‘“In my world, I am constantly torn between killing myself or everyone around me.”
– Ragnar
Fooling No One
I really am sorry my friend
He said
But I can’t do much with that
The only thing I could recommend
He said
Is that you start wearing a hat
The Barber’s Secrets
Feeling
the
tension
In
the
air
He
dare not
mention
Your
thinning
hair
(Originally Posted 18.01.2020)
Maybe Next Year…
I know it’s only
One year on
But I’m still quite proud
Of this
Yet if I’ve had one thought
It’s that I should’ve sought
A better word
To rhyme with Elvis
Until Next Year…
As the calendar page turns once more
We are granted our reprieve
Thank you so much Mariah
Now you can fucking leave
Take that whiny choirboy with you
And that dick who thinks he’s Elvis
Bing and Bowie can piss off too
With their ‘pa rum pum pum pum’ bullshit
We’re happy to wave you off John
Although your message is appreciated
Best take your mate Paul with you though
Before we have his keyboard castrated
It’s time to step out and away now Elton
With The Jacksons, Jonah and Chuck
And as for the ‘NYPD choir’
We couldn’t give less of a fuck
We’ll really only miss you George
Like we do nearly every day
So perhaps, this year, we could keep you
Instead of giving you away
(Originally Posted 29.12.2021)
Obviously
He was right
As it turns out
As it only took me
A minute
To abandon the joy
I’d tried to employ
As I had reached
My limit
Whatever You Say
I’m going to be happy today
She said
And push this sadness from my mind
I’ll give you half an hour
He said
And even then that’s being kind
(Originally Posted 28.12.2021)
Fucking Fluoxetine
I enjoyed my trip
Up to the heavens
Albeit for just
Those thirty seconds
One Night Only
This bed’s not big enough
For the both of us
So I’ll be the one to leave
We should just be glad
For the time we’ve had
And the little bit of reprieve
(Originally Posted 06.12.2020)
Saviours Take Many Forms
I cannot imagine
I meant the Jesus
In the title of this piece
As it’s far more likely
To be a Jesús
Who’d make me go weak at the knees
Christ On A Bike
It
truly
is a
wonder
To see
such a
glorious
sight
My
heart
beats
like
thunder
As my
body
sings
with
delight
(Originally Posted 25.11.2019)
Old Movies (2)
“Of all the gin joints
In all the world…
She walks into mine”
“I hope he doesn’t think
I came here for him
As I just fancied
A soda and lime”
Old Movies (1)
Come
death
come,
as fast
as you
can
As
frankly
my dear,
I don’t
give
a damn
(Originally Posted 04.11.2019)
Birds Of A Feather
It still amazes me
To this day
That you even read my rhymes
Don’t get me wrong, my friend
It pleases me no end
But I do worry about you, at times
Wonderland
It’s nice
to think
I matter
That what
I feel is
shared
But really
I’m as mad
as a hatter
Surely no one
else is this
impaired?
(Originally Posted 25.10.2019)
Pot-Valiant
2,995 posts
And one pickled liver later
It’s a good job
That I didn’t stop
Or I’d never have put pen to paper
Drinking
I fear
I’ve had
one too
many
tonight
Perhaps
now isn’t
the time
my story
to write
(Originally Posted 18.10.2019)
A Way Of Life
Maybe she’s born with it…
Or maybe she’s just clinically depressed…
Moods
Ups and downs,
Peaks and troughs,
But the darkness?
That never stops…
(Originally Posted 10.10.2019)
Twisted
I actually quite like this one
It makes me laugh each time I read it
Though I do wonder, sometimes,
If there’s enough in my rhymes
For other people to see it
Romeo & Juliet (Alternative Version)
When
you think
about it,
he said,
true love
never dies.
Oh great
she said,
here we go,
another
hapless
fuckwit
to despise.
