”

– Tom Hanks (as Col. Tom Parker)

01/07/2022 12

Giving Pandora Her Box Back

How many times

Did I say this

How many times

Did I wish it were true

But now that I’m free

Indefinitely

There is no fun

Without you

Staid

Is
that
it
now

She
said

Are
we
finally
done

As
I’d
like
to go
out

She
said

And
actually
have
some
fun

(Originally Posted 01.07.2019)

01/07/2022 2

Filling A Hole

There was a period of time

After he died

When I returned to my old ways

Auditioning random men

As a replacement

All in a drunken haze

Thankfully

It didn’t last

And it proved to be just a phase

As I realised

Pretty quickly

It didn’t help with my malaise

On A Promise

What happens when the music stops

She said

Do we have to go home?

Wherever you end up going

He said

You won’t be going alone

(Originally Posted 01.07.2021)

01/07/2022 7

‘I’m Waiting For My Man’

Quite a subtle reference here

To a drug I’ve seen

But never taken

I’ve just always known

Being dependence prone

That beast never to awaken

Need(le)

I
need
you
here

Please
come
and
save
me

I
need
to
feel

The
love
you
gave
me

(Originally Posted 01.07.2020)

01/07/2022 6

‘Back To Black’

Yet as the sun came out

Last summer

The glue I’d used soon melted

So whatever I felt back then

Didn’t start a trend

Or conclude as well as projected

Out Of The Blue

I woke up with a smile

Today

All the bad feeling

Had gone away

It actually felt

Like it was the start

Of gluing back together

My broken heart

(Originally Posted 30.06.2021)

30/06/2022 2

An Outrageous Flirt

Back before

I was heart broken

And became

Such a misery

I was capable

Of having fun

Which I did,

Consistently

This is one

Of many stories

From when I was

The queen of frolicking

To think how I was then

Compared to now

Is quite simply

Astonishing

If I could roll back

The years

And talk

To a younger me

I would tell her

‘Don’t just pick one fella’

And keep living your life

Care free

A Love Quadrangle

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
one

I’ve
been
here
from
the
start

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
two

I’d
never
break
her
heart

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
three

I
see
her
playful
side

Please,
stop
arguing
boys

She
said

You
couldn’t
handle
me if
you
tried!

(Originally Posted 30.06.2020)

30/06/2022 12

I Dreamt About Him Last Night

I dreamt about him last night

You know

For only the third time since he died

At least we had fun

In this one

And it was when I woke up I cried

A Heavenly Reunion

What
are
you
doing
here

He
said

I
told
you
not
to
follow

I
couldn’t
take
any
more

She
said

Life
without
you
left
me
hollow

Xxx

(Originally Posted 29.06.2020)

29/06/2022 9

Vast

I’ve always been drawn

To water

Knowing it’s nearby

Is very relaxing

There’s been many a time

It has calmed my mind

And saved me

From fully collapsing

Down By The River

It’s so peaceful here.

Quiet. Serene.

If only the incessant chatter in my head would quieten down,

I might just be able to enjoy it.

(Originally Posted 29.06.2019)

29/06/2022 2

The Good In People

I love that you see

Something in me

And I hope one day

That I’ll see it too

But whilst I am trying

There’s no point in denying

That I’m just not as nice

As you

The Bright Side Of My Dark Heart

I’m
glad
that
you
can
see
it

As
I
don’t
have
a
clue

But
out
of
everyone

It
might
have
been

I
knew
it
would
be
you

(Originally Posted 28.06.2020)

28/06/2022 11

It’s Still Theft

You would never just take an item

If it didn’t belong to you

Just because someone

Has since died

It doesn’t make that any less true

Too Big For Your Boots

I’d rather watch them burn

Than see them in your hands

How you even think

You could ever lay claim

I will never understand

(Originally Posted 28.06.2021)

28/06/2022 8

Not Spoiling Things

Pretending I was fine

On that trip

Was just something

I needed to do

So I wiped my eyes

And stifled my cries

In the tent

Next door to you

Camping

The warmth of the sun on your face,

The anticipation of a road trip with friends,

The promise of tall tales around the campfire.

