"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
“The darkened space of The King’s Head downstairs room. Tuesday nights are set aside for poetry.
Every week they discussed the purpose of poetry in modern society, and every week they came to the same conclusion.
That poetry is enlightenment.
It’s questioning the norm, to try to find an understanding, to push forward ideas, to discover half truths, to open a forum for debate, to bring people together.”
– Sean Hughes
That day
Still comes
Every year
Despite
My avoidance
As it
Draws near
One Year Ago
If I
just
don’t
think
about
it
Then
maybe
that
day
won’t
come
I’m
just
not
sure
I can
face it
When
all
is
said
and
done
(Originally Posted 11.11.2019)
Well I know exactly
What I think of you
All blotchy and balding
At forty two
Now I’m glad we split
At our old school gates
Back when I was seven
And you were eight
High School Reunions
I
wonder
what
You’d
think
of me
now
Fat,
forty
and
fucked
Would
you
still
love me
forever
Want
to be
together
whatever
Or be
thankful
for the
life
you
ducked
(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)
The car is booked
My bags are packed
But I’m not yet sure
If I’m coming back
The Ends Of The Earth
I really
cannot
wait to
drive
All
along
that
rugged
coast
To
settle
in those
mountains
And
mourn
who
I miss
the most
Xxx
(Originally Posted 06.11.2020)
‘I’ll take you up to the highest heights
Let’s spread our wings and fly away’
“What you really want is someone you can hang around with on a Sunday afternoon and watch a TV show with, and do nothing, and feel like it’s the most fun ever.”
– Aziz Ansari
‘Love is a losing game
One I wished I never played
Oh what a mess we made…’
“and we didn’t love each other
but we helped each other forget
that life is shit”
– Sean Hughes
I must be one of those people
Who really gets off on pain
As since he died
On this song I’ve imbibed
Again and again and again
Masochism
Every time
I hear
this song
It brings
tears to
my eyes
And pain
to my
heart
A reminder of
all I’ve come
to despise
And how
we’ll forever
be apart
I should
just press
stop
Switch
off the
laptop
And
walk
away…
(Originally Posted 24.10.2019)
I am guessing
From the title
That this one is about sex
Though I accept the fact
It is pretty abstract
So the truth may well be more complex
Bodies
When you push
And I pull
My head is silent
But my heart is full
(Originally Posted 10.10.2019)
I’ve actually done
Pretty well to be fair
Staying on here
With all this pain to bear
I guess I have found ways
To make it my own
But this place will never not be
Our forever home
Haunted
Death
peers in
through
the gloom
As I
lie here
alone in
this room
Upon
this bed
we once
shared
Crying for
the love
we once
declared
(Originally Posted 06.10.2019)
I have never spoken
About that night
As to betray him
Would be be unfair
He only hit on me
Because he was ill, you see,
And his ability to judge
Impaired
Indiscretion
It was
what
it was
And
whilst
we
had
fun
Now
it is
what
it is
The
guilt
has
begun
(Originally Posted 01.10.2019)
“Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.”
– Oscar Wilde
It was the last round
Music, of course
When I’d already sunk a few
But it was my knowledge
Of old Liverpudlian Soul
That really pulled us through
The Pub Quiz
What was I saying?
What was I..?
Ach, don’t mind me,
I’m drunk.
*Hic*.
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
I can actually remember this
Like it was yesterday
That night when I
Had had enough
And finally walked away
A New Dawn
Everything
changed
when I
walked out
of there
The feel of
the breeze
and the
warmth
of the air
For once
in my life
I just
stopped
fighting
And I
suddenly
found life
much more
inviting
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
“And so, I checked all the registered historical facts
And I was shocked into shame to discover
How I’m the 18th pale descendant
Of some old queen or other”
I can clearly remember
Their wedding day
All of that promise
On display
It’s such a shame
It ended that way
And now love’s young dream
Has faded away
The(ir) Split
It’s
not
about
what
she
did
Or
what
he did
either
to be
fair
It’s
about
how
it has
made
me feel
As for
the
rest
I could
not
care
(Originally Posted 16.09.2020)
I’m sure that we can all recount
How we met our lovers
But some such stories
Of our former glories
Are more significant than others
Xxx
That Split Second
When I saw you
sleeping there
I couldn’t help
but stop and stare
Probably because
I was drunk too
Although nowhere
near as drunk as you
(Originally Posted 15.09.2019)
Our dearest Hobbo
It’s impossible to show
Just how much we’ll surely miss thee
But until when
We may meet again
We’ll have the ever ebullient Brie!
