Tag: memories

Back At The Fintry Inn

I’m not that girl

You used to know

I killed her off

Many moons ago

Now close your mouth

And dry your eyes

As life isn’t all beer

And scampi fries

6

The Gradual Loss

It seems

The inevitable

Has happened

And I have finally

Gone mad

As I’m starting

To forget

The good things

Instead

Of just the bad

12

The Unknowable

Sometimes I wonder

If you were asked

What it is

You’d say

About me

Would you describe

All that time

We spent

Together

As happy?

6

Lucid Drinking

As I sit here

Nursing a beer

Facing up

To the cold light of day

It is crystal clear

To me now, dear

You never loved me

Anyway

3

I Remember

You cannot say

You didn’t know

Or that I wasn’t clear

When I said no

The fact that you

Were “just a kid”

Will never justify

What you did

4

Spoons

It’s only now 

On this 

Winters night 

That I wish

You were here 

By my side

2

Caught Sleeping

I knew as soon

As we touched

All wasn’t

What it seemed

Yet it still hurt

My heart

When I woke

With a start

To realise

It was a dream

0

I Miss That More Than Anything

I remember

Driving to see you

In the middle

Of the night

I didn’t want

To talk

I just needed

To feel your might

Because I knew

When you kissed me

You’d wrap your arms

Around me tight

And that you

Would be the one

To make everything

Alright

Xxx

4

“It Is What It Is”

I hope you don’t mind me asking

He said

But do you think of me

At all?

I’ll remember that night forever

She said

But the rest

I can’t recall

2

Back In Business

I often think

Of that night

And how events

Proceeded

Because being seduced

Was the confidence boost

That I so sorely

I needed

0

“I Was Sorry To Hear About Your Dad…”

I remembered what

It was like today

Back when that pain

Gnawed away

When his death broke me

To the sum of my parts

And my mental health

Was off the charts

And although with her

I did empathise

I couldn’t be false

Or tell her lies

So I whispered the truth

As I’ve come to accept it

Although time does heal

It can never correct it

0

Not In Front Of The Kids

I hear you shout

Through the wall

And realise you don’t

Love her at all 

Then I see you fight

From my bed

And know you won’t stop

Until she’s dead

2

On A Loop

It doesn’t matter

What you do

Or how many fantasies

You suggest

As nothing can beat

The reality

That plays

Inside my head

4

Fuzzy With Time

Imprint those times

On your mind

As it won’t be long

Before you find

What you remember

When they’re dead

Is the all pointless

Shit instead

4

Our Spot

You took my hand

As we crossed the sand

And I knew then

What I still know now

That’s why I come back here

Every year

To talk to you again

Out loud

0

Unplanned

When we said

Goodbye that day

We didn’t know

It would be

Forever

And yet

I’m left

Here alone

With only

Our memories

To treasure

2

Every Rose Has It’s Thorns

There is a tendency

When your partner dies

If thinking back

To romanticise

Every little thing

They ever did or said

To remember nothing wrong

In the years you were wed

But as time rolls by you realise

This wasn’t always the case

And putting them on that pedestal

Is just your grief misplaced

It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them

Or that their death isn’t terrible

But to acknowledge their flaws

Is important because

It makes your life slightly

More bearable

Xxx

Wasted Time

If I regret anything now

It’s all the arguments we had

The silent treatment I gave you

The things I did to make you mad

Now you’re no longer here

I can’t put those wrong things right

And I have no choice but to live with that

For the rest of my fucking life

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

8

Traumatising

There are things

About that day

That out loud

I’ll never say

It’s bad enough

They’re in my head

I don’t need

To hear them said

Pulling The Plug

You did
it on
purpose,
didn’t
you?

Don’t
worry,
it
didn’t
show.

