The Watershed

OK, perhaps not quite meaningless

But certainly everything changed

And though life now may be

Somewhat better for me

That numbness has definitely remained


All Surface, No Meaning

When you died,
My world stopped turning.

When you took your last breath,
My life became meaningless.

As the ongoing battle towards my own death continues,
I’m numb to everything and everyone.

I trudge along…

Feigning my interest,
Forging my desire,
Faking my love.

(Originally Posted 18.04.2019)

Missing Kisses

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
so much

Silent Conversations

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as she makes her
way to the door

But when,
how soon
he asks
as he stares
at the floor

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as her head
is slowly bowed

But when,
how soon
he asks
will we
be allowed?

Options

I am amazed, yet again, that I’ve found the courage to get out of bed.

You have no idea how hard it is.

This sustained internal struggle.

The conscious effort required to motivate myself to move.

The strength of belief needed to convince my anxious brain that we can get through the day unscathed.

It’s exhausting.

If only I could return to the naivety of the past.

Travel back to a time when sadness was mere affectation.

Where melancholy was a comforting friend.

And death wasn’t such a viable option.

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