"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I know your heart’s
In the right place
And that deep down
You mean well
But your good intentions
Mean nothing
While I’m trapped
In this hell
Two Cents Worth
It will get better with time
They lied
Before my tears
Had even dried
(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)
Four different medications
Plus some of my own to boot
Yet the madness persists
As I eye up my wrists
Making the point of treatment moot
Assistance / Resistance
So
it’s
been
a year
Of
your
latest
treatment
Yet
I still
don’t
feel
Any
fucking
different
(Originally Posted 30.10.2020)
There’s no use in trying
To understand
As it makes no difference
We may as well take complying
By the hand
And hope for deliverence
The Fall
I am
unsure
how it
happened
And I
certainly
don’t
know why
So there’s
nothing left,
for me to
do now
But
just sit
around
and cry
(Originally Posted 15.10.2019)
I guess I am
A misanthrope
Born as I was
Devoid of hope
Destined across
The world to mope
Forever trying
To avoid the rope
Misanthropic Me
People
never
cease to
disgust
and
disappoint
me in
equal measure
Perhaps
that’s
why my
life is
full of
discomfort
and
displeasure
(Originally Posted 09.10.2019)
Having spent another day
Putting my body through the mill
It couldn’t be more clear to me
That sleeping is a skill
Sleep Is Futile
What’s the
point in
going to bed
With all
this shit
inside my head
It’s not
like I’ll be
allowed to rest
With this
sickness deep
inside my chest
(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)
I could very easily
Have left this job
Taken my life
In a different direction
But as I chose to stay
It’s yet another team day
Answering
This fucking inane question
Work
Well I
guess
there’s
nothing
else for it
Three hours
left wading
through
this
bullshit
Perhaps I
should
hand in
my notice
and quit
At least
then that
would be
the end
of it
(Originally Posted 30.08.2019)
Who do I think I’m kidding
She said
There’s no way that I could help you
You’d better off going it alone
She said
There’s more chance you’ll make it though
Ter(rain)
I’ll
take
your
hand
If
you
are
frightened
I’ll
hold
you
hair
If
you
feel
sick
I’ll
even
lead
you
To
the
path
of
enlightenment
If
you’re
really
fucking
quick
(Originally Posted 18.07.2020)
So as
The tide
At work
To stem
Now I don’t
Even bother
Talking
To them
The Office
Momentory conversations
With temporary people
Sharing fleeting emotions
Providing non-permanent relief
(Originally Posted 09.07.2019)
I said this out loud
Believe it or not
Once, in a hospital
That time forgot
Back then I was sick
And definitely tired
As all my issues
Felt pretty hard wired
The poor therapist
Didn’t know where to look
As she scribbled about me
In her hard backed book
The room fell silent
Apart from one boy
Who looked up and smiled
And I jumped for joy
Someone finally understood me
Somebody else felt my pain
So we went and smoked cigarettes
Until group therapy started again
Group Therapy
I’m
glad
you
find
it
helpful
But I
certainly
do not
What’s
the
point
in
telling
tales
When
you’ve
already
lost
the
plot?
(Originally Posted 19.05.2020)
Trudging through this half a life
Really just subsisting
Knowing I’d be
Better off dead
Than merely just existing
I can’t help you
She said
I have nothing to give
Don’t count on me
She said
For your reason to live
I always
thought
being
with you
was hell
Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse
Xxx
What is the point
In another day
Living in silence
Wasting away
Especially as
No one cares anyway
Better to go now
Than fade to grey
If you no longer love each other
Then what’s the fucking point
Just staying together to destroy each other
Noses permanently out of joint
Why not just call it quits
As it’s clear neither of you tries
That has to be better than being miserable
Until one of the two of you dies
By chance
I met
Your wife today
And she seems
Really nice
If only
She knew
What I do
Her smile
Would turn to ice
Come sit in the comfy chair
And I’ll tell you why you’re ill
We’ve got all night
To spend speaking shite
When your insurance is footing the bill
Ultimately,
You’ll find,
None of this shit matters.
There it goes
The last glimmer of humanity
Flushed down the bog
Along with my sanity
52,806 words
Who knew death could be so productive?
There’s really no point anymore
Now that joy seems so out of reach
It’s better to go now, than to linger
And to practice what I preach
Well that’s me back
In the doldrums again
Months of progress
Down the drain
I can no longer be bothered
With any motivation to find
For it’s clear now nothing will fix
This fragile mind of mine
The rain
May well
Have passed
She said
But sadly
So has
My prime
I may have
A long life left
But what use is it
Without any light
For all of my fire
Has been douted
Ever since
That awful night
How long is normal
To feel empty inside
Because I still do
Ever since he died
I do not need your cap and gown
For I already have my own crown
Such pomp and circumstance mean nothing to me
So you can fuck your Master of Arts Degree
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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