Tag: choices

Entering The Stream

A simple girl

With simple needs

Willing to wander

Through the weeds

Searching for something

True to find

While leaving all

Her doubts behind

3

Those Left Behind

I’m relieved to read

Your memories

Have now started

To blend

As heaven knows

With enough guilt

I already

Must contend

2

Besotted

For getting me

To agree

You always seemed

To have the knack

But I’ve been moving on

All summer long

And now I know

I’ll never look back

0

Back Tracking

I remember

When you asked

And all too quckly

I said no

Now I wonder

Having made that blunder

Just how far

I would go

6

New Glasses Day

I know

When I

See you again

There’s no way

That you

Won’t comment

But I hope

And pray

You’ll be kind

And say

You admire

My confidence

4

Fatal Errors

I don’t see

Too much damage

He said

You could get

Yourself on track

From all the shit

I’ve done

She said

There is

No coming back

0

The Dilemma

As I sit here

In the dark

All alone again

I wonder

If it’s worth it

Living a life

So plain

It would

Perhaps

Be different

If I thought

That anyone

Cared

But an opinion

On my existence

Not a soul

Has aired

So it is back

To my

Conundrum

Do I stay

Or do I go?

Waste away

Amidst

This humdrum

Or just end it now,

You know?

19

Digging My Own Hole

After all

The effort

I put in

You’d think

I’d learn

To enjoy it

But I know

Before long

I’ll start

To feel wronged

And then

I’ll just fucking

Destroy it

2

The Rough Vs The Smooth

I’ve often wondered

Over the years

If I had never met

The barbarian

What my life

Would have been like

Had I slept

With the librarian

(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog)

High School English Teachers 

I remember everything about you

Your cardigan, glasses and quiff

If you weren’t so much older

Maybe I’d have been bolder

And asked you out forthwith

(Originally Posted 19.08.2022)

Last Chance 

Despite my protests

to the contrary,

it has always

been you.

Why not 

meet me

at the library,

and I’ll make

your dreams

come true.

(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)

4

Is It Really The Kindest Thing?

The worst is when

All hope is gone

And you know that they

Can’t carry on

When the end is coming

At them hard

And all that’s left

Is wounds and scars

That’s when you wish

They could call it a day

Instead of just watching

Them waste away

4

Under Pressure

I need time

To think it through

She said

It’s not that cut

And dried

Well you need

To hurry up

He said

As time’s not on

Our side

4

From The Ashes

How did it come to be

He said

That you no longer care

Because I chose to live carefree

She said

And turned my back on despair

4

We’ll Never Know

If we could go back

What would you do

Stick around for another

Drink or two?

Or would you leave me

There alone

And find someone else

To walk you home

0

Autonomy

It won’t be

The fault

Of destiny

Or a hand

Fate fails

To deal

I’ll leave

Unperturbed

And without

A word

Because that’s

How I’ll fucking feel

2

No Means No

If we both stay here

He said

I fear my resolve

Will break

Let’s be very clear

She said

That’s not your choice

To make

0

Living A Lie

Don’t be scared

He said

Now you’ve shared

I’ll keep your secret

‘Til the end

If they ever found out

She said

I’m not that devout

I fear chaos

Would descend

0

Re-traumatisation Is Re-al

You can stop

Telling me

That it helps

To talk about

This shit

As you have

No notion

Of why

I’ve chosen

To keep

A lid on it

The Shrink

The
pain
is
buried
so
deep

She
said

I
don’t
think
it’ll
ever
re-surface

Then
we
should
leave
it
where
it is

He
said

Breaking
your
heart
(again)
isn’t
worth
it

(Originally Posted 21.02.2020)

0

The Price

If only I’d have listened

To people back in the day

Everyone who told me

This would end in disarray

Then I wouldn’t ever have known

Such misery and dismay

But I’d never have felt love either

And for that I was willing to pay

Mum Knows Best

Why
didn’t
you
follow
your
dreams?

She
said

Using
your
good
humour
and wit

Now
you’ve
got no
choice

She
said

But
to put
up with
his
bullshit

(Originally Posted 29.01.2020)

4

Regardless

I don’t know why

I was spared that day

And he was taken

Instead

But my life

Is hell without him

So I’d still

Be better off dead

Hindsight

If I
could
go back
to that
night

Knowing
what
I now
know

I would
hold you
in my
arms so
tight

And
never
let
you
go

Xxx

(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)

2

Asking For It

You have to accept

When you eat your friends

That they’re pretty adept

At taking revenge

The Dodgy Prawn

Sweating again

And feeling sick

All because of you

You little prick

(Originally Posted 16.01.2020)

0

Ramifications

I kept true to my promise

Just like I said I would

Now let’s both be honest

You fucking hate spinsterhood

Once And For All

Tell me you don’t want me

And I’ll walk away if I must

But just make sure

Your heart can endure

As you won’t see me again

For dust

(Originally Posted 15.01.2021)

0

Missing The Boat

It’ll most likely be

Like the last four

Wondering what the fuck

I stuck around for

20/20

However
will I
make it
through

Another
year
without
you?

