‘4 Real’

My poems are not

Very nice

Particularly warm,

Or fuzzy

But they do resonate

With those desolate

And who prefer their words

Bloody

4

What Came Before

I really am so sorry

She said

I should have told you

From the start

But I’ve been remiss

I’m not fit for this

Because of my broken heart

You don’t need to apologise

He said

I always knew

To take things slow

Out of respect

For you and your ex

I’m happy to go with the flow

7

Rewired

I used to be nice

I used to be kind

Then something happened

That changed my mind

Now I’m angry

Now I’m mean

With very little left

In-between

3

Enough Now

Anyone else

Sick of this shit

Just miserable and irked?

I don’t know about you

But feeling like I do

I’d rather be back at work

4

The Trainspotters

At the end

Of the platform

They huddle

Snapping a photo, or two

They enjoy

A wee kiss

And a cuddle

Before the next train passes through

0

Excess

What day even is it?

She said

As she opened the fridge door

I’ve got no idea

He said

But I can’t eat any more

4

The Boxing Day Swim

It’s funny how things turn out

She said

As she tugged on her costume straps

When I was here

Last year

She said

My mind had all but collapsed

I knew after I’d entered the water

She said

That there would be no doubt

As I had decided

Feeling like I did

Death was the only way out

But these last few months I have learned

She said

Through medication and therapy

Having survived that blip

A communal dip

Is now more than enough for me

10

Until Dinnertime

It’s never as bad

As you think it’ll be

All sitting around

The Christmas tree

As long as you have

A beer, or two

To dull the pain

And see you through

4

Top Of The List

What would you like

For Christmas he asked

His smile

A million miles wide

I just need the strength

To carry on

She wholeheartedly replied

9

From The Ashes

How did it come to be

He said

That you no longer care

Because I chose to live carefree

She said

And turned my back on despair

4

The Local Lothario

I couldn’t get a photo

She said

But I promise you, it’s true

She was there legs akimbo

Lips stuck to his like glue

I cannot quite believe it

She said

He just doesn’t seem the type

But now that you have seen it

Does it live up to the hype?

Let me put it this way

She said

From the look upon her face

I think it would be safe to say

He doesn’t get many complaints!

2

Age-Old

Do you know what I have learned

She said

In all my time here on this earth

Forget about the bridges you’ve burned

She said

And value your own self worth

4

Itchy Feet

It’s not that I don’t trust

The fortuitous hands of fate

But I would just prefer it

If I didn’t have to wait

0

Enough Of This Shit

As another day fills

Me with dread

Intrusive thoughts

Inside my head

I wish that I

Could stay in bed

And sleep

For a thousand years instead

4

Overcome

Most of the time

I do quite wells

Smile on my face

Everything swell

But when those tears

Decide to fall

The reality is

There’s fuck all

I can do

To save myself

From drowning

0

Both Ways

One million men

Could lay in my bed

But you’d still be the one

Stuck in my head

Even if I tried

A million women instead

I wouldn’t even be vaguely

Interested

0

As The Night Wears On

Turning up here

An armful of beer

The epitome of niceness

But the look on your face

As I call you a disgrace

Is absolutely fucking priceless

2

Anxiety

Here again

Home alone

Pacing, waiting

By the phone

Hoping to hear

That familiar tone

And to read our date

Has been postponed

0

An Audience Of One

I write a bit

Now you know

Nothing special

Or much to show

But just enough

To get me though

And show how much

I still miss you

0

Our Spot

You took my hand

As we crossed the sand

And I knew then

What I still know now

That’s why I come back here

Every year

To talk to you again

Out loud

0

The Bad Apple

I’ll always be like this

She said

Of that I have no doubt

Because there isn’t enough goodness

She said

To drive the badness out

0

Getting On With The Job

Why should they rememeber

He said

Every year

When you never even talk

About him here

Well, it’s not like they cared

She said

In the first fucking place

Back when the pain was still written

All over my face

3

The Perils Of Peer Support

I realise I fucked up

He said

When I wasn’t there for you

But I promise I’ll be here now

He said

And will help to see you through

All that shit is pointless

She said

We can’t go back in time

Just prioritise your own health

She said

And I’ll take care of mine

0

It Never Lasts

Things can only get better

He said

If you keep up this attitude

It’ll be gone within the day

She said

Along with my good mood

0

Gone

Love him while

You still can

As the hands of death

Wait for no man

2

Just Text Him

It’s not for you

To dwell on

To deliberate

Or discuss

As I’ll be the one

To decide

If I have actually

Got the guts

3

Fake As Fuck

That’s really amazing news

She said

I’m so very pleased for you

Now let’s just leave it there

She said

As you wouldn’t want the truth

2

2.4 Children

We must catch up sometime

She said

I miss spending time with you

If that was all I had at home

She said

Then I would miss me too

3

Liberté d’Expression

I know that it must seem

She said

Like I’m arrogant and self centered

But that’s not it at all

She said

I just write how I feel uncensored

0

Sweet Dreams

I hope

You’re sleeping soundly

All tucked up

In your bed

I hope that guilt

Isn’t shouting too loudly

Inside your pretty

Little head

I hope

You’re remembering proudly

All those actions

That you took

And I hope

You’re realising quite roundly

How I no longer

Give a fuck

2

To Care

You really shouldn’t wait

He said

Who knows what could happen next

It really wouldn’t matter

She said

As I’m far too fucking depressed

0

The Long Dark

There are some nights

That never stop

Even when you look

That silent clock

Just seems

To stay the same

Time appears

To have stopped

And although you lie

There and watch

You know that everything

Has changed

0

“You Can’t Stand Me Now”

Something of a hero

In your teens

The subject of many

Young girls dreams

Yet here you are now

Bloated and aging

With that yellowing skin

And cholesterol raging

So it’s hard to see you

As you once were

When that rakish charm

Caused quite the stir

Yet it’s not really you

That I feel sorry for

It’s all those young girls

Who don’t dream anymore

0

You Don’t Fool Me

I don’t care 

That you didn’t mean it

Or if just to deflect 

You moved to attack

As now I know how you seethe

Underneath

And you can never take that back 

0

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