Maybe Next Year…

I know it’s only

One year on

But I’m still quite proud

Of this

Yet if I’ve had one thought

It’s that I should’ve sought

A better word

To rhyme with Elvis

Until Next Year…

As the calendar page turns once more

We are granted our reprieve

Thank you so much Mariah

Now you can fucking leave

Take that whiny choirboy with you

And that dick who thinks he’s Elvis

Bing and Bowie can piss off too

With their ‘pa rum pum pum pum’ bullshit

We’re happy to wave you off John

Although your message is appreciated

Best take your mate Paul with you though

Before we have his keyboard castrated

It’s time to step out and away now Elton

With The Jacksons, Jonah and Chuck

And as for the ‘NYPD choir’

We couldn’t give less of a fuck

We’ll really only miss you George

Like we do nearly every day

So perhaps, this year, we could keep you

Instead of giving you away

(Originally Posted 29.12.2021)

Looking On

Of course I remember

How it feels

Down to the very last letter

But it wouldn’t matter

What I tried

Nothing can make it better

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

Give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)


There was nothing else

That I could do

Nothing else

That I could say

Other than

To remind them all

That it’s just

Another day

Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could




I know
the truth


you had

Is lost

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

Naughty Or Nice?

Only ever

Fleetingly happy

But always

Desperately sad

Forever trying

To be good

Whilst contemplating

Being bad

(Originally Posted 24.12.2019)

It’s Not Wonderful For Everyone

This is my favorite time of year

He said

With these scents of cinnamon and pine

As I endure the merriment of others

She said

I thank fuck for cheese and wine

(Originally Posted 24.12.2021)

A Distinct Lack Of Merriment

All those years

All those lists

When all I wanted

Was to eat and get pissed


Not only is it the time of year for giving

But the time for receiving too

You’ve no idea how glad I am

There’s no more bullshit gifts from you

(Originally Posted 19.12.2020)

Season’s Beatings

I fucking hate Christmas

Just like Christmas hates me

Walking on eggshells all day

Faking smiles around a tree

I learned when I was five

Santa doesn’t deliver for free

That he prefers ‘good little girls’

And the one he favoured that year was me

As an adult I’ve tried to make it better

To erase him from my memory

But I still fucking hate Christmas

Just like Christmas hates me

‘Glad All Over’

I’m glad you’ve had

A good few days

I’m glad they were

‘The best’

I am also glad

You were nowhere near me

For that alone

I am blessed

The Ballad Of Boxing Day

Is that it now

He said

Have the bells rung out?

I cannot eat another sprout

Oh shut your face

She said

All you’ve done is moan

You’ll be spending next year

On your fucking own

Christmas Dinner

I really
can’t be

I’d rather
just stay
in bed

I’m not in
the mood for
such jollity

as I do, instead

‘Lonely This Christmas’

I remember when we stayed in bed all day

And just ate crisps and cheese

I remember when I surprised you with gifts

And you couldn’t have been more pleased

I remember when you chatted with my Gran

And you were welcomed by my crazy clan

I remember receiving your last present

Sent to me all the way from heaven

I miss you so much today

That you’re not here is a shame

As Christmas Day without you

Will never be the same


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