You Never Listen Anyway

I’m starting to think

It’s time

For someone else

To help you instead

You’re far too reliant

And much too incompliant

For me

To sort out your head

Too Big A Jump

Why don’t you just start small

He said

Take baby step, or two

Because to act like I’m over him

She said

Couldn’t be further from the truth

One Step At A Time

I don’t think I can do it

She said

I’m just too fucking scared

It’s the only way I can see

He said

For your heart to be repaired

Entering The Stream

A simple girl

With simple needs

Willing to wander

Through the weeds

Searching for something

True to find

While leaving all

Her doubts behind

I Didn’t Believe You Anyway

Remember

When you told me

I’d never get hurt again

That it didn’t matter

How my heart was shattered

As there wouldn’t be

Any more pain

Well, you lied

This is worse

Self Preservation

Stop giving

It all away

And save some

For yourself

If you carry on

It’ll all be gone

And you’ll destroy

Your mental health

Lesson Learned

Every time

I tried to speak

I realised

I couldn’t

Because

Every time

I opened up

You’d show me why

I shouldn’t

Finding My Own Way

You can tell me ’til

You’re blue in the face

But there’s no way

That I’ll hear it 

It may sound cliché

But for me to stay

You’ll just have

To let me feel it

“You Wouldn’t Understand…”

You want advice?

I’m full of it

She exuberantly claimed

On any topic or theme

I can intervene

And so help to ease your mind

I can think of nothing worse

She sighed

Than spilling my guts to you

Because all I’d hear back

Is a load of crap

From your asinine point of view

Food For Thought

To be honest

Most folks

Are doing

What you do

Just trying

Their best

To make

It through

So please

Don’t believe

All that

Bullshit’s true

Because, trust me,

It’s not all

About you

“I Was Sorry To Hear About Your Dad…”

I remembered what

It was like today

Back when that pain

Gnawed away

When his death broke me

To the sum of my parts

And my mental health

Was off the charts

And although with her

I did empathise

I couldn’t be false

Or tell her lies

So I whispered the truth

As I’ve come to accept it

Although time does heal

It can never correct it

Like Arseholes

Suggestions on what

To do and not

Believe me,

I’ve had a billion

But remember that

What you state as fact

Is just

Your fucking opinion

Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot


Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

Trust Me

Hold your partner

Close today

Show them your love

In every way

Because when all this

Is said and done

You’ll fucking miss them

When they’re gone

Xxx


‘Wishing I Was Lucky’

Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely

As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

‘Rainy Days And Mondays’

I should really take

My own advice

And instead of all this droning

Pull myself together

Whatever the weather

And just stop fucking moaning


Worry Less

And
just
get
on
with
it

It’s
not
like
everyone
else

Isn’t
also
wading
through
shit

(Originally Posted 07.11.2020)

Premium Rate Advice

I can only hope

I find some worth in it

Given that you charge

50p a minute


Helpline

On the
day I
summon
the courage
to call

I know
you’ll be
there to
break
my fall

(Originally Posted 25.09.2019)

Take It From One Who Knows

You really have to stop hoping

She said

That all of this will end

To think you’ll ever be free

She said

Really is madness my friend


Sunrise

I woke
up crying
again today

So much so
I struggled
to breathe

How much
longer must
I endure this?

When is
there an end
to this grief

(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)

I Tried To Warn You

She never did see it

And now you’re apart

You have been left

With wounds that smart

If only you’d listened

To my remark

You could’ve saved yourself

The broken heart


You Deserve More

I wish you
could see
yourself with a
different view

And know
there are so
many things to
love about you

My only hope
is that she
will see it
again soon too

Then perhaps
you could both
just stop
making do

(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)

A Digital Death

You should be given a manual

For when your loved one dies

Not just on how to cope with grief

But practical advice

There’s so many things you have to do

When you’re under all that pressure

It’s no wonder some things are forgotten

And then they’re lost, forever


I Should Have Done It Back Then

The last link

Has been ripped away

Our final tether

Is severed

And all I can hear

Is your voice

Telling me

That I really should’ve done better

Xxx

My Unhappy Place

Not only is my bed

Still a blessed sanctuary

But back then,

Believe you me,

It was entirely fucking necessary


Fear

I’m
going
back
to bed

It’s
not
worth
staying
awake

From
these
thoughts
in my
head

I need a
fucking
break

(Originally Posted 04.04.2020)

I Know Now

And here I lie

My heart still broken

Knowing this to be

The truest word I’ve spoken


Who Knew

I’d never realised
the word heartbreak
was meant literally,
until now

(Originally Posted 04.04.2019)

Arid

I remember people telling me

My emotions would return

That the numbness I felt

Would resolve itself

And I shouldn’t

Be too concerned

But I knew

Right from the off

That it was the end for me

My well had run dry

And I’d said goodbye

To who I used to be

So although now

I may joke

To those same people

About how

I am ‘dead inside’

I’ve never been more certain

Of its truth

And from that

There’s nowhere to hide


Tributary

The love
I once
had to
give

Ran so
deep
and
wide

But now,
it seems,
the river
is dry

As I’m
all but
dead
inside

(Originally Posted 03.04.2020)

Don’t Ask Me

What would you do

If it was you

Would you risk it

Even though

You could lose

I have no idea

What I’d do here

So thank fuck

I don’t

Have to choose

The Plea That Went Unheard

They do not like me Jesus

He said

What am I supposed to do

If you teach me one of your tricks

Perhaps some friends might then ensue

I cannot help you friend

He said

For those tricks are mine alone

You must find your own way

Even if it means a lifetime alone

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