Every time
I tried to speak
I realised
I couldn’t
Because
Every time
I opened up
You’d show me why
I shouldn’t
Ghosts Of The Past
I think it’s unfair
To suggest
I use my childhood
As a shield
When, in fact,
It’s the way they act
That makes me
Unwilling
To yield
Affection
It matters not
In the end
If from a woman
Or a man
Sometimes
All you can do
Is to take
Whatever you can
Diligent
Such an intriguing web
Of tales you spin
All to hide
From what lurks within
Tickets (On Yourself)
You ain’t
All that
You’re no
High-flier
In fact
You’re a twat
As well
As a liar
The Scapegoat
It’s ok
If you want
To stay
I will be
The one
To leave
But just
Remember
When they find out
It’s my loss
They will grieve
“Not My Fault, But Yours”
When those thoughts
Enter your head
Do you cut them off
Stone dead?
Or do you sometimes
Squint through the blur
To see what a cunt
You really were
Starting Over
A heart
Dejected
Words
Neglected
People
Rejected
Yet challenge
Accepted
Still Bitter
I hope that you
Are happy now
And you go to sleep
With a smile
But for me to hope
That she doesn’t choke
Is going to take
A while
Afternoon Delights
“Oh, how I’ve missed this”
She said
Running her hands
Through his hair
That he wasn’t the first
Of the day for her
Was neither here
Nor there
Fickle
You can pull
Out all the stops
Call on every ploy
And device
But whatever the spiel
They will never feel
Exactly the same way,
Twice
On Kindness
I’ll never forget
You sat with me
When I was as sad
As sad could be
And even though
You didn’t agree
You just let me talk
And made me tea
Anonymously Happy
Do you think
It helps
He said
Writing these wry
Little observations
Well, I would
Rather that
She said
Than suffer
Endless conversations
Brooding
From the rankest bottom
Of my deepest recess
I hope and I pray
For your utter distress
As there is no way
You could ever contest
Your actions don’t lie
At the heart of this mess
It’s Been A Long Week
I’ll go out with you
Again tonight
But don’t expect
I’ll be too much fun
I mean, I’ll be okay
But will slip away
When my social battery
Is done
Bored To Tears
There was a time
I’d humour you
But that has long
Since passed
It’s not like I ever
Wanted to know
That’s why I
Never asked
That Evil Within
I’ve seen what lurks
Inside you
Despite what you’re trying
To show
And it’s clear, in fact
Your crawling back
Just confirms what
I already know
Never To Be Seen Again
Though I caught his eye
As he said goodbye
I couldn’t quite tell
If he would jump
But when he didn’t show up
Later on that month
I knew to the bridge
He had succumbed
Longing For Silence
Please stop talking
Or I’m out the door
I cannot listen
To you any more
At The Latest
It’s brilliant that you came
She said
Now just relax
And enjoy yourself
Oh, I’ll certainly try
She said
Knowing she’d be out of there
By twelve
The Creep
I know you think
You’re special
She said
I know you think
You’re smart
Strutting your stuff
About the place
Like you’re some work of art
But trust me when I say
She said
That’s not what we all see
In fact in the office
The only hot topic
Is what a twat
You appear to be
You Coming?
