Tag: grief

Never In A Million Years

I know

You think

I’m better

She said

That I’ve spent

All these years

Healing

But just because

I don’t

Say his name

She said

Doesn’t mean

I’ve forgotten

A thing

0

Hearing Things

I spoke

To you

This morning

And I swear

I heard you

Respond

But then

It hit me

There’s no way

It could be

When you’ve

Been gone

So long

Xxx

1

Still Standing

I haven’t

Really done much

In my forty six years

On Earth

There’s nothing of note

To really show off

That has any value

Or worth

But one thing

I am proud of

If you can excuse

My indulgence

Is I’ve survived the days

When, deep in a haze,

I really thought

I fucking wouldn’t

8

Canto 38

You may say

It’s better

To have loved

And lost

Than never to

Have loved

At all

But if what happened 

To me

Happened

To you

You wouldn’t have

The fucking gall

2

With The Fishes

Grief

Is like

An ocean

All vast,

And dark,

And deep

It ebbs

And flows

In waves

Through

Dark nights

And days

Never truly

Going

To sleep

4

Everything After

Life does go on,

You know

But you’re never

Really

The same

You just

Get good

At doing what

You should

So you can keep on

Playing

The game

2

After The Funeral

Walking home

In the rain

Knowing I’ll never

See you again

My heart hangs heavy

My eyes shut tight

Knowing there’s no way

That I’ll last the night

4

Gut Punch

Just as you

Start to think

You can cope

With anything

It comes along

To prove you wrong

And you’re left,

Reeling

0

Forever Changed

The day

They die

Isn’t the worst

It’s every day

That follows

With nothing left

You exist, bereft

As your heart

Hangs empty

And hollow

0

Happiness, Impeded

I thought

I would

Be better

If I could just

Forget

About you

But it’s proving

Too hard

With a heart

This scarred

To move on

With anyone new

5

Thanks For Nothing

I can’t believe

You’ve left me

Alone, and

In this position

I never agreed

To this bullshit

Nor did I give you

Permission

0

Why I Walked Away

They just assumed

I was better

Because they

Had all forgotten

So I’d just pretend

For months on end

As we had

Fuck all left

In common

2

Lost Voices

I’ve forgotten

What you sound like

Now

And it cuts me

Like a knife

I’m not sure if

I can cope

With such a silence

In my life

4

Just Watching TV

I don’t really know

What happened

I’m not sure

Why I cried

Something

Just reminded me

Of how I felt

The day he died

You were amazing

With me

Your words

So soft and kind

Your touch

Helping to soothe me

Drying the tears

From my eyes

I know

That I struggled

To tell you

At the time

Just how much

I loved him

And truly miss

That man of mine

Yet what I’m sorry

I couldn’t say

But really

Wanted to

Is how happy

I know he’d be

To see

That I’ve found you

0

Un Merveilleux Malheur

I don’t think

I’ve missed you

More than I have

Today

There was nothing

I could do

To help push

These feelings away

And even though

It is now

Nearly twenty six years old

I have realised

My love for you

Will simply

Never grow cold

Xxx

8

“Coping By Not Having To Cope”

When he died

And you’d nothing left

How did you deal

With the emptiness?

I filled it up

With pills and gin

In the vainest of hopes

I could forget him

And did you find

That it worked

They helped wash away

The pain and hurt

Some days did feel

Like less of a chore

But, in the end, the grief

Got too big to ignore

7

The Gradual Loss

It seems

The inevitable

Has happened

And I have finally

Gone mad

As I’m starting

To forget

The good things

Instead

Of just the bad

12

Dragging It Out

Another hour

Another day

Wishing I didn’t

Feel this way

Another second

Another minute

Life sure is shit

Without you in it

Xxx

3

At The Widows Support Group

Do you ever miss him?

All the time, she said

Each night I cry

Screaming “why?”

As I lay down

In our bed

Do you ever miss him?

Never once, she said

The second he’d gone

I just moved on

To someone else

Instead 

8

Shadows

They say

You are

No longer here

But I see you

Clear as day

I hear you

Talking

In your sleep

As I while

The hours away

They want me

To think

It can’t be true

That I’m mad

And must take

A pill

But I know you

Will never leave

And I am not

Mentally ill

4

Saturday

It wasn’t written 

In the stars

Or foretold through 

Your wanky cards 

It was just by chance 

We met that day 

And I wouldn’t have had it 

Any other way

Xxx

4

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