Some Hit Harder Than Others

You could have been

So much more

But you drank it all away

I know deep down

Your heart was sore

And that you didn’t want to stay

But I wish you knew

How much we cared

And only wanted the best

Now you’re no longer here

We hope

You are finally at rest

(For O.R)

I Won’t Forget

I still cry for him at night

You know

There’ll never be a time

I won’t

Just because you’re not here

To wipe away

My tears

Doesn’t mean

I don’t

Failure

I pride myself on my planning

I write lists day after day

I schedule my time wisely

So that nothing gets in the way

I prepare for every eventuality

Without a pause for breath

But the one thing I didn’t account for

Was your untimely death

Xxx

Headfuckery

I dreamt
About you
This afternoon
For only
The second time

Then
As I woke up
The silence sent
It’s shivers
Down my spine

Xxx

Mirage

We meet again

And my heart soars

But only in my dreams

Then my heart breaks

All over again

To find all is not as it seems

Funeral Arrangements

I took care of everything

But no one took care of me

Did it even occur to you

All that I had been through

And what was then my reality

Forever Faltering

It’s all too easy

To slip into

This ‘everything is ok’ soundtrack

But you and I both know

It’s all just pretend

Because you’re never coming back

Xxx

For L.

I miss you today

More than ever

Sitting outside in

This stunning weather

If only we could meet again

Even after all this time

As we’d still have

Such a fucking laugh

And drain a bottle (or two) of wine

Cut To Pieces

You were the light

To my shade

The sunshine

To my rain

That is why

I can’t forgive you

For causing me

All this pain

Grief Counselling

Why did you come here

He said

What exactly did you expect

Well they told me if I did

She said

That I’d feel less bereft

Sliding Doors

There will be someone out there

He said

That will be the one for you

What if he’s already gone

She said

I don’t believe there can be two

Writer’s Block

I try to write but the words fail.

Sit, think, smoke, exhale.

As I reach for the coffee cup,

I wonder if my time is up.

Have I forgotten you,

Is that what this is?

The reason I can no longer write this shit?

Or could it be this depression is finally lifting?

Maybe the all encompassing darkness is shifting?

Perhaps after all this time my heart is mended.

And my love affair with words has ended.

(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)

Fate

I wish I’d never met you.

Life would be easier then.

If I’d never met you

I wouldn’t have to forget you.

And I would be happier then.

(Originally Posted 09.03.2019)

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