It’s the little things that bring the most joy.

(Originally Posted 28.06.2019)

28/06/2022 5

The Concequences Of Your Actions

It wouldn’t matter if you said sorry

Or tried hard to make amends

For we may always be

Family

But we’ll never again be friends

The Call That Never Comes (Not That I’d Answer If It Did)

I’m
sorry
for
what
I did

I’m
sorry
for
what
I said

I’ve
been
an
utter
arsehole

Given
that
he
is
dead

(Originally Posted 27.06.2020)

27/06/2022 3

Omnipresent

It has gotten easier

To get out of bed

But life without him

Has not

For there is little relief

From the pain of grief

And that is now my lot

Options

I am amazed, yet again, that I’ve found the courage to get out of bed.

You have no idea how hard it is.

This sustained internal struggle.

The conscious effort required to motivate myself to move.

The strength of belief needed to convince my anxious brain that we can get through the day unscathed.

It’s exhausting.

If only I could return to the naivety of the past.

Travel back to a time when sadness was mere affectation.

Where melancholy was a comforting friend.

And death wasn’t such a viable option.

(Originally Posted 27.06.2019)

27/06/2022 2

Zero Tolerance

Having been in this situation

More than once

I made sure to learn from it

So now I immediately

Draw the line

The second I smell bullshit

Distortion

You
tell
your
truth

And
I’ll
tell
mine

But
we
both
know

Who
crossed
the
line

(Originally Posted 26.06.2020)

26/06/2022 15

To Never Apologising Again

This is how

You made me feel

Pathetic, lonely

And small

It took me far too long

To realise

That this wasn’t love

At all

Apologies

I’m sorry I act like I don’t care,

I’m sorry it seems like I’m rarely there.

I’m sorry it looks like I don’t even try,

I’m sorry that you’ve never see me cry.

I’m sorry I never appear in a hurry,

I’m sorry I always make you worry.

I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be.

But most of all I’m just sorry for being me.

(Originally Posted 26.06.2019)

26/06/2022 10

Wish You Were Here

If only I could make it better

But there is no way that I can

For you have lost her forever

Just the same as I lost my man

Real Talk

It
hurts
my
heart

To
hear
you
cry

And
watch
you
break

Like
this

As
your
life

Falls
apart

And
you
stare

Into
the
abyss

(Originally Posted 25.06.2020)

25/06/2022 4

There’s Still Time

Have you thought about moving on

He said

Of starting a life with someone else

It hasn’t even crossed my mind

She said

As I’m more than happy on the shelf

It’s Not The Same Thing

Just think about

What I lost

On the day he died

Then ask yourself

If you were me

When would your tears subside?

(Originally Posted 25.06.2021)

25/06/2022 4

Random #214

‘If I saw you again I’d smile,

But I’d say don’t call me baby…’

24/06/2022 2

Random #213

“You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of he said, she said’s, and get it published…”

– Logan Huntzberger

Author’s Note:
I didn’t steal this idea.
Honestly.

24/06/2022 18

‘You Gave Me A Mountain’

I think that when

I wrote this one

I was trying

Not to be too mean

But believe you me

Nothing was easy

Back

In twenty nineteen

How Are You?

It’s easier to say I’m alright,

Rather then I’m anxious.

It’s easier to say I’m okay,

Rather than I’m outraged.

It’s easier to say I’m better,

Rather than I’m broken.

It’s easier to say I’m good,

Rather than I’m grieving.

It’s easier to say I’m well,

Rather than I’m wasted.

It’s easier to say I’m fine,

Rather than I’m fucked.

