Mind Games

It’s only when

The meds kick in

That you realise

The truth

The only person

On that ward

Being fooled

Was you


Psych Ward 101

Just keep calm

Don’t let them see

They’ll leave you alone

If you just agree

(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)

Jusqu’à La Fin

I still loved you

Down to your bones

Even without

Those dulcet tones

Xxx


Robbed

I wish
you
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
that
sound
forever

The
voice
of my
best
friend

(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)

One In Four

I think we both knew

Deep down

That she would soon

Become another

That you’d be left

A husband bereft

And your kids

Without their mother

Now I know

That she had longer

And to her death

You had all faced up

Still it pains me so much

To see you

In the Under 50’s

Widow’s club


The News Nobody Wants

I hope
it all
goes well
today

I hope
with
all my
heart

For I
couldn’t
bear
for you

To live
as I
now do

And
have
your lives
torn apart

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

I’d Never See You Again

If I revealed

The truth about me

It would shatter the illusion

Now, I know you’d say

You wouldn’t care anyway

But I couldn’t deal with the conclusion


For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would
completely
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

(Originally Posted 25.10.2019)

Fuck Cancer

I will keep saying it

Until I am blue in the face

That I was effectively widowed

At thirty eight years old

Is an absolute fucking disgrace


Leaving

Now it’s
time
for me
leave

Please
don’t
make a
fuss

It’s not
the end
of the
world

It’s
just
the end
of us

(Originally Posted 08.10.2019)

Taking Back Control

I know what you did

That day

How you made sure

Your pain

Stopped


Were You Afraid Of Dying?

It
was
awful
to see
you
waste
away

Neither
of us
knowing
why

Now
my
only
hope

Is
you
are
smoking
dope

At
that
great
gig in
the
sky

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

Died

And
then

He
did


Duped

You
must
never
leave
me

She
said

For
I
would
fall
apart

I’ll
stay
with
you
forever

He
said

I could
never
break
your
heart

(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)

‘I’ll Take All The Blame’

Not only did I fail myself

But I also failed you too

I hope one day

You’ll forgive me

For everything I didn’t do

Xxx


Failure

I pride myself on my planning

I write lists day after day

I schedule my time wisely

So that nothing gets in the way

I prepare for every eventuality

Without a pause for breath

But the one thing I didn’t account for

Was your untimely death

Xxx

(Originally Posted 10.05.2021)

A Full Refund

Once upon a time

When I was ill

I truly believed

That this was it

I couldn’t see

Anything else for me

But another day

Drowning in shit

But now life is better

I have found

And I can finally

See a plan

So it is time

To return that rope

As quickly

As I can

An Unnatural Order

You were always going to die

Before me

We were resigned to that fate

But it shouldn’t have been

When you were forty five

And I was thirty eight 

Xxx

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

All The 8’s

And so it begins

The incessant counting

The overthinking

The fear mounting

That impending doom

Will certainly strike

If I do not get

This pattern right

Troubled

Staying
up
late
again

Sitting
here
all
alone

Unable to
shake this
creeping
feeling

That
I really
should
have
known

Around The Corner

It’s
true
that
life
is
short

But
for
some
it’s
shorter
still

They
never
even
see
it
coming

Let
alone
have
made
a
will

Handover

You’ll
never
cope

She
said

When
this
happens
to you

I
know

He
said

I’m
dreading
it too

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