Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

18/02/2023 0

A King Sized Longing

Lying in bed

Late at night

I turn over

With a sigh

I reach out

With my hand

But it’s empty

Where you’d lie

Xxx

31/05/2021 13

Left Guessing

Time moves on

Yet I’m stood still

Fading away

Losing the will

As each second

Passes me by

I can’t forget

Or stop asking why

19/01/2021 14

Sleeping Around

Try
as I
may

With
all
of my
might

I
have
no
idea

Where
I’ll
sleep
tonight

14/07/2020 9

Atonement

I
won’t
forgive

And I
can’t
forget

You
maybe
can

But
I’m not
there yet

06/04/2020 15

Postponing The Inevitable

If time
isn’t on
our side

Then
what the
fuck is?

If it’s
all out
of our
hands

Then
what’s
the point
in this?

02/04/2020 13

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone?

What
about
love?

He
asked

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

I’ve
lost
it all

She
replied

Her
face,
ashen

18/02/2020 0

Tittle Tattle

It’s
not
that
I’ve
started
to talk

It’s
more
that
you’ve
never
listened

11/02/2020 17

Soul Bar(e)ing

I
mourn
the loss
of us

More
than
the loss
of you

23/01/2020 17

Pointless Resolutions

Well,
that’s
another
year
nearly
over

And
what
have
I
done?

Nothing
but
prepare
for
another
year
of
misery

Just
like
the
last
one

31/12/2019 14

Wondering Late At Night

Would I
have made
a different
choice

If I had
never
heard
your
voice?

Would I
live in a
different
place

If I had
never
seen
your
face?

Would your
death have
hurt me
this much

If I had
never
felt
your
touch?

30/12/2019 13

(The Ghost Of) Christmas Past

I hope
you have
a nice day

Please enjoy
it while
you can

For soon
you’ll lose
everything

In a way you
could never
understand

25/12/2019 8

Regime #7

I think
these pills
have
stopped
working

They
have
become
just a
token

For
they no
longer
take away
the hurting

From a
heart
that is
already
broken

23/12/2019 11

Identity Crisis

In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you

22/12/2019 8

Name That Tune

People play
those songs

With no notion
of this pain

No idea that
when I hear them

My heart bleeds
for you again

18/12/2019 8

Afterlife

You still
rescue
me in so
many ways

Even
from
beyond
the grave

15/12/2019 4

Helpless

This grief
is all
consuming

Who knows
when it
will end

As not only
have I lost
my lover

I have
lost my
best friend

11/12/2019 16

Gone For Good

What is broken

Cannot be replaced

For our footsteps

Can never be retraced

10/12/2019 3

Nothing Left

I
loved
you

And
you
loved
me

Now
my
penance

Is to
never
be
free

To
love
again

08/12/2019 4

Buried

No one
ever
loved me
like you

And now
I’ve lost
it all

So with
no one
left to
turn to

Towards
the hole
I crawl

07/12/2019 6

Bleeding

It feels
like I’ve
been robbed

Of the
only love
in my life

This pain
runs deep,
she sobbed,

As it cuts
through me
like a knife

05/12/2019 8

Thank You

I never
would
have
pulled
through

If I
didn’t
have
you to
turn to

For
all my
bullshit
you cut
through

And
showed
me a love
that’s
true

04/12/2019 4

Sunset

I’m glad I came here today,

There’s nowhere else I’d want to be.

I’m glad we travelled all this way,

Just you and me.

Xxx

01/12/2019 2

To The Minute

There’s nothing
else to do

There’s nothing
else to say

For my love was
lost to me forever

One year
ago today

Xxx

01/12/2019 14

Somewhere Out There

I’m sure
your star
shines
brightly,

Up
there
in the
sky.

I
search
for it
nightly,

But it
always
passes
me by.

29/11/2019 5

Polaroid Memories

I can no
longer
look at
at your
face

My
eyes I
have to
sheathe

For
tears
begin
to flow
at pace

And I
can no
longer
breathe

27/11/2019 6

Many A Moon

As that
day draws
ever closer

The pain
cannot be
avoided

To think
it was just
a year ago

When my
whole world
imploded

27/11/2019 0

Poison

What
once
runneth
over

Is
now
empty

What
once
was
painless

Now
there’s
plenty

25/11/2019 0

The Narcissist

Words
can
never do
justice

To the
utter
hatred
I feel

For all
the pain
you’ve
caused me

For these
wounds
that will
not heal

You are
just
utterly
contemptible

Truly
bitter
and
twisted

To try to
make amends
now is
lamentable

As from
now on
you never
existed

20/11/2019 11

I Reckon I Could

I reckon
I could
manage
today

If I
could
see
your
face
again

I reckon
I could
find
a way

If I
could
hear
your
voice
again

I reckon
I could
try to
be okay

If I
could
hold
your
hand
again

I reckon
I could
probably
stay

If I
could
kiss
your
lips
again

17/11/2019 6

Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

17/11/2019 3

‘Some Sunny Day’

Maybe
one day
we’ll meet
again

But no one
knows
if that’s
true

So until
such time
as that day
may come

I’ll just
lie here
and dream
of you

15/11/2019 13

‘Up Where We Belong’

