Tag: grief

Why I Walked Away

They just assumed

I was better

Because they

Had all forgotten

So I’d just pretend

For months on end

As we had

Fuck all left

In common

0

Lost Voices

I’ve forgotten

What you sound like

Now

And it cuts me

Like a knife

I’m not sure if

I can cope

With such a silence

In my life

4

Just Watching TV

I don’t really know

What happened

I’m not sure

Why I cried

Something

Just reminded me

Of how I felt

The day he died

You were amazing

With me

Your words

So soft and kind

Your touch

Helping to soothe me

Drying the tears

From my eyes

I know

That I struggled

To tell you

At the time

Just how much

I loved him

And truly miss

That man of mine

Yet what I’m sorry

I couldn’t say

But really

Wanted to

Is how happy

I know he’d be

To see

That I’ve found you

0

Un Merveilleux Malheur

I don’t think

I’ve missed you

More than I have

Today

There was nothing

I could do

To help push

These feelings away

And even though

It is now

Nearly twenty six years old

I have realised

My love for you

Will simply

Never grow cold

Xxx

8

“Coping By Not Having To Cope”

When he died

And you’d nothing left

How did you deal

With the emptiness?

I filled it up

With pills and gin

In the vainest of hopes

I could forget him

And did you find

That it worked

They helped wash away

The pain and hurt

Some days did feel

Like less of a chore

But, in the end, the grief

Got too big to ignore

7

The Gradual Loss

It seems

The inevitable

Has happened

And I have finally

Gone mad

As I’m starting

To forget

The good things

Instead

Of just the bad

12

Dragging It Out

Another hour

Another day

Wishing I didn’t

Feel this way

Another second

Another minute

Life sure is shit

Without you in it

Xxx

3

At The Widows Support Group

Do you ever miss him?

All the time, she said

Each night I cry

Screaming “why?”

As I lay down

In our bed

Do you ever miss him?

Never once, she said

The second he’d gone

I just moved on

To someone else

Instead 

8

Shadows

They say

You are

No longer here

But I see you

Clear as day

I hear you

Talking

In your sleep

As I while

The hours away

They want me

To think

It can’t be true

That I’m mad

And must take

A pill

But I know you

Will never leave

And I am not

Mentally ill

4

Saturday

It wasn’t written 

In the stars

Or foretold through 

Your wanky cards 

It was just by chance 

We met that day 

And I wouldn’t have had it 

Any other way

Xxx

4

Disappointment

I wanted
Your hands 
To feel 
Like his 

To have one
More night
Of unbridled 
Bliss 

But as soon
As we touched 
Let alone
Kissed

I knew
From now on
It would feel 
Like this
0

For Clarity

I know

That we

Have

Hardly

Spoken

But my

Insides

Are now

Broken

And what

Is left

Merely

A token

Of the

Woman

I used to be

2

Flimsy

It never ceases to amaze me

How quickly the tears can flow

At some moment of nostalgia

Or sentimental TV show

I guess it’s just indicative

Of how most days I can deal

But just beneath the surface

Lurks a trauma yet to heal

2

“I Was Sorry To Hear About Your Dad…”

I remembered what

It was like today

Back when that pain

Gnawed away

When his death broke me

To the sum of my parts

And my mental health

Was off the charts

And although with her

I did empathise

I couldn’t be false

Or tell her lies

So I whispered the truth

As I’ve come to accept it

Although time does heal

It can never correct it

0

Welcome Interruptions

I’ve found if you socialise enough 

Sometimes, it actually works 

Then it’s only when 

You’re alone again 

That it really fucking hurts 

4

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