Stricken

Recent
events
have
taken
their
toll

On
my
body
and
my
mind

I
just
wish
I
could
go
back
to
when

I
didn’t
feel
so
sick
inside

Fear

I’m
going
back
to bed

It’s
not
worth
staying
awake

From
these
thoughts
in my
head

I need a
fucking
break

On Future Dates

I
know
that
I
agreed
to
this

But
now
I
am
quite
scared

What
if
I’m
late
to
meet
you

Or
my
ability
to
talk
is
impaired?

What
about
if
you
realise

When
you
look
at
me up
close

That
I
really
am
quite
old
and
tired

And
the
thought
of
kissing
me
is gross?

3.38pm

Another
day spent
lying
in bed

Thoughts
racing
through
my head

Wondering
what it
was you
said

And all
the while
wishing
I was dead

The Self Pity Party

So many nights I’ve cried,

Feeling dead inside,

Whilst wrestling with my neurosis.

I can’t help but discern,

Despite all your supposed care and concern,

That you haven’t even noticed.

Let

I let
myself
down
today

When I
let you
inside
my head

I wish I
could
just let
you go

And let
myself
enjoy life
instead

I Already Know

I already
know I’m
a piece
of shit

I don’t
need you
to remind
me of it

I already
know I’m
a bitter
old crone

I don’t need
you pointing
out that I’ll
forever be alone

I already
know my
cuts are
too deep

I don’t
need you
to watch
them weep

I already
know that
I’m dead
inside

I don’t need
you telling me
there’s nowhere
left to hide

Crutches

I fear
I have
lent on
you once
too often,
and now
you are
as broken
as me.

I should
never have
asked for
your help,
to be
honest,
as now
you’ll never
be free.

Happier

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

For never
having met.

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

With nothing
to regret.

Paranoia

It’s heartfelt
praise, but
I know
your ways.

How uncomfortable
you are
to see,
just how
miserable I
can be.

I’m sorry
I no
longer make
you smile.

For that
you’ll need
to wait
a while.

Until then,
just keep
telling me
I’ll make
it through.

And I’ll
keep on
whispering
fuck you.

Go

Maybe it would be for the best if I left
Just got the fuck out of here for good

Let's face it, I could

I have no responsibilities
I have no commitments
I have nothing

And it's not like anyone wants me to stay anyway

Booze (Pt 2)

It’s killing me. This guilt. Every time I go out. I speak to someone and I feel guilty for laughing. I talk about you and I feel guilty for crying. I feel like every one is watching me, secretly whispering, and I feel guilty for being such an arrogant prick. I think everyone is judging me, pitying me and I feel guilty for not having more faith in people.

So I’m just going to stop going out.¬† As it will finish me off eventually. This guilt.