😊🖤
“The ever ebullient Brie; a cheesy story”
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com The ever ebullient Brie, a cheesy story In response to a challenge by Little Charmer The ever ebullient Brie took his mum on a trip to the sea; after spending all day in the sun, the guy was a cheese on the run. Seeking help from his mate, Mozzarella he […]
The ever ebullient Brie; a cheesy story
‘You want it
You’ve got it
You took it all from me
My cheque book, my wallet
My pride and dignity…’
‘Some things are more important than ability’
Advert for a young guitar player, NME, 1989
It happened quite by accident
As when she left the tent that morning
There was no way she could have known
That a whole new era was dawning
But as they both sat drinking wine
With their connection forming
She began to realise, at last,
Her heart was capable of rewarming
The Lost (We)ekend
I
don’t
know how
we got here
But
here
we are
nonetheless
We
should
just make
the best of it
Before
we have
to reassess
(Originally Posted 09.09.2020)
I went back into that bookshop
Just for old times sake
And although they played
A different song today
I still remembered our first date
The Bookshop (1)
I went
in there
just now
The one
I went into
with you
They were
playing
your song
on the radio
And because
you would
have smiled,
I smiled too
(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)
We both met up again last night
And as we held each other tight
We reveled in our connection to you
Before parting in the morning hue
Your Birthday
Yesterday
we
remembered
you.
Together,
in this
city, just
us two.
We laughed,
and smoked
and drank
too much beer.
Both of us
wishing you
were still
fucking here.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)
In this city
I once called home
I know I could never
Feel alone
Coming Home
It’s not
that I
love this
city
It’s that
I love
who I am
when I’m here
(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)
“And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again”
I wrote this one
On a train
Making my way
Back home again
I remember she asked me
Why it was I cried
‘Because he’s dead’
I replied
The Removal Van
All
my dreams
are dead.
All that’s left
is this room
inside my head,
Where you
once lived.
I wish
you’d move
back in.
(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)
“Oh but Glasgow gave me more
Than it ever took away
And prepared me for life on the road”
I made one into a pillow
To keep with me in bed
But there’s no point in denying
I’ve spent many a night crying
Wishing it was you instead
Your Shirt
I still have it.
Your shirt.
I can feel it.
I can smell it.
I just wish you were still here.
Wearing it.
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
It takes me by surprise
Every year
If I can just yet through that day,
I think,
Then everthing will be ok
But it’s not
A Hard Week
Now that
the darkness
has descended
All my
happiness
has ended
Deep into
my soul
I have delved
And all
future plans
I have shelved
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019
I went back to work too early
Of that I have no doubt
But with bills to pay
Much to my dismay
I had no choice but to force myself out
Tuesday
I called in sick for work today.
My heart just couldn’t come out to play.
All I’ve done is lie in bed
Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.
With nausea consuming every movement,
My mood shows no sign of improvement.
I hate existing like this.
Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.
I wonder how much more I can conceal
Before I decide to end it for real
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
‘Ain’t no angel going to to greet me
It’s just you and I my friend…’
My friend had one
Etched with that quote
Back when I was a kid
I’m not sure if
She ever believed it
Half as much as I did
Cinderella, I Am Not
There’s no such
thing as happily
ever after
There is only
heartbreak
and disaster
What you see
in their films
is a lie
As life’s a
bitch and
then you die
(Originally Posted 02.09.2019)
‘In my imagination
There is no complication
I dream about you all the time…’
“It’s better to have loved and lost, surely, but try not to lose it all”
– William Hill
It’s always the little things
That you miss
Like never leaving the house
Without a kiss
Goodbye
Be careful
when you
dismiss me
As one day
I won’t
come
back
(Originally Posted 26.08.2019)
The covid pandemic
Was an awful time
We all lost blood,
Sweat and tears
But for some
The state sponsored
Avoidance of people
Was just a delight
To the ears
Hermitry
What if
I’m
enjoying
the new
normal
That
now I
finally
feel on
track
What
if I’d
like
to stay
this way
With
no
desire
to go
back
(Originally Posted 24.08.2020)
And so they sat,
Together in time,
Talking until dawn.
Not just did they speak,
Of their lives past,
But also of those to come.
Past Lives
I think I remember you,
she said,
I think we’ve met before.
Perhaps it was when I was young,
she said,
and before my heart was sore.
I don’t remember meeting,
he said,
although I really can’t be sure.
Why don’t you sit down now,
he said,
and talk to me some more.
(Originally Posted 24.08.2019)
‘Late at night I can hear your voices
Talking shit about all my choices
You would think you’ve known me forever
Just because you know my name…’
I remember everything about you
Your cardigan, glasses and quiff
If you weren’t so much older
Maybe I’d have been bolder
And asked you out forthwith
Last Chance
Despite my
protests
to the
contrary,
it has
always
been you.
Why not
meet me
at the
library,
and I’ll make
your dreams
come true.
(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)
There are those cut out
For DIY
And those who simply are not
You were always one
Who may have had fun
But were never as good as you thought
Xxx
Precipice
Grab
onto
this
He
said
It’ll
be
okay
It’s
one
I made
myself
I’m
not so
sure
She
said
That
it’ll
be
safe
I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf
(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)
A bit niche, perhaps…
But if you know, you know
‘Always So Lost In The Dark…’
It’s 10.15 on a Friday night and excitement builds all around.
Saturday Waits as the promise of Spidermen and Caterpillars abound.
Like all those Japanese Babies who tumbled through the gate,
I Burn for tales of Cagey Tigers, and dream of Dogs that Shake.
Then I am reminded, as I Move To The Beat,
Why you Imaginary Boys look good enough to eat.
