"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I don’t care if it’s now
I don’t care if it’s later
Because now I know
Which way you’ll go
On the day you meet your maker
The Reckoning
If you
can’t
bear
to see
the hurt
you’ve
caused
Then
feel
free
to
look
away
For
I know
that
guilt
will
fuck
you up
And
you’ll
face
the
truth
one day
(Originally Posted 28.02.2020)
Well thank fuck for that
She said
As she walked away
With her empty head
Fair And Square
One
thousand
poems
And I am
finally
done
This
battle is
now over
And my
war has
been won
(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)
Yet after all
That pushing
And shoving
Saying sorry
Actually
Changes nothing
‘All Apologies’
One down,
A thousand to go.
This shit is harder
Than it looks,
You know.
(Originally Posted 28.02.2020)
Neither of us
Can speak the truth
As both of us have
Too much to lose
In(sin)cerity
You claim
that
you
have
got it
rough
Well
on that
I call
bullshit
As I’m
the one
who’s
doing
it tough
You
fucking
hypocrite
(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)
I watch you from
Across the room
And see your face fill
With dread
If only you
Could see what I do
And quiet that voice
Inside your head
Internal Monologue
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
Just cheer up,
you miserable cunt
Your wallowing
is excruciating
And your self
pity an affront
(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)
It wasn’t really
What you did
That was so cold hearted
And ruthless
It was the look of pride
In your eyes
That I always found
The cruellest
E(strange)d
You can say
what you want
But you’re
still a cunt
Your actions
I cannot forgive
For I’ll bear
the brunt
Of your
audacious stunt
For as long as
we both shall live
(Originally Posted 28.02.2020)
That’s the problem
With the past
As humans,
We tend to rose tint it
When in actual fact
If we really look back
It wasn’t quite like
How we wished it
Misrepresentation
The old days
Weren’t that good
Trust me,
I remember
(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)
They say that art
Mirrors life
And my case
That was true
I decided
To stay with him
When I should
Have chosen you
Somewhere In Madison County
With one
hand
pressed
against
the door
I try
to work
out who
I love
more
And in
that split
second
I decide
to stay
I
throw
my chance
of happiness
away
(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)
Perhaps I should climb
A mountain
Or sail off
On a round the cruise
Anything to relieve
This having to grieve
After all,
What have I got to lose?
‘I Could Be Wrong / I Could Be Right…’
The
pressure
is on
to find
meaning
In
this so
called
life of
mine
But
I just
can’t
help but
feeling
That
it’s a
total
waste
of time
(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)
It’s not
That you have
The audacity
To wear
My doorbell thin
It’s more
The fact
That I’m powerless
To act
And can’t help
But let you in
‘… Such Sweet Sorrow’
Every
time
we
say
goodbye
I wish
that
you
would
stay
For
another
part
of my
soul is
crushed
Each
time
you
walk
away
(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)
I know you think
You can change me
That your kindness
Will be enough
But trust me when I say
There’s been too much decay
For my heart to be capable
Of love
Bad Seed
I
wish
there
was a
way
To
make
you
see
That
good
boys
like
you
Aren’t
for
bad
girls
like me
(Originally Posted 26.02.2020)
Fuck knows why
I picked a zoo
I couldn’t think
Of anything worse
Starting something
Amid such abuse
Could only prove
To be a curse
Swipe Right
How’s
about
it
Just
us
two
Fancy
a
walk
Visit
the
zoo
Get
a
beer
Eat
some
food
Spend
the
night
Being
terribly
rude
(Originally Posted 25.02.2020)
Sometimes,
As a writer,
All that you can do
Is to drop
The flowery language
And just tell
The fucking truth
In Memoriam
There is nothing
Left to do
There isn’t anything
Else to say
I just really
Fucking miss him
Every single day
Xxx
(Originally Posted 25.02.2022)
The rope
Is in
The bin
For now
Having given
That monster
A swerve
But it’s safe
To assume
I can’t give him
Any room
As he’ll have
Kept some back
In reserve
Try Harder Next Time
The monster who lives
Under my bed
Whispers again
Why aren’t you dead
Berating me
For writing instead
And putting the rope
Back in the shed
(Originally Posted 24.02.2021)
Don’t think you can come
Crawling back now
Acting all innocent
And holier than thou
You and I both know
What you did back then
And why, in effect,
I’d wring your neck
Time and time again
Let It Burn
I have killed us
Once before
And I will happily
Do it again
For I am
No longer
In love with you
In fact we’re
Not even friends
(Originally Posted 24.02.2022)
Now I can take
Longer strokes
And can draw
Bigger breaths
Perhaps one day
I’ll swim away
And escape
These murky depths
(Compass)ion
It must
be so easy
for you
Loving
your life
as you do
But spare a
thought for
the likes of me
Who drown
in a sea of
melancholy
