"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
It takes me by surprise
Every year
If I can just yet through that day,
I think,
Then everthing will be ok
But it’s not
A Hard Week
Now that
the darkness
has descended
All my
happiness
has ended
Deep into
my soul
I have delved
And all
future plans
I have shelved
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019
‘Ain’t no angel going to to greet me
It’s just you and I my friend…’
“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be”
– Eckhart Tolle
My friend had one
Etched with that quote
Back when I was a kid
I’m not sure if
She ever believed it
Half as much as I did
Cinderella, I Am Not
There’s no such
thing as happily
ever after
There is only
heartbreak
and disaster
What you see
in their films
is a lie
As life’s a
bitch and
then you die
(Originally Posted 02.09.2019)
This is it
Where she now lies
The lonely widow
Who always cried
If only she
Had married again
Perhaps she may
Have forgotten her pain
Lovers Reunited
If I
can’t have
the one
that’s gone
then I’ll
just wait
out here,
alone,
until there’s
an end
to all
this pain
and our
hearts can
beat together
again
(Originally Posted 31.08.2019)
‘In my imagination
There is no complication
I dream about you all the time…’
And so they sat,
Together in time,
Talking until dawn.
Not just did they speak,
Of their lives past,
But also of those to come.
Past Lives
I think I remember you,
she said,
I think we’ve met before.
Perhaps it was when I was young,
she said,
and before my heart was sore.
I don’t remember meeting,
he said,
although I really can’t be sure.
Why don’t you sit down now,
he said,
and talk to me some more.
(Originally Posted 24.08.2019)
‘Late at night I can hear your voices
Talking shit about all my choices
You would think you’ve known me forever
Just because you know my name…’
There are those cut out
For DIY
And those who simply are not
You were always one
Who may have had fun
But were never as good as you thought
Xxx
Precipice
Grab
onto
this
He
said
It’ll
be
okay
It’s
one
I made
myself
I’m
not so
sure
She
said
That
it’ll
be
safe
I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf
(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)
A bit niche, perhaps…
But if you know, you know
‘Always So Lost In The Dark…’
It’s 10.15 on a Friday night and excitement builds all around.
Saturday Waits as the promise of Spidermen and Caterpillars abound.
Like all those Japanese Babies who tumbled through the gate,
I Burn for tales of Cagey Tigers, and dream of Dogs that Shake.
Then I am reminded, as I Move To The Beat,
Why you Imaginary Boys look good enough to eat.
I’m So Glad I Came. To be here On A Night Like This.
If only it could End with Just One (Strawberry) Kiss.
Yet out to The Edge Of The Green Sea I’m cast,
Wondering if this Lost and Lonely feeling will last.
The Cure
Bellahouston Park
Glasgow
16.08.2019
(Originally Posted 16.08.2019)
‘The Drugs Don’t Work’
Sang the man from Wigan
Just as I’d turned seventeen
Back then it was fun
As real life hadn’t begun
But now I know what he means
Quieten Down(er)
I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give
Drink,
smoke,
or sedative
As the
voices
inside
my head
these
days
Are
far too
competitive
(Originally Posted 15.08.2020)
You may be surprised
To learn in fact
This one doesn’t refer
To a suicide pact
It is actually based
On my favourite date
When we took MDMA
And left the rest to fate
Eternity
Counting the days
Counting the hours
You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers
Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds
We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
‘I don’t know if you’ve seen her lately
But God, she’s looking rough…’
“I know that’s what people say – you’ll get over it. I’d say it too. But I know it’s not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won’t forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.”
– Betty Smith
Based on a true story this
From when I was about six or seven
I stole some sweets
So the owner called the police
In order to teach me a lesson
I have always felt
He was a little harsh
And his reaction was over the top
But I guess I learned then
Never to steal again
Well, at least not from his shop
Cops & Robbers
Caught with
my hands
in the
sweetie jar
I retreat,
shamefaced,
when I
hear a
police car…
Who the
fuck has
called
the cops?
I only
stole
a few
pear
drops…
(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)
Three years on
From writing this
And that strength still eludes me
Don’t get me wrong
I can, at times, be strong
But my future still looks pretty gloomy
08.08
So it’s another birthday
And what a day it has been
If I’d have known last year
What I know now
I would have jacked it all in
But I suppose now it’s time
At this ripe old age
And much to my chagrin
To find a way of moving forward
And discover the strength within
(Originally Posted 09.08.2019)
A true story
This one is
From thirty eight years ago
We were on holiday
At Butlin’s that year
When I decided to take a stroll
I let go of
My mother’s hand
And wandered in a different direction
Off in search
Of sweets no doubt
Or some other such confection
I have no idea
How long I was gone
But at the time it felt like an age
Until I was found
By a kindly policeman
Who ended my little rampage
Next thing I remember
Was in the community centre
Being reunited with my mum
First she hugged me
And then she shook me
For making her so glum
But I’ll always treasure
My little endeavour
As it did teach me one thing
My independence
Was something to treasure
So I found it again when I turned eighteen
Childhood Memories
I got lost on my
eighth birthday.
