Next (2)

Time stands still

As I lose the will

To say another word

Now I know the drill

I’ll take another pill

And accept I’ll go unheard

#7 The Banshee

After all the wailing

And gnashing of teeth

There’s no point in being violent

From now on

With my spirit long gone

All my screams will be silent

It

You just have to learn to accept

She said

That it is whatever it is

Fuck whatever it was

He said

There must be more to it than this

Random #81

“My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.”

– Sir Anthony Hopkins

God’s Plan

Widowed when you're 38

He said

That's my plan for you

Well all I can say to that

She said

Is seriously, fuck you

(Originally Posted 14.4.2019)

This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war

Furiously waving a white flag above my head

But no one seems to care

One day soon

I’ll stop trying

(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)

Bruised

It’s
OK

You
can
say
it

After
all
it’s
true

I
know
you
never

Really
loved
me

Like
how
I loved
you

Unfathomable Cruelty

Only I
know why
the caged
bird sings

It’s because
some bastard
clipped it’s
wings

Yet as the
tears rise
and the
anger stings

The bird
knows it’s
just one of
those things

Doomed

Nothing
ever
seems
to work
out for
me

Perhaps
I’m
just
destined
to be
unhappy

To
forever
wander
around
wanting
more

Never
quite
accepting
I’m
already
done for

Steadfast

I’ll never be
who you want
me to be

So you’ll
just have
to accept it

Please stop
trying to
change me

Or you’ll
just end up
rejected

Acceptance

I
asked
the
doctor

When
will the
tablets
work?

When do
they take
away my
hurt?

Nothing
will
do that,
she said

Tablets
only
make it
easier to
get out
of bed

I
asked
the
doctor

Are
you
sure?

Won’t
you do
something
more?

There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said

You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead

Yes Sir, No Sir

Okay,
okay,
I accept
defeat.

I’ll get up,
get dressed,
drink tea,
eat.

I’ll take
the pills
you say
I need.

I’ll be a
good girl
like we
agreed.

Your Shirt

I still have it.

Your shirt.

I can feel it.

I can smell it.

I just wish you were still here.

Wearing it.

The Black Dog

When I heard
the black dog
barking outside

I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide

When I heard
the black dog
at my door

I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore

Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder

All I feel
is relief
that it’s over

How Are You?

It’s easier to say I’m alright, rather then I’m anxious.

It’s easier to say I’m okay, rather than I’m outraged.

It’s easier to say I’m better, rather than I’m broken.

It’s easier to say I’m good, rather than I’m grieving.

It’s easier to say I’m well, rather than I’m wasted.

It’s easier to say I’m fine, rather than I’m fucked.

The Corner of My Eye

I thought I saw you today.

Twice.

The first, when you were waiting to cross the road.

The second, when you were ahead of me in the queue at the post office.

It was only when you turned around, and I saw your face, that I realised it wasn’t you.

And I remembered, with a desperate ache, why it could never be you.

And I cried again today.

Twice.

A Thousand Years

Honestly,
I could wait
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
be too tough.

Honestly,
I could sleep
for a
thousand years
and it
would never
be enough.

Honestly,
I could cry
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
hurt too much.

Travel

It doesn’t matter where in the world you go.

How beautiful the country you visit,

How fascinating the people you meet,

How much booze you drink.

You can’t run away from your thoughts.

You might have a different view from your window but your soul will remain as black as the night sky and, beneath it all, you’ll still be the same fuck up you always were.

Travel solves nothing.

If Only We’d Ended It Then…

I finally understand it.
I have realised the way things are.
I accept it.

I am not your woman.
You are not my man.
You are not mine to have.
I am not yours to hold.

We are friends.

This has always been clear.
You are unobtainable.
Out of my reach.

It's not that I don't care -
I do.
It's not that I'm not jealous - I am.

But now I finally understand it.
Now I have realised the way things are.
Now I accept it.

And it's okay.
Really.

xxx

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