(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)

24/06/2022 2

‘I Wake Up Alone With It All…’

Remember you said

You’d love me forever

And you begged me

To let you to stay

Well I’m beginning

To wonder

If that

Was a blunder

And if I should’ve

Walked away

Happier

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

For never
having met.

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

With nothing
to regret.

(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)

24/06/2022 6

‘At The Dark End Of The Street’

As
life
continues

To slip
through
my fingers

Here
I stand,
still

As the
sadness
lingers

Tinged With Sadness

In
amongst
all of
this
madness

Here
I stand

Heart
tinged
with
sadness

(Originally Posted 24.06.2020)

24/06/2022 2

Two Sides To Every Story

Believe it or not

Despite my wroth

I am actually quite sweet

I may talk shit

In these words I spit

But in real life I’m a treat

Nom De Plume

Charmer’s the name

Misery the game

Pleased to meet you

I ain’t

I may lack flair

Writing without care

But really

I’m a saint

*winks*

(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)

23/06/2022 24

Game, Set And Match

And who did win out

In the end?

Well it wasn’t you

Was it my friend

All that effort

To leave me crushed

And yet I walked

Before I was pushed

Match Point

Please,
ignore
me
more and
more
each day.

For you’ll
only
push me
further
away.

Please,
glower
at me
more and
more
each week.

For
I won’t
always
turn
the other
cheek.

Please,
isolate me
more and
more
as time
goes on.

For we’ll
see who is
victorious,
when all is
said and done.

(Originally Posted 23.06.2019)

23/06/2022 6

‘Don’t Fear The Reaper’

You appear to me in a way

That is beyond my cognition

Emerging slowly into the light

As a ghostly apparition

I hear you whisper softly

How it is now your mission

To close the void between us

And put an end to Deaths partition

Mausoleum

In
the
graveyard

Of
my
mind

Is
where
the
memories

Of
us
reside

So
when
I’m
alone

In
the
dead
of
night

I
walk
the
tombs

Of
our
love’s
plight

(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)

23/06/2022 4

Taking The Lead

I’ve done what I can

Said the man

The rest is up to you

I will try, Brother

Said the other

But it’s not what I am used to

Taking Turns

That’s
it
now

I’ve
pulled us
through

So for
better
or worse

It’s
over
to you

(Originally Posted 22.06.2020)

22/06/2022 4

Est. 1980

When you won’t decide

One way or the other

Known colloquially

As a ‘contrary little fucker’

That’s me

Indifference

Sometimes I do
Sometimes I don’t

Sometimes I will
Sometimes I won’t

Either deal with it
Or don’t

I’m not fussed either way

(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)

22/06/2022 0

At Stonehenge

I met him on the Solstice

Many, many moons ago

There amongst the stones I thought

He looks to be in the know

So I asked him that question

The one you see below

But alas, he shook his head and said

‘I just go with the flow’

The Sage

Tell me
how
you do
it

She
said

How
do you
stay so
strong

I
don’t
really
know

He
said

I make
it up
as
I go
along

(Originally Posted 22.06.2020)

22/06/2022 2

Through The Back Door

Written back in twenty twenty

When the threat of Covid loomed large

Who knew that then

Boris was in Number 10

Knee deep in a fucking farce

‘Better Alone Than In Company’

After
84
days
of
solitude

We’ve
finally
broken
the
bubble

Yet
who
could
have
known

That
in
just
one
minute

We’d
get
into
this
much
trouble

(Originally Posted 21.06.2020)

21/06/2022 4

Highest Scorer

You know why

We ended up here, right?

It’s the only way

To resolve our fight

Now we are free

To call each other names

As we pull no punches

And sidestep the flames

On Fire

Hell
has
been
a lonely
place.

It’s
good
to see
you
down
here.

(Originally Posted 21.06.2019)

21/06/2022 4

The Failed Ultimatum

Remember when you told me

To do this / do that

And you expected

I’d dance to your tune

Well, in reality

Your words fell flat

And to your bullshit

I’m now immune

Think Again

It’s a
mistake
to tell
me what
to do.