(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)
It wasn’t that
After our spat
I just put up
The ‘no vacancies’ sign
But I sold the whole
B & B
And left all your bullshit
Behind
No Vacancies
I don’t
want you
to visit
When all
you bring
is pain
I’d rather
stay home
alone
And break
this toxic
chain
(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)
I eat
I drink
I sleep
I breathe
But with
Very little else
Inbetween
I Fucking Hate Tuesdays
Trudging through this half a life
Really just subsisting
Knowing I’d be
Better off dead
Than merely just existing
(Originally Posted 22.02.2022)
The fool and her heart
Were very soon parted
As he couldn’t finish
What he started
Unkept
You said
To me
You’d always
Be true
Yet it’s clear
That forever
Meant fuck all
To you
(Originally Posted 22.02.2021)
To think I was ever
This pathetic
Leaves me
Open mouthed
And aghast
It certainly took
Some toughening up
But at least now
That nonsense
Has passed
My Dark Heart
Although
my descent
into
madness
Has
torn
my soul
apart
Underneath
all of
this
sadness
I’m still
a romantic
at heart
(Originally Posted 22.02.2020)
I can try
To distract myself
Go to bed
And turn off the light
But I know full well
There’s no chance in hell
I won’t be calling him
Tonight
‘You Spin Me (Right Round)’
With
your
smile so
appealing
And
your
humility
endearing
I cannot
help
but get
feeling
You
won’t
be
home
alone
This
evening
(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)
You can stop
Telling me
That it helps
To talk about
This shit
As you have
No notion
Of why
I’ve chosen
To keep
A lid on it
The Shrink
The
pain
is
buried
so
deep
She
said
I
don’t
think
it’ll
ever
re-surface
Then
we
should
leave
it
where
it is
He
said
Breaking
your
heart
(again)
isn’t
worth
it
(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)
It’s amazing
The people
You can meet
When you’re standing
Outside
On the street
They make you
Instantly
Lose control
As, with ease,
They stare
Into your soul
Cutting Through The Bullshit
I’m
not
really
crying
She
said
Honestly
things
are
fine
You
can’t
kid a
kidder
He
said
Now,
please,
come
back
to mine
(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)
You must start moving on
My friend
As it won’t be long
Until the end
And when you look back
You’ll rue the day
That you gave all
Of your time away
Overheard
All
you
do is
bitch
and
moan
And
I listen,
with
a sigh
For you
can’t
seem
to see
what
I do
That’s
your
life,
passing
you by
(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)
Now it’s just over
Four years for me
And although
I’ve learned a lot
I still couldn’t claim
I know enough to explain
Or even to give it
A decent shot
Bereavement
Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left
They
fall
down
my
face
again
Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me
How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain
(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)
I know I’d suggested
Greeting cards
But as I see the humour in this
Perhaps I’d be more suited
To writing less convoluted
Patient information leaflets
The Human Rattle
Take
these
pills
To
cure
your
ills
And
mend
your
broken
heart
They’ll
give
you
chills
And
delay
your
thrills
But at
least
it’ll
be a
start
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
How I remember
Feeling this way
That nothing again
Would be OK
But now I’ve got
Some feeling back
I see a glimmer of hope
Through the crack
Grieving
Are you
sure it’s
gone
He
said
What
about
love
Compassion?
Make
no
mistake
She
said
I’ve
lost
it all
Her
face,
as it was,
ashen
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
I know your heart’s
In the right place
And that deep down
You mean well
But your good intentions
Mean nothing
While I’m trapped
In this hell
Two Cents Worth
It will get better with time
They lied
Before my tears
Had even dried
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
As the end
Draws ever near
I have to say
I’m feeling the fear
What will I do
If I don’t write
What will I do
With all this spite?
Pens Down
Nothing lasts
Forever
You know
Not you
Not me
And certainly not my poetry
(Originally Posted 17.02.2021)
This isn’t actually
Strictly true
It’s not like I’ve never
Had fun
It’s more that my weakness
For bleakness
Hasn’t ever quite been undone
‘Twilight’
I wish
I could
remember
The
good
old
days
But I
fear they
were just
a lie
For
I cannot
recall
Any
time in
my life
When
I didn’t
want
to die
(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)
Thank God I have
Two weeks annual leave
So from your chatter
I’ll enjoy a reprieve
The Water Cooler
If only
I could
feign
interest
Perhaps
we could
be friends
But in
fact you
bore me
witless
So I
pray this
conversation
ends
(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)
I don’t even know
Why I write this shit
I don’t even like guns
Not one bit
If Only…
“Is that a gun in your pocket,
Or are you just pleased to see me?”
