Tag: illness

Peachy

As the juice

Runs down

My fingers

Those feelings

Diffuse

Yet the malady

Lingers

2

Is It Really The Kindest Thing?

The worst is when

All hope is gone

And you know that they

Can’t carry on

When the end is coming

At them hard

And all that’s left

Is wounds and scars

That’s when you wish

They could call it a day

Instead of just watching

Them waste away

4

All That Study, And For What?

I’ve seen so many

Of them now

You’d think one

Would’ve broken through

But not one

Of their degrees

Has helped cure

My disease

Or informed me

Of what to do

The Trick Cyclist

I’d
like to
cancel my
appointment

I don’t
want
to see
you today

What’s
the point
in getting
out of bed

When
you can’t
help me
anyway?

(Originally Posted 25.02.2020)

4

Mind Games

It’s only when

The meds kick in

That you realise

The truth

The only person

On that ward

Being fooled

Was you

Psych Ward 101

Just keep calm

Don’t let them see

They’ll leave you alone

If you just agree

(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)

2

Jusqu’à La Fin

I still loved you

Down to your bones

Even without

Those dulcet tones

Xxx

Robbed

I wish
you
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever

The
voice
of my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

0

One In Four

I think we both knew

Deep down

That she would soon

Become another

That you’d be left

A husband bereft

And your kids

Without their mother

Now I know

That she had longer

And to her death

You had all faced up

Still it pains me so much

To see you

In the Under 50’s

Widow’s club

The News Nobody Wants

I hope
it all
goes well
today

I hope
with
all my
heart

For I
couldn’t
bear
for you

To live
as I
now do

And
have
your lives
torn apart

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

1

I’d Never See You Again

If I revealed

The truth about me

It would shatter the illusion

Now, I know you’d say

You wouldn’t care anyway

But I couldn’t deal with the conclusion

For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would
completely
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

(Originally Posted 25.10.2019)

0

Fuck Cancer

I will keep saying it

Until I am blue in the face

That I was effectively widowed

At thirty eight years old

Is an absolute fucking disgrace

Leaving

Now it’s
time
for me
leave

Please
don’t
make a
fuss

It’s not
the end
of the
world

It’s
just
the end
of us

(Originally Posted 08.10.2019)

12

Taking Back Control

I know what you did

That day

How you made sure

Your pain

Stopped

Were You Afraid Of Dying?

It
was
awful
to see
you
waste
away

Neither
of us
knowing
why

Now
my
only
hope

Is
you
are
smoking
dope

At
that
great
gig in
the
sky

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

2

Died

And
then

He
did

Duped

You
must
never
leave
me

She
said

For
I
would
fall
apart

I’ll
stay
with
you
forever

He
said

I could
never
break
your
heart

(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)

6

‘I’ll Take All The Blame’

Not only did I fail myself

But I also failed you too

I hope one day

You’ll forgive me

For everything I didn’t do

Xxx

Failure

I pride myself on my planning

I write lists day after day

I schedule my time wisely

So that nothing gets in the way

I prepare for every eventuality

Without a pause for breath

But the one thing I didn’t account for

Was your untimely death

Xxx

(Originally Posted 10.05.2021)

3

A Full Refund

Once upon a time

When I was ill

I truly believed

That this was it

I couldn’t see

Anything else for me

But another day

Drowning in shit

But now life is better

I have found

And I can finally

See a plan

So it is time

To return that rope

As quickly

As I can

7

An Unnatural Order

You were always going to die

Before me

We were resigned to that fate

But it shouldn’t have been

When you were forty five

And I was thirty eight 

Xxx

15

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

8

All The 8’s

And so it begins

The incessant counting

The overthinking

The fear mounting

That impending doom

Will certainly strike

If I do not get

This pattern right

8

Troubled

Staying
up
late
again

Sitting
here
all
alone

Unable to
shake this
creeping
feeling

That
I really
should
have
known

10

Around The Corner

It’s
true
that
life
is
short

But
for
some
it’s
shorter
still

They
never
even
see
it
coming

Let
alone
have
made
a
will

6

Handover

You’ll
never
cope

She
said

When
this
happens
to you

I
know

He
said

I’m
dreading
it too

2

Alone

It’s
just
fear

That’s
all
it
is

That
when
push
comes
to
shove

It’ll
all
end
like
this

6

Surreal

It is
just so
unbelievable

That things
have come
to this

Who or
what will
save us?