I’m So Glad I Came. To be here On A Night Like This.
If only it could End with Just One (Strawberry) Kiss.
Yet out to The Edge Of The Green Sea I’m cast,
Wondering if this Lost and Lonely feeling will last.
The Cure
Bellahouston Park
Glasgow
16.08.2019
(Originally Posted 16.08.2019)
‘The Drugs Don’t Work’
Sang the man from Wigan
Just as I’d turned seventeen
Back then it was fun
As real life hadn’t begun
But now I know what he means
Quieten Down(er)
I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give
Drink,
smoke,
or sedative
As the
voices
inside
my head
these
days
Are
far too
competitive
(Originally Posted 15.08.2020)
You may be surprised
To learn in fact
This one doesn’t refer
To a suicide pact
It is actually based
On my favourite date
When we took MDMA
And left the rest to fate
Eternity
Counting the days
Counting the hours
You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers
Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds
We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
There were so many photos taken
Back in twenty nineteen
And I had to pose
All alone
With a gap where you should’ve been
Speechless
There is so much
I want to tell you
So many things
I want to share
But my tears flow
all over again
When I realise
you’re not there
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
‘I don’t know if you’ve seen her lately
But God, she’s looking rough…’
“I know that’s what people say – you’ll get over it. I’d say it too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.”
– Betty Smith
Based on a true story this
From when I was about six or seven
I stole some sweets
So the owner called the police
In order to teach me a lesson
I have always felt
He was a little harsh
And his reaction was over the top
But I guess I learned then
Never to steal again
Well, at least not from his shop
Cops & Robbers
Caught with
my hands
in the
sweetie jar
I retreat,
shamefaced,
when I
hear a
police car…
Who the
fuck has
called
the cops?
I only
stole
a few
pear
drops…
(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)
A true story
This one is
From thirty eight years ago
We were on holiday
At Butlin’s that year
When I decided to take a stroll
I let go of
My mother’s hand
And wandered in a different direction
Off in search
Of sweets no doubt
Or some other such confection
I have no idea
How long I was gone
But at the time it felt like an age
Until I was found
By a kindly policeman
Who ended my little rampage
Next thing I remember
Was in the community centre
Being reunited with my mum
First she hugged me
And then she shook me
For making her so glum
But I’ll always treasure
My little endeavour
As it did teach me one thing
My independence
Was something to treasure
So I found it again when I turned eighteen
Childhood Memories
I got lost on my
eighth birthday.
Sometimes
I wonder
what would’ve
happened,
If I had never
been found.
(Originally Posted 08.08.2019)
‘I’ll put us back together at heart, baby’
“There’s no such thing as a long time ago. There’s only memories that mean something and memories that don’t”
– Sly Stallone (as himself)
I lost that badge
Later that night
In a drunken haze
On Fleet Street
My arm was twisted
So the fun embargo lifted
And my fears, for once,
I managed to beat
Temple Bar
The hordes gather outside your hotel window.
Laughing,
Joking,
Having fun.
You wish you could be more like them.
Prettier,
Funnier,
More confident.
Instead you’re sitting in your room alone with the curtains drawn.
With nothing but your ‘I Hate People’ badge for company.
(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)
I remember that night so well
Even though I don’t remember his face
I felt so guilty
Thinking they should commit me
Just for craving his embrace
Guilty
I got lost
in his eyes
when he spoke to me
and, for a moment,
I wondered what
it would be like
to hold his hand.
I’m sorry.
(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)
Take all of your keepsakes
They say
And put them in a box
That way you will always have
A reminder of who you’ve lost
But not everything can be locked away
And it’s those things that you miss
It’s not like a shirt can replace a hug
Or a photo a kiss
Sense (less)
I’m starting to forget.
Your face,
Your voice,
Your touch.
I don’t like it.
(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)
‘Oh all the times I’ve tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning ’round inside my head’
I’m not sure if I’m a masochist
Or just fittingly sentimental
But ever since that day
I haven’t put it away
Which surely can’t be coincidental
The Back of the Wardrobe
I foolishly
made a
mistake
today
I opened
the box
I’d hidden
away
Where the
memories of
our lives
are kept
Along with
all the
tears I’ve
wept
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
‘But it only takes one tree
To make a thousand matches
Only takes one match
To burn a thousand trees’
‘She stays up all week, watching him sleep,
Scared that she’ll wake up alone’
I can remember when I wrote this
Even though it was some time ago
I was lying in bed
Alone in my head
When that song came on the radio
I’d heard it many times before, of course
As it played through my headphones
But this time was different
As my tears fell quicker, and
I felt it in my bones
‘Silence Like A Cancer Grows…’
Back here alone
In this room again
With the darkness
My old friend
Praying for someone
My wounds to tend
Ever hopeful
This pain will end
(Originally Posted 13.07.2020)
Sometimes I
Have nothing to add
No further words
Or updates
This is one
Of those times,
I think,
As when I read this
My heart breaks
Leftovers
A weak and weary
confused mind
An empty and
hollow heart
As bleak as it is,
it is all I have
As my life has
fallen apart
(Originally Posted 13.07.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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