(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)

2

Naughty Or Nice?

Only ever

Fleetingly happy

But always

Desperately sad

Forever trying

To be good

Whilst contemplating

Being bad

(Originally Posted 24.12.2019)

4

Cutting It Short

He never did

Text me back

No Facebook, Insta,

Or Whatsapp

Not that I really

Gave a shit

As it proved that he

Could never commit

The Final Fling

I hope
I’ve done
the right
thing

For as
yet, you
haven’t
replied

Perhaps
this is
finally
the end

I guess
I’ll wait
for you
to decide

(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)

2

As Meek As Mice

It’s always the quiet ones

You need to watch

As they’re the ones

Who never get caught

Treachery

This cannot be
What you want

Surely,
It’s a joke

For I am not
That kind of woman

And you’re not
That kind of bloke

(Originally Posted 16.12.2020)

0

Qualms

An allegory for so much

This one

Love, life and death

Trying to capture that feeling

When you need to stop

And pause for breath

Keep The Engine Running

Shall
we go
ahead
and jump

He
asked

Now that
we’ve
come
this far?

I’m not
so sure,
anymore,

She
said

Let’s just
get back
in the
car

(Originally Posted 16.12.2019)

2

Feet First

In for a penny

In for a pound

Isn’t that what they say?

Well all I know is

If there are no strings

Then I’ll be there without delay

Cocktails At Dawn

Come over here

Let’s have a taste

As it would be a shame

If this went to waste

(Originally Posted 16.12.2020)

4

Submitted

With a mindset shifted

And a choice insisted

An opportunity gifted

And a weight now lifted

Epitaph

Do you
ever wish
you could
just give
up?

Say
right,
that’s it,
I’ve had
enough!

I’m
done
with
all this
fucking
shit

I’m
finally
going
through
with it!

Well
I think
these
things
every
day

Those
words
to easy
for me
to say

And
so, it
seems,
my
demons
have won

For
I can
say now
I am
officially
done

(Originally Posted 13.12.2019)

0

Early Birds Catch Worms

The problem

With jumping in

Feet first

Is that

Both parties

Are unrehearsed

Playing For Time

Calm your jets

Drink your tea

If love will wait

Then so can we

(Originally Posted 14.11.2020)

0

Too Late Now

I don’t know how it’s happened

And I can’t even tell you why

But, it seems, I’ve grown old

In love with the wrong fucking guy

Set In Stone

Neither of
us knows

If the life
we chose

Will work out
for the best

(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)

0

Ouch

If only I

Had seen more sense

And not fallen foul

Of my incompetence

Perhaps our relationship now

Wouldn’t be past tense

And I wouldn’t still feel

These splinters from the fence

Just Passing By

It was you

That was

The one

For me

But a future

Between us

I just

Couldn’t see

I suppose

That now

None of that

Matters

For you’ve

Moved on

While I’m left

In tatters

(Originally Posted 13.10.2020)

3

One Decision, One Thousand Lifetimes

I’m not sure if this notion

Of there only ever being one person

For us to love is true

But what I can say for sure

Is even if there were a hundred more

I would only ever want you

Galaxies

If
I was
to
decide

To
leave
this
place

I’d
still
find
you
again

In
any
time or
space

(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)

4

The Second Time Around

The first time

It was fine

As I was young and naive

I didn’t know

Where it would go

So it was easy to just believe

But now I’m older

And my heart colder

I need to be assured

That you intend

To keep up your end

Before my commitment is secured

Going Down The Rabbit Hole

If you don’t mean what you say,

Perhaps we should both just walk away.

Now.

(Originally Posted 02.10.2020)

2

Resignation

What can you do

When you’ve been mistaken

When you realise your life

You have forsaken

When you can’t go back

And start again

When it’s only regret

That does now remain

Double Take

It’s only
now I
realise
I’ve
played
this all
wrong

And it
actually
should
have
been
you all
along

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

0

Taking Back Control

I know what you did

That day

How you made sure

Your pain

Stopped

Were You Afraid Of Dying?

It
was
awful
to see
you
waste
away

Neither
of us
knowing
why

Now
my
only
hope

Is
you
are
smoking
dope

At
that
great
gig in
the
sky

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

2

Bonne Idée

It would’ve been all too easy

To enact the ultimate ‘au revoir’

So just in case I was tempted

I made sure to sell my car

#8 The Optimist

This is

A message

From your favourite

Depressive

To say all

Is well with me

Here’s hoping

It lasts

That those days

Have passed

And I don’t drive

Into a tree

(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)

8

A Repeat Performance

That being said

Given what happened in bed

One thing is certainly true

If I ever planned

To have a two night stand

It would most definitely be with you

In Beero Veritas

Who’d have thought

That we’d come to

Both half dead

And needing the loo

Perhaps we should

Have thought this through

Instead of getting drunk

And doing the do

(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)

4

‘Four Seasons In One Day’

I’ve always been indecisive

But now it’s worse than ever

The back and forth is so divisive

I’m about as reliable as the weather

Confusion

No!
No!
No!