If only I looked
And felt okay
Then I’d be there
Without delay
But as it is
It’s been a pretty bad day
So I’ll stay in and wish
My life away
Merciless
In amongst
All the bullshit
There’s one thing
That’s still true
I might scream and curse
And make matters worse
But I’ll never be a cunt
Like you
The Lesser Of Two Evils
I did my best
At the time
Sacrificing
Your sanity
By protecting mine
Getting On With The Job
Why should they rememeber
He said
Every year
When you never even talk
About him here
Well, it’s not like they cared
She said
In the first fucking place
Back when the pain was still written
All over my face
The Perils Of Peer Support
I realise I fucked up
He said
When I wasn’t there for you
But I promise I’ll be here now
He said
And will help to see you through
All that shit is pointless
She said
We can’t go back in time
Just prioritise your own health
She said
And I’ll take care of mine
Universal
She said she’d written it
About herself
When I saw her
On TV
But there’s no way
She could portray
The exact same feelings
As me
Maybe Next Time
I really am
Very sorry
I did not mean
To offend
But to look
Interested
In what you
Had suggested
I couldn’t be bothered
To pretend
The Corporate Ladder
Give yourself a break
He said
We can all see
You’re trying your best
I just can’t afford to flake
She said
With all these cuckoos
In the nest
Wronged Parties
I just don’t understand
He said
Why she would try to tear us apart
Because the cost of true love
She said
Is always someone else’s heart
Thank You And Goodnight
I am going home
And locking the door
As I do not care
For this shit anymore
Bitter Pills
The problem with me
Is you
Disconnected
Not only
She said
Do I miss you
But on days
Like this
I miss me too
When You Hear It
I just couldn’t say
Sorry back then
Though I’m ready
To say it now
My only wish
Is that you weren’t
Such a bitch
Who will act
All holier-than-thou
Pushover
Sometimes
I regret
What I said
And how often
I showed you
The door
As it never seemed
To matter
How your heart
Was shattered
You’d always
Come back
For more
Widows
We need support
When traumatised
Not to be attacked
Or demonised
Something we wish
That you’d realise
When losing them
Leaves us paralysed
Fishbones
I guess you’re all there
Outside together
Enjoying the food
And this change in weather
Swapping your stories
Of the week’s events
As you wait for the last
Course to commence
Well don’t mind me
As I sit here and smoke
Hoping for the day
When you all choke
And die
The Smoking Shelter
It’s amazing
The people
You can meet
When you’re standing
Outside
On the street
They make you
Instantly
Lose control
As, with ease,
They stare
Into your soul
Cutting Through The Bullshit
I’m
not
really
crying
She
said
Honestly
things
are
fine
You
can’t
kid a
kidder
He
said
Now,
please,
come
back
to mine
(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)
Spoon Fed
When you only have a little
A little can mean a lot
So even living off a trickle
Feels like winning the jackpot
Hostages
I
can’t
let
go
You’re
all
I’ve
got
(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)
If Only For A Minute
I saw you just
Sitting there
All alone
And looking scared
So I thought
I’d offer
A kind word or two
In the hope
You might stop
Feeling so blue
A Forgone Conclusion
It’s
very
nice of
you to
be kind
But
please,
don’t
pay me
any mind
For
I am
now
a cause
that’s
lost
As
onto
the
pyre my
heart’s
been
tossed
(Originally Posted 01.02.2020)
Left Puzzled
Complicated relationships
May be all I’ve ever known
Yet it seems the baggage
That you come along with
By far outweighs my own
Tussle
I don’t want to just be friends
I don’t want to let this go
You may be able to walk away
But this is all I know
(Originally Posted 01.02.2021)
The Performance
Oh don’t get me wrong
Their tears will throng
As they stand forlornly
At your grave
But I’ll certainly know
That it’s all for show
As it’s just their face
They’re trying to save
Daughters
I am
so glad
You’re
not here
To
see
What
they’ve
become
Both
bitter and
twisted
Individuals
Who’ve
lost the
love
You
taught
them
(Originally Posted 01.02.2020)
Happy As Larry
I envy those people
Who are not deep thinkers
Who never peek out
From behind their blinkers
They all must live
Such carefree lives
Whilst I toil away
Hiding the knives
Stood At The Urinal
Do you
ever
think
there’s
more to
life
than
this?
Fuck
knows
mate,
to be
honest,
I only
came in
for a piss
(Originally Posted 30.01.2020)
Random #278
“People say they love you, but what they mean is they love how loving you makes them feel about themselves”
– Eli
On Spontaneity
Not everyone finds it easy
To go out and be social
Some of us need
A little time to breathe
While considering
Such a proposal
Leave Me Alone
Although the walls
Are closing in
I have no desire
To leave
I don’t understand
Why you find that
So fucking hard
To believe
(Originally Posted 11.01.2021)
In The Library
I guess I’ve always felt
That little bit better
When I’m in amongst
Those words and letters
Safe in my own
Little fantasy world
Where my peace and quiet
Is undisturbed
The Window Seat
There’s
people,
people,
everywhere
Dashing
around
without
a care
Or,
at least,
that’s how
it looks
When I
glance up
from behind
my books
(Originally Posted 08.01.2020)
‘Blue Christmas’
It’s the time of year
Again
For that age old
Platitude
The one I’m expected
To receive
With a kindly
Gratitude
“It must be hard for you”
They say
“Especially at this time of year”
I want
To say
It’s hard
Every day
But that’s not
What they want to hear
Who The Fuck Are ‘They’ Anyway?
