I know
Your words
I forever
Negated
But your
Kindness
Was always
Appreciated
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I know
Your words
I forever
Negated
But your
Kindness
Was always
Appreciated
I’m starting to think
It’s time
For someone else
To help you instead
You’re far too reliant
And much too incompliant
For me
To sort out your head
Why don’t you just start small
He said
Take baby step, or two
Because to act like I’m over him
She said
Couldn’t be further from the truth
I don’t think I can do it
She said
I’m just too fucking scared
It’s the only way I can see
He said
For your heart to be repaired
A simple girl
With simple needs
Willing to wander
Through the weeds
Searching for something
True to find
While leaving all
Her doubts behind
Whenever
You feel
Something might
Be amiss
Remember you can’t
Get hurt
By what doesn’t
Exist
Remember
When you told me
I’d never get hurt again
That it didn’t matter
How my heart was shattered
As there wouldn’t be
Any more pain
Well, you lied
This is worse
Stop giving
It all away
And save some
For yourself
If you carry on
It’ll all be gone
And you’ll destroy
Your mental health
Every time
I tried to speak
I realised
I couldn’t
Because
Every time
I opened up
You’d show me why
I shouldn’t
You can tell me ’til
You’re blue in the face
But there’s no way
That I’ll hear it
It may sound cliché
But for me to stay
You’ll just have
To let me feel it
You want advice?
I’m full of it
She exuberantly claimed
On any topic or theme
I can intervene
And so help to ease your mind
I can think of nothing worse
She sighed
Than spilling my guts to you
Because all I’d hear back
Is a load of crap
From your asinine point of view
To be honest
Most folks
Are doing
What you do
Just trying
Their best
To make
It through
So please
Don’t believe
All that
Bullshit’s true
Because, trust me,
It’s not all
About you
You need to try
He said
And find
Some peace
I’ll only get that
She said
When I am
Deceased
You should get out
For a walk
He said
It’s great
For your mental health
I trust
Your poxy advice
She said
Even less
Than I trust myself
I remembered what
It was like today
Back when that pain
Gnawed away
When his death broke me
To the sum of my parts
And my mental health
Was off the charts
And although with her
I did empathise
I couldn’t be false
Or tell her lies
So I whispered the truth
As I’ve come to accept it
Although time does heal
It can never correct it
Do as I say
Not as I do
Words I really
Should have tattooed
Suggestions on what
To do and not
Believe me,
I’ve had a billion
But remember that
What you state as fact
Is just
Your fucking opinion
I know
What they say
But it’s simply
Not true
Because at the end
Of the day
There’s no one
Like you
Now it’s just over
Four years for me
And although
I’ve learned a lot
I still couldn’t claim
I know enough to explain
Or even to give it
A decent shot
Bereavement
Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left
They
fall
down
my
face
again
Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me
How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain
(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)
Hold your partner
Close today
Show them your love
In every way
Because when all this
Is said and done
You’ll fucking miss them
When they’re gone
Xxx
‘Wishing I Was Lucky’
Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely
As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
I should really take
My own advice
And instead of all this droning
Pull myself together
Whatever the weather
And just stop fucking moaning
Worry Less
And
just
get
on
with
it
It’s
not
like
everyone
else
Isn’t
also
wading
through
shit
(Originally Posted 07.11.2020)
I can only hope
I find some worth in it
Given that you charge
50p a minute
Helpline
On the
day I
summon
the courage
to call
I know
you’ll be
there to
break
my fall
(Originally Posted 25.09.2019)
You really have to stop hoping
She said
That all of this will end
To think you’ll ever be free
She said
Really is madness my friend
Sunrise
I woke
up crying
again today
So much so
I struggled
to breathe
How much
longer must
I endure this?
When is
there an end
to this grief
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
She never did see it
And now you’re apart
You have been left
With wounds that smart
If only you’d listened
To my remark
You could’ve saved yourself
The broken heart
You Deserve More
I wish you
could see
yourself with a
different view
And know
there are so
many things to
love about you
My only hope
is that she
will see it
again soon too
Then perhaps
you could both
just stop
making do
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
You should be given a manual
For when your loved one dies
Not just on how to cope with grief
But practical advice
There’s so many things you have to do
When you’re under all that pressure
It’s no wonder some things are forgotten
And then they’re lost, forever
I Should Have Done It Back Then
The last link
Has been ripped away
Our final tether
Is severed
And all I can hear
Is your voice
Telling me
That I really should’ve done better
Xxx
Not only is my bed
Still a blessed sanctuary
But back then,
Believe you me,
It was entirely fucking necessary
Fear
I’m
going
back
to bed
It’s
not
worth
staying
awake
From
these
thoughts
in my
head
I need a
fucking
break
(Originally Posted 04.04.2020)
And here I lie
My heart still broken
Knowing this to be
The truest word I’ve spoken
Who Knew
I’d never realised
the word heartbreak
was meant literally,
until now
(Originally Posted 04.04.2019)
I remember people telling me
My emotions would return
That the numbness I felt
Would resolve itself
And I shouldn’t
Be too concerned
But I knew
Right from the off
That it was the end for me
My well had run dry
And I’d said goodbye
To who I used to be
So although now
I may joke
To those same people
About how
I am ‘dead inside’
I’ve never been more certain
Of its truth
And from that
There’s nowhere to hide
Tributary
The love
I once
had to
give
Ran so
deep
and
wide
But now,
it seems,
the river
is dry
As I’m
all but
dead
inside
(Originally Posted 03.04.2020)
I can’t help you
She said
I have nothing to give
Don’t count on me
She said
For your reason to live
What would you do
If it was you
Would you risk it
Even though
You could lose
—
I have no idea
What I’d do here
So thank fuck
I don’t
Have to choose
They do not like me Jesus
He said
What am I supposed to do
If you teach me one of your tricks
Perhaps some friends might then ensue
—
I cannot help you friend
He said
For those tricks are mine alone
You must find your own way
Even if it means a lifetime alone
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