Tag: Moving on

Self-Stimulation

I’m not here

For your pleasure

I don’t exist

To be your toy

As from now,

Myself,

I have reclaimed

For me alone

To enjoy

9

It Still Hurts

I know

That you’re

In love

With her

But please spare

A thought

For me

I know we

Were bereft

And that’s why

You left

But you were once

Everything

To me

0

Besotted

For getting me

To agree

You always seemed

To have the knack

But I’ve been moving on

All summer long

And now I know

I’ll never look back

0

Sweet Revenge

Do you ever

Think of me

When you’re lying

In her bed?

Because I don’t ever

Think of you

Happy she’s stuck with you

Instead

2

Dead And Buried

You’ll no longer tell

Me what to do

How to think

Or to behave

Now the stars have aligned

I know my own mind

And I’ll take it

To my grave

0

Like A Bad Penny

Maybe

I should move

She said

Start again

Somewhere new

It doesn’t matter

Where you go

He said

The guilt

Will follow you

8

The Breakthrough

Reflecting on

Our last

Little

Tête-à-tête

I feel like

I’ve won,

Finally

As this time 

I cared

Far less

About you

Than you

Have ever

Cared about me

2

Back In Business

I often think

Of that night

And how events

Proceeded

Because being seduced

Was the confidence boost

That I so sorely

I needed

0

On A Loop

It doesn’t matter

What you do

Or how many fantasies

You suggest

As nothing can beat

The reality

That plays

Inside my head

4

From The Ashes

How did it come to be

He said

That you no longer care

Because I chose to live carefree

She said

And turned my back on despair

4

Both Ways

One million men

Could lay in my bed

But you’d still be the one

Stuck in my head

Even if I tried

A million women instead

I wouldn’t even be vaguely

Interested

0

Anxiety

Here again

Home alone

Pacing, waiting

By the phone

Hoping to hear

That familiar tone

And to read our date

Has been postponed

0

Sweet Dreams

I hope

You’re sleeping soundly

All tucked up

In your bed

I hope that guilt

Isn’t shouting too loudly

Inside your pretty

Little head

I hope

You’re remembering proudly

All those actions

That you took

And I hope

You’re realising quite roundly

How I no longer

Give a fuck

2

You Just

You just haven’t met the one

They said 

You just need to give it time

You just need to fuck off

She said 

You just don’t get to decide 

3

Never Gonna Happen

It wasn’t

That I didn’t see you

I knew

You were standing

Right there

It was more

That I

Just ignored you

And passed by

Without

A care

You see you

Are quite unimportant

And mean not a thing

To me

And mine 

So I suggest

That you also

Start walking

And stop wasting

Everyone’s time

0

Dinner Dates

Please
excuse my
awkwardness

I know
I look like
quite the
amateur

I’m just
not sure
of the
etiquette,
yet

Let alone
all of the
vernacular

0

Sea Legs

Now I can take

Longer strokes

And can draw

Bigger breaths

Perhaps one day

I’ll swim away

And escape

These murky depths

(Compass)ion

It must
be so easy
for you

Loving
your life
as you do

But spare a
thought for
the likes of me

Who drown
in a sea of
melancholy

(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)

0

Relocation

It wasn’t that

After our spat

I just put up

The ‘no vacancies’ sign

But I sold the whole

B & B

And left all your bullshit

Behind

No Vacancies

I don’t
want you
to visit

When all
you bring
is pain

I’d rather
stay home
alone

And break
this toxic
chain

(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)

2

Your Alloted Time Slot

You must start moving on

My friend

As it won’t be long

Until the end

And when you look back

You’ll rue the day

That you gave all

Of your time away

Overheard

All
you
do is
bitch
and
moan

And
I listen,
with
a sigh

For you
can’t
seem
to see
what
I do

That’s
your
life,
passing
you by

(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)

2

Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

0

Daybreak

I felt that way

For a really long time

After you rounded on me

That night

But now I’ve moved on

And boy I’ve grown

So I’m stepping back

Into the light

Nyctophilia

I’m
better
alone
than in
company

Just
like I’m
happier
in the
dark

That
way
I never
have to
see anyone

Or
hear
another
disparaging
remark

(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)

2

Office Politics

With the cost of living rising

And my prospects going down

It may well be time

For me to leave

This tired old humdrum town

Overdrawn

Another
day

Another
dollar

Fuck
knows why

We even
bother

(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)

7

Insignificant

You’d love to think

You’re in my head

Day in and

Day out

But the truth is

For last few years

It’s been so easy

To block you out

My Truth

I wish
I could
say I was
sorry

I wish
I could
say that
I care

But
I’m
actually
not

And
I really
don’t

So to
lie
would
be unfair

(Originally Posted 04.02.2020)

0

No Oil Painting

You need to get out more

She said

Get yourself back on the market

There’s no point in either

She said

As I doubt I’d be anyone’s target

Overlooked

What do you think

It would it take

For you

To notice me

Should I wear

A skimpy dress

Paint my lips

So readily?

