Tag: emotions

Self Loathing

I wish
I could
see in
myself,

She
said,

What you’ve
seen since
our affair
began.

For that
you’d need
to love
yourself,

He
said,

And I
don’t
think
you can.

2

A Hollow Victory

I
suppose
that’s
the
end
of it

Now
all’s
been
said
and
done

I
hope
you
find
it was
worth it

Now
that
you
think
you’ve
won

5

Liars

Let’s
all
raise
a glass

And
make a
drunken
toast

To all
those
cruel
bastards
out there

Who
claim
they
love us
the most

7

In My Eyes

No one
sees
me as
anything
more

Than a
sad and
lonely
depressed
old bore

A pathetic
waste of
space for
sure

Just
another
nuisance
to ignore

8

Questions from The Other Side

How do you
want me to feel?

Guilty for trying?
Because I am not.

Guilty for crying?
Because I am not.

Guilty for lying?
Because I am not.

Guilty for dying?
Because I am not.

10

Tight Lipped

I’m
not
trying
to be
mean

Or to
cause
yet
another
scene

So before
my fuse
is well
and truly
blown

Please
just piss
off and
leave me
alone

0

For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would just
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

6

Tug Of War

Please
don’t push
me away,
he said,
I only want
to make sure
you’re okay

Please
just leave
me alone,
she said,
I am much
better left
on my own

2

A Hopeless Romantic

You’ll
never
be the
one for
me,

So why
can’t I
just
leave
it alone?

Why do
I keep
getting
my hopes
up,

When
you’ve
made your
feelings
known?

10

A Little More

As I fall
apart
a little
more
each day

I wonder
if I’ll
always
feel
this way

How
much
lower
can I
sink?

Who will
pull me
back
from the
brink?

14

Emotional Flux

The guilt
I feel
when
I smile

Consumes
my day
and night

Perhaps I
should
just wait
a while

Before
thinking
it’s alright

7

Misled

You say
it’s not me,
it’s you.

But
you’re
a liar.

And we
both know
that’s true.

13

Car Trouble

Nothing makes this better

Everything makes it worse

A body straining in first gear

And a mind stuck in reverse

22

Let

I let
myself
down
today

When I
let you
inside
my head

I wish I
could
just let
you go

And let
myself
enjoy life
instead

8

Double Take

It’s only
now I
realise
I’ve
played
this all
wrong

And it
actually
should
have
been
you all
along

3

Sunrise

I woke
up crying
again today

So much so
I struggled
to breathe

How much
longer must
I endure this?

When is
there an end
to this grief?

10

Done

Fuck you,

And your pathetic little smile.

Fuck you,

And your poisonous bile.

Fuck you,

And your disingenuous chatter.

Fuck you,

For you no longer matter.

At all,

To me.

7

Killing Time

Why do I
find the
wait so
hard?

Is it
ego?

Is it
pride?

Or is it
because
I need you
to prove

That I’m not
completely
dead
inside?

2

Trip Wires

If
love is
not what
you say

But
what
you do
instead

Then
you’ve
fucked
up

On
both
counts
mate

So be
careful
where you
tread

11

Pout

It
hurts
to smile

After
a
while

So you
start
to pout

As your
insides
turn out

2

Sleep Is Futile

What’s the
point in
going to bed

With all
this shit
inside my head

It’s not
like I’ll be
allowed to rest

With this
sickness deep
inside my chest

4

Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

6

Three Wishes

She stops
and sighs
as he
implores
her to stay

But I don’t
think you can
help me,
she says,
turning away

He looks
and smiles
as he
reaches for
her hand

Just trust
me, he says,
for your
wish is my
command

8

Your Smile

Even though
my heart
currently
resides
in the
deep freeze

Your smile
still has
the power
to make
me go weak
at the knees

7

Not Long Now

Each day
brings another
false hope

And an earth
shattering
new low

I’m really just
biding my
time now

Waiting
until it’s my
turn to go

0

Let’s Go Back

This was the wrong choice
Said the spider to the fly
I think we should return

I suppose you’re right
Said the fly to the spider
When will we ever fucking learn?

