I hear you
Snoring
Through the wall
And wonder if
I’ll ever sleep
At all
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I hear you
Snoring
Through the wall
And wonder if
I’ll ever sleep
At all
Is it really
Any wonder
Why I no longer
Sleep with men
When all they’ve done
Is let me down
Time
And time again
For the first time
In a long time
I felt myself
Today
Full of lumps
Bruises and bumps
Yet I still took
My own breath away
I just thought
I’d call
He said
To check
That you’re ok
You are
So very kind
She said
To care for me
That way
I’ll also ask
While I’m on
He said
If there’s anything
I can do?
I’m sure
I’ll be fine
She said
To me this
Is nothing new
Cowering
Here
Pride
On the floor
Crippling
Fear
You’ll be back
For more
These scars
Are the
Remainder
Of everything
You killed
So now
They’re my
Reminder
That I know
How to rebuild
Scream
And shout
All you like
But it
Won’t change
A thing
Because if
This bluster
Is all you
Can muster
Then there’s
No chance
You
Will win
If we take away
The anger
The frustration
And the pain
It’s pretty clear
Neither one of us
Has anything
To gain
When you said
I should leave
I did what
You asked me to do
I used that day
To run away
From everything
I knew
All those years
You took the blame
For me pressing
Self destruct
When, in truth,
It was just an excuse
That I used
To get fucked
You ain’t
All that
You’re no
High-flier
In fact
You’re a twat
As well
As a liar
It’s ok
If you want
To stay
I will be
The one
To leave
But just
Remember
When they find out
It’s my loss
They will grieve
When those thoughts
Enter your head
Do you cut them off
Stone dead?
Or do you sometimes
Squint through the blur
To see what a cunt
You really were
Don’t you want to get better?
No, she politely replied
I think folks would be happier
If I just quietly died
A heart
Dejected
Words
Neglected
People
Rejected
Yet challenge
Accepted
What is life
He said
Without a little risk?
There’s testing the limit
She said
And then taking the piss
Now that all
Is said
And done
I know
That you
Were never
“The one”
Do you ever miss him?
All the time, she said
Each night I cry
Screaming “why?”
As I lay down
In our bed
Do you ever miss him?
Never once, she said
The second he’d gone
I just moved on
To someone else
Instead
You can tell me ’til
You’re blue in the face
But there’s no way
That I’ll hear it
It may sound cliché
But for me to stay
You’ll just have
To let me feel it
Fancy coming up
He said
For a night
Of unbridled bliss?
I shouldn’t think so pal
She said
After all,
I’ve heard you piss!
Are you some kind of freak
He said
When someone pees
You listen in?
It honestly can’t be helped
She said
These walls
Are paper thin!
Sometimes I wonder
If you were asked
What it is
You’d say
About me
Would you describe
All that time
We spent
Together
As happy?
You want advice?
I’m full of it
She exuberantly claimed
On any topic or theme
I can intervene
And so help to ease your mind
I can think of nothing worse
She sighed
Than spilling my guts to you
Because all I’d hear back
Is a load of crap
From your asinine point of view
It doesn’t matter
Who was right
Or who
Was fucking wrong
We both did
The worst
And equally
Got hurt
By stringing
Each other along
That’s it
I’m done
I have had
Enough
There is no
More smooth
To soften
The rough
And I know
That I seem
Pretty hardy
And tough
But trust me
I’m made
Of nothing like
The stuff
You cannot say
You didn’t know
Or that I wasn’t clear
When I said no
The fact that you
Were “just a kid”
Will never justify
What you did
It’s not me you want
It’s her, over there
With the sparkly eyes
And the perfect hair
But I’ll play along
And my feelings, ignore
After all I’ve done it
Plenty times before
It’s nice to see
How you are with me
Is in no way chauvinistic
But as for your chance
When it comes to romance
I wouldn’t be too optimistic
If only times
Were different
Then our lives
Could truly flourish
But as it is
This life is shit
With love like ours
Not encouraged
If what you say
Proves to be true
Then I will give
Myself to you
But if what you say
Proves to be false
Then I’ll rip you apart
Without remorse
Slowly
I walk
Along
The bridge
Resisting
The urge
To jump
But
I feel
The ringing
In my ears
And my heart
Begin
To thump
Now
I have felt
This way
Before
And
I recognise
The slump
So I go
In search
Somewhere
Else
For these
Feelings
To dump
As life
Moves on
And time
Goes by
It gnaws
At my soul
Whilst bleeding
Me dry
It really does
Beggar belief
How much
There is
To learn
About grief
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