As we
stare into
the abyss…

14

Virulent

Whilst
social
distancing

And just
about
subsisting

To what
we are
witnessing

There is
no point
resisting

8

I’m Here All Day…

I’ve
slept
most
of the
night
tonight

And I
haven’t
yet
got
out
of bed

I wish
I could
say
I am
ill or
something

But
it’s
actually
just
apathy
instead

9

Recouperation

There’s
nothing
like
being
looked
after

By
those
who
love
you
the
most

There’s
nothing
more
nourishing
than
laughter

And
being
brought
rounds of
hot buttered
toast

17

Earthquakes

I’m
surprised
you are
coping
so well

Given
all
that
has
happened

I
felt
like my
world had
fallen in

And
that
my life
had been
flattened

2

Pulling The Plug

You did
it on
purpose,
didn’t
you?

Don’t
worry,
it
didn’t
show.

But I
knew
you
had
decided,

That
it was
time
for you
to go.

Xxx

9

With Me

Your
words
tattooed
on my
brain

Forever

Reminders
of how
we faced
that
pain

Together

8

I Wish I Could

I wish
I could
have made
you better

I wish
I could
have made
it go away

I wish
I could
have taken
the pressure

I wish
I could
have made
you stay

11

Shouting Skywards

Life is
just so
cruel
at times

It
makes
me want
to shout

For if
there is
a God
up there

What the
fuck is
all this
about?!

10

Robbed

I wish
we
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
your
voice
forever

The
sound
of my
best
friend

2

Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take your
pain away

Tell
you that
everything
will be okay

But
I know
the truth

They
don’t
get
better

And
then
what
you had
is lost

Forever

2

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
that I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

And give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

8

Cancer

It was
all just
so fucking
unfair

You were
taken from
me without
a care

With what
seemed like
no time at
all to prepare

We had no
choice but
our souls
to bare

Xxx

2

The News Nobody Wants

I hope it
all goes
well
today

I hope
with
all my
heart

I just
couldn’t
bear it
if you

Had to
live the
way I
now do

And for
your lives
to be torn
apart

4

A Different Coat

I cried for
hours this
morning

I found your
notebook in
my pocket

Now I’ve
started to
read it

I don’t
know how
to stop it

10

For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would just
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

6

Run Like The Wind

After
every
high

There is
the inevitable
low

And she’s coming
for me again,
I know

I feel her
getting closer
and closer each day

And this time
she’s going
to make me pay

2

The Robbery

Your illness
robbed you
of your life

And it
robbed me
of my mind

Your death
still cuts me
like a knife

So to
madness I’m
now inclined

11

Incurable

Grief is like
an incurable
disease.

Taunting
your
thoughts.

Decimating
your
desire.

Liquidating
your
love.

6

Living with Hypochondria

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

I get headaches. 
Crushing, pounding headaches.
Cannot finish cigarettes, 
because of the headaches.

I'm always itching,
Skin crawling.
Can't stay in one position for too long,
 as my bones ache.
Sickness burns in my stomach,
constantly queasy.
My sleep patterns are disturbed.

I have bruises on my arms and legs, 
Lumps and bumps everywhere.
I feel dizzy all the time, 
Stumbling when I walk. 
I cannot concentrate my mind.
My own wheeze wakes me up. 

There is something wrong with me.
I just know it.
I don't feel right.
I haven't for sometime now.
I don't know what it is.

But there's no way I can see a doctor. 
I'm too scared for that.
They might just confirm I'm really ill,
after all...

6

Mild Peril

I trace those old scars with my finger
I remember the fleeting pain
And the lasting relief

I never told anyone

I hope I'm not about to re-open old wounds

Literally
0

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