"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Now it’s just over
Four years for me
And although
I’ve learned a lot
I still couldn’t claim
I know enough to explain
Or even to give it
A decent shot
Bereavement
Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left
They
fall
down
my
face
again
Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me
How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain
(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)
Hold your partner
Close today
Show them your love
In every way
Because when all this
Is said and done
You’ll fucking miss them
When they’re gone
Xxx
‘Wishing I Was Lucky’
Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely
As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
I should really take
My own advice
And instead of all this droning
Pull myself together
Whatever the weather
And just stop fucking moaning
Worry Less
And
just
get
on
with
it
It’s
not
like
everyone
else
Isn’t
also
wading
through
shit
(Originally Posted 07.11.2020)
I can only hope
I find some worth in it
Given that you charge
50p a minute
Helpline
On the
day I
summon
the courage
to call
I know
you’ll be
there to
break
my fall
(Originally Posted 25.09.2019)
You really have to stop hoping
She said
That all of this will end
To think you’ll ever be free
She said
Really is madness my friend
Sunrise
I woke
up crying
again today
So much so
I struggled
to breathe
How much
longer must
I endure this?
When is
there an end
to this grief
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
She never did see it
And now you’re apart
You have been left
With wounds that smart
If only you’d listened
To my remark
You could’ve saved yourself
The broken heart
You Deserve More
I wish you
could see
yourself with a
different view
And know
there are so
many things to
love about you
My only hope
is that she
will see it
again soon too
Then perhaps
you could both
just stop
making do
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
You should be given a manual
For when your loved one dies
Not just on how to cope with grief
But practical advice
There’s so many things you have to do
When you’re under all that pressure
It’s no wonder some things are forgotten
And then they’re lost, forever
I Should Have Done It Back Then
The last link
Has been ripped away
Our final tether
Is severed
And all I can hear
Is your voice
Telling me
That I really should’ve done better
Xxx
Not only is my bed
Still a blessed sanctuary
But back then,
Believe you me,
It was entirely fucking necessary
Fear
I’m
going
back
to bed
It’s
not
worth
staying
awake
From
these
thoughts
in my
head
I need a
fucking
break
(Originally Posted 04.04.2020)
And here I lie
My heart still broken
Knowing this to be
The truest word I’ve spoken
Who Knew
I’d never realised
the word heartbreak
was meant literally,
until now
(Originally Posted 04.04.2019)
I remember people telling me
My emotions would return
That the numbness I felt
Would resolve itself
And I shouldn’t
Be too concerned
But I knew
Right from the off
That it was the end for me
My well had run dry
And I’d said goodbye
To who I used to be
So although now
I may joke
To those same people
About how
I am ‘dead inside’
I’ve never been more certain
Of its truth
And from that
There’s nowhere to hide
Tributary
The love
I once
had to
give
Ran so
deep
and
wide
But now,
it seems,
the river
is dry
As I’m
all but
dead
inside
(Originally Posted 03.04.2020)
I can’t help you
She said
I have nothing to give
Don’t count on me
She said
For your reason to live
What would you do
If it was you
Would you risk it
Even though
You could lose
—
I have no idea
What I’d do here
So thank fuck
I don’t
Have to choose
They do not like me Jesus
He said
What am I supposed to do
If you teach me one of your tricks
Perhaps some friends might then ensue
—
I cannot help you friend
He said
For those tricks are mine alone
You must find your own way
Even if it means a lifetime alone
I was thinking
Earlier on today
How it really
Would be nice
To go at least
One day
Without
Your bullshit advice
When you find
It’s a struggle to cope
When it feels
Like you’ve lost all hope
Remember and try
To just hold on
For there will be
Better days to come
I’m sorry I didn’t listen
He said
But I thought I knew it all
Now I’ll watch from the sidelines
She said
And cheer on your downfall
It’s sad that you have to endure
The same shit that I did
Remarks about your skin colour hurt
Especially when you’re a kid
Just know that you’re amazing
As you’re growing day by day
You’ll always be the better person
No matter what they say
If you can’t win
Don’t lose
If ever you need someone
You don’t have to worry
As I’ll be there
Like a shot
Please never question
If you can call me
As I’d rather listen to you
Than not
I didn’t ask for your opinion
In fact you’ve got a cheek
Now kindly piss off
You supercilious toff
Or I’ll knock you into next week
Do as I say
Not as I do
I wouldn't
want this pain
Inflicted
on you
(Originally Posted 10.03.2019)
It will get better with time
They lied
Before my tears
Had even dried
It’s heartfelt
praise, but
I know
your ways.How uncomfortable
you are
to see,
just how
miserable I
can be.I’m sorry
I no
longer make
you smile.For that
you’ll need
to wait
a while.Until then,
just keep
telling me
I’ll make
it through.And I’ll
keep on
whispering
fuck you.(Originally Posted 10.05.2019)
How
long
will
you
Be
here
for
me
When
your
own
tradegy
strikes
What
will
happen
To
our
love
When
your
reality
bites?
It
hurts
my
heart
To
hear
you
cry
And
watch
you
break
Like
this
As
your
life
Falls
apart
And
you
stare
Into
the
abyss
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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