To find out if
It’s eternal damnation
Is the worst kind
Of anticipation
Bad News
The
wait
is
almost
worse
than
the
call
itself
(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
To find out if
It’s eternal damnation
Is the worst kind
Of anticipation
Bad News
The
wait
is
almost
worse
than
the
call
itself
(Originally Posted 15.09.2020)
Widowed when you're 38
He said
That's my plan for you
Well all I can say to that
She said
Is seriously, fuck you
(Originally Posted 14.4.2019)
You
calledMy
LordBut
didn’t
waitFor
the
answerI
was
appalledMy
LordTo
find
youSuch
a chancer
I
really
can’t
explain
itThis
feeling
I have
insideI
just
don’t
want
to be
hereAnd,
God
knows,
I’ve
tried
Life is
just so
cruel
at timesIt
makes
me want
to shoutFor if
there is
a God
up thereWhat the
fuck is
all this
about?!
I wish I believed.
It’s heartening to see those of faith comforted from words set down so many years ago.
It’s uplifting to hear the voices of the choir soar alongside such stirring melody.
It’s inspiring to gaze in wonder at those beautifully stained glass windows like so many before me.
Truly.
But I don’t believe. In anyone or anything.
I’m not sure if I lack the inclination or imagination. Or both.
I am glad there are those that can be lifted from their darkest moments by the arms their God.
Sadly, the only person who will rescue me…is me.
And I’m not sure I have the strength.
If I survive this
it will be a miracle.
But I don't believe in God,
Sadly.