Sometimes
I wonder
what would’ve
happened,
If I had never
been found.
(Originally Posted 08.08.2019)
‘I’ll put us back together at heart, baby’
“There’s no such thing as a long time ago. There’s only memories that mean something and memories that don’t”
– Sly Stallone (as himself)
‘Oh all the times I’ve tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning ’round inside my head’
I’m not sure if I’m a masochist
Or just fittingly sentimental
But ever since that day
I haven’t put it away
Which surely can’t be coincidental
The Back of the Wardrobe
I foolishly
made a
mistake
today
I opened
the box
I’d hidden
away
Where the
memories of
our lives
are kept
Along with
all the
tears I’ve
wept
(Originally Posted 25.07.2019)
‘But it only takes one tree
To make a thousand matches
Only takes one match
To burn a thousand trees’
‘She stays up all week, watching him sleep,
Scared that she’ll wake up alone’
Sounds like I was sick of platitudes
Back when I wrote this one
Had enough of condescending attitudes
When all was said and done
Yet as I think about it now
I’d love to hear them again
But sympathy disappears
When it falls on deaf ears
And eventually you run out of friends
No Consolation
There’s
no
point
in
crying
Over
spilt
milk
God
loves
you
for
trying
Blah
blah
blah
(Originally Posted 10.07.2020)
‘And if one day
You should see me in the crowd
Lend a hand and lift me
To your place in the cloud’
“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald
‘I was born standing up
And talking back’
Back before
I was heart broken
And became
Such a misery
I was capable
Of having fun
Which I did,
Consistently
This is one
Of many stories
From when I was
The queen of frolicking
To think how I was then
Compared to now
Is quite simply
Astonishing
If I could roll back
The years
And talk
To a younger me
I would tell her
‘Don’t just pick one fella’
And keep living your life
Care free
A Love Quadrangle
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
one
I’ve
been
here
from
the
start
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
two
I’d
never
break
her
heart
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
three
I
see
her
playful
side
Please,
stop
arguing
boys
She
said
You
couldn’t
handle
me if
you
tried!
(Originally Posted 30.06.2020)
‘If I saw you again I’d smile,
But I’d say don’t call me baby…’
I met him on the Solstice
Many, many moons ago
There amongst the stones I thought
He looks to be in the know
So I asked him that question
The one you see below
But alas, he shook his head and said
‘I just go with the flow’
The Sage
Tell me
how
you do
it
She
said
How
do you
stay so
strong
I
don’t
really
know
He
said
I make
it up
as
I go
along
(Originally Posted 22.06.2020)
No matter how hard you strive
To keep a memory alive
They’re always forgotten
In the end
At All
I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.
I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.
(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)
I sense more of this type coming
And to be honest
I’m a little afraid
Not only to reread them
But also to relive them
Knowing how I’m capable of such again
The Note
It was the lonliness
That got to me
If I’m honest
In the end
Sitting here
Just quietly
But all alone
Yet again
Desperately trying
But failing
My broken heart
To mend
And all the while
Convinced
That the rope
Was my only friend
(Originally Posted 16.06.2020)
‘If this world is wearing thin
And you’re thinking of escape
I’ll go anywhere with you
Just wrap me up in chains
But if you try to go alone
Don’t think I’ll understand…’
‘I’ve been walking in the rain
Just to get wet on purpose’
You should look for someone else
They say
Now time’s moved on a bit
I wouldn’t know where to start
I say
Or where in my head they’d fit
HeadRoom
I
did
not
realise
That
space
in my
head
Would
still be
filled
by you
Even
though
you’re
dead
(Originally Posted 24.05.2020)
Crying because I was happy
Crying because I was sad
Crying because I had lost
The best friend I’d ever had
Joy and Sadness
Resisting
the urge
to cry
today
is futile.
(Originally Posted 24.05.2019)
Thank God
I never gave him this
As I don’t think
He’d have ever recovered
Young love is such
A fickle thing
As I’m sure
He’s since discovered
(I’m Not In) Love Letters
I read,
read
and
read it
again
But it
doesnt
change
a thing
I can’t
take
back
what
I wrote
Or
remove
it’s
sting
(Originally Posted 23.05.2020)
You will never stand
At my grave and weep
As you’ll never know
Where it is
Animosity
You can
keep your
feigned apology
For your
friendship
now means
nothing to me
I shall
live without
you merrily
Waiting for
the day
everyone
will see
Just how
wicked and
cruel you
can be
(Originally Posted 22.05.2019)
I had a lot of fun that day
And I looked beautiful too
Yet on the hour, every hour
I cried alone in the loo
Wedding Bells
Who knows
what will happen
when I get there.
