Bruised

It’s
OK

You
can
say
it

After
all
it’s
true

I
know
you
never

Really
loved
me

Like
how
I loved
you

Unfathomable Cruelty

Only I
know why
the caged
bird sings

It’s because
some bastard
clipped it’s
wings

Yet as the
tears rise
and the
anger stings

The bird
knows it’s
just one of
those things

Doomed

Nothing
ever
seems
to work
out for
me

Perhaps
I’m
just
destined
to be
unhappy

To
forever
wander
around
wanting
more

Never
quite
accepting
I’m
already
done for

Steadfast

I’ll never be
who you want
me to be

So you’ll
just have
to accept it

Please stop
trying to
change me

Or you’ll
just end up
rejected

Acceptance

I
asked
the
doctor

When
will the
tablets
work?

When do
they take
away my
hurt?

Nothing
will
do that,
she said

Tablets
only
make it
easier to
get out
of bed

I
asked
the
doctor

Are
you
sure?

Won’t
you do
something
more?

There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said

You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead

Yes Sir, No Sir

Okay,
okay,
I accept
defeat.

I’ll get up,
get dressed,
drink tea,
eat.

I’ll take
the pills
you say
I need.

I’ll be a
good girl
like we
agreed.

The Black Dog

When I heard
the black dog
barking outside

I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide

When I heard
the black dog
at my door

I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore

Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder

All I feel
is relief
that it’s over

How Are You?

It’s easier to say I’m alright, rather then I’m anxious.

It’s easier to say I’m okay, rather than I’m outraged.

It’s easier to say I’m better, rather than I’m broken.

It’s easier to say I’m good, rather than I’m grieving.

It’s easier to say I’m well, rather than I’m wasted.

It’s easier to say I’m fine, rather than I’m fucked.

The Corner of My Eye

I thought I saw you today.

Twice.

The first, when you were waiting to cross the road.

The second, when you were ahead of me in the queue at the post office.

It was only when you turned around, and I saw your face, that I realised it wasn’t you.

And I remembered, with a desperate ache, why it could never be you.

And I cried again today.

Twice.

A Thousand Years

Honestly,
I could wait
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
be too tough.

Honestly,
I could sleep
for a
thousand years
and it
would never
be enough.

Honestly,
I could cry
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
hurt too much.

The Plan

Widowed before you're thirty eight,
that's my plan for you.

If that's your plan
then all I can say is
seriously,
fuck you.

This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war,

furiously waving a white flag above my head,

but no one seems to care.

One day soon,

I’ll stop waving.

Travel

It doesn’t matter where in the world you go.

How beautiful the country you visit,

How fascinating the people you meet,

How much booze you drink.

You can’t run away from your thoughts.

You might have a different view from your window but your soul will remain as black as the night sky and, beneath it all, you’ll still be the same fuck up you always were.

Travel solves nothing.

If Only We’d Ended It Then…

I finally understand it.
I have realised the way things are.
I accept it.

I am not your woman.
You are not my man.
You are not mine to have.
I am not yours to hold.

We are friends.

This has always been clear.
You are unobtainable.
Out of my reach.

It's not that I don't care -
I do.
It's not that I'm not jealous - I am.

But now I finally understand it.
Now I have realised the way things are.
Now I accept it.

And it's okay.
Really.

xxx