Tag: experience

The Wisdom Of Age

The older I get

She said

I’ve realised

That the timing

Will never be right

You’ve just got to go for it

She said

And to not

Be so uptight

4

Glassy Eyed

This isn’t the most painful

She said

Or the worst hardship

I’ve endured

My armour’s doing fine

She said

Though I’m not too sure

About yours

9

That Evil Within

I’ve seen what lurks

Inside you

Despite what you’re trying

To show

And it’s clear, in fact

Your crawling back

Just confirms what

I already know

2

Spilled Guts

To acclaim and adulation

Of late I’ve been besieged

But that’s just what happens 

When your mind blackens 

And suffers a containment breach

(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog)

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Never To Be Seen Again

Though I caught his eye

As he said goodbye

I couldn’t quite tell

If he would jump

But when he didn’t show up

Later on that month

I knew to the bridge

He had succumbed

4

Another Kick In The Teeth

There was once a time

When I could go home

Shower

And wash myself clean

But now there’s no let up

No matter how hard I scrub

From the pain

My body has seen

5

Pyrrhic Victories

Why even try

In the end

Why bother

To believe

There’s just

Disappointment

And a lack 

Of enjoyment

No matter what

We try to achieve

2

Gordonstoun

I felt sorry for him

The boy on the train

Said he’d ran away

From school again

Told me his parents

Just didn’t care

There was nothing,

But misery,

For him there

2

Merciless

In amongst

All the bullshit

There’s one thing

That’s still true

I might scream and curse

And make matters worse

But I’ll never be a cunt

Like you

0

‘4 Real’

My poems are not

Very nice

Particularly warm,

Or fuzzy

But they do resonate

With those desolate

And who prefer their words

Bloody

4

Excess

What day even is it?

She said

As she opened the fridge door

I’ve got no idea

He said

But I can’t eat any more

4

Age-Old

Do you know what I have learned

She said

In all my time here on this earth

Forget about the bridges you’ve burned

She said

And value your own self worth

4

It Never Lasts

Things can only get better

He said

If you keep up this attitude

It’ll be gone within the day

She said

Along with my good mood

0

Liberté d’Expression

I know that it must seem

She said

Like I’m arrogant and self centered

But that’s not it at all

She said

I just write how I feel uncensored

0

Universal

She said she’d written it

About herself

When I saw her

On TV

But there’s no way

She could portray

The exact same feelings

As me

0

Gritted Teeth

The hardest part

About being depressed

Isn’t crying

Every day

The hardest part

About being depressed

Is pretending

You’re OK

8

Onto Better Things

Back in the day

The words flowed freely

And I knew just what

To impart

But I’ve recently found

Since my new love’s in town

That for poems,

I’m no longer arsed

4

Straight Up

If you knew

Anything about me

You’d know that shit

Isn’t my style

I’d say

To your face

That you’re a cunt

And not hide it

Behind a smile

6

The Spooky Wifie

I wonder

If you’ll remember

All those things

You said to me

The last time

That we sat

In this room

Drinking herbal tea

I recall you had

A deck of cards

Asking me pick

Just three

Using them, then

As your guide

To set

The spirits free

I knew back then

It was bullshit

And now I don’t

Feel differently

But if indeed

You do remember

To your ‘gift’

I will concede

2

Pushover

Sometimes

I regret

What I said

And how often

I showed you

The door

As it never seemed

To matter

How your heart

Was shattered

You’d always

Come back

For more

0

In The Doldrums

Tongue tied

Dead inside

Lying

On my bed of nails

Forever lonely

Seeing true love only

In films

And fairy tales

6

Futility

The lights go out

In the blink of an eye

And there’s nothing left

But to say goodbye

0

Short Changed

You do not need

To put me first

And I would never ask you to

But it would be nice

If, once or twice,

You thought of someone

Other than you

3

Widows

We need support

When traumatised

Not to be attacked

Or demonised

Something we wish

That you’d realise

When losing them

Leaves us paralysed

4

A Reflection

Why are you so depressing

He said

Why are your words so dark

Because my life is fucking distressing

She said

And so, therefore’s, my art

10

Take My Advice

If you find my words too dreary
Then just scroll on, my dear
‘Cause if you are looking for cheery
There’s nothing for you here