Well all I have

Is my words

So I guess

That counts me out

As there’s nothing at all

About them

That suggests

I’d like to hangout

(Originally Posted 30.01.2021)

2

Awkwardness

We don’t have to do it all

He said

We can meet up another day

I need to do it now

She said

Just to get it out of the way

The Trial

You don’t
have to
prove
anything

He said

Least
of all
to me

But I
need to
prove it
to myself

She said

Otherwise
I’ll never
be free

(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)

4

The Widow’s Curse

It’s hard at times

For me to explain

As I want to protect you

From feeling my pain

And it’s never your fault

When I’m triggered like this

But when you hold my hand

It reminds me of his

‘Hand In Glove’

Some days
your hand
fits
perfectly
in mine

Our love
flows freely
and
sparkles
like wine

Some days
I can’t
bear
to hold
your hand

For
reasons
you
couldn’t
understand

(Originally Posted 21.01.2020)

2

Screwed

If we’d had a plan

When all this began

Perhaps we could both advance

But as things are

We’ve gone too far

And now none of us

Stand a chance

Obvious

At a
different
time

In a
different
place

The
answer
would
stare
us

Right
in the
face

(Originally Posted 30.11.2019)

2

After The Affair

You can say sorry

All you want

And truly mean

What you say

But when you’ve been burnt

All that pain and hurt

Doesn’t ever

Just go away

The Bargain

Who knows
when our
time will
come

But I fear
it’s not
just yet

For you
have to
forgive
yourself

And I
have to
forget

(Originally Posted 27.11.2019)

6

New Beginnings

Early this morning

Whilst stood on the street

The plumpest wee robin

Landed at my feet

It looked like she’d managed

To escape her cage

And that she was ready

To face winter’s rage

Unfathomable Cruelty

Only I
know why
the caged
bird sings

It’s because
some bastard
clipped it’s
wings

Yet as the
tears rise
and the
anger stings

The bird
knows it’s
just one of
those things

(Originally Posted 22.11.2019)

12

Self Improvement Isn’t Always Progress

I’ve really tried hard

These last few years

To become more authentic

But I fear in trying

To come out of hiding

I just look even more eccentric

‘Getting Away With It’

I’m
pretty
good
at it
now

Hiding
all
my
flaws

Thank
God
you
don’t
see

The
real
me

The
one
that’s
such a
fraud

(Originally Posted 09.11.2020)

8

Not Yet, Anyway

It will soon be three years

Without him here

And I know time is supposed to fly

But it feels like just yesterday

That he was my mainstay

So I’m not ready for some other guy

The Anniversary

It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.

For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 17.10.2019)

4

Spilt Milk

There’s no use in trying

To understand

As it makes no difference

We may as well take complying

By the hand

And hope for deliverence

The Fall

I am
unsure
how it
happened

And I
certainly
don’t
know why

So there’s
nothing left,
for me to
do now

But
just sit
around
and cry

(Originally Posted 15.10.2019)

0

Too Much Effort

Why don’t you just move on

They ask

And find another man

I’ve neither the inclination

I reply

Or the attention span

Stupid Questions

Do
you
still
think
of him

They
ask

Every
single
day

I
reply

Will
you
ever
stop

They
ask

Not
until
the
day
I die

(Originally Posted 08.10.2020)

8

Constant Reminders

I’ve actually done

Pretty well to be fair

Staying on here

With all this pain to bear

I guess I have found ways

To make it my own

But this place will never not be

Our forever home

Haunted

Death
peers in
through
the gloom

As I
lie here
alone in
this room

Upon
this bed
we once
shared

Crying for
the love
we once
declared

(Originally Posted 06.10.2019)

2

Idolised

Some have beauty

Some have braun

Some have charm and flair

Some of them even

Have half a brain

But to you they never compare

First Sight

It
was
clear
to me

The
moment
we met

That
you’d
be the
one

I’d
least
regret

Xxx

(Originally Posted 30.09.2020)

5

I’ll Find Out For Myself

It doesn’t matter

Who I ask

No one can answer me

So three years in

It’s time to begin

Living independently

?

What did I do
to deserve this?

Why did this
happen to me?

Where will
I end up now?

Who is coming
to save me?

(Originally Posted 30.09.2019)

0

Even On Good Days

It’s never too far away

That shadow

I see it from the corner

Of my eye

An ever present reminder

Of what we lost

And when we had

To say goodbye

Mourning

Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head

As it
does
over
my
heart

Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound

As does
sorrow
that
we’d to
part

(Originally Posted 27.09.2019)

2

Redo

There is no going back

There are no more simpler times

Now I just have to accept

That you’ll never again be mine

Undo

Can we go back

To a simpler time

When I was yours

And you were mine?