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do

When my
head’s
in such
a mess?

(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)

4

You’ll Never See Me Again

The best thing that I ever did

Was my own fear to subdue

It may have took me a while

But nothing beats the smile

I now wear in spite of you

Soon

Life
has
been
so much
better
without
all your
bullshit
in it

Now
I know
for sure
that
I’ll soon
be removing
you
from
it

(Originally Posted 18.08.2019)

0

Unwilling To Submit

I asked for you

To give me time

And space to clear my head

But as you’ve shown

You can’t leave me alone

Let’s just call it quits instead

Over

Time may heal

Hearts can mend

Until then accept

This is the end

(Originally Posted 06.08.2019)

0

Eating Dinner In Fancy Restaurants

There were quite a few before him

As I tried each one for size

But if there’s no more after him

Then I wouldn’t be surprised

Like Lightning

I remember

When
I thought
it was
you

And I
made my
feelings
plain

But
then
I met
him

And
within
seconds
I knew

I’d never
think
about
you

Again

(Originally Posted 26.07.2020)

2

Pain Free

It was always a promise

And never a threat

I just haven’t decided

How I’ll do it, yet

Crying Wolf

Remember when I told you

I wished that I was dead

And you thought it was all

Just nonsense in my head

Well maybe now you’ll realise

You will finally get to see

The worst thing that you ever did

Was not to believe me

(Originally Posted 23.07.2021)

2

Not Wandering Anymore

Out with the old

And in with the new

Time for me to find

Someone better than you

Rose Tinted Glasses

Sometimes a
wander down
memory lane
is no bad
thing

So long
as you can
remember
your way
back

(Originally Posted 22.07.2019)

4

Out Of The Game

I wish
I could
find
myself
again

But
I’ve
no idea
where to
look

Hide & Seek

When
I think
back now
I realise

I lost
myself
way before
I lost you

(Originally Posted 20.07.2019)

4

Revolving Doors

Starting again

With eyes wide shut

More of a chance

I’ll avoid the glut

Different This Time

Starting again

With eyes wide open

Less of a chance

Hearts will be broken

(Originally Posted 19.07.2021)

4

‘I Wake Up Alone With It All…’

Remember you said

You’d love me forever

And you begged me

To let you to stay

Well I’m beginning

To wonder

If that

Was a blunder

And if I should’ve

Walked away

Happier

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

For never
having met.

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

With nothing
to regret.

(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)

6

Larkin Had It Right

If I’d had a decent role model

Maybe I’d know what to do

But as my childhood was a debacle

I’ve got nothing to compare this to

The Reverse

I’ve never felt happiness,
I don’t know what it is.

I’ve never even seen happiness,
But I’m pretty sure it’s not this.

(Originally Posted 06.06.2019)

2

If Only I Wasn’t Risk Averse (Scenario B)

If only I wasn’t risk averse

My world would open up

If only I wasn’t risk averse

I could see more of life closeup

Deep Breaths

Maybe
you’ll
change
your
mind

Or
maybe
you
won’t

But
one
thing
is for
sure

You’ll
regret
it if
you
don’t

(Originally Posted 25.05.2020)

5

If Only I Was Risk Averse (Scenario A)

If only I was risk averse

I would avoid these situations

If only I was risk averse

I could lay better foundations

Unhappy Endings

I wish
we’d never
started this.

Then we
wouldn’t have
to end it.

(Originally Posted 25.05.2019)

0

Old Ground

You must decide

Who you want to let go

And who it is you want to retain

For there is no way

I can spend another day

Going over all this again

Right Person / Wrong Time

I do
appreciate
what
we
had

But
lament
what
could
have
been

You
and
me
together
forever

With
nobody
inbetween

(Originally Posted 09.04.2020)

10

Less For Murder

Nearly nineteen years of my life

That’s what you had when you were alive

And now three years on

Since you’ve been gone

It still feels like me who died

The Debt Collector

You’ve
stolen
my life
from me

In
oh so
many
ways

It may well
have been
you that
died

But
I’m
the one
who pays

(Originally Posted 17.03.2020)

13

The Self Fulfilling Prophecy

It doesn’t seem to matter

Who tries to talk me up

I cannot ever escape the feeling

That I am a total fuck up

It started when I was young

When I was told I was a peice of shit

That I’d never amount to anything

Despite whatever it was I did

Even into adulthood

That was always on my mind

Although I have since met people

Who are all supportive and kind

But now as I stand here

At another fork in my life’s tale

I just wish I could believe them

Instead of those who convinced me I’d fail

Flightless Bird

If only
I believed
you

Things
would be
so different

If only I
was who
you see

Life
could be
magnificent

(Originally Posted 14.03.2020)

10

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