I wouldn’t have
Invited you
If I didn’t want
You to come
Plus, I can’t go home
On my own
As my batteries
Are done
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I wouldn’t have
Invited you
If I didn’t want
You to come
Plus, I can’t go home
On my own
As my batteries
Are done
I sound like such a strumpet
In some of these lines I write
But I can promise you
The actual truth
Is that I am alone most nights
Rolling In The Hay
Looking
up at
you
Looking
down
at me
I know
this is
where
We’re
supposed
to be
(Originally Posted 27.10.2019)
Are you sure that you’re done
She said
You’re not even up for a fling?
I am absolutely sure
He said
I’m no longer ‘up’ for anything
A Solo Affair
I’m fine
by myself
without
all of
that
Just me
here
alone
in my
own flat
I don’t
need to
feel anyone
else’s
touch
As frankly
I never
really
liked it
much
(Originally Posted 16.09.2019)
If only I actually was
This little minx that I portray
I’d get my coat and hat
And without looking back
Go have myself a field day
Fuck Buddies
I
won’t
always
be
here,
you
know
For
when
you
feel
the
need
to
ask
Not
while
there
are
more
dicks
to
blow
And
other
glows
in
which
to
bask
(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)
I’m not sure
If I meant this
In a playful way
Or not
Usually,
I would say I did
But back then
My humour
Was shot
Come Closer
I don’t bite.
Much.
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
It seems that every so often
I’ll write a cheeky one like this
I blame the Carry On films
I watched when I was a kid
Their irreverent innuendo
Now belongs to a time gone by
But they taught me comedic timing
And left a twinkle in my eye
Repetitive Strain Injury
Time is running out
She said
Remember we’re on the clock
I wish you’d just stop checking
He said
And focus on my… shoulder
(Originally Posted 11.07.2021)
“A True Maid”
No, no; for my virginity,
When I lose that, says Rose,
I’ll die:
Behind the elms last night, cried
Dick,
Rose, were you not
extremely sick?
– Matthew Prior
‘But she only comes when she’s on top…’
Time is running out
She said
Remember we’re on the clock
I wish you’d just stop checking
He said
And focus on my… shoulder
With cider
A go go
And knickers
A yo yo
The experience
A so so
Anything more
A no no
I may have said
You were exceptional
But I’m afraid, my dear,
You were never quite
The exception
Go on then pal
Unbutton your flies
Let's see what
You've got tonight
Does that bulge
In your jeans
Really mean
What I think it means
Will you actually have
Enough in there to please
Or are you just
A pretentious tease...
Do you believe in soulmates
He asked
As he lay back in the bed
No
She said, bluntly
Now can we just fuck instead
Thanks for that my dear
He said
Would you like a cigarette?
Are you fucking serious
She said
We haven’t finished yet!
So I’ve opened up an Insta
After discussion with some friends
As not only am I interested
In the efforts others have invested
But also who might slide into my DM’s
😉
After
84
days
of
solitude
We’ve
finally
broken
the
bubble
Yet
who
could
have
known
That
in
just
one
minute
We’d
get
into
this
much
trouble
Hotel
rooms
Seedy
as fuck
But so full
of promise
All at the
same time