You
once
were
mine

But
now
you’re
gone

I was
once
on
cloud
nine

Now I
can’t
even
see
cloud
one

13/11/2019 2

One Year Ago

If I
just
don’t
think
about
it

Then
maybe
that
day
won’t
come

I’m
just
not
sure
I can
face it

When
all
is
said
and
done

11/11/2019 15

The Pits

Darkness
swirls
inside
the pit of
emptiness
as it
screams
and
sprawls
around
me

Perhaps
I should
take
heart
now
that the
pit of
loneliness
is
behind
me

09/11/2019 8

Amnesia

All those years

I’ll never get back

Not that it matters

Now I’ve faded to black

07/11/2019 4

Not Everybody Hurts The Same

Privacy
is not
allowed,
it seems

When
you’re
trying
to grieve

People
get pissed
off,
it seems

If you don’t
wear your
heart on
your sleeve

03/11/2019 6

What’s The Point?

It
feels
like
I’ll
never
laugh
again

As my
life
is so
full of
sorrow
and pain

Like
I’ll
no
longer
be able
to smile

And
that
nothing
I do will
ever be
worthwhile

01/11/2019

Clueless

You
think
you
know

But
you
have
no clue

What
I’ve
had to
let go

Or
what I
still go
through

30/10/2019 4

Speaking In Tongues

I
miss
your
kiss

That
much
is
true

There’s
no
one
else

That
kisses
like
you

29/10/2019 8

Tell Me

Do
these
tears
ever
stop?

28/10/2019 0

Down

I can’t
do anything
any more

All I do
is sit
and stare

Questioning
myself all
the time

Moaning
how life
isn’t fair

In truth
I actually
bore myself

So fuck
knows why
you care

25/10/2019 10

Masochism

Every time
I hear
this song

It brings
tears to
my eyes

And pain
to my
heart

A reminder of
all I’ve come
to despise

And how
we’ll forever
be apart

I should
just press
stop

Switch
off the
laptop

And
walk
away…

24/10/2019 0

Our House

Nothing in this house
makes sense anymore

Madness lurks
behind every door

Memories of all
the love we swore

Leave my head in a spin
and my heart on the floor

20/10/2019 10

Flowers

You never
once
bought
me flowers

Which used
to make
me mad

Now I don’t
give a fuck
about any
of that stuff

I just
want you
back

20/10/2019 3

Keeping Busy

It’s been
a busy
few days

In
many
ways

But now all
my tasks are
completed

So with
nothing
left to do

I’ll soon
be thinking
of you

And how
I’ve been left
feeling cheated

17/10/2019 10

The Anniversary

It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.

For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.

Xxx

17/10/2019 17

Undeserving

I’ll
never
fall
in love
again

Not
that
I ever
wanted
to be

Love is
for those
with
delicate
souls

And
not
for the
likes
of me

17/10/2019 14

Inevitability

I’m
not
sure

I can
give
any
more

I think
I’ll
have
to stop

There
is
nothing
left

Now
I’m
bereft

But to
wait
for the
other
shoe
to drop

16/10/2019 12

From Beyond The Grave

There’s no
such thing
as a sign,
she said

Apart from
when you
need one,
he said

14/10/2019 2

Emotional Flux

The guilt
I feel
when
I smile

Consumes
my day
and night

Perhaps I
should
just wait
a while

Before
thinking
it’s alright

13/10/2019 7

Acceptance

I
asked
the
doctor

When
will the
tablets
work?

When do
they take
away my
hurt?

Nothing
will
do that,
she said

Tablets
only
make it
easier to
get out
of bed

I
asked
the
doctor

Are
you
sure?

Won’t
you do
something
more?

There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said

You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead

12/10/2019 12

Healing

Some
days

You are
so close
to me

Some
days

You
are so
far

Some
day

I’ll have
nothing to
remind me

Other than
this scar

11/10/2019 9

Please, Be Kind

You have
no idea
what’s
going on

Inside
this
grieving
heart of
mine

09/10/2019 5

Haunted

Death
peers in
through
the gloom

As I
lie here
alone in
this room

Upon
this bed
we once
shared

Crying for
the love
we once
declared

06/10/2019 7

What I Feel Inside

This shadow

Is too hard
to explain

But it’s
reared it’s
ugly head again

Wailing and
moaning
and gnashing
it’s teeth

The only
way out
is to
hide
beneath

Hoping
and
praying
one day
it’ll
let me go

And I’ll
be freed
from
the pain
of this
enduring
sorrow

05/10/2019 14

Then And Now

I
was
so
happy
back
then

But
now
I’m
full
of
woe

I’m
definitely
not the
carefree
person
I was
a year
ago

03/10/2019 6

The Black

It’s only
when you
reach the
bottom

You
realise
there’s no
way back

You
know then
you’re too
far gone

But all
you can
see is
The Black

02/10/2019 4

Emptiness

At one time
perhaps
I would have
said yes

But the
desire now
I no longer
possess

Should you
ever try
your love
to profess

To this
emptiness
inside I
would confess