Bang.
(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)
Nothing says
I love you
More than a course
Of antibiotics
Or two
St Valentine’s Day Rebuke
It’s that
time of
year
again
When
love
is in
the air
But so is
Covid,
TB and flu
So please
take your
bullshit
elsewhere
(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)
I felt that way
For a really long time
After you rounded on me
That night
But now I’ve moved on
And boy I’ve grown
So I’m stepping back
Into the light
Nyctophilia
I’m
better
alone
than in
company
Just
like I’m
happier
in the
dark
That
way
I never
have to
see anyone
Or
hear
another
disparaging
remark
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
She has long been
The target
For all of my insults
And slurs
But your fakery
Fucking disgusts me
Almost as much
As hers
Celebrity Suicide Breeds Public Dishonesty
So you can
empathise
with her
Someone
you only
saw on TV?
But when
my shit hit
the fan
You couldn’t
sympathise
with me?
Well fuck your
social media
petition
And your
boycott of
that rag
Why not look
a little closer
to home?
You
disingenuous
old hag
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
I took the fact
He listened
As you sending me
A sign
So wherever you are
I hope you know
Your best friend
Is now mine
Xxx
The Soirée
It
was
exactly
One
year
ago
That
we all
sat in
that
tent
But
there
was
only
one
Who
truly
heard
My
broken
hearted
lament
From
that
day
We’ve
kept
in touch
Forging a
connection
of our
own
And
that’s
because
You
chose
us
To
reap
what
you
had
sown
(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)
I’m not sure
What I was protecting here
My mind, body or soul
Either way, it seems,
I’d go to extremes
To keep whatever makes me whole
Access Denied
What I have
Is not for you
It is mine and mine alone
If you want
What I have got
Fuck off and find your own
(Originally Posted 15.02.2022)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I know Valentine’s
Was yesterday
But I still fucking hate you
No Love Lost
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I may very well
Have been a cunt
But so, my dear, have you
(Originally Posted 15.02.2021)
It’s not that I’m inconsiderate
Or incapable of being kind
But when I’m surrounded by idiots
I just have to speak my mind
Never A Truer Word (Unspoken)
“If you haven’t got anything nice to say,
Don’t say anything at all.”
*Silence*
(Originally Posted 15.02.2020)
It’s taken me by surprise
This year
As I thought I’d be OK
Yet I feel utterly desolate
Lying here
Washing my tears away
Xxx
What Should Have Been
Twenty two years
Just me and you
Sitting on the sofa
With wine and food
But it’s not to be
As you’re three years gone
So any romance today
Just feels wrong
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)
There is a tendency
When your partner dies
If thinking back
To romanticise
Every little thing
They ever did or said
To remember nothing wrong
In the years you were wed
But as time rolls by you realise
This wasn’t always the case
And putting them on that pedestal
Is just your grief misplaced
It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them
Or that their death isn’t terrible
But to acknowledge their flaws
Is important because
It makes your life slightly
More bearable
Xxx
Wasted Time
If I regret anything now
It’s all the arguments we had
The silent treatment I gave you
The things I did to make you mad
Now you’re no longer here
I can’t put those wrong things right
And I have no choice but to live with that
For the rest of my fucking life
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
Hold your partner
Close today
Show them your love
In every way
Because when all this
Is said and done
You’ll fucking miss them
When they’re gone
Xxx
‘Wishing I Was Lucky’
Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely
As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
When you only have a little
A little can mean a lot
So even living off a trickle
Feels like winning the jackpot
Hostages
I
can’t
let
go
You’re
all
I’ve
got
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
I have so much to offer
He said
As well as this body of mine
I don’t need anything else
She said
So just the sex is fine
Whirlpools
When
I look
deep
Into
your
eyes
I must
admit
I’m
pleasantly
surprised
As
I actually
feel
Something
down
below
Which
I thought
I’d lost
Years
ago
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
Just keep taking the pills
He said
And they’ll eventually quieten
the voices
I suppose I can persevere
She said
Through a lack of any
other choices
‘It’s Nice To Be A Lunatic…’
Am I over
tired
Or am I just
plain sad
Am I far
too wired
Or simply
going mad
Does it
really matter
For I think
we can deduct
That as I can’t
stop this chatter
Either way,
I’m fucked
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
At least when it all
Happened to me
I had what I’d call
The luxury
Of only having myself
To pull through this shit
And not have any kids
To help cope with it
Inconceivable
Mind
racing
Legs
pacing
Sheer
disbelief
At what
you’re
facing
(Originally Posted 12.02.2020)
The urge to bow out
With a bang
Has been never fucking ending
So let’s wait and see
Whether, tomorrow, said spree
Will be a killing or spending
The Spree
I’m
leaving
first
thing
in the
morning
And I’m
unsure
if I’ll
return
For I
have
so
many
scores
to settle
And a
shitload
of bridges
to burn
(Originally Posted 11.02.2020)
Sometimes I read these and wonder
With all my insults and barbs
If I really have missed my calling
Writing alternative greetings cards
Black Letter Days
Are
you
sure
we’re
done
here
He
said
You’ve
got
nothing
more to
say?