2

Raising A Glass

At your wedding toast

Yesterday

I did not cry one bit

Even when I glanced

Upon your first dance

I held it in

With an iron like grit

For what I wouldn’t do

Is ever tell you

How seeing you so happy

Did hurt

And that, at times,

If just in my mind

I did wish your happy day cursed

6

Vengeance

As you stand there

Wailing and weeping

Just be glad they’re all dead

And not just sleeping

2

Top Of The Pops

When those bands
Of old
Don’t speak to you
And the comfort
Of music
Is gone

It won’t matter
Where
Because
I’ll be there
To help you
Carry on

2

“I’ll Probably Never See You Again…”

When I first started 
Posting here 
I was struggling 
To hold on
A deep sadness
Had engulfed me
And all 
Of my hope 
Was gone 

My partner 
Of nigh on
Twenty years 
Had died
Just four months 
Before 
My heart 
Was broken 
And my life,
A token, 
I was failing
To endure 

Because, you see, 
He'd been taken
From me 
In the most horrific way
To witness 
If you've never seen it
I can tell you, 
With feeling, 
Cancer's a cunt
Of an illness 

So I began
To write again
As a way 
To express 
My emotions 
Thinking, 
At best, 
I might get 
Some rest
By recording
My rambling notions 

I knew
From the start 
Some readers 
Would baulk
At the truths 
That I'd lay bare
Suicidal thoughts 
And self harm, 
Of course, 
All referenced 
Without a care

But I had to be 
Authentically me
And reflect 
What I 
Was feeling 
Even though I knew 
The words 
I'd spew 
May leave 
More sensitive readers
Reeling 

And yet here 
I have found
Such a welcoming crowd
Who've helped me
Hugely 
When times were tough 
For their patience,
Kindness, 
And understanding 
I could never 
Thank them 
Enough 

So if you find
From here on in
That I'm no longer posting
As often 
Please know that you are, 
In no small part, 
The reason
I've started 
To soften 

And as for me 
Well, I will see
If I can continue 
To reduce 
My pain
But I'll take
Some comfort
And feel
A little triumphant 
Knowing, 
At least, 
I entertained 

❤️
72

In Retrospect

That’s the problem

With the past

As humans,

We tend to rose tint it

When in actual fact

If we really look back

It wasn’t quite like

How we wished it

Misrepresentation

The old days

Weren’t that good

Trust me,

I remember

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

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All That Study, And For What?

I’ve seen so many

Of them now

You’d think one

Would’ve broken through

But not one

Of their degrees

Has helped cure

My disease

Or informed me

Of what to do

The Trick Cyclist

I’d
like to
cancel my
appointment

I don’t
want
to see
you today

What’s
the point
in getting
out of bed

When
you can’t
help me
anyway?

(Originally Posted 25.02.2020)

4

Stark

Sometimes,

As a writer,

All that you can do

Is to drop

The flowery language

And just tell

The fucking truth

In Memoriam

There is nothing

Left to do

There isn’t anything

Else to say

I just really

Fucking miss him

Every single day

Xxx

(Originally Posted 25.02.2022)

4

All You Need To Know

I know I’d suggested

Greeting cards

But as I see the humour in this

Perhaps I’d be more suited

To writing less convoluted

Patient information leaflets

The Human Rattle

Take
these
pills

To
cure
your
ills

And
mend
your
broken
heart

They’ll
give
you
chills

And
delay
your
thrills

But at
least
it’ll
be a
start

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

2

Poorly Made

It’s not that I have

A heart of stone

I just don’t have one

At all…

The Driest Of Wells

Sometimes I wish

That I cared

About everything

You said

But as I have

Already declared

I’ve no tears left

To shed

(Originally Posted 09.02.2021)

8

Fuck Them

It’s too long a story

To explain why

But I’ll stand by this

Until the day I die

Toxic

Blood
isn’t
thicker

Than
happiness

(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)

0

Random #280

‘“In my world, I am constantly torn between killing myself or everyone around me.”

– Ragnar

0

Resourceful

Don’t

Underestimate

Those who

Are damaged

As we’ll

Always find

A way

To manage

Stand Well Back

I’ve
never
thought
of myself
as strong

But I
suppose
I have
stuck
it out
this
long

Although
somewhat
broken,
bloodied
and
bruised

I’m
very
much
still
here
to light
the fuse

(Originally Posted 02.02.2020)

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