Who knows
what will happen
along the way.
What I do know
is that you
won’t be there.
And my tears
will fall
all day.
(Originally Posted 21.05.2019)
‘Head’s in a whirlpool
Spinnin’ round and round
If she don’t get her man back
She’s gonna drown’
I’m not drunk
She says
It’s all in your head
I know you’re lying
She says
I’ve seen under your bed
Mother’s Ruin
As
the rot
starts
to set
in
I
pour
myself
another
gin
To
silence
the pain
in my
head
As
the
thoughts
seem to
shift
My
mood
starts
to
lift
And
I can
finally
get out
of bed
(Originally Posted 20.05.2020)
I said this out loud
Believe it or not
Once, in a hospital
That time forgot
Back then I was sick
And definitely tired
As all my issues
Felt pretty hard wired
The poor therapist
Didn’t know where to look
As she scribbled about me
In her hard backed book
The room fell silent
Apart from one boy
Who looked up and smiled
And I jumped for joy
Someone finally understood me
Somebody else felt my pain
So we went and smoked cigarettes
Until group therapy started again
Group Therapy
I’m
glad
you
find
it
helpful
But I
certainly
do not
What’s
the
point
in
telling
tales
When
you’ve
already
lost
the
plot?
(Originally Posted 19.05.2020)
Sometimes
The words I use
Are not deliberately explicit
Sometimes
The words I choose
Are inherently implicit
Overpowered
It is
not
only
my
heart
that
bleeds
As
you
take
care
of
your
own
needs
(Originally Posted 18.05.2020)
‘This is not really
This, this, this is not really happening
You bet your life it is…’
“There must have been a moment at the beginning, where we could have said no. Somehow we missed it. Well, we’ll know better next time.”
– Guildenstern
‘I don’t keep my secrets there
I hide them everywhere…’
I don’t remember where this was
Or which comedian I was bashing
But I hope they could see
It wasn’t them, but me
That was the reason I wasn’t laughing
Row 3 Seat 5
I don’t know
who said you
were funny
But I think
you’re pretty
witless
This really
wasn’t worth
the money
As I’m sitting
here bored
shitless
(Originally Posted 29.04.2020)
“Life becomes a habit. You get up, dress, eat, go tae work, clock in etcetera etcetera automatically, and think about nothing but the pay packet on Friday and the booze-up last Saturday. Life’s easy when you’re a robot.”
– Alasdair Gray
I just want you to know
She said
I haven’t missed you one bit
My life has improved dramatically
She said
Without your presence in it
Couldn’t Give A Fuck, Mate
I just
want
you to
know
He
said
That
I don’t
like you
anymore
Please,
join
the
queue
She
said
After
all, I’ve
been here
before
(Originally Posted 14.04.2020)
‘She can
Start
To walk out
When she wants’
‘Say, we can go where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come
From out of this world
Leave the real one far behind’
This may have been posted
In 2019
But it was written long ago
In the back of a French class
As I recall
Looking out into the snow
Je Suis Morte
I’ve been here so many, many times before
I’m just fucking bored now.
Bored with the fucking lot of it.
It’s pointless now.
Not that there ever was a point, obviously.
Je Suis Morte.
I Fucking Wish.
(Originally Posted 02.03.2019)
‘Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
Tell me goodbye
Don’t you take it so hard now
And please don’t take it so bad
I’ll still be thinkin’ of you
And the times we had, baby’
‘So you think I’ve got an evil mind, well I’ll tell you honey…’
It isn’t really home anymore
It’s merely just a dwelling
Yet if these four walls
Could speak my friend
By God they’d do some telling
‘His loneness is his shell and shield
And neither he, nor we, will yield’
– Julie Holder
I fucking hate Christmas
Just like Christmas hates me
Walking on eggshells all day
Faking smiles around a tree
I learned when I was five
Santa doesn’t deliver for free
That he prefers ‘good little girls’
And the one he favoured that year was me
As an adult I’ve tried to make it better
To erase him from my memory
But I still fucking hate Christmas
Just like Christmas hates me
I know
You know
I like you
But I know
You don’t know
How much
We’ve already missed our moment
She said
So it’s best we don’t meet again
I know you love someone else
He said
But I’d still like to be your friend
I know
You’ll never ask again
I know
I missed my time
I know
You no longer feel the same
I know
You’ll never be mine
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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