Other
than
shove
those
candles
up your
arse
She
said
Oh, and
happy
birthday!
(Originally Posted 10.02.2021)
I wouldn’t expect you
To understand
Your skin acts
As a protective layer
But mine is a seal
To be broken
For discharging misery
And despair
Scenes Some Viewers May Find Upsetting
It’s
not
self harming
It’s
self
soothing
(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)
With the cost of living rising
And my prospects going down
It may well be time
For me to leave
This tired old humdrum town
Overdrawn
Another
day
Another
dollar
Fuck
knows why
We even
bother
(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)
It’s not that I have
A heart of stone
I just don’t have one
At all…
The Driest Of Wells
Sometimes I wish
That I cared
About everything
You said
But as I have
Already declared
I’ve no tears left
To shed
(Originally Posted 09.02.2021)
On those days
When I feel depressed
And I can’t carry on
Or hope for the best
I know to avoid
The great outdoors
As they’d end up scraping me
Off the floor
You Have Been Warned
I’m
too
scared
to go
out
today
For
the
dark
thoughts
haven’t
gone away
I’m
worried
I’m so
far into
this
slump
That
I may
well
just
decide
to
jump
(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)
There are things
About that day
That out loud
I’ll never say
It’s bad enough
They’re in my head
I don’t need
To hear them said
Pulling The Plug
You did
it on
purpose,
didn’t
you?
Don’t
worry,
it
didn’t
show.
But
I knew
you
had
decided
It
was
time
for you
to go.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)
I don’t think
I’m entirely blameless
I’m not that
Self absorbed
Or shameless
But it wasn’t my doing
Nor was it my fault
That things came to such
To an abrupt halt
I said some things
That were unkind
But in my defence
I had lost my mind
Whereas her behaviour
Had no justification
She practically revelled
In my flagellation
So when it comes
To my ‘tirades’
At least it’s with words
And not razor blades
The Tirade
Don’t stop me now
I’m on a roll
Saying my piece
Letting this shit go
It was you who did this to us
You see
You’re the arsehole here
Not me
(Originally Posted 08.02.2022)
Do you think we could be intimate
He said
Without you drinking wine first
I doubt it very much
She said
As you’re not enough to quench my thirst
Legless
Play that song
one more time
She
said
And pour me
another drink
I want to
feel it all
She
said
But without me
having to think
(Originally Posted 08.02.2020)
You won’t find me
In the kitchen at parties
I’ll be in the library
Where my mind is
Lost in my own little world
Of infinite story books
And far, far away
From your disapproving looks
Bookworms
Solace
comes
swiftly
to
those
who
read
For
those
who
devour
words
are
freed
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
It’s too long a story
To explain why
But I’ll stand by this
Until the day I die
Toxic
Blood
isn’t
thicker
Than
happiness
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
Have faith
In the afterlife
They say
Even just
A little bit
But if all there is
Is coming back to this
Then ‘they’
Can fucking stick it
Over And Over Again
It was always pretty reckless
And possibly quite mad
But I have fallen for you
Over and over again
In each lifetime I’ve had
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.02.2022)
My heart aches just
That little bit more
As I read this
With a sigh
Remembering the time
With your hand in mine
Crying
We said goodbye
Xxx
‘Everything Must Go’
Don’t
say
anything
else
He
said
Please,
just
hold
my
hand
I’ll
stay
until
we
reach
She
said
Our
line in
the
sand
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
Looking at the others
She said
I really think we have a shot
Then we’d better pack our jumpers
He said
As where we’re headed won’t be hot
Dante’s Board Meeting
So
who
do we
have
next
He
said
To
endure
this
pain
and
sorrow
We
don’t
really
know
She
said
Until
the
vote
tomorrow
(Originally Posted 06.02.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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