Thank you
So much
For your
Concern
But I
Am doing
Just fine
I don’t feel
I need to
Be healed
So your offer
I must decline
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Thank you
So much
For your
Concern
But I
Am doing
Just fine
I don’t feel
I need to
Be healed
So your offer
I must decline
You’d think
That after
All this time
You’d know
What you did wrong
How you hurt me
So viciously
By stringing
Me along
But it seems
All that
Is lost on you
From what I’ve heard
You share
So I’ll care not a jot
In telling you to fuck off
And just leave you
Hanging there
Now you come
Begging for love
Cap in outstretched hand
But I know better
And I will never
Erase my line in the sand
Incomprehensible
It’s all
just so
fucking
bizarre
How the
tables
have
turned
With
things
now as
they are
And
what we
both have
learned
(Originally Posted 26.02.2020)
Cuts that were made
Long ago
Given time do
Eventually heal
But their scars
Will remain
To remind you
Of the pain
You couldn’t reveal
No Sharps Please
The
cut
on
my
wrist
Has
now
healed
As
I was
told
not
to
pick
it
The
delicate
skin
Is
now
sealed
So
I will
try
not
to
nick
it
Again
(Originally Posted 02.07.2020)
I’ve always been drawn
To water
Knowing it’s nearby
Is very relaxing
There’s been many a time
It has calmed my mind
And saved me
From fully collapsing
Down By The River
It’s so peaceful here.
Quiet. Serene.
If only the incessant chatter in my head would quieten down,
I might just be able to enjoy it.
(Originally Posted 29.06.2019)
“No one else is carrying the aftermath trauma you have endured inside their body. They are not paying the concequences. They are not managing the recovery.
Therefore their opinions are secondary to any and all things that help you heal.”
– Nate Postlethwait via @mindful_tom
Time heals
Or so they say
Well, let me tell you
They fucking lie
Time does nothing
But march on
And you’re left
With no right to reply
It was she
Who stopped my hands from shaking
She
Who stopped my head from aching
She
Who stopped my voice from quaking
So why can’t she stop
My heart from breaking?
It’s like reading
Someone else’s words
Listening
To someone else’s story
But the heartache
And the pain
That’s still all mine
Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again
Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand
Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care
Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit
(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)
Sometimes it's easy to think about you.
Our memories overwhelm me,
I feel the touch of your hand in mine,
and my eyes sparkle with joyous delight.
Sometimes I can't think about you at all.
My brain shuts off the pathway to the pain,
My lungs stop taking in air,
and my heart, momentarily, stops beating.
Sometimes it's easy to talk about you.
Words fall from my mouth,
stories flow like vintage wine,
and my smile is as wide as the horizon.
Sometimes I can't talk about you at all.
Sentences fail to form in my head,
my voice dries up like a parched riverbed,
and my mouth is clamped like a vice.
(Originally Posted 22.03.2019)
Life goes on,
now I’m alone,
as tears wash
over me
like rain.Time moves on,
as I come undone,
with fear that
I’ll never
love again.(Originally Posted 10.07.2019)
‘Choppy waters ahead, Captain, but I see dry land on the horizon’.
‘Drop anchor here then, Sailor, for I’d prefer to die in the storm’.
(Originally Posted 27.03.2019)
The
cut
on
my
wrist
Has
now
healed
As
I was
told
not
to
pick
it
The
delicate
skin
Is
now
sealed
So
I’ll
try
not
to
nick
it
Again
I’m
only happyWhen
I’m dreamingOf
you
Some
daysYou are
so close
to meSome
daysYou
are so
farSome
dayI’ll have
nothing to
remind meOther than
this scar
There is so much
I want to tell you
So many things
I want to share
But my tears flow
all over again
When I realise
you’re not there
Time will heal
Hearts can mend
Until then accept
This is the end
Eat until you’re sick
Snap until you bruise
Run until you’re limp
Drink shit loads of booze
Spend until you’re skint
Sleep until you’re sore
Cry until you’re empty
Sleep around like a whore
Shout until you’re hoarse
Cut until you bleed
Work until you drop
Smoke a shedload of weed
Lie until you’re spent
Smile until you’re alone
Write until you’re wrung
Forget all you’ve ever known
I tried really hard today.
To laugh.
To be normal.
To forget.
And I managed, for a while.
But still I lie in bed here, freezing, hoping to go to sleep and dream of you.
I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m forced to remember you, tomorrow.
Forced to remember those torturous nights.
Forced to remember those heart breaking conversations.
They were so private, so personal, so intense.
Those words only ever destined to leave your lips and reach my ears.
There will be others there that feel the same way about their loved one, I’m sure.
And there will be others there just to watch. To steal someone else’s story to tell as their own.
Fuck them.
I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m forced to remember you, tomorrow.
I just wish you were still here.
And that I didn’t have to go.
You must try harder, he says.
Harder to smile,
Harder to laugh,
Harder to forgive,
Harder to forget,
Harder to live again,
Harder to love again.
You must try harder, he says.
I can’t, she whispers
I’m sorry.