Tag: no thanks

The Blind Date

Only halfway

Through your story

And you’re already

Beginning to bore me

Sometime later

When your story ends

I know for sure

We’ll just be friends

12

Pure Gallus

You may think

Your cheeky wink

Was both charming

And flirtatious

Yet your inane smile

And attempt to beguile

Tested nothing

But my patience

6

“You Wouldn’t Understand…”

You want advice?

I’m full of it

She exuberantly claimed

On any topic or theme

I can intervene

And so help to ease your mind

I can think of nothing worse

She sighed

Than spilling my guts to you

Because all I’d hear back

Is a load of crap

From your asinine point of view

6

Like Arseholes

Suggestions on what

To do and not

Believe me,

I’ve had a billion

But remember that

What you state as fact

Is just

Your fucking opinion

2

You Coming?

If only I looked

And felt okay

Then I’d be there

Without delay

But as it is

It’s been a pretty bad day

So I’ll stay in and wish

My life away

2

Maybe Next Time

I really am

Very sorry

I did not mean

To offend

But to look

Interested

In what you

Had suggested

I couldn’t be bothered

To pretend

4

Infinitely, No

Have faith

In the afterlife

They say

Even just

A little bit

But if all there is

Is coming back to this

Then ‘they’

Can fucking stick it

Over And Over Again

It was always pretty reckless

And possibly quite mad

But I have fallen for you

Over and over again

In each lifetime I’ve had

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.02.2022)

0

Move Over, Wednesday

You’re hardly the life and soul

They said

Even with a drink you’re glum

You don’t know the half of it

She said

I didn’t even want to come

Sanctuary

Never more than when

I’m in a room full of people

Do I feel most the alone

All I want to do is beat

A slow and steady retreat

And find my sanctuary at home

(Originally Posted 10.12.2020)

6

Taking A Telling

Over one thousand lifetimes

My answer would always be no

For it doesn’t matter

How much you flatter

I’d never again stoop so low

The Hopeless Romantic

You’ll
never
be the
one for
me,

So why
can’t I
just
leave
it alone?

Why do
I keep
getting
my hopes
up,

When
you’ve
made your
feelings
known

(Originally Posted 18.10.2019)

2

Too Much Effort

Why don’t you just move on

They ask

And find another man

I’ve neither the inclination

I reply

Or the attention span

Stupid Questions

Do
you
still
think
of him

They
ask

Every
single
day

I
reply

Will
you
ever
stop

They
ask

Not
until
the
day
I die

(Originally Posted 08.10.2020)

8

I Don’t Even Like Casserole

I remember there was

A lot of this back then

People calling, fawning,

And trying to be my friend

Now I think about it, perhaps,

They just didn’t know what to say

But at the time I recall how much I wished

They’d just stayed the fuck away

Fake Flowers

Your fake
concern
disgusts me

Your false
condolences
knock me sick

If you
really want
to comfort me

Just piss off
and leave me
alone,

Prick

(Originally Posted 07.10.2019)

4

Plus It Didn’t Fit

Next time

I’ll buy my own

Tarnished

That
ring you
gave me
yesterday

Has
turned
my finger
green

A more
appropriate
metaphor
for our
relationship

I have
never seen

(Originally Posted 13.08.2019)

2

Another Failed Bribe

Please don’t bother

Sending a card

I have no use

For your money

In fact anything you post in

Will be thrown in the bin

As I couldn’t care less, honey

Congratulations

Am I
supposed
to feel
something?

Because
I don’t

Am I
supposed
to thank
you?

Because
I won’t

(Originally Posted 05.08.2020)

2

Flattery

There is a fine line

She said

Between charm and bullshit

Get me another beer

She said

And we’ll see if you can find it

The Mutual Appreciation Society

Pour
yourself
a drink

And come
sit with me

Let’s tell
each other
stories

Of how we’re
meant to be

(Originally Posted 28.04.2020)

4

Dating Advice

“You’d have so much to offer

If you could just proffer

A kindly look their way”

—

“My mouth may be broken

But I do have a shot gun

So I’m sure I’ll be ok”

20

Sacrilege

I didn’t think

There was anything else

You could do to anger me

But then you go

And confront me with

A fucking awful cup of tea

21

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