Tag: loss

Emergency Exits

Thinking back

To that night

A split decision

And your plane

Took flight

If I’d known then

What I do now

I’d have grabbed

Your hand

And never

Let go

3

“Coping By Not Having To Cope”

When he died

And you’d nothing left

How did you deal

With the emptiness?

I filled it up

With pills and gin

In the vainest of hopes

I could forget him

And did you find

That it worked

They helped wash away

The pain and hurt

Some days did feel

Like less of a chore

But, in the end, the grief

Got too big to ignore

7

Moving

I remember the day

We got the keys

Thinking the rest

Would be a breeze

But now I sit and rot

All alone

In what should have been

Our forever home

6

A Knife’s Edge

It rears it’s head

This time of year

The feeling of wishing

That I wasn’t here

I’ll try to push through

As best as I can

But I’d be lying to say

It wasn’t still a plan

9

Wreckage

As the thunder claps

And the heavens open

I search through the scraps

Of what you have broken

0

I Didn’t Believe You Anyway

Remember

When you told me

I’d never get hurt again

That it didn’t matter

How my heart was shattered

As there wouldn’t be

Any more pain

Well, you lied

This is worse

0

It Still Hurts

I know

That you’re

In love

With her

But please spare

A thought

For me

I know we

Were bereft

And that’s why

You left

But you were once

Everything

To me

0

Just A Glimpse

When I saw him

Again today

All of that pain

Was washed away

Until I realised

It wasn’t him

And my heart, once more,

Cracked

From within

2

Truth Hurts

Please

Don’t look

At me

That way

I know

What you

Are going

To say

And when

You do

I’ll know

For sure

That what

We had

Can be

No more

0

Sweet Revenge

Do you ever

Think of me

When you’re lying

In her bed?

Because I don’t ever

Think of you

Happy she’s stuck with you

Instead

2

Dragging It Out

Another hour

Another day

Wishing I didn’t

Feel this way

Another second

Another minute

Life sure is shit

Without you in it

Xxx

3

Punching Bags

If we take away

The anger

The frustration

And the pain

It’s pretty clear

Neither one of us

Has anything

To gain

2

At The Widows Support Group

Do you ever miss him?

All the time, she said

Each night I cry

Screaming “why?”

As I lay down

In our bed

Do you ever miss him?

Never once, she said

The second he’d gone

I just moved on

To someone else

Instead 

8

Still Bitter

I hope that you

Are happy now

And you go to sleep

With a smile

But for me to hope

That she doesn’t choke

Is going to take

A while

8

Shadows

They say

You are

No longer here

But I see you

Clear as day

I hear you

Talking

In your sleep

As I while

The hours away

They want me

To think

It can’t be true

That I’m mad

And must take

A pill

But I know you

Will never leave

And I am not

Mentally ill

4

Fleeting

If you get

A chance

Of happiness

You should grab it

With both hands

Take it from one

Whose time

Has gone

And so completely

Understands

5

Lucid Drinking

As I sit here

Nursing a beer

Facing up

To the cold light of day

It is crystal clear

To me now, dear

You never loved me

Anyway

3

Poking The Bear

Now you’ve upped

And left me

Breaking my heart

Again

I wish you nothing

But cruelty,

Emotional torture

And pain

10

The Endless Search

If I could turn

Back the clock

I’d say yes

To that walk

If only the sands

Of time would stop

I’d stay awhile

And talk

But for a return

Through time and space

There is no point

In wishing

If wherever I’d go

Whatever the place

You will still

Be missing

Xxx

10

Saturday

It wasn’t written 

In the stars

Or foretold through 

Your wanky cards 

It was just by chance 

We met that day 

And I wouldn’t have had it 

Any other way

Xxx

4

Piecemeal

As the punches roll

Time takes it’s toll

And I lose more

And more

Each day

I can’t be wrong

Thinking

It won’t be long

Before I fully

Fade away

0

Spoons

It’s only now 

On this 

Winters night 

That I wish

You were here 

By my side

2

On Kindness

I’ll never forget

You sat with me

When I was as sad

As sad could be

And even though

You didn’t agree

You just let me talk

And made me tea

8

Secluded

Slowly 
I walk 
Along 
The bridge 
Resisting 
The urge 
To jump

But 
I feel
The ringing 
In my ears 
And my heart 
Begin 
To thump 

Now
I have felt
This way 
Before 
And 
I recognise 
The slump

So I go
In search  
Somewhere 
Else
For these 
Feelings 
To dump
12

Caught Sleeping

I knew as soon

As we touched

All wasn’t

What it seemed

Yet it still hurt

My heart

When I woke

With a start

To realise

It was a dream

0

Disappointment

I wanted
Your hands 
To feel 
Like his 

To have one
More night
Of unbridled 
Bliss 

But as soon
As we touched 
Let alone
Kissed

I knew
From now on
It would feel 
Like this
0

For Clarity

I know

That we

Have

Hardly

Spoken

But my

Insides

Are now

Broken

And what

Is left

Merely

A token

Of the

Woman

I used to be

2

I Miss That More Than Anything

I remember

Driving to see you

In the middle

Of the night

I didn’t want

To talk

I just needed

To feel your might

Because I knew

When you kissed me

You’d wrap your arms

Around me tight

And that you

Would be the one

To make everything

Alright

Xxx

4

Etched

Give me a pen
And I will trace 
The exact outline
Of his face
Without 
Even
Looking

4

A Swinging Brick

As I sit here

Alone again

Staring

At the wall

I know it’s not

That I don’t

Feel love

It’s that I

Don’t feel

At all

7

Motormouth

I am always here

He said

If you ever want

To talk

We could sit

And have a coffee

He said

Or go out

For a walk

Thank you

For the offer

She said

But I’d really

Rather not

If I start taking now

She said

I don’t think

I’d ever stop

0

Aviemore

As we have found

Where your body has lain

We hope it heals

Your family’s pain

And though they’ll struggle

To see past the rain

Now you can be

Together again

0

Welcome Interruptions

I’ve found if you socialise enough 

Sometimes, it actually works 

Then it’s only when 

You’re alone again 

That it really fucking hurts 

4

The Sins Of Fathers

If I was to meet my father

When he was a younger man

I would ask him some questions

To help me to understand

Like did he ever really love her

That’s what I’d like to know

Why did he defy his parents

If it was all just for show?

Why when he had his own kids

Did he revert back to what he knew

Why treat us the way he had been

What was he trying to do?

But most of all I’d tell him

Of the mistakes he was going to make

And convince him to do things differently

For our relationships sake

6

Fucking Things Up

I didn’t mean

For you to leave

All I needed

Was a break

And now you’ve gone

All I do is dwell on

My unintentional

Mistake

0

Never Again

On this, the day, for Valentine’s

I can’t help but feel

I’ve lost my mind

For there is no peace

That I can find

Now my heart is dead

And my eyes are blind

8

Trivial

I just can’t seem

To complete a task

However big,

Or small

I guess what once meant

Everything to me

Now means nothing

At all

2

Lifeless

Where is your commitment

He said

Your passion and desire?

It all left when he did

She said

Now there’s nothing

That stokes the fire

4

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