Even
bigger
to think
I’d listen
to you.

(Originally Posted 21.06.2019)

21/06/2022 2

The Fair-weather Boss

I used to care

What he thought of me

That I did a good job

So my skills he’d see

But now he’s changed

And lost my respect

So I just take the wage

And disconnect

Diss Regard

What’s
the
point

In all
this
chatter

Now
I’ve
realised

You
don’t
matter

Anymore

(Originally Posted 20.06.2020)

20/06/2022 0

Only Traces Left

No matter how hard you strive

To keep a memory alive

They’re always forgotten

In the end

At All

I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.

I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.

(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)

20/06/2022 12

Homespun

Put lavender on your pillow

He said

Or drink some chamomile tea

I’ve tried every pill know to man

She said

So I doubt they’ll work for me

In The North

It never quite gets dark

This time of year

Which makes the sky so pretty

But when you’re already

Struggling to sleep

It is also kinda shitty

(Originally Posted 20.06.2021)

20/06/2022 2

And The Blues Continues

Five cans

Six cans

Seven cans

Eight

No point

Stopping now

It’s already

Too late

Six Pack Blues

One can

Two cans

Three cans

Four

Perhaps

I should eat

Before

I drink

Any more

(Originally Posted 19.06.2020)

19/06/2022 4

Those Halcyon Days

I lay in the bath
As you walked the path
Into the depths
Of my soul

I dropped the glass
As we came to pass
And I knew then
I was out of control

(Laws Of) Attraction

I
can no
longer
trust
myself

Whenever
I see
your
face

For I
just
want to
kiss
you

And
never
leave
your
embrace

(Originally Posted 19.06.2020)

19/06/2022 2

Us Word(Smiths)

It’s great you have a hobby

He said

Not one I share, I confess

Because writing isn’t a hobby

She said

It’s a matter of life or death

Vocabularians Of The World Unite

Vocabularians of the world unite

To put the wrongs of our world right

To give a voice to those too tired to fight

And into the darkness bring forth the light

(Originally Posted 18.06.2020)

18/06/2022 6

Like A Guinea Pig

If this one doesn’t work

He said

I can always prescribe another

If this one doesn’t work

She said

You’d better run for cover

For I have had enough

She said

Of being given pills to chew

I completely understand

He said

But there’s little else I can do

‘Not Another Day…’

Another
day

Another
pill

Will
this
one
make
me

Feel
less
ill?

(Originally Posted 18.06.2020)

18/06/2022 0

Random #212

‘You just survive soldier

And your soul is beautiful’

17/06/2022 0

Random #211

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

– Audre Lorde

17/06/2022 6

People Pleasing

I spent years people pleasing

And it wrecked my mental health

So now I don’t please anyone

Except my fucking self

I’ve Heard It All Before

Just because

What doesn’t kill me

Apparently

Makes me stronger

Doesn’t give you

An excuse

To hurt me

Any longer

(Originally Posted 17.06.2021)

17/06/2022 17

‘No one sings like you anymore…’

I don’t think

It will matter

How much time

Continues to turn

This will

Forever

Be the case

That much

I have learned

Three Score And Ten

Some
days
it feels
like
forever

Others
it feels
like a
minute

But no
matter
how
much
time has
passed

Life is
still
shit
without
you
in it

Xxx

(Originally Posted 17.06.2020)

17/06/2022 6

Gotcha!