But
I knew
you
had
decided

It
was
time
for you
to go.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)

0

It Doesn’t Take Much

My heart aches just

That little bit more

As I read this

With a sigh

Remembering the time

With your hand in mine

Crying

We said goodbye

Xxx

‘Everything Must Go’

Don’t
say
anything
else

He
said

Please,
just
hold
my
hand

I’ll
stay
until
we
reach

She
said

Our
line in
the
sand

(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)

2

Uproar

So much changes

When your partner dies

Infinitely more

Than you would ever realise

Soul Bar(e)ing

I mourn
the loss
of us

Even more
than the
loss of
you

(Originally Posted 23.01.2020)

0

Rarer

I can get through

Most days now

Without crying

Over you

But sometimes it hits

Like a ton of bricks

And there is nothing

I can do

Recurring

The tears I cried

When you died

Will never fully dry

For with each day

Dawns a new array

Of pain I can’t deny

Xxx

(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)

4

The Widow’s Curse

It’s hard at times

For me to explain

As I want to protect you

From feeling my pain

And it’s never your fault

When I’m triggered like this

But when you hold my hand

It reminds me of his

‘Hand In Glove’

Some days
your hand
fits
perfectly
in mine

Our love
flows freely
and
sparkles
like wine

Some days
I can’t
bear
to hold
your hand

For
reasons
you
couldn’t
understand

(Originally Posted 21.01.2020)

2

Random #269

There was a naughty boy
And a naughty boy was he,
He ran away to Scotland
The people for to see–
Then he found
That the ground
Was as hard,
That a yard
Was as long,
That a song
Was as merry,
That a cherry
Was as red–
That lead
Was as weighty,
That fourscore
Was as eighty,
That a door
Was as wooden
As in England–
So he stood in his shoes
And he wondered,
He wondered,
He stood in his shoes
And he wondered.

4

Random #268

Shaking cream on Christmas Day while listening to Mary of the Fourth Form by the Boomtown Rats

Playing record
my Christmas present
shaking cream
after turkey treat,
lid open, cream spills,
Dad’s jacket ruined
Dad’s temper flares
record broken
Terrible Christmas.

Dad’s Version

Turn music down
Awful hangover
Sean shake cream
I’m starving
What happened?
You’re sorry!
Jacket ruined
My Christmas present
That’ll teach you.
Terrible Christmas.

– Sean Hughes

0

‘the weirdness flows between us’

The worst is in the office

With the radio on

And no-one bats an eyelid

When they play our favourite song

Xxx

Name That Tune

People play
those songs

With no notion
of this pain

No idea that
when I hear them

My heart bleeds
for you again

(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)

0

Imperfectly Perfect

All those memories

Good and bad

Making me smile

Driving me mad

Yet lying here

It makes me sad

As we never knew

Quite what we had

The Old Days

Waking along
this empty street

Splashing puddles
with my feet

I remember when
we used to meet

And my broken heart
skips a beat

(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)

2

(High)lands Reprise

As I stand here

Taking snaps

Comparing them

To years past

I am struck

By the magnitude

Of how much I now

Love my solitude

(High)lands

Let us
roam
amongst
the
heather

Laugh
out loud 
betwixt
the
blether

Kiss
amidst
this
stormy
weather

Until
we
come
undone
together

(Originally Posted 03.12.2020)

2

Unlearning

Why do you still deny yourself

He said

You more than deserve some happiness

It’s like I’ll never be free

She said

From the memory of all the nastiness

Forbidden Love

Come
a little
closer,

He
said,

I want
to see
your
face.

Just
you
stay
away,

She
said,

I daren’t
risk
another
embrace.

(Originally Posted 03.12.2019)

0

‘Purple Haze’

It doesn’t hurt as much

To look nowadays

But I’ll admit

That I don’t too often

As some of the things

We got up to back then

Are probably

Best forgotten

Polaroid Memories

I can no
longer
look at
at your
face

My
eyes I
have to
sheathe

For
tears
begin
to flow
at pace

And I
can no
longer
breathe

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

2

Magnitude

You may well have been dead

Nearly four years to the day

Yet you still have the power

To take my breath away

Xxx

A Different Coat

I cried for
hours this
morning

I found your
notebook in
my pocket

Now I’ve
started to
read it

I don’t
know how
to stop it

(Originally Posted 19.11.2019)

10

Upping Sticks

When I think over

These last few years

I really have suffered a lot

So my house may well

Now be up for sale

But my heart definitely is not

Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)

0

Random #255

“The darkened space of The King’s Head downstairs room. Tuesday nights are set aside for poetry.

Every week they discussed the purpose of poetry in modern society, and every week they came to the same conclusion.

That poetry is enlightenment.

It’s questioning the norm, to try to find an understanding, to push forward ideas, to discover half truths, to open a forum for debate, to bring people together.”

– Sean Hughes

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