Because of how
It felt inside
I said I loved you
But I think I lied
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Because of how
It felt inside
I said I loved you
But I think I lied
You may think
Your cheeky wink
Was both charming
And flirtatious
Yet your inane smile
And attempt to beguile
Tested nothing
But my patience
I know
What happened
Between us
Was just
A one time
Thing
But I hope
You know
Your Cupid’s bow
Really did
Make my heart
Sing
It’s hard
To know
What to say
Let alone
What to post
In fact
Never before
Have I been
So sure
About giving
Up the ghost
Waving goodbye
To my childhood dreams
As I now know nothing
Is what it seems
Thinking back
To that night
A split decision
And your plane
Took flight
If I’d known then
What I do now
I’d have grabbed
Your hand
And never
Let go
I’ve never felt
More myself
Than when I
Was alone
With you
Xxx
Please don’t think
That I’m not keen
Being intentionally rude
Or deliberately mean
I’m just not in the mood
To give you head
And I’d rather we watch
This box set instead
When he died
And you’d nothing left
How did you deal
With the emptiness?
I filled it up
With pills and gin
In the vainest of hopes
I could forget him
And did you find
That it worked
They helped wash away
The pain and hurt
Some days did feel
Like less of a chore
But, in the end, the grief
Got too big to ignore
It feels like
The good times
Have passed me by
Due to booze,
Boredom,
And some pretty
Bad guys
Why don’t
We leave now
He said
Let’s get a bus,
Taxi or walk
We won’t
Be having sex
She said
But I’d love it
If we could talk
Whenever
You feel
Something might
Be amiss
Remember you can’t
Get hurt
By what doesn’t
Exist
You think yourself
Some fucking big shot
But really,
Is that all you’ve got?
‘Cause if what you’re giving
Is truly your best
Then you’re no bigger
Than all the rest
Back
In the beginning
There was
So much
To adore
And yet
I still ended
Up crying
On the bathroom
Floor
I’m not that girl
You used to know
I killed her off
Many moons ago
Now close your mouth
And dry your eyes
As life isn’t all beer
And scampi fries
When
I start
To feel alive
Again
There’ll be no
More monsters
And no
More men
I remember the day
We got the keys
Thinking the rest
Would be a breeze
But now I sit and rot
All alone
In what should have been
Our forever home
It rears it’s head
This time of year
The feeling of wishing
That I wasn’t here
I’ll try to push through
As best as I can
But I’d be lying to say
It wasn’t still a plan
Through
The stink
Of stale beer
And smoke
I close
My eyes
And try not
To choke
As the thunder claps
And the heavens open
I search through the scraps
Of what you have broken
Wearing away
My heart and soul
Destroying me was
Your only goal
So with your daggers
You proceeded
Until I was broken
And you’d succeeded
Remember
When you told me
I’d never get hurt again
That it didn’t matter
How my heart was shattered
As there wouldn’t be
Any more pain
Well, you lied
This is worse
I know
That you’re
In love
With her
But please spare
A thought
For me
I know we
Were bereft
And that’s why
You left
But you were once
Everything
To me
It’s all too easy
To fall in love
With the brilliance
Of your music
Yet for such a charming,
Handsome man
It seems you were
A bit of a prick
It seems
The inevitable
Has happened
And I have finally
Gone mad
As I’m starting
To forget
The good things
Instead
Of just the bad
I’m relieved to read
Your memories
Have now started
To blend
As heaven knows
With enough guilt
I already
Must contend
To listen back
Is the best escape
As you never forget
Your first mix tape
(Nor the one who sent it)
There are lots
Of things
That I regret
Some I’m happy
To remember
And some
I’d rather forget
I wonder
Where
You are
Tonight
And if
You ever
Think of me
Or do you
Just
Lay there
Her hands in
Your hair
As you sigh
Contentedly
Do not
Fucking
Talk to me
Don’t you even
Look
My way
You’ll be lucky
To be forgiven tomorrow,
Buddy,
Let alone
Today
When I saw him
Again today
All of that pain
Was washed away
Until I realised
It wasn’t him
And my heart, once more,
Cracked
From within
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