Time heals
Or so they say
Well, let me tell you
They fucking lie
Time does nothing
But march on
And you’re left
With no right to reply
(Originally Posted 22.12.2021)
Clocking In
Never
Do I feel this more
Than each time I walk
Through that door
Sown Up
I don’t feel better.
I haven’t forgotten.
I’ve just stopped telling you,
How I feel.
(Originally Posted 15.12.2020)
Move Over, Wednesday
You’re hardly the life and soul
They said
Even with a drink you’re glum
You don’t know the half of it
She said
I didn’t even want to come
Sanctuary
Never more than when
I’m in a room full of people
Do I feel most the alone
All I want to do is beat
A slow and steady retreat
And find my sanctuary at home
(Originally Posted 10.12.2020)
Parasite
Although I wrote this
For someone else
It suddenly occurs to me
That a finer analogy
For your behavior
There could never be
Leech
I
don’t
owe
you a
penny
But
you
sure do
owe
me
For
putting
food in
your
belly
And
living
in my
home
rent free
(Originally Posted 09.12.2019)
“I’m OK By Myself”
Someone asked me
Today
Why I prefer to travel
Alone
Because it’s easier
I said
Than listening to other people
Moan
Better Off Dead
Sometimes
I
wonder,
Is
this all
there is?
Just
boredom,
emptiness
And your
endless
bullshit?
I couldn’t
think of
anything
nicer,
Than to be
somewhere
else
instead.
Far from
all the
anxiety
and pain,
And your
words
plaguing
my head
(Originally Posted 07.12.2019)
The Inevitable
Protecting yourself
From someone else
Doesn’t make you mean
It just shows that you
In my view
Are great at forward planning
Weak
I really am sorry
I cannot take your weight
For my arms are too broken
From carrying my own
(Originally Posted 19.11.2020)
Of Biblical Proportions
You will reap
What you sow
Isn’t that what they say?
Well if that’s true
Then I promise you
There’s a fucking whirlwind
On the way
Penance
You’ll probably never see me again
And I’m quite happy with that
As it’s the very least you deserve
For being such an obnoxious twat
(Originally Posted 10.11.2019)
Nobody Is Safe
No one could ever accuse me
Of division or discrimination
For I can pour my vitriol
Without any kind of limitation
Fact
Oh,
I don’t
just hate
you
I
hate
everyone
(Originally Posted 23.10.2019)
Behind Enemy Lines
If only I’d tried harder
I could have fought you more
If only I’d been smarter
I could have won the war
Fade To Black
Pull down the stars
Put out the sun
I’ve had enough
You have won
(Originally Posted 23.10.2020)
Changing Your Tune
We can all claim
To be considerate and kind
To look after each other
In both heart and mind
But what I have found
If the truth be told
Is that people only care
When you’re dead and cold
Harsh Truth
It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn
When
you’re
at the
point of
no return
That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit
Whether
you decide
to stay
or
end it
(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)
I Wasn’t Built For This
I guess I am
A misanthrope
Born as I was
Devoid of hope
Destined across
The world to mope
Forever trying
To avoid the rope
Misanthropic Me
People
never
cease to
disgust
and
disappoint
me in
equal measure
Perhaps
that’s
why my
life is
full of
discomfort
and
displeasure
(Originally Posted 09.10.2019)
Too Much Effort
Why don’t you just move on
They ask
And find another man
I’ve neither the inclination
I reply
Or the attention span
Stupid Questions
Do
you
still
think
of him
They
ask
Every
single
day
I
reply
Will
you
ever
stop
They
ask
Not
until
the
day
I die
(Originally Posted 08.10.2020)
I Don’t Even Like Casserole
I remember there was
A lot of this back then
People calling, fawning,
And trying to be my friend
Now I think about it, perhaps,
They just didn’t know what to say
But at the time I recall how much I wished
They’d just stayed the fuck away
Fake Flowers
Your fake
concern
disgusts me
Your false
condolences
knock me sick
If you
really want
to comfort me
Just piss off
and leave me
alone,
Prick
(Originally Posted 07.10.2019)
Seen It All Before
I’ve been around
For far too long
To fall for your crocodile tears
So go try them out
On someone else
Before their patience also disappears
Waterfalls
Go on,
Keep crying.
It changes nothing.
(Originally Posted 27.09.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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