Tag: fear

The Long Dark

There are some nights

That never stop

Even when you look

That silent clock

Just seems

To stay the same

Time appears

To have stopped

And although you lie

There and watch

You know that everything

Has changed

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Showdown

The day

Is getting closer

The hour

Is drawing near

Will I find a way

My truth to say

Or will I simply cower

In fear

2

My Only Option

Frozen with fear

In the dead of night

I shed a tear

And hold on tight

As I pray to you

To see me through

Hoping this time

You’ll hear my plight

2

My Unhappy Place

Not only is my bed

Still a blessed sanctuary

But back then,

Believe you me,

It was entirely fucking necessary

Fear

I’m
going
back
to bed

It’s
not
worth
staying
awake

From
these
thoughts
in my
head

I need a
fucking
break

(Originally Posted 04.04.2020)

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Back In The Saddle

I thought I was prepared

For when my body I bared

Albeit I’d be a little jumpy

I just didn’t expect

When you kissed my neck

The road ahead would be so bumpy

10

Expectation

If all I had to do

Was tolerate you

Then really

You should’ve just asked

It was when I thought

You wanted more

That I totally

Fucking cracked

22

Tease

So I’ve recorded some of my poems

And I don’t think they’re half bad

Who knew that in speaking

There’s so much fun to be had

But now I’m in a conundrum

As I need to make a choice

Do I stay safely anonymous

Or finally reveal my voice?

70

The Long Hello

I walked past your house

Every day

But never knocked the door

—–

I watched as you passed

Every day

And always hoped for more

18

Running Scared

In case you don’t come back

He said

You did really well today

Thank you very much

She said

But I don’t believe a word you say

6

Fuck You Death

Fuck you death

She said

You really don’t scare me

That’s what you all say

He said

But through your lies I see

25

Jigsaws

You should be here with us. 

Reciting these stories,

Reminding us of the facts,

Pointing out the details,

Bringing these memories to life.

We didn't realise, back then,

We'd need to remember it all.

As one day you wouldn't be here,

To connect the dots... 

(Originally Posted 13.03.2019)

4

Leap of Faith

Why not
let me
show you
some magic,
he said,
as they lay
on the
laminate floor.

Your attempt
to woo me
is tragic,
she said,
but in
her heart
she wasn’t
so sure.

(Originally Posted 19.06.2019)

15

‘Thank You, But No…’

If this is how life is going to be

Then I wish to play no part.

I have neither the strength nor the desire

To risk another broken heart.

(Originally Posted 19.05.2019)

21

Wars Of Attrition

Some people stay together

And hate every second of it

But as they’re bound by tradition

They put up with each others shit

They’re worn down day after day

But are far too scared to leave

For of a life full of happiness

They cannot possibly conceive

26

Random #45

Try to imagine a life without timekeeping.

You probably can’t.

You know the month, the year, the day of the week.

There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car.

You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie.

Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored.

Birds are not late.

A dog does not check its watch.

Deer do not fret over passing birthdays.

Man alone measures time.

Man alone chimes the hour.

And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures.

A fear of time running out.

The Time Keeper – Mitch Albom

5

Alone

It’s
just
fear

That’s
all
it
is

That
when
push
comes
to
shove

It’ll
all
end
like
this

6

Fear

I’m
going
back
to bed

It’s
not
worth
staying
awake

From
these
thoughts
in my
head

I need a
fucking
break

12

Sanitised

Don’t
come
anywhere
near
me

I don’t
know
where
you’ve
been

There’s
no way
you are
touching
me

Until
your
hands
are
clean

13

Surreal

It is
just so
unbelievable

That things
have come
to this

Who or
what will
save us?

As we
stare into
the abyss…

14

Virulent

Whilst
social
distancing

And just
about
subsisting

To what
we are
witnessing

There is
no point
resisting

8

Sink Or Swim

When
change
is
thrust
upon you

It
really
makes
you
wonder

Can I
make
it to
pastures
new

Or
will I
just fail
and go
under?

0

Toothache

I know
it’s
rotten
inside

Every
morning
I can
taste it

I’ll just
wait until
the nerve
has died

And then
then it
can be
extracted

16

The Anniversary

It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.

For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.

Xxx

17

Prey

The
wolves
are on
their
hunt
again

I can
hear
them
whine
and
howl

They
are
already
stalking
me I
know

As
you’ve
told
them
where
to prowl

0

Creaky Floorboards

Tonight is
the first time
I’ve felt real fear

Being
home alone
without you here

What if someone
breaks in during
the night?

Will I survive
now you’re not
here to fight?

4

The Act

I can act like I’m happy,

I can act like I’m there.

I can act like I’m over it,

I can act like I care.

But it’s all to avoid having to admit,

That I’m just really fucking scared of life.

Without you.

0

Monsters

They are always there,
Gnawing away at my brain.

One day I will kill them,
And I shall smile again.

0

Night Terrors (Part 1)

I sense you,
stalking me from behind.
I won’t let you win.

I see you,
prowling outside my window.
I won’t let you in.

I hear you,
scratching at my door.
I won’t let you win.

I feel you,
gnawing on my bones.
How did you get in?

0

Living with Hypochondria

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

I get headaches. 
Crushing, pounding headaches.
Cannot finish cigarettes, 
because of the headaches.

I'm always itching,
Skin crawling.
Can't stay in one position for too long,
 as my bones ache.
Sickness burns in my stomach,
constantly queasy.
My sleep patterns are disturbed.

I have bruises on my arms and legs, 
Lumps and bumps everywhere.
I feel dizzy all the time, 
Stumbling when I walk. 
I cannot concentrate my mind.
My own wheeze wakes me up. 

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

But there's no way I can see a doctor. 
I'm too scared for that.
They might just confirm I'm really ill,
after all...

6

Sleepless in Riddrie

It's when I think about you the most.
In the wee small hours,
When I can't sleep.
Because of you.

It's your fault.
I say it often and it's true.
You have no right to make me feel the way you do.
Constant simultaneous conflicting emotions.

I know it's just sex between us.
But I feel more.
I know it's not the same for you.
You love another, after all.

I feel more of a connection.
Not just physically but mentally too.
I know when you are going to call or send a message.
It's no surprise: I sense it.

But I am scared.
I don't know the rules to your game.
I don't have the capacity to learn.
Perhaps I never will.

It's okay for you.
You have been here before.
But I know you will get sick of me, eventually.
And I won't know what else to do.

Xxx
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The Bridge

Today, I choose not to jump.

Tomorrow, who knows.

I am already standing too close to the edge…

 

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Sleeping In

I wait for it to come, but it never comes.
The words of the song drown out my silence.
But still I feel alone.

The candle flickers wildly by my side.
I lay awake, my eyes stalking every shadow.
The walls bear down upon me gazing with their hostile stare.
I dig myself further and further into the bed.

What exactly is it that I'm scared of?
Why can't I let go?
Which train of thought is it that I dare not break?

 

 

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