(Originally Posted 27.09.2020)

0

Stuck

I know it comes evey year

Yet I’m still no more prepared

As much as I try

I’m still left high and dry

With any chance to move on impaired

That Day

I’m scared
of what
that day
will bring,

As I
know it’s
approaching
fast.

Even if
it’s the
start of
my future,

There’s no
way of
forgetting
my past.

(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)

0

Putting The Flags Away

I don’t know why

I got carried away

I only smiled

That one day

It’s not like my sadness

Can fade to grey

As this black cloud

Is here to stay

‘A Little Peculiar’

Something happened this morning

When I sat up in my bed

I found that instead of yawning

I actually smiled instead

(Originally Posted 10.08.2020)

2

If Not Now, When?

I’ll talk you through each step

He said

I’ll explain everything as we go

That’s not what concerns me

She said

It’s the resultant shame I need to forgo

Like Riding A Bike

It’s
not
that
I don’t
want
to

She
said

It’s
more
that
I don’t
know
how

Just
come a
little
closer

He
said

None
of
that
matters
now

(Originally Posted 05.08.2020)

0

Weight Off Your Shoulders

I hope that now

You’re away from me

You are enjoying

Your life carefree

I hope you don’t

Think of me

For I’m standing tall

Just as I should be

The Burden

If
only
I knew
what to do

I
would
not be so
reliant on you

If
only
I knew
how to grieve

It
would be
so much easier
to let you leave

If
only
I knew
who to be

I’d
thank you
for your help
and set you free

(Originally Posted 01.08.2019)

4

Not Wandering Anymore

Out with the old

And in with the new

Time for me to find

Someone better than you

Rose Tinted Glasses

Sometimes a
wander down
memory lane
is no bad
thing

So long
as you can
remember
your way
back

(Originally Posted 22.07.2019)

4

To Never Apologising Again

This is how

You made me feel

Pathetic, lonely

And small

It took me far too long

To realise

That this wasn’t love

At all

Apologies

I’m sorry I act like I don’t care,

I’m sorry it seems like I’m rarely there.

I’m sorry it looks like I don’t even try,

I’m sorry that you’ve never see me cry.

I’m sorry I never appear in a hurry,

I’m sorry I always make you worry.

I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be.

But most of all I’m just sorry for being me.

(Originally Posted 26.06.2019)

10

There’s Still Time

Have you thought about moving on

He said

Of starting a life with someone else

It hasn’t even crossed my mind

She said

As I’m more than happy on the shelf

It’s Not The Same Thing

Just think about

What I lost

On the day he died

Then ask yourself

If you were me

When would your tears subside?

(Originally Posted 25.06.2021)

4

The Failed Ultimatum

Remember when you told me

To do this / do that

And you expected

I’d dance to your tune

Well, in reality

Your words fell flat

And to your bullshit

I’m now immune

Think Again

It’s a
mistake
to tell
me what
to do.

Even
bigger
to think
I’d listen
to you.

(Originally Posted 21.06.2019)

2

Only Traces Left

No matter how hard you strive

To keep a memory alive

They’re always forgotten

In the end

At All

I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.

I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.

(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)

12

No Room At The Inn

You should look for someone else

They say

Now time’s moved on a bit

I wouldn’t know where to start

I say

Or where in my head they’d fit

HeadRoom

I
did
not
realise

That
space
in my
head

Would
still be
filled
by you

Even
though
you’re
dead

(Originally Posted 24.05.2020)

4

I Am Now

I do not look

Over my shoulder

For I am brave

I am bolder

You will not beat me

Any longer

Because I am better

I am stronger

Yearning

Time passes

Like a dream

In my mind

As I remember

Everything

I’ve left behind

(Originally Posted 25.04.2020)

6

In

The days still march on,

But now I run forward.

Always in step,

Everything in place,

And just about in time.

Out

The days march on,
But I trail behind.
Out of step,
Out of place,
Out of time.

(Originally Posted 09.04.2019)

10

Becoming Unstuck

Back in the day

The only way

Was to express my grief

In paragraphs

I avoided talking

Like the plague

And couldn’t look

At photographs

I knew that it

Was wrong of me

But in my sadness

I was frozen

There was no option

For me back then

No other path

I could have chosen

But now I find

Day in day out

I can move

A little bit more

I am becoming unstuck,

It seems

Of that much

I am sure

I can only hope

As time goes on

Things continue

In this vain

And I’m never physically,

Mentally or emotionally

So immovable

Again

Immovable

It’s like wading through a swamp. Trying to lift your limbs from quicksand. Pushing against an invisible wind with a colossal weight strapped to your back. Everything takes so much longer. So many hours are lost. Motivation is impossible to muster. Action comes only in waves. Trivial tasks are insurmountable and nothing makes sense.

I’ve become physically, mentally and emotionally immovable.

Please, send help.

(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)

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