Made me laugh out loud, this one

As it really is quite blunt

It never ceases to amaze me

How I can be such a

Con trol freak, at times

Trust Issues

Somebody
once
told
me

It will
all be
OK in
the end

Well, that
person
lied
to me

And so
is no
longer
my friend

(Originally Posted 16.06.2020)

16/06/2022 7

Hard Times Ahead

I sense more of this type coming

And to be honest

I’m a little afraid

Not only to reread them

But also to relive them

Knowing how I’m capable of such again

The Note

It was the lonliness

That got to me

If I’m honest

In the end

Sitting here

Just quietly

But all alone

Yet again

Desperately trying

But failing

My broken heart

To mend

And all the while

Convinced

That the rope

Was my only friend

(Originally Posted 16.06.2020)

16/06/2022 11

Meaning It

You can call me anytime

He said

I’ll always be here for you

I’d love it if just once

She said

You made me feel that that was true

Calling It Quits

I should have trusted you

She said

And let you through the wall

I didn’t try hard enough

He said

In fact I didn’t really try at all

(Originally Posted 15.06.2021)

15/06/2022 6

‘For Better, For Worse’

To paint us as happy

For near nineteen years

Would be way too simplistic

To say there were times

When we were far from fine

Would be much more realistic

Xxx

Sleeping On The Sofa

Too
many
times

I’ve
sat
here
and
cried

Your
slightest
touch

So
cruelly
denied

And
even
though

We
both
tried

I’ve
still
been
left

Feeling
dead
inside

Xxx

(Originally Posted 15.06.2020)

15/06/2022 7

Too Much Of A Good Thing

I should have gone with him that day

Instead of just staying in

As all I have to show

Now for saying no

Is one hell of a double chin

Better Plans

Shall we go out today

He said

Have a blast and give it our all

I’m afraid I already have a date

She said

With pizza, beer and football

(Originally Posted 14.06.2021)

14/06/2022 2

Regraded

I think I was once preoccupied

With being considered a ‘proper poet’

But I’ve since come to realise

That my style doesn’t trivialise

Life or how I choose to show it

Bottom Of The Class

I
scroll
through
your words

And
realise
mine don’t
compare

For
you all
write so
beautifully

Whereas
I splurge
without
a care

(Originally Posted 14.06.2020)

14/06/2022 22

Was It Good For You?

If
I ask
you a
question

He
said

Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?

Yes

She
lied

Does My Bum Look Big In This?

If
I ask
you a
question

She
said

Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?

Yes

He
lied

(Originally Posted 13.06.2020)

13/06/2022 18

Setting The Alarm

I remember feeling like this

Every day back then

When it would take everything I had

To get up and do it again

Although now I find it easier

With most mornings not as hard

I’d be lying if I didn’t say

Sometimes I’m still caught off guard

5am

Stomach lurching,
Bones aching,
Head pounding,
Heart breaking,

Waking up is never easy.

(Originally Posted 13.06.2019)

13/06/2022 0

Empty Handed

As
I lie
here

Alone
again

I can
only
assume

I
wasn’t

Bounty

I
can
only
hope

I’m
worth
the
wait

(Originally Posted 12.06.2020)

12/06/2022 4

Rattling

Hoping this pill proves fruitful

That it will work as designed

So I swallow another scoopful

To quiet the chaos in my mind

Five A Day

An
apple
a day
may
keep
the
doctor
away.

But
it’s a
pill
at night
that makes
me feel
alright.

(Originally Posted 12.06.2019)

12/06/2022 8

Copycat

She taught me everything I know

Both for the good and for the bad

Still, I cannot help but love her

As she’s the only mother I’ll have

Nature Vs Nurture

The
packet
cracks

As
the
tablet
snaps

And I
glug it
down
with
water

My
body
contracts

As
I face
the
facts

That
I am my
mother’s
daughter

(Originally Posted 11.06.2020)

11/06/2022 9

Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Darkest thoughts

On my darkest day

I can but hope

The worst is away

Found

Hearing
how
sad
you
would
be

Doesn’t
make
me
change
my
mind

All
it
does
is
remind
me
to
choose

A
method
that
is
kind

(Originally Posted 11.06.2020)

11/06/2022 8

Random #210

‘If this world is wearing thin
And you’re thinking of escape
I’ll go anywhere with you
Just wrap me up in chains
But if you try to go alone
Don’t think I’ll understand…’

10/06/2022 6