4

Let’s Go

Fuck this shit
Said the spider to the fly
I really can’t be arsed

I agree entirely
Said the fly to the spider
I’m done with this farce

16

Robert

Your
melancholic
madness
dances
rings
around
my
heart

As
you
smudge
your
eyes
with
kohl

And
slash
your
lips
with
crimson

2

Speechless

There is so much
I want to tell you

So many things
I want to share

But my tears flow
all over again

When I realise
you’re not there

3

Apathy & Deception

How the
fuck am
I going
to get
through
today
when I
can’t even
open my
eyes?

Why the
fuck am
I even
bothering
today
when
my life
is just
a myriad
of lies?

6

Our Waltz

My joy
is in your
weakness.

Your solace
is in my
pain.

Both
forever
destined,

To dance
together
in the rain.

2

The Back of the Wardrobe

I foolishly
made a
mistake
today

I opened
the box
I’d hidden
away

Where the
memories of
my life
are kept

Along with
all the silent
tears I’ve
wept

0

No Air

It’s too hot to think
as I sit here on the brink
of yet another nervous breakdown…

4

Not Today

No-one can shield me,
from this pain within.

Nothing can soothe me,
now the rot has set in.

4

The Trip

I’m done
with
this shithole
today

I’m packing
up and
running
away

Far
from where
the sun
can catch me

And to where
the pleasure
of pain
distracts me

0

The Time Waster

I cannot
believe
after all
this time
I’m still
stuck in
your trap.

Quietly
putting up
with your
bullshit and
listening
to all
your crap.

If I have
to spend one
more minute
with you
I think
that I’ll
be sick.

Never
before
have I
wasted my
time on
such an
arrogant
little prick.

4

Depression (Part 2)

Eat until you’re sick
Snap until you bruise
Run until you’re limp
Drink shit loads of booze

Spend until you’re skint
Sleep until you’re sore
Cry until you’re empty
Sleep around like a whore

Shout until you’re hoarse
Cut until you bleed
Work until you drop
Smoke a shedload of weed

Lie until you’re spent
Smile until you’re alone
Write until you’re wrung
Forget all you’ve ever known

3

Dwelling

Pain helps, momentarily.

It provides a fleeting relief.

Then the numbness returns.

And living inside this emotionless abyss, continues.

0

Crutches

I fear
I have
lent on
you once
too often,
and now
you are
as broken
as me.

I should
never have
asked for
your help,
to be
honest,
as now
you’ll never
be free.

0

The Office

Momentory conversations

With temporary people

Sharing fleeting emotions

Providing non-permanent relief

0

At Her Majesty’s Pleasure

You were keen to kidnap my kindness
and you were happy when you hijacked my heart.

You smiled when you stole my soul
and you laughed when you looted my life.

So why is it me that has been sentenced to life in this prison?

While you’re walking around out there scot-free?

2

Incurable

Grief is like
an incurable
disease.

Taunting
your
thoughts.

Decimating
your
desire.

Liquidating
your
love.

6

How Are You?

It’s easier to say I’m alright, rather then I’m anxious.

It’s easier to say I’m okay, rather than I’m outraged.

It’s easier to say I’m better, rather than I’m broken.

It’s easier to say I’m good, rather than I’m grieving.

It’s easier to say I’m well, rather than I’m wasted.

It’s easier to say I’m fine, rather than I’m fucked.

0

I Love You

If I met you again,
For the first time,
I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d do it all again,
Exactly the same,
Taking you under my wing.

But I should have,
if I could have,
told you that
I loved you
more.

Perhaps then
my life now
wouldn’t be
so difficult
to endure.

0

I, Robot

The kindness of others never ceases to amaze me…

…But my inability to replicate it does.

0

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