(Originally Posted 02.10.2019)
Being Toyed With
As I have never
Loved again
From that day
To this
I cannot help
But wonder
If someone up there
Is taking the piss
I Can’t Tell You
I can’t
tell
you
how
much
better
I feel
To
know my
feelings
I need
no
longer
conceal
I
can’t
tell you
how much
more open
I am
now
To the
possibility
of loving
someone
again,
someday,
somehow
(Originally Posted 11.09.2019)
Bien Sûr
Well you certainly seem happier
He said
This is the busiest I think you’ve been
I’ve always done my best work
She said
When fuelled by carbs and caffeine
Auberge de Lanouaille
You
should
use
this
time
to
think
He
said
About
what
it is
you
want
Only
if you
bring
me
coffee
She
said
And
a hot
buttered
croissant
(Originally Posted 05.09.2020)
Here, Rub This
It seems her wish
Wasn’t his command
Nor was ensuring
Her needs were met
This became
Pretty obvious
When they went back
To bed
Three Wishes
She stops
and sighs
as he
implores
her to stay
But I don’t
think you can
help me,
she says,
turning away
He looks
and smiles
as he
reaches for
her hand
Just trust
me, he says,
your
wish is my
command
(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)
Hamlet Is My Favorite, Obviously
Check me out
Getting all high brow
Quoting Shakespeare, no less
To help describe how
Hard it can be
When fighting off sadness
Even if there is method
In it’s madness
Shaking Spears
‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions ‘
‘Tell me about it, my friend, that’s why we fucking deserve medallions’
(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)
Mixed Results
There are those cut out
For DIY
And those who simply are not
You were always one
Who may have had fun
But were never as good as you thought
Xxx
Precipice
Grab
onto
this
He
said
It’ll
be
okay
It’s
one
I made
myself
I’m
not so
sure
She
said
That
it’ll
be
safe
I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf
(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)
It Was Only A 10p Mix Up
Based on a true story this
From when I was about six or seven
I stole some sweets
So the owner called the police
In order to teach me a lesson
I have always felt
He was a little harsh
And his reaction was over the top
But I guess I learned then
Never to steal again
Well, at least not from his shop
Cops & Robbers
Caught with
my hands
in the
sweetie jar
I retreat,
shamefaced,
when I
hear a
police car…
Who the
fuck has
called
the cops?
I only
stole
a few
pear
drops…
(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)
A Diamond In The Rough
Perhaps I do have a sense of humour.
Sometimes.
Out of Shape
In a world full of cubes,
I’m a dodecahedron.
Overly complicated.
(Originally Posted 07.08.2019)
Just A Tad
Melodramatic?
Me?
Never!
The Night Shift
Is it
too late
to phone
in sick?
For life…
(Originally Posted 31.07.2019)
Est. 1980
When you won’t decide
One way or the other
Known colloquially
As a ‘contrary little fucker’
That’s me
Indifference
Sometimes I do
Sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I will
Sometimes I won’t
Either deal with it
Or don’t
I’m not fussed either way
(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)
Too Much Of A Good Thing
I should have gone with him that day
Instead of just staying in
As all I have to show
Now for saying no
Is one hell of a double chin
Better Plans
Shall we go out today
He said
Have a blast and give it our all
I’m afraid I already have a date
She said
With pizza, beer and football
(Originally Posted 14.06.2021)
Told You
I bumped into her
The other day
And it seems my prediction
Was right
As from what she said
He was so shit in bed
They didn’t even last
The night
Love’s Young Dream
Dance, you fools, dance
Dance far away from me
For I’ve seen all of the romance
That I need to see
I know only too well
How all this bullshit ends
Give it a year,
Maybe two,
And you won’t even be friends
(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)
Random #206
“I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic. It’s what I do.”
– Lorelai Gilmore
Random #204
‘Cause everyone is horrid
Except me and possibly you…’
Harder Than It Looks
My only haiku
A skill I do not possess
Best not try again
Searching For A Haiku
Out walking alone
Serotonin in winter
Remains elusive
(Originally Posted 17.